The One with the List

Friends 2×8

Rachel: Ross kissed me! ....
Monica: We wanna hear everything!
Phoebe: Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone.

Phoebe: Okay. All right. Let's hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips... or was it like a, you know, "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then... Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it.
Phoebe: Oh... So, okay, was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?
Rachel: No, actually, ahem, first they started out on my waist... and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
Monica: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.

Ross: And, uh... And then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?

Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy! Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive... built-in spreadsheet capabilities... and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Joey: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.

Monica: There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Joey: Oh, wait, here's one. Uh... Would you be willing to cook naked?
Monica: There's an ad for a naked chef?
Joey: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then...

Chandler: Don't ever touch the computer!

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Joey: Ross, listen. I got two words for you: Threesome.

Chandler: Let's get logical about this. We'll make a list. "Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons." We'll put their names in bold with different fonts... and I can use different colors for each column--
Ross: Can't we just use a pen?
Chandler: No, Amish boy. Let's start with the cons because they're more fun.

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's... not Rachel.

Chandler: I'm telling you, this thing won't print... Yes, I pressed that button, like, 100 times!... You know, for a hotline, you're not so hot.

Ross: You know what? If things were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list... that would ever make me not wanna be with you.
Rachel: Well, then I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
Joey: .... I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this situation before you can talk.
Chandler: Maybe a little longer.

Mr. Rastatter: Thanks for coming in again.
Monica: Oh, not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash.
Mr. Rastatter: It's like I'm looking in a mirror... Anyway, they're called Fish-tachios. Now, they taste exactly like pistachios... but they're made of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one.

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