8 февр. 2014 г.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

& Shirley: Okay. Chuck, what’s your last name?
    Chuck: Muskie.
    Shirley: M...
    Chuck: M-U-S-K-I-E.
    Irving: D-O-U-C-H-E is how you spell it.

& Irving: Can we say a prayer?.. Lord, please look after Billy and I on our journey with Ellie. And Lord, please look after these men because they were very sweet and they’re also accomplices to probably what was technically a crime, but we’re not gonna say anything.

& Irving: God bless you. God bless you, James. Thank you!
    Billy: Thanks for the crime!

& — Okay, what you need?
    Irving: Chickens. Chicken breast. Any kind of breast.


& Irving: It’s all right. She’s already dead.
    — What?
    Irving: Yeah, she died a few days ago. We’re just bringing her in ’cause it’s respectful. Don’t want to leave her in the trunk.

& Billy: Excuse me? Have you seen my grandpa?
    Pedestrian: Your grandpa?
    Billy: I think he’s lost. He’s kind of an idiot.
    Pedestrian: Why is he an idiot?
    Billy: ’Cause he’s lost, duh.

& Billy: ’What’re we gonna do with Grandma’s body?
    Irving: I don’t know, buddy. We met with someone to discuss that, but your grandma, she wasn’t very cooperative that day. Just said some nonsense about throw her off a bridge for all she cares.

& Irving: You know what a woman likes?
    Billy: ’A new fishing rod?
    Irving: No. Magic!

& Irving: Oh, my God. That was redder than an ape’s ass.
    — Watch your mouth!
    Irving: Sorry. That was redder than an ape’s tuchas.

& Irving: You can get away with most anything, all you got to do is try. Follow my lead.

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+ quotes on the IMDb

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