Hogfather (4/4)

Ранее

* Chickenwire: There's, er, there's people down there, Mr Teatime.
   Teatime: Well, just do away with them.
   Chickenwire: Well, er, one of them's a girl.
   Teatime: Then, do away with them... politely.


* Death: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE AUDITORS? {...} NOT AUDITORS OF MONEY. AUDITORS OF REALITY. THEY ARE THE CIVIL SERVICE OF EVERYTHING.
   Archchancellor: And they want to get rid of us?
   Death: THEY WANT HUMANS TO BE... LESS CREATIVE. THE HOGFATHER IS A SYMBOL OF THIS. THEY HATE THE WAY HUMANS MAKE UP STORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE. I CAN'T THINK WHY.
   Archchancellor: And you, why are you doing this job?
   Death: SOMEONE MUST.


* Death: IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT. BEFORE DAWN, THERE MUST BE ENOUGH BELIEF IN THE HOGFATHER.
   Archchancellor: Why?
   Death: SO THAT THE SUN WILL COME UP.
  (all wizards chuckle)
   Death: I SELDOM JOKE.


* Death: YOU COULDN'T RESIST IT IN THE END. A MISTAKE, I FANCY. IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE. SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. AND, YOU SEE, THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE FOR EVERY MOMENT, THE MORE ALIVE YOU STAY. WHICH IS WHERE I COME IN, AS A MATTER OF FACT.


* Dogs-Auditors: You can't do this. There are rules.
   Death: YES, THERE ARE RULES. BUT YOU BROKE THEM. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU! AND NOW THERE REMAINS ONLY ONE FINAL QUESTION.
   HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE?
   HO! HO! HO!

---

* Sideney: Yes! Yes! Left-handed using a wooden pick.


* Susan: Good. Now, tell me...
   Death: WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM?
   Susan: Yes.
   Death: THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.
   Susan: Then what would've happened?
   Death: A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.
   Susan: Alright, I'm not stupid.


* Susan: You're saying that humans need fantasies to make life bearable?
   Death: NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
   Susan: With tooth fairies, Hogfathers...
   Death: YES. AS PRACTICE, YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
   Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
   Death: YES. JUSTICE, MERCY, DUTY, THAT SORT OF THING.
   Susan: But they're not the same at all.
   Death: YOU THINK SO? THEN, TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE, AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY.
   AND YET, YOU TRY TO ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME... SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
   Susan: But people have got to believe that, or what's the point?
   Death: YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?


* Susan: You winked at me. I thought you had a plan.
   Death: INDEED. OH, YES. I PLANNED TO SEE WHAT YOU WOULD DO.
   Susan: What?
   Death: I DID ADD THE SPARKLY STARS AND THE NOISE, THOUGH. I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE APPROPRIATE.
   Susan: And if I hadn't done anything?
   Death: I DARE SAY I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING... AT THE LAST MINUTE.
   Susan: That was the last minute.
   Death: THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAST MINUTE.


* Death: AH. I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU.
   Susan: Oh! Thank you. What is it?
   Death: ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.
   Susan: Oh.
   Death: THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON.
   Susan: Ah.
   Death: IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.
   Susan: Really?
   Death: IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL.


* Susan: Granddad?
   Death: YES?
   Susan: Why? I mean, why did you do all this?
   Death: HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM? QUITE ASTONISHING.


--- Словарик:
vitally — жизненно важный
seldom — редко, нечасто, изредка
fancy — предполагать, полагать
naughty — непослушный; шаловливый; капризный; дурной, гадкий; плохой
grind down — размалывать
sieve — решето, сито; просеивать
melted — расплавленный; растаявший
robin — малиновка
boredom — скука, тоска
astonishing — удивительный, изумительный



7.5/10 на Imdb (> 3,400 голосов по состоянию на 26/1/10).


! Читать книжку. В свое время, конечно. Но — всенепременнейше.