The Big Bang Theory 3x01

The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Season 3, Episode 1

Ура! Они вернулись! Да еще как...

* Howard: Okay, Sheldon, sit down. Look... We need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole.
   Sheldon: If this is about the night the heat went out, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
   Howard: It's not about that. And we agreed never speak of it again.
   Sheldon: So we slept together naked. It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
   Howard: He's speaking about it.
   Raj: For me,it was a bonding moment.


* Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
   Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
   Howard: That's why I added the "tator." And then when we finally got our first positive data, you were so happy...
   Sheldon: Oh, yes. In the world of emoticons, I was colon, capital "D." {i.e. :-D}
   Howard: Well, in actual, what your equipment detected wasn't so much evidence of paradigm-shifting monopoles as it was... static from the electric can opener we were turning on and off.
   Raj: He just went colon, capital "O." {i.e. :-O}
Sheldon: You tampered with my experiment?
   Howard: We have to.
   Raj: It was the only way to keep you from being such a huge Dickensian. You see that? I add the "ensian."


* Sheldon: Leonard. Leonard. Leonard.
   Leonard 2 Penny: Do not make a sound.
   Sheldon: Whispering, "Do not make a sound..." is a sound.

---

* Howard: If I may abruptly change the subject, did you and Penny finally... you know...
   Leonard: Howard...
   Howard: No. Personally, I didn't care, but my genitals wanted me to ask.
   Leonard: Well, tell your genitals what I do with Penny is none of their business.
   Howard 2 genitals: He says they didn't do it.


* Penny: Oh, boy! What is it?
   Leonard: It's a snowflake. From the North Pole.
   Penny: Are you serious?
   Leonard: It'll last forever. I preserved it in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetylene resin.
   Penny: Oh, my God. That's the more romantic thing anyone's ever said to me that I didn't understand.
   Leonard: It's actually a pretty simple process. You see, cyanoacrylates are monomers which polymerize on...


* Penny: Wait a second, Leonard, come on, how can you not go? He's your best friend.
   Leonard: Yeah, but I already saw him naked. Just come here.
   Penny: No. I promise I will be here when you get back. Just go help Sheldon.
   Leonard: Really?
   Penny: Yeah. We waited a few months. We can wait a few more days.
   Leonard: Maybe you can.


* Leonard: We came to apologize. And bring you home. So, why don't you pack up your stuff and we'll head back?
   Sheldon: No, this is my home now. Thanks to you, my career is over and I will spend the rest of my life here in Texas trying to teach evolution to creationists.
   Sheldon's Mom: Watch your language, Sheldon. You know everyone is entitled to their opinion.
   Sheldon: Evolution isn't an opinion, it's fact.
   Sheldon's Mom: And that is your opinion.
   Sheldon: I forgive you. Let's go home.
   Sheldon's Mom: And don't tell me prayer doesn't work.



--- Словарик:
plummeting — стремительно падать
obnoxious — оскорбительный, предосудительный; противный; неприятный, отвратительный; надоедливый
tamper — изменять, подделывать, искажать
snowflake — снежинка
resin — смола


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