Hogfather (3/4)

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* Albert: [When I was 7] I spent hours with me nose pressed up against the window, till someone heard me calling and unfroze me. Yes, I would've killed for that horse. But you know what? I still hung up my stocking on Hogswatch Eve. And do you know why? 'Cos I had hope! Yeah. And the next morning, our dad had put in my stocking a little wooden horse that he had carved his very own self.
   Death: AH, AND THAT WAS WORTH MORE THAN ALL THE EXPENSIVE TOY HORSES IN THE WORLD?
   Albert: No, 'cos you're a selfish little bugger when you're only seven. It's only grown-ups that think like that.
   Death: THIS IS WRONG. IT IS... UNFAIR.
   Albert: Well, that's life, innit, Master, eh?
   Death: BUT I'M NOT!! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY.
   Albert: Hmm.
   Death: AND OTHER THINGS ENDING IN "OLLY".


* Bilious, Oh God of Hangovers: Wait! I could help you!
   Susan: Would you be any good in a fight?
   Bilious: Er, yes. I could be sick on people.


* Albert: Poor Little Match Girl dying in the snow is all part of the spirit of Hogswatch, Master. You see, people hear about it and they say, "We might be as poor as a disabled banana and only can afford to eat mud and boots, but see how much better off we are than the Poor Little Match Girl!" That makes them happy and grateful for what they have got.
   Death: I KNOW WHAT THE SPIRIT OF HOGSWATCH IS, ALBERT. { bzzz... Poor Little Match Girl uprising }
   Albert: You're not allowed to do that!!
   Death: THE HOGFATHER CAN. THE HOGFATHER GIVES PRESENTS. THERE'S NO BETTER PRESENT THAN THE FUTURE.

---

* Hex: Humans have always ascribed random, seasonal, natural or inexplicable actions to human-shaped entities. Such examples are the Hogfather, the Tooth Fairy and Death.
   Stibbons: What we're getting is the personification of forces.
   Archchancellor: A bit like the Hogfather? I mean, when you're a kiddie, it's as good an explanation as any as where presents come from. But why is it happening now?
   Hex: Beliefs causing new creatures to appear. There's a finite quantity of belief in the universe.
   Archchancellor: Well, certainly people can only believe in so many things.
   Hex: It follows that if a major focus of belief is removed, there will be spare belief.
   Archchancellor: Alright, then. Well, I just don't... What are people not believing in all of a sudden, then?
   Hex: Out of cheese error. Melon. Melon. Melon. Redo from start.


* Susan: It's teeth.
   Hangover: And I should be scared?
   Susan: There's nothing that scary about teeth.
   Hangover: Did I say I was scared? I must just be hungover again.
   Susan: Oh, no!
   Hangover: They're only teeth.



--- Словарик:
bugger — мерзавец, тип; шельмец (о мальчике, собаке и т. п.)
Hangover — (разг.) похмелье
ascribe — приписывать (кому-л.)

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