Frame Toby

The Office 5×8

Michael Scott: Brownies! I'm taking two, so I can parcel them up and eat them at my leisure later on. Much healthier.

Toby Flenderson: Hi, Michael.
Michael Scott: No! God! No, God, please, no! No! No! No!

David Wallace: Michael, you texted me, "911, call me."
Michael Scott: Yes.
David Wallace: All in caps. Do you know what "911" means?...
Michael Scott: I learned a while back that if I don't text "911," people will not return my calls. But now people always return my calls, because they think that something horrible has happened.

Oscar Martinez: "To whoever made the microwave mess. The microwave is a shared kitchen appliance. By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed."
Andy Bernard: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar Martinez: No kidding.
Angela Martin: Yeah.
Pam Beesly: Wait, what? The mess or the note?
Oscar Martinez: The note. So "holier than thou."

Michael Scott: I tried. I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail. I feel like I'm dying inside.

Michael Scott: That's it. That's it, perfect. We will get him to hit on somebody, and then we'll catch him in the act.
Dwight Schrute: I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.
Michael Scott: Me, too.

Michael Scott: I've never framed a man before. Have you? ... It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean.

Dwight Schrute: Wait, officers, are you sure you don't want to interrogate him? You have laws that protect you in any kind of interrogation. Why don't you use them?

Michael Scott: You must feel pretty good about yourself right now.
Toby Flenderson: I didn't put Caprese salad in my drawer, Michael. Did you?
Michael Scott: Since when is it illegal to put Caprese salad anywhere?

Toby Flenderson: You know, the police could have been out there, catching real criminals, instead of here, searching my stuff.
Michael Scott: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That's what you're worried about? You're worried about the cops' time. You think I framed you and you're worried about the taxpayer? God!

Michael Scott: Welcome back, jerky jerk-face. You said you were leaving, and you made liars out of all of us.
Toby Flenderson: I did leave.
Michael Scott: Yes, you did. And then you came back. Which makes you the biggest liar of history.

Michael Scott: Do you want to hear a lie?
Toby Flenderson: What?
Michael Scott: I think you're great. You're my best friend.

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