Customer Survey

The Office 5×6

Dwight Schrute: Wait, is this a joke? I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes.
Michael Scott: Do I look like I am joking?
Dwight Schrute: No, but that's sometimes part of it.
Michael Scott: If I were joking, you'd be laughing.
Dwight Schrute: Do you look like you are laughing?
Dwight Schrute: Impossible to say, I can't see myself.
Michael Scott: You're not.

Pam Beesly: Describe him exactly. What color mustard is his shirt, yellow or Dijon?
Jim Halpert: It is spicy brown, actually.

Michael Scott: Here's what's going to happen, I am going to have to fix you. Manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?
Jim Halpert: Micro-gement.
Michael Scott: Boom. Yes.

Dwight Schrute: The reason that I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't. There is a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved.
Kelly Kapoor: Dwight, get out of my nook!
Pam Beesly: That's what she said. That's what she said! That's what she said!
Jim Halpert: Good one.

Michael Scott: Kelly...
Kelly Kapoor: I was raped.
Michael Scott: You cannot say "I was raped" and expect all your problems to go away, Kelly. Not again. Don't keep doing that.

Michael Scott: I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. And I hate it. I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities. Here's what we're going to do...

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