College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle

Young Sheldon 6×9

Sheldon: When I make jokes, I follow them with a "bazinga" so it's clear. Like this: "Bazinga."

Sheldon: How long does it take to grow a mustache?

Mary: Hey, how was the game?
George: Fine.
Mary: Well, Pineview's a tough team. Don't beat yourself up.
George: No, we won.
Mary: I want to be happy, but your face is confusing me.
George: We destroyed 'em. It was a blowout.
Mary: That doesn't clear things up.
George: Pastor Rob prayed with the team before the game and everyone thinks he's the reason we won.
Mary: So you're mad he helped you win?
George: He didn't help! I coached that team up, I designed the game plan. But who do they hoist on their shoulders after the final whistle?
Mary: Well...
George: What?
Mary: Come on.

Pastor Rob: Oh, well, I can't take credit for that. Gotta give it to the big guy.
Hubert: George?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I meant the big guy upstairs, but yeah, him, too.

Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.
Dr. Sturgis: Well, sometimes people assume, because of my age, that I'm out of touch, that I, uh, don't know how to use new technologies, that I, uh... Hold on, there's a third one.

Cheryl: So when you baptize someone, are you only wearing swim trunks or...?
Pastor Rob: Oh, no, no, fully covered.
Cheryl: So is it, like, in a pool... or a hot tub or...

Dr. Sturgis: Well, Sheldon, I know it's disappointing, but, uh, I think they just have your best interests at heart.
Sheldon: They said that, too.
Dr. Sturgis: And for every Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, there's a Paul Labiscous.
Sheldon: Who's that?
Dr. Sturgis: Exactly!

George: Y'all want a prayer, I'll give you a prayer. Circle up... Heavenly Father, bless this team and the hands that catch... the-the ball...
Wayne: Oh, boy.
George: ...the feet that run and... and kick...

Sheldon: So will you give us the funding?
Gary O'Brien: Well, it's a lot of money, but my horoscope did say take a chance today.
Dr. Sturgis: You're, uh, making a big financial decision based on astrology?
Gary O'Brien: I know, I'm such a Gemini, right?

Sheldon: That's ridiculous. The alignment of the planets and stars has no correlation to your success or failure.
Gary O'Brien: Ah, this is great. I mean, science thrives on this kind of debate.
Sheldon: This isn't a debate.
Gary O'Brien: Rebuttal: Yes, it is. There we go again.

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