The Merger

The Office 3×8

Andy Bernard: I wanna talk to you about this new boss, Michael Scott.
Jim Halpert: Yeah?
Andy Bernard: So what's he like? Likes, dislikes, favorite sports, favorite movies, favorite men's magazines.
Jim Halpert: You know what? I think you just need to meet him.

Michael Scott: This is Hannah Smoterich-Barr! Welcome to our humble abode. Follow me to your desk. Your ball-and-chain is right over here.

Andy Bernard: I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Andy Bernard: I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.

Michael Scott: Martin Nash, I presume? This is a little gift bag for you free of charge. Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. Not...

Jim Halpert: Hey, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Fact. I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me.
Jim Halpert: Okay, sounds good.

Dwight Schrute: Which is higher, Assistant Regional Manager, or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?
Michael Scott: I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, so who gets paid more, me or Andy?
Michael Scott: It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different, okay?

Dwight Schrute: Okay, who reports to who?
Michael Scott: I don't care, Dwight! You all report to me. That's all that matters! The rest of it just work out amongst yourselves, okay?

Michael Scott: Well, so far, I think it is killing. I thought it would either be an A or an A-plus, but I completely forgot that there is an A-plus-plus.

Stanley Hudson: I don't know who these new people think they are. I've sat downwind of Phyllis' stinky perfumes for years. Never said a word.

Martin Nash: What is with this guy?
Stanley Hudson: Got an hour? I'll try to explain.
Martin Nash: This is egregious! This is egregious!
Stanley Hudson: Trust me, it only gets worse.

Hannah Smoterich-Barr: Is he always like this?
Kevin Malone: Sometimes he brings... more costumes.
Karen Filippelli: When do people work?
Phyllis Lapin: We find little times during the day.

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