Diwali

The Office 3×6

Michael Scott: Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community.

Michael Scott: What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it, "It's... I have... It's so super fun and it's gonna be great." A lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later you find out that it's essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Angela Martin: Don't go. They eat monkey brains.
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, hey. Stop that. That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.

Michael Scott: It's important that this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley, come Kwanza time, I have got you covered, baby.
Stanley Hudson: I don't celebrate Kwanza.
Michael Scott: Really? You should. It's fun.

Michael Scott: I love the people here. And if there was one thing I don't really care for, is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures.

Jim Halpert: I started biking to work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

Michael Scott: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean, look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed Bratton: I have, that's Union of the Monkey.
Meredith Palmer: Oh, that's what they call it.
Kevin Malone: This is the best meeting we have ever had.

Michael Scott: So, tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die, she has to throw herself on a fire?... No, okay. It's still very cool.

Michael Scott: Hi. Sorry, I just have an announcement to make. Okay. I have learned a lot about Indian culture tonight, but I have learned even more about love. And I know you're all thinking, "Who is this crazy gringo and what is he talking about?" Well, I'm not crazy. Maybe I'm crazy in love. So, without further ado, Carole...

Michael Scott: Carol Stills, I would like you to do me the honor of making me your husband.

Michael Scott: Hey, you know what? Why don't I come with you? 'Cause I've got this book called the Kama Sutra...

Angela Martin: You look like you were having fun.
Pam Beesly: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela Martin: I have to watch our shoes so they don't get stolen.

Michael Scott: This is going out to Indians everywhere. It's a tribute to one of the greats, Mr. Adam Sandler...

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