Sal Nealon: I'm really sorry for your loss, but I ain't gonna blow a bunch of smoke up your ass. The worst thing that can happen to anybody has landed on you, and now you just got to deal with it.
Sal Nealon: The thing is... you don't have to listen to no colonels no more. Those days are gone.
Reverend Richard Mueller: There wasn't nothin' we could do at that point.
Sal Nealon: And we did nothin'. And sometimes you got to do a little more.
Sal Nealon: You see, I'm not gonna stand there and try to explain myself to Him, I'm gonna make God explain Himself to me. Yeah, and I think by the end of it, He'll say, "Hey, come on. Get in here. You? You're my kind of dude. You, give me one of these."
Reverend Richard Mueller: All right, well, good luck with that. I'll be praying for you, you hear?
Sal Nealon: Yeah, well, I'll be hoping for the same thing. But, boy, if it's a tight-ass God, then I am fucked.
Sal Nealon: You know, Doc, you can make this a whole lot easier on yourself.
Larry 'Doc' Shepherd: Yeah, I don't want to make it easy on myself.
Sal Nealon: Yeah, you're right. Guys like us, we... take all that shit till it's a disaster. And then we're cool. The worst has happened, like we knew it would.
Larry 'Doc' Shepherd: What happened?
Reverend Richard Mueller: After they ID'd me as the Reverend Richard Mueller, found that I am not a Muslim radical, nor am I a mullah.
Sal Nealon: Mullah the Mauler! Huh?
Sal Nealon: So, kid, how's the living over there? Hmm?
Lance Corporal Washington: It's all right... But they sure fuckin' hate us over there.
Sal Nealon: Sound familiar?
Reverend Richard Mueller: I swear to God, we got to be the only occupying force in history that expects them to like us.
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