Michael's Birthday

The Office 2×19

Stanley Hudson: It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme.
Michael Scott: Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will.
Toby Flenderson: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, that one from the e-mail?
Michael Scott: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay?

Michael Scott: Today is my B-day. And people around here just go crazy for it. I don't know why. Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria!

Jim Halpert: Michael's birthday... It's pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. And then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that's when we get our work done.

Dwight Schrute: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

Dwight Schrute: What about that meeting later to discuss finances?
Angela Martin: Yes. But don't expect any cookie.
Dwight Schrute: But what if I'm hungry?
Angela Martin: No cookie!

Michael Scott: Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much. You get no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.

Michael Scott: Well, apparently, in the medicine community, "negative" means "good," which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.

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