The Weight

Resident Alien 2×11

D'Arcy Bloom: I'm like one of those condemned buildings that doesn't have a sign outside that says, "Unsafe," just filled with asbestos. And, you know, it's not gonna kill you right away, but it'll take years off your life.

Asta Twelvetrees: Being friends with Harry is like... It's like raising a child who lies and tells secrets and has weird alien powers.

Coach: Everyone falls. Question is, then what?

Max: If it's a girl, it's not him.
Harry Vanderspeigle: How do you know it is a him?
Max: I didn't say "him." I said "shepherd's pie."
Harry Vanderspeigle: That is a terrible lie. They do not even sound alike. And shepherd's pie, that is... it's not a pie. It should be called shepherd's meat vomit.

Max: She's my friend.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Well, what about me? I am your friend.
Max: You don't treat me like I'm your friend.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Well, you are not my friend. I am your friend.

Max: I thought RV stood for "real big van..."
Harry Vanderspeigle: Your skull is very hollow.
Max: Good. Helps me run faster.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Do not talk to me like that! I will send you to the ice wind desert for two weeks with no food. The cold will creep upon your body to steal your life. Resources are scarce. The only thing to drink will be the blood of your siblings that you have killed to maintain dominance.
Max: Doesn't sound safe

. Dan Twelvetrees: Well, it's a gift to share something hard with someone you love. Means you care about them enough to let them help you.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: But of course, you know, I want a baby. Uh, but, you know, not having to wake up at 3:00 in the morning, it's not too bad.
Kate Hawthorne: No, of course, you know, I want a baby too. It's just not the end of the world not to have to give up sushi for nine months.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Thank God. A toast...
Kate Hawthorne: Yes.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: To not having kids.
Kate Hawthorne: Well, we have one.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Eh, let's pretend.

D'Arcy Bloom: I know you work with him and everything, but what do you even talk about?
Asta Twelvetrees: Nothing, except the fate of the entire world.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Humans have discovered there is strength in numbers. But maybe the strongest thing in their life is the person they are closest to.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Everybody needs a friend, especially when they are in danger.

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