The Merger

The Office 3×8

Andy Bernard: I wanna talk to you about this new boss, Michael Scott.
Jim Halpert: Yeah?
Andy Bernard: So what's he like? Likes, dislikes, favorite sports, favorite movies, favorite men's magazines.
Jim Halpert: You know what? I think you just need to meet him.

Michael Scott: This is Hannah Smoterich-Barr! Welcome to our humble abode. Follow me to your desk. Your ball-and-chain is right over here.

Andy Bernard: I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Andy Bernard: I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.

Michael Scott: Martin Nash, I presume? This is a little gift bag for you free of charge. Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. Not...

Jim Halpert: Hey, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Fact. I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me.
Jim Halpert: Okay, sounds good.

Dwight Schrute: Which is higher, Assistant Regional Manager, or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?
Michael Scott: I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, so who gets paid more, me or Andy?
Michael Scott: It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different, okay?

Dwight Schrute: Okay, who reports to who?
Michael Scott: I don't care, Dwight! You all report to me. That's all that matters! The rest of it just work out amongst yourselves, okay?

Michael Scott: Well, so far, I think it is killing. I thought it would either be an A or an A-plus, but I completely forgot that there is an A-plus-plus.

Stanley Hudson: I don't know who these new people think they are. I've sat downwind of Phyllis' stinky perfumes for years. Never said a word.

Martin Nash: What is with this guy?
Stanley Hudson: Got an hour? I'll try to explain.
Martin Nash: This is egregious! This is egregious!
Stanley Hudson: Trust me, it only gets worse.

Hannah Smoterich-Barr: Is he always like this?
Kevin Malone: Sometimes he brings... more costumes.
Karen Filippelli: When do people work?
Phyllis Lapin: We find little times during the day.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Last Flag Flying (2017)

Sal Nealon: I'm really sorry for your loss, but I ain't gonna blow a bunch of smoke up your ass. The worst thing that can happen to anybody has landed on you, and now you just got to deal with it.

Sal Nealon: The thing is... you don't have to listen to no colonels no more. Those days are gone.

Reverend Richard Mueller: There wasn't nothin' we could do at that point.
Sal Nealon: And we did nothin'. And sometimes you got to do a little more.

Sal Nealon: You see, I'm not gonna stand there and try to explain myself to Him, I'm gonna make God explain Himself to me. Yeah, and I think by the end of it, He'll say, "Hey, come on. Get in here. You? You're my kind of dude. You, give me one of these."
Reverend Richard Mueller: All right, well, good luck with that. I'll be praying for you, you hear?
Sal Nealon: Yeah, well, I'll be hoping for the same thing. But, boy, if it's a tight-ass God, then I am fucked.

Sal Nealon: You know, Doc, you can make this a whole lot easier on yourself.
Larry 'Doc' Shepherd: Yeah, I don't want to make it easy on myself.
Sal Nealon: Yeah, you're right. Guys like us, we... take all that shit till it's a disaster. And then we're cool. The worst has happened, like we knew it would.

Larry 'Doc' Shepherd: What happened?
Reverend Richard Mueller: After they ID'd me as the Reverend Richard Mueller, found that I am not a Muslim radical, nor am I a mullah.
Sal Nealon: Mullah the Mauler! Huh?

Sal Nealon: So, kid, how's the living over there? Hmm?
Lance Corporal Washington: It's all right... But they sure fuckin' hate us over there.
Sal Nealon: Sound familiar?
Reverend Richard Mueller: I swear to God, we got to be the only occupying force in history that expects them to like us.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The Weight

Resident Alien 2×11

D'Arcy Bloom: I'm like one of those condemned buildings that doesn't have a sign outside that says, "Unsafe," just filled with asbestos. And, you know, it's not gonna kill you right away, but it'll take years off your life.

Asta Twelvetrees: Being friends with Harry is like... It's like raising a child who lies and tells secrets and has weird alien powers.

Coach: Everyone falls. Question is, then what?

Max: If it's a girl, it's not him.
Harry Vanderspeigle: How do you know it is a him?
Max: I didn't say "him." I said "shepherd's pie."
Harry Vanderspeigle: That is a terrible lie. They do not even sound alike. And shepherd's pie, that is... it's not a pie. It should be called shepherd's meat vomit.

Max: She's my friend.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Well, what about me? I am your friend.
Max: You don't treat me like I'm your friend.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Well, you are not my friend. I am your friend.

Max: I thought RV stood for "real big van..."
Harry Vanderspeigle: Your skull is very hollow.
Max: Good. Helps me run faster.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Do not talk to me like that! I will send you to the ice wind desert for two weeks with no food. The cold will creep upon your body to steal your life. Resources are scarce. The only thing to drink will be the blood of your siblings that you have killed to maintain dominance.
Max: Doesn't sound safe

. Dan Twelvetrees: Well, it's a gift to share something hard with someone you love. Means you care about them enough to let them help you.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: But of course, you know, I want a baby. Uh, but, you know, not having to wake up at 3:00 in the morning, it's not too bad.
Kate Hawthorne: No, of course, you know, I want a baby too. It's just not the end of the world not to have to give up sushi for nine months.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Thank God. A toast...
Kate Hawthorne: Yes.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: To not having kids.
Kate Hawthorne: Well, we have one.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Eh, let's pretend.

D'Arcy Bloom: I know you work with him and everything, but what do you even talk about?
Asta Twelvetrees: Nothing, except the fate of the entire world.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Humans have discovered there is strength in numbers. But maybe the strongest thing in their life is the person they are closest to.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Everybody needs a friend, especially when they are in danger.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Branch Closing

The Office 3×7

Jan Levenson: I'm very sorry. I don't relish telling you this. You've been a big part of this company, and the Board asked me to thank you for your years of service.
Michael Scott: You're welcome.

Jan Levenson: A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch and the rest will be getting severance packages.
Michael Scott: Am I a "small number" person or a "severance package" person?

Stanley Hudson: It was nice to have those few hours when I thought it was over. Now, I have something to look forward to.

Michael Scott: Favorite moments in Dunder Mifflin history. Go.
Dwight Schrute: My first day when you hazed me by spraying me with the fire extinguisher.
Michael Scott: That was hilarious. The foam.
Dwight Schrute: My first sale. My promotion to assistant regional manager. Our basketball game. And when you took me to the hospital and told me that you cared about me.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Lost City (2022)

Beth Hatten: She is our new social media manager. And she's gonna be helping us target that younger demographic.
Allison: Meaning women in their 30s who wish they were in their 20s.

Loretta Sage: Well, being a sapiosexual--
Alan: Oh, is that when they do the snakes around the...
Loretta Sage: No. That's someone who finds, uh, intellect or intelligence, uh, very sexy, you know.
Alan: Same.

Alan: You want to know who else is stuck in the past? You are. You're so afraid of life hurting you again that you've stopped living.

Abigail Fairfax: Don't worry. That's just our final descent. But it is the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life.

Alan: I can help. Let me help.
Jack Trainer: Stay close. Stay alive.

Loretta Sage: Why are you so handsome?
Jack Trainer: My dad was a weatherman.

Alan: Maybe we shouldn't be just staring lovingly into each other's eyes like you're gonna fall in love like I'm not here.

Loretta Sage: Don't panic.
Alan: What do you mean, don't panic?
Loretta Sage: Just don't panic.
Alan: No. Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now.

Jack Trainer: We only use 10% of our brain, so I just switched to another 10%.
Alan: So, you're okay?
Jack Trainer: One hundred percent. Meaning 10%.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Diwali

The Office 3×6

Michael Scott: Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community.

Michael Scott: What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it, "It's... I have... It's so super fun and it's gonna be great." A lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later you find out that it's essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Angela Martin: Don't go. They eat monkey brains.
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, hey. Stop that. That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.

Michael Scott: It's important that this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley, come Kwanza time, I have got you covered, baby.
Stanley Hudson: I don't celebrate Kwanza.
Michael Scott: Really? You should. It's fun.

Michael Scott: I love the people here. And if there was one thing I don't really care for, is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures.

Jim Halpert: I started biking to work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

Michael Scott: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean, look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed Bratton: I have, that's Union of the Monkey.
Meredith Palmer: Oh, that's what they call it.
Kevin Malone: This is the best meeting we have ever had.

Michael Scott: So, tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die, she has to throw herself on a fire?... No, okay. It's still very cool.

Michael Scott: Hi. Sorry, I just have an announcement to make. Okay. I have learned a lot about Indian culture tonight, but I have learned even more about love. And I know you're all thinking, "Who is this crazy gringo and what is he talking about?" Well, I'm not crazy. Maybe I'm crazy in love. So, without further ado, Carole...

Michael Scott: Carol Stills, I would like you to do me the honor of making me your husband.

Michael Scott: Hey, you know what? Why don't I come with you? 'Cause I've got this book called the Kama Sutra...

Angela Martin: You look like you were having fun.
Pam Beesly: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela Martin: I have to watch our shoes so they don't get stolen.

Michael Scott: This is going out to Indians everywhere. It's a tribute to one of the greats, Mr. Adam Sandler...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Initiation

The Office 3×5

Jan Levenson: Tell me what you did yesterday.
Michael Scott: Nothing.
Jan Levenson: Nothing?
Michael Scott: Yeah, nothing. How was your day?

Jan Levenson: So, Pam, I'd like you to keep a log of everything Michael does, hour-by-hour, so that we can analyze it at corporate, okay?
Pam Beesly: I don't know if I'm...
Jan Levenson: Thanks, Pam.

Pam Beesly: It's weird. Jan used to treat Michael like he was a 10-year old. But lately it's like he's five.

Pam Beesly: Once a year, they bring in a little cart, and they give away free pretzels. It's really not a big deal... To some people it is.

Michael Scott: Productivity is important, but how can I be productive, if I have this one little thing in my brain that I cannot get out? And that one little thing is a soft pretzel. So, I'm just gonna have my soft pretzel, I'll get to work and I'm gonna be super-productive.

Stanley Hudson: I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive. And then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But, on pretzel day... Well, I like pretzel day.

Pam Beesly: You know, I just think that it's really important that you be productive today.
Michael Scott: Pam, productivity starts with patience and determination. I'll be back.

Michael Scott: Hi, please tell me you have a sweet pretzel left.
Pretzel Vendor: We do.
Michael Scott: Thank God!
Pretzel Vendor: And we have 18 different toppings. We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate, white chocolate, fudge, M&Ms, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, marshmallows, nuts, toffee nuts, coconut, peanut butter drizzle, Oreo, sprinkles, cotton candy bits and powdered sugar.
Michael Scott: Is there any way that you could do all of them?

Ryan Howard: So what is the deal?
Dwight Schrute: Establish time frames. Keep the phrase "real dollars" in their heads. And always keep the power in the conversation. That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. 'Cause you say the word "please" too much.
Ryan Howard: Wait, can you go back...
Dwight Schrute: Michael always says, "K-I-S-S." "Keep It Simple Stupid," great advice, hurts my feelings every time.
Ryan Howard: Okay, I'm going to establish time frames...

Michael Scott: Phyllis, Stanley, I want you to switch desks. I am going to re-organize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything. I think we're getting a lot done, don't you, on paper at least? And we are, after all, a paper company, are we not? Are we not? Are we not? Are you with me? Are you with me? Thank you very much!

Ryan Howard: I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
Dwight Schrute: Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail.

Dwight Schrute: It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're gonna be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.

Stanley Hudson: Three hundred, sixty-four days till the next pretzel day...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Justice Society: World War II (2021)

Iris West: Life is dangerous. It shouldn't stop us from living it.

Superman: That gem... it's Kryptonite. It's the only thing that can hurt me.
Flash: But, you're like a God. So, what's the plan?
Superman: Don't get hit. Avoid the beam. Punch really hard. Save the day.
Flash: I like it.

Wonder Woman: You are invincible?
Superman: I'm a little tough-skinned, that's all.
Wonder Woman: If you stand by and do nothing... you are as bad as the Nazis.
Superman: You're wrong.
Flash: Then why are you here?

Superman: In my time on this planet, I learned you look out for yourself.
Wonder Woman: This planet?
Flash: But in my time... Something's different... What about your parents?
Superman: Martha and Jonathan Kent died in an accident when I was three-years-old. I was sent to an orphanage.

Flash: I'm not in the past. This isn't a different time.
Wonder Woman: What are you talking about?
Flash: This is... this is a different Earth.

Flash: Ooh! And Iris says I'm not handy.

Superman: Promise me you won't give up on this. On life. On love. Remember. It's the only thing worth living for.

Steve Trevor: Steve Trevor. Colonel in the US Army, Wonder Woman's boyfriend.

Steve Trevor: Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Only today. Right now. That's why we fight, right? But honestly... being with you... I wouldn't trade it for all the tomorrows in the world.

Flash: The future is uncertain. It could be full of bad things or good things. But whatever the case, it's better to face it together.

Flash: I know we said that we could always have tomorrow, but whatever tomorrows I have, I want them to be with you.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Grief Counseling

The Office 3×4

Michael Scott: I am like Bette Midler in For The Boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained.
Pam Beesly: With cream and sugar?

Michael Scott: Attention, everybody! I just received a call from corporate with some news that they felt that I should know first. My old boss, Ed Truck, has died.
Phyllis Lapin: Oh, Michael, that's such terrible news. You must feel so sad.
Michael Scott: Yes, I am. It's very sad, because he was my boss.

Michael Scott: I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

Michael Scott: There is something wrong with everybody in here because we have lost a member of our family and you don't want to talk about it. You don't want to think about it, you just want to get back to work.

Michael Scott: There are five stages to grief, which are 'denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.' And right now, out there, they are all denying the fact that they're sad, and that's hard, and it's making them all angry. And it is my job to try to get them all the way through to acceptance and, if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.

Michael Scott: Let me just start. Let me show you how this works... I catch the ball... I lost Ed Truck and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And, at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone. And I'm crying, and nobody can hear me because I am terribly, terribly, terribly alone.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The We We Are

Severance 1×9

Ricken: "... consider the power an author... can hold over a reader... heretofore called 'you.' But what, indeed, is 'you'?" "How can 'you' mean different things to millions of readers around a vast Earth? And perhaps, most importantly, who are you?" "All creatures, from the leaping cat to the cowering shrew, think of themselves as 'you, ' a logical center for the universe. Yet the cat eats the shrew, and we, like Schrödinger, live on to wonder what it means." End of chapter.

Helena Eagan: My name is Helena, and I'm an Eagan. So one of the things you learn growing up as an Eagan is that the workers are our family. And I remember being confused about that as a kid, because I thought that meant I had a few hundred thousand literal brothers and sisters scattered around the world. But as I grew older, I learned that it's about shared ideals...

Jame Eagan: Do you remember when I brought home the first chip to show you? The prototype. It had the blue and green lights back then.
Helly: Yeah...
Jame Eagan: I remember you said to me, "It's so pretty, Daddy. Everybody in the whole world should get one." They will. Because of you. They'll all be Kier's children.

Helly: My name is Helly R. I'm an innie. And everything they've told you about severance is a lie!

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Coup

The Office 3×3

Jan Levenson: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on Earth would it do that?
Michael Scott: People work faster after.
Jan Levenson: Magically?
Michael Scott: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.

Dwight Schrute: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carole, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms.

Michael Scott: What's his name?
Dwight Schrute: .... Crentist.
Michael Scott: Your dentist's name is Crentist?
Dwight Schrute: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.

Michael Scott: Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There's no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology...

Michael Scott: Get up. And you can hug it out, bitch...
Dwight Schrute: "Hug it out, bitch." That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out. And in doing so, they just let it go. And walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn't translate.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

What's for Dinner?

Severance 1×8

Dylan: Is she gonna make it?
Mark: She's gonna make it.
Irving: Mark.
Mark: Yes?
Irving: Don't laugh.
Mark: At?
Irving: I just wonder if it might be helpful for us to stand behind her and perhaps chant her name...

Harmony Cobel: Mark, all sarcasm aside...
Mark: Yeah.
Harmony Cobel: Thank you.

Ms. Casey: My life has been 107 hours long. Most of that has been these half-hour sessions. For me, my favorite time was the eight hours I spent in your department watching Helly. It's the longest I've ever been awake. I suppose it's what you could call my good old days.

Ms. Casey: Why do you care what happens to me?
Mark: Because we're people, not parts of people. Even with what little they gave us, these are our lives. No one gets to just turn you off.

Mark: "Our job... is to taste free air. Your so-called boss may own the clock that taunts you from the wall. But, my..."
Dylan: "But, my friends, the hour is yours." Page 197 slaps.

Irving: Okay, kids. Let's find out what's for dinner...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood

Resident Alien 2×10

Harry Vanderspeigle: My official findings are consistent with my initial theory. I was right, and now I'm more right.

Harry Vanderspeigle: If you see her, do not mention... the "incident."
D'Arcy Bloom: What incident? I don't know what you're talking about.
Harry Vanderspeigle: The murder.
D'Arcy Bloom: I know what you're talking about.
Harry Vanderspeigle: You said you did not know what I was talking about.
D'Arcy Bloom: Because I don't wanna talk about it.
Harry Vanderspeigle: I do not want to talk about it. I do not even care.
D'Arcy Bloom: You're in denial.
Harry Vanderspeigle: I am not in denial.
D'Arcy Bloom: So you're in denial about being in denial?
Harry Vanderspeigle: Yes. No. I deny denying it.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: I've got good news!
Sheriff Mike Thompson: The only news I want to hear is that you gonna stop clapping your bony, porcelain hands before they trigger a migraine.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Everything's... Everything's fine.
Sheriff Mike Thompson: You know I'm the town sheriff, right? Which means 100% of my job is being a therapist.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: That percentage seems... high.
Sheriff Mike Thompson: It's not. If anything, it's low.

Sheriff Mike Thompson: When it comes to talking to 'em, you gotta treat women like they in the cartel, right? You wanna have a conversation? You take 'em to a public place. That way you don't have to worry about them murdering you.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Why are you angry with me? Killing that man was a good thing. We are now both the same. We are both murderers. We should start a club.

Harry Vanderspeigle: ...you were happy. You smiled. I saw your teeth. I didn't even know you had teeth.
Asta Twelvetrees: Listen to me. Life is not just about smiling and happiness. It's also about pain and guilt and fear. They're called feelings for a reason so you feel them.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Those are bad feelings. When I feel bad feelings, I think about season five of "Law & Order....." I'm happy now. I'm thinking about it now. I'm happy.

Max: You found a zombie? That's dangerous, Zombies eat brains!

Harry Vanderspeigle: I need more fries!
Asta Twelvetrees: No. No more fries until you admit you're afraid to die.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Are you afraid to die?
Asta Twelvetrees: Death is complicated. That's why people don't really think about it. Or they eat through their emotions.
Harry Vanderspeigle: See, I'm normal. Hmm?

Asta Twelvetrees: Everyone is going to die someday, and it's scary. I know that I'm gonna die, but if I spend every second worrying about it, then I can't live. And part of the living is feeling it all. The good lifts you up, and the bad knocks you down, but you need the bad. You need those hard times.

Harry Vanderspeigle: How are you not afraid? You will be dead soon.
Gerard: Oh, no. The things got better when I found out that I was dying. It reminded me that life isn't forever. I-I began to appreciate every moment.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Like when there is only one slice of pie left... It tastes better.
Gerard: Exactly.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Defiant Jazz

Severance 1×7

Regabhi: I hate that term, "innie." So infantilizing. Then again, you've been severed for two years, right? So your innie really is still just a baby.
Mark: My innie lives his own life and, as a result, I get to live mine.
Regabhi: But he only exists because of you. And for all intents and purposes, he is you. Do you really think he's different down there? Combs his hair differently, laughs at different jokes? Maybe he loves it, you're right. But maybe he doesn't. Maybe he dreams every day about clawing his way to the surface. But you wouldn't know. You'll never know. You brought him into this world without his permission, based on your own desire for emotional convenience.

Mark: Wait, we're locked in now?
Mr. Milchick: I prefer the phrase, "safely situated." These doors help us to ensure you all are tucked nicely in your work spaces.

Helly: What's this?
Mark: It's an MDE.
Irving: She got to 75%?
Mr. Milchick: Helly R., please step forward.
Helly: MDE?
Mr. Milchick: By reaching 75% refinement on Siena, you have earned for you and your fellow refiners a five-minute Music Dance Experience.

Irving: Let's burn this place to the ground.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Convention

The Office 3×2

Michael Scott: Pam?
Pam Beesly: Yeah?
Michael Scott: Did you see Oprah yesterday?
Pam Beesly: No, I didn't.
Michael Scott: I... I'm going to be a father.


Michael Scott: You know what, Pam? If in 10 years, I haven't had a baby and you haven't had a baby... Pam Beesly: No, Michael.
Michael Scott: Twenty years.
Pam Beesly: No, Michael.
Michael Scott: Thirty.
Pam Beesly: .... Sure.

Angela Martin: In the Martin family, we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." That's code for "Check out the slut."

Michael Scott: I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.

Phyllis Lapin: You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you're worth it.
Pam Beesly: ...
Phyllis Lapin: If you do that, you're gonna have to put out.
Pam Beesly: ???
Stanley Hudson: Oh, yeah, you'll have to put out.

Michael Scott: Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it's talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well... Phooey on that.

Michael Scott: What are all those stains?!
Dwight Schrute: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael Scott: Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Gay Witch Hunt

The Office 3×1

Michael Scott: That is the fun of this place. I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive? Okay. I think Oscar would just like it if you used lame or something like that. That's what faggy means.
Toby Flenderson: No, not really.
Michael Scott: Oh.

Michael Scott: I would have never called him that if I knew. You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

Michael Scott: You know? I'm just... I... I can't even imagine the thing... Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime and you could tell me how you do that to another dude.

Michael Scott: There could be others. I need to know. I don't want to offend anybody else.
Dwight Schrute: You could assume everyone is and not say anything offensive.
Michael Scott: Yeah...

Toby Flenderson: Okay, Michael, are you aware that you outed Oscar today?
Michael Scott: What? What does that even...
Toby Flenderson: Coming out is a significant moment for a gay person. And they should be allowed to select the timing and manner of announcing it.
Michael Scott: Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade. It's not, like, gay shame festival.

Michael Scott: I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair?

Michael Scott: Nothing wrong with this stuff at all. This is fine. You know what? Gay porn, straight porn, it's all good. I don't particularly get into this but, you know what, I totally see the merit. And actually, it is quite beautiful.

Michael Scott: All right, everybody in the conference room!... I don't care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian or overweight, just get in here!

Michael Scott: Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up, it meant lame. And now it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos, Homo sapiens.

Michael Scott: We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature, but we can't lose the spirit of childlike wonder.

Michael Scott: What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar and some guy. Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?

Michael Scott: I'm glad if today spurred social change. That's part of my job as regional manager. But, you know what, even if it didn't, at least we put this matter to bed. That's what she said. Or he said.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Casino Night

The Office 2×22

Michael Scott: I consider myself a great philanderer. It's just... It's nice to know, at the end of the day, I can look in the mirror and say, "Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo has a belly full of rice this evening." Makes you feel good.

Jan Levenson: Well, the fact of the matter is that your branch is currently number four of the five branches that I oversee.
Michael Scott: Top 80%!

Michael Scott: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert: I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis Lapin: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis Lapin: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam Beesly: No, that's Afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No. Humans with AIDS.
Creed Bratton: Who has AIDS?
Michael Scott: Guys, the Afghanistananies.

Michael Scott: There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians, JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head. And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams.

Jim Halpert: Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they're all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams.

Dwight Schrute: I'm Michael's wingman. I've got his back. Two dates. He's got two dates tonight. My job is to keep Jan away from Carol and vice versa. Michael said, "We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them."

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

Vulcan master: This consciousness calling to you from space... It touches your human blood, Spock. You have not achieved Kolinahr. His answer lies elsewhere. He will not achieve his goal with us.

Vulcan master: Live long and prosper, Spock.

Capt. James T. Kirk: Mr. Scott, an alien object of unbelievable destructive power is less than three days away from this planet. The only starship in interception range is the Enterprise. Ready or not, she launches in 12 hours.

Capt. James T. Kirk: Bones, there's a thing out there.
Dr. McCoy: Why is any object we don't understand always called a "thing"?

Capt. James T. Kirk: Thrusters ahead, Mr. Sulu. Take us out.

Dr. McCoy: Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever.
Spock: Nor have you, Doctor, as your continued predilection for irrelevancy demonstrates.

Spock: On Vulcan I began sensing a consciousness from a source more powerful than I have ever encountered. Thought patterns of exactingly, perfect order. I believe they emanate from the intruder. I believe it may hold my answers.
Dr. McCoy: Well, isn't it lucky for you that we just happened to be heading your way?

Decker: Why are you opposed to trying?
Spock: Why bring us inside? Not to destroy us. They could have done that outside.
Decker: They still can.
Spock: Curiosity, Mr Decker. Insatiable curiosity.

Capt. James T. Kirk: Why does V'Ger travel to the third planet of the solar system directly ahead?
Ilia: To find the Creator.
Capt. James T. Kirk: Find the Creator? Whose... What does V'Ger want with the Creator?
Ilia: To join with him.
Spock: To join with the Creator? How?
Ilia: V'Ger and the Creator will become one.
Spock: And who is the Creator?
Ilia: The Creator is that which created V'Ger.
Capt. James T. Kirk: Who is V'Ger?
Ilia: V'Ger is that which seeks the Creator.

Ilia: Why does Enterprise require the presence of carbon units?
Decker: Enterprise would be unable to function without carbon units.
Ilia: More data concerning this functioning is necessary, before carbon units can be patterned for data storage.
Decker: What does that mean?
Ilia: When my examination is complete all carbon units will be reduced to data patterns.

Decker: Jim, V'Ger expects an answer.
Capt. James T. Kirk: An answer? I don't know the question.

Capt. James T. Kirk: A child?
Spock: Yes, Captain. A child. Evolving, learning, searching, instinctively needing.

Dr. McCoy: Now what do you suggest we do? Spank it?
Spock: It knows only that it needs, Commander, but like so many of us, it does not know what.

Capt. James T. Kirk: V-G-E-R. V'Ger. V-O-Y-A-G-E-R. Voyager! Voyager VI!
Decker: NASA. National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Jim, this was launched more than 300 years ago. Voyager series, designed to collect data and transmit it back to Earth.

Capt. James T. Kirk: Mr. Sulu, ahead warp 1.
Sulu: Warp 1, sir. Heading, sir?
Capt. James T. Kirk: Out there. Thataway.

—
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

>> Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Conflict Resolution

The Office 2×21

Michael Scott: What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced. So...
Toby Flenderson: That was the right decision for me and my marriage.
Michael Scott: Well, that's not gonna fly here, because in this office it is till death do us part.

Michael Scott: A "Mediators Toolchest." Okay. Well, before we get started, you should know that there are five different styles of conflict...

Angela Martin: Can we just skip to whatever number five is, win-win or whatever.
Michael Scott: Win-win is number four. And number five is win-win-win. The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win. Me, too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.

Michael Scott: Let's see if we can't just brainstorm and find some creative alternatives that are win-win.
Pam Beesly: Win.
Michael Scott: Yes. Thank you, Pam.

Kelly Kapoor: I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking.
Toby Flenderson: To your HR representative.
Kelly Kapoor: To my friend, I thought.

Michael Scott: Yes?
Jim Halpert: Dwight tried to kiss me.
Michael Scott: What?
Jim Halpert: And I didn't tell anyone 'cause I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
Dwight Schrute: That is not true! Redact it. Redact it!
Jim Halpert: Well, I'm not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it...

Pam Beesly: Someone complained that the men's room is whites only.
Michael Scott: Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley Hudson: I didn't say that.
Creed Bratton: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?

Michael Scott: When people work together, there is going to be conflict. You can't outrun your problems. And that is why the idea of a cage match is so universally appealing. But here's the thing about cage matches, sometimes you have to open the cage. And that is something that Toby will never understand.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Hide and Seek

Severance 1×6

Burt: Irving, you know, the Lumon manual doesn't say anything about lip-to-lip contact.
Irving: It does discourage romantic fraternization, though.
Burt: This can't be romantic then.
Irving: No. Not romantic... at all?

Burt: There is a lot unknown to us as well, but we keep plugging along. It's important work, obviously.
Irving: Everything we do here is important.
Helly: It's important because it actually is or because you're saying it is?
Mark: Look, maybe we should work together on this.
Felicia: Together doing what, exactly?
Mark: I don't know. Finding out why there are goats...

Mark: If the Eagan philosophy is illumination above all...
Irving: Illumination beyond all.
Mark: But yes. Then why doesn't that include us? Why are we down here still working in the dark?
Dylan: That was poetic as shit, man.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Drug Testing

The Office 2×20

Jim Halpert: Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.

Dwight Schrute: Let's go over some of these symptoms of marijuana use, shall we? You tell me who this sounds like. Slow moving, inattentive, dull, constantly snacking, shows a lack of motivation... Hey!

Dwight Schrute: I like the people I work with, generally. With four exceptions.

Dwight Schrute: It has to be official and it has to be urine.

Jim Halpert: I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight Schrute: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim Halpert: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight Schrute: I would remember.
Jim Halpert: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight Schrute: That's not how it works.
Jim Halpert: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight Schrute: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you.
Jim Halpert: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?

Michael Scott: I am ridiculously anti-drug. I am so anti-drug that I am above suspicion in any way that involves suspicion or testing of any kind.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Michael's Birthday

The Office 2×19

Stanley Hudson: It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme.
Michael Scott: Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will.
Toby Flenderson: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, that one from the e-mail?
Michael Scott: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay?

Michael Scott: Today is my B-day. And people around here just go crazy for it. I don't know why. Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria!

Jim Halpert: Michael's birthday... It's pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. And then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that's when we get our work done.

Dwight Schrute: Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

Dwight Schrute: What about that meeting later to discuss finances?
Angela Martin: Yes. But don't expect any cookie.
Dwight Schrute: But what if I'm hungry?
Angela Martin: No cookie!

Michael Scott: Yeah, I've been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much. You get no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.

Michael Scott: Well, apparently, in the medicine community, "negative" means "good," which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Autopsy

Resident Alien 2×9

Harry Vanderspeigle: Death is not a loss for my people, not like it is for humans. Where I am from, everything that exists is all part of the same ecosystem. When our life is over, we simply change form and return to where we started, part of the planet. We never really die.

Harry Vanderspeigle: I will do the autopsy. I will fake the results. I will make sure that Sheriff Hat and Deputy Sadsmile do not think you did it.

Sheriff Mike Thompson: Look at them rich people names: Troy Hendricks, Tanner Corrington... Sound like old-money murderers who killed their way out of trouble. The parents too busy buying yachts and wearing visors to teach 'em right from wrong.
Deputy Liv Baker: They probably wear belts that have whales and lobsters on 'em.
Sheriff Mike Thompson: Just a bunch of generational-wealth, privileged-as-hell, lacrosse-ass, pastel-shorts, boat-shoed mother... Sorry about the swearing.
Deputy Liv Baker: Oh, I swear all the time too.
Sheriff Mike Thompson: I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson. You can call me Big Black.
Det. Lena Torres: In that case, you can call me Medium Brown.
Deputy Liv Baker: I'm Liv. I'm white.

Det. Lena Torres: I run six miles every morning for a healthy body, and I do the crossword every night for a healthy mind.
Deputy Liv Baker: I can solve a Rubik's Cube. I learned from a book, but I don't need the book anymore.

Harry Vanderspeigle: I have a working theory that I would like to share with you, with the aid of my assistant, Judy Pooper.
Judy Cooper: It's Cooper. Pooper's my butt.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Judy Cooter.
Judy Cooper: Cooper! Cooter's my lady pocket.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

The Office 2×18

Pam Beesly: I am not great with kids, but I wanna get better because I'm getting married. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.
Jim Halpert: Bribery. Nice.

Michael Scott: Hi, children. I'm Michael Scott and I am in charge of this place. How do I make you understand... I am like Superman. And the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City.
Jim Halpert: That's Batman.
Michael Scott: Okay. I'm Aquaman. Where does he live, guys?
Ryan Howard: The ocean.
Michael Scott: I work with a bunch of nerds.

Kelly Kapoor: Don't you just love kids, Angela?
Angela Martin: I guess I wouldn't mind a pair of small, well-behaved boys.

Michael Scott: I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives. They're adults, for God's sake!

Young Michael: I wanna be married and have a 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.

Jake Palmer: Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something.
Dwight Schrute: Okay. But first, that's not my name.
Jake Palmer: You're ugly.
Dwight Schrute: Well, at least I'm not a horrible little latchkey kid who got suspended from school. So...

Michael Scott: Tell me something honestly. Do you think that it is too late for me to have kids?
Toby Flenderson: Well, you need a wife first. Or at least a girlfriend. What about...
Michael Scott: Not Jan.
Toby Flenderson: Okay. If you really wanna have kids, I guess you could somehow... A foster parent or something.
Michael Scott: Or biologically.
Toby Flenderson: Somehow.

Michael Scott: I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it. And I am going to do it. I need a username. And I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Grim Barbarity of Optics and Design

Severance 1×5

Harmony Cobel: This happened on your watch, Mark S. And you can thank Kier himself it went the way it did... Have a productive day.

& What separates man from machine is that machines cannot think for themselves. Also, they are made of metal, whereas man is made of skin.

& If you are a soldier, do not fight for my freedom. Fight for the freedom of the soldier fighting next to you. This will make the war more inspiring for you both.

& A good person will follow the rules. A great person will follow himself.

& Bullies are nothing but Bull and Lies.
& At the center of "Industry" is "Dust."

& They cannot crucify you if your hand is in a fist.

& Should you find yourself contorting to fit a system, dear reader, stop and ask if it's truly you that must change or the system.

Devon: Oh, shit. It's a contraction.
Ricken: Mark, say a secret quickly.
Devon: He doesn't have to, babe.
Mark: What?
Ricken: The fetus is drawn to clear air. Purging secrets can create a soul void that speeds the labor.
Mark: Okay, and we want that?

Mr. Milchick: When she sees you, it's important your eyes be kind. Do you know how to make your eyes kind?
Mark: Um...

Ms. Casey: I'm here to observe Helly R.
Mark: Oh. Uh, no one told me.
Ms. Casey: Ms. Cobel's orders. I am to watch her for signs of sadness, and verbally encourage her to forgo further suicide attempts. Upon request, I can also perform a hug.
Dylan: You know I've been, uh, exhibiting signs of sadness. Could I get one of those?

Mr. Graner: You're not stopping it?
Harmony Cobel: "The surest way to tame a prisoner is to let him believe he's free."
Mr. Graner: There's a Kier quote for everything.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Memory (2022)

Mauricio: It's our job to know things, Alex. So stop talking this retirement shit. Men like us don't retire.

Alex Lewis: Happy retirement, Maury.

Alex Lewis: We all have to die, Vincent. What's important is what you do before you go.

Vincent Serra: You really expect we're gonna find justice?
Alex Lewis: I expect you to try.

Vincent Serra: So, memory's a motherfucker. And as for justice, It ain't guaranteed.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The You You Are

Severance 1×4

Mr. Milchick: We'll try again in the morning. See you tomorrow, Helly.
Helly: Fuck me!

Mark: How many times?
Helly: 1,072.

Mark: [when Petey was here] there was balance. We could have fun and work without the whole goddamn department imploding.
Helly: The work is bullshit.
Mark: The work is mysterious and important. And we deal with the uncertainty it brings us in the way that Kier would've wanted. Together, as a family.
Helly: I could not, with a razor to my throat, be less interested in being your family.

Helly: Well, boss. I guess this is the part where I should tell you to go to hell. Except you're already here.

Harmony Cobel: Vision. Verve. Wit. Cheer. Humility. Benevolence. Nimbleness. Probity. Wiles... Wiles!

Ricken: "Your job needs you, not the other way around."

Dylan: All right. 'Destiny'. An acrostic poem experience by the author, Ricken Hale.
    "D is for dreaming, the start of it all.
     E is for energy... breaking down walls.
     S is for stewardship, of home and of earth.
     T is for terror, which gives us more worth.
     I is for eyes, which observe us with love. Until
     N, meaning newness, rains down from above. And
     Y. That's a question we needn't now ponder. For
     DESTINY, friends, shall deliver all yonder."

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Compartment no 6

Irina: I'd like to raise a toast to my lovely Finnish friend who is traveling tomorrow far away to the north, to the Arctic, to see the petroglyphs. Hey! Here's to you, my dear! May this journey be unforgettable for you!

Conductor: You both are heading to Murmansk. No spitting on the floor, no littering in the toilet. Enjoy your journey!

Ljoha: Look! Wow! Russia is a great country. We... We... beat the Nazis. The Moon... We went there! You know... we... you know... Listen... What do you... What do you have in Estonia, which we don't have here?
Laura: What?
Ljoha: Not a fuck!

Ljoha: How do you say...
Laura: I'm from Finland.
Ljoha: What?
Laura: I'm from Finland.
Ljoha: I don't give a fuck.

Ljoha: So, what about the boyfriend?
Laura: My boyfriend's name is Irina. She's the most beautiful person I've ever met.

Ljoha: That's it?
Laura: That's it.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

In Perpetuity

Severance 1×3

Mark: Uh, you know, I... I'm not gonna unsever.
Petey: Well, I don't want you to unsever because that's not a word. Reintegration.
Mark: All right. Well, whatever.

Helly: Mark, I don't wanna work here with you. So don't burst into the bathroom with your pathetic boss voice on and try to convince me that I do.

Mark: I'll give you five minutes to scrub your arms.
Helly: Or what?
Mark: Do you want... Do you want Graner to use the bad soap?
Helly: There's bad soap?

Harmony Cobel: Are you gonna make me throw my mug at you?

Harmony Cobel: Mark? What I just did was something I knew that you could handle and grow from. It was very painful for me. I hope that you'll let it help you.
Mark: Um, open or closed?
Harmony Cobel: Both.

Dylan: Kier sorted the departments by virtue. Macrodats are clever and true, while O&D's more cruelty-centered.
Helly: How many departments are there?
Irving: Probably 30.
Dylan: Around five.

Irving: Look. Look. Each of these is a real smile from someone on the outside. Someone Lumon Industries has helped. And they rotate these through. The true number of smiles may well be in the millions.
Helly: So what are we, like, a dental company?

Helly: Wha... Wha... What is this?
Mr. Milchick: Read it.
Helly: I don't want to.
Mr. Milchick: No. Do.
Helly: "Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with wizened hands. All I can be is sorry, and that is all I am."
Mr. Milchick: I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Dwight's Speech

The Office 2×17

Jim Halpert: Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-sized paper company regional salesman can attain. So...

Michael Scott: Just try not to be such an idiot.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that an insult, or is that part of the public speaking advice?

Michael Scott: But seriously, what's the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Dwight K. Schrute: A saleswoman has a vagina.
Michael Scott: It's a joke, Dwight, it's not a sex ed class.
Dwight K. Schrute: But I'm right.
Michael Scott: Yeah, you're right about the difference between a man and a woman, but not about the punch line to the joke. All right? The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman is boobs.

Dwight K. Schrute: No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself!
     Some people will tell you "salesman" is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers and door-to-door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception.
     I say, salesmen and women of the world, unite!
     We must never acquiesce, for it is together... Together that we prevail! We must never cede control of the motherland! For it is... Together that we prevail!

Michael Scott: Dwight gave a great speech. That's the word on the street, anyway. And I entertained Dwight to no end with my bar story. So I captivated the guy who captivated a thousand guys. Can you believe that? A thousand guys...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Valentine's Day

The Office 2×16

Michael Scott: It's New York. The City of Love...

Michael Scott: New York, New York. The city so nice, they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.

Michael Scott: Here it is. The heart of New York City, Times Square. Named for the good times you have when you're in it.

Michael Scott: Most people, when they come to New York, they go straight to the Empire State Building. That's pretty touristy. I come here. Great places to eat. We have Bubba Gump shrimp, Red Lobster down there. You know... This is the heart of civilization, right here.

Dwight K. Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

Nick Cage: I'm gonna get this next role and when I do, all of that changes. Then, I'm back. And, by the way, not that I went anywhere.

Martin: I don't know if I'm losing my goddamn mind, but I'm pretty sure that's the actor Nick Cage.
Vivian: That motherfucker from Moonstruck?
Martin: Moonstruck? No! From Face/Off.

Lucas Gutierrez: Mr. Cage, we obviously are very excited to have you here. What are you working on next?
Nick Cage: Well, that's a tough question for an actor to get, but it's fine. 'Cause I'm no longer an actor. I've retired.
Javi Gutierrez: What? What do you mean, retired?
Gabriela Lucchesi: So, what are you going to do now?
Nick Cage: Live the life of a house cat. Because it's just a matter of time before the great power plant upstairs turns off the juice and we retreat to the black pit of nothingness from whence we came.

Javi Gutierrez: Whether you like it or not, you have a gift. And that gift brings light and joy to an increasingly dark and broken world! And to turn your back on that gift is to turn your back on the entire human race.
Nick Cage: The human race?
Javi Gutierrez: I'm afraid so.

Nick Cage: Well, it's impossible to be close with a 16-year-old. But I've tried to be there for her. It's just... There's no script for parenting.

Javi Gutierrez: Anyway, Mr. Cage, what is your favorite movie?
Nick Cage: Oh... favorite movie? Oh, wow! I mean, that... that is, uh... That's one of those questions that's impossible to answer. Because, you see, 100-plus years of rich cinema. You can't just limit it to one. It depends upon your mood, the seasons...

Nick Cage: I'm going to tell you something, but please don't freak out... I'm working for the CIA.

Lucas Gutierrez: Anything you'd like to say before you die?
Nick Cage: "It takes 13 milliseconds for the human brain to send a message to the body. So, by the time your bullets hit me, my cerebral cortex will be transmittin' a signal to the 17 healthy muscles that operate my trigger finger. And before your asshole has a chance to pucker up, your medulla oblongata will be splattered all over the fucking wall behind ya! And if that's the last thing I accomplish on this beautiful green earth, well, then, ha, I say, ha... What a way to fucking go."

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Boys and Girls

The Office 2×15

Michael Scott: But it's very disruptive. Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?

Michael Scott: Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Jan Levenson: Why don't we go around the table and all say something that we know we're good at? I will start. I am good at public speaking.
Meredith Palmer: Hi. I'm Meredith, and I'm an alch-- Good at supplier relations.
Jan Levenson: Great! Phyllis?
Phyllis Lapin: I'm good at computer stuff. E-mails, spreadsheets. All that.
Angela Martin: Really?
Phyllis Lapin: I don't know. I thought that...

Roy: I'm glad she has a friend at work she can get through the day with. Oh. And then she's not all "bap, bap, bap, bap," you know, when she gets home.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. I like talking to her, too.

Michael Scott: I just don't want to have to tell them something they're not gonna want to hear.

Kelly Kapoor: What about "second base"? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you, does that mean you, like, closed a deal?
Jan Levenson: Excuse me?
Kelly Kapoor: I mean, that's a baseball term, right?
Jan Levenson: I don't know what Michael was talking about.
Kelly Kapoor: I don't know. Like, you went to Chili's, and he got to second base with you.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack