Herschel Greenbaum: Life is difficult.
Ben Greenbaum: Can I get you something to drink? Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk. I got pea milk. They're milking peas now. They're milking everything these days, dude. You name it, they're milking it.
Herschel: How many pairs of shoes you own?
Ben: Um, like seven, maybe?
Herschel: Seven. How many sock?
Ben: I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks.
Herschel: Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five.
Ben: It's a lot of socks.
Herschel: Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock...
Herschel: Is this your father?
Ben: No, that's David Bowie.
Herschel: Is this your mother?
Ben: No, that's also David Bowie. That whole poster's David Bowie.
Herschel: How come in this whole place you have so many things, but no pictures of family?
Herschel: A magic rectangle. You make this?
Ben: No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though. But let me ask you this, before people buy something what's something they wish they knew?
Herschel: How long has meat been dead for?
Ben: Yeah, that. Also, they want to know whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical.
Herschel: They do?
Ben: Yes. They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." It's very popular.
Herschel: "Boop Bop"?
Ben: Boop Bop, yeah. It's called "Boop Bop."
Herschel: Why Boop Bop?
Ben: Um... You know, it's kinda just like the trend, I guess, these days to give apps, like, silly names. You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and...
Ben: I guess I understand why you're a religious person. That makes sense for someone from your era. But I am not... I'm not very religious.
Herschel: You do not know Mourner's Kaddish?
Ben: Not anymore, no.
Herschel: How do you grieve for dead parents if you do not say prayer for dead?
Ben: I'm doing okay.
Herschel: I do not understand. You were raised Jew.
Ben: Yeah.
Herschel: Are you not still Jew?
Ben: Technically. I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah... It's not like I was that religious in the first place. Also, like, organized religion is very regressive.
Herschel: You will take down vanilla vodka... or I will do violence.
Herschel: You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops.
Ben: You don't understand how much pressure there is on this stuff. Okay? I'm trying to make it perfect.
Herschel: Blue. Green. Red. Who cares? Pick a color!
Ben: Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo!
Herschel: Let me tell you something. In Schlupsk, we have saying... If man says he is going to throw punch, but he does not throw punch, it is because this man secretly has polio arm. This is you. You have polio arm. This your polio arm. Throw your punch! Do something, Ben! Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops. Blue, yellow, green! Who cares? Throw your punch!
Liam: Look, consider this an opportunity. I mean, there's tons of other ideas. How long did it take to come up with this?
Ben: Five years.
Liam: Five years. That's--
Ben: Long time.
Liam: Yeah, that's a while. Sorry to disappoint you, I guess. Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter if the founder's a bad person. Like a social media thing.
Christian: Herschel, we heard the terrible news.
Kevin: Yeah, what happened?
Herschel: I was shut down by evil woman. They tell me I have to "bring things up to code." I do not know how to do this all by myself.
Christian: You could scale up the business, right?.. Maybe hire some workers...
Herschel: Cannot afford workers.
Christian: You could get interns!
Herschel: "Interns"?
Christian: Yeah, they're unpaid workers.
Kevin: Unpaid workers.
Christian: Right. You compensate them in education and experience.
Herschel: Like slave?
Christian: No, no, no. That's not what I mean.
Kevin: That's a little bit of an oversimplification.
Christian: Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small, ethically conscious...
Herschel: If you do not realize you need Herschel, you are stupider than Polish person. And they are the stupidest.
Ben: Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk?
Herschel: Forest.
Ben: What's the difference?
Herschel: Wolves.
Ben: Oh, wow.
Herschel: Sarah loved to chase wolf. She would club them with stick, hit them with rock, kill them. Very good time.
Ben: She sounds pretty amazing. I wish I could have met her. Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't.
Ben: You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days. You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries.
Herschel: They pickle fruit these days?
Ben: Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot? Wait till you hear what they're pickling.
--
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Ben Greenbaum: Can I get you something to drink? Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk. I got pea milk. They're milking peas now. They're milking everything these days, dude. You name it, they're milking it.
Herschel: How many pairs of shoes you own?
Ben: Um, like seven, maybe?
Herschel: Seven. How many sock?
Ben: I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks.
Herschel: Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five.
Ben: It's a lot of socks.
Herschel: Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock...
Herschel: Is this your father?
Ben: No, that's David Bowie.
Herschel: Is this your mother?
Ben: No, that's also David Bowie. That whole poster's David Bowie.
Herschel: How come in this whole place you have so many things, but no pictures of family?
Herschel: A magic rectangle. You make this?
Ben: No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though. But let me ask you this, before people buy something what's something they wish they knew?
Herschel: How long has meat been dead for?
Ben: Yeah, that. Also, they want to know whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical.
Herschel: They do?
Ben: Yes. They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." It's very popular.
Herschel: "Boop Bop"?
Ben: Boop Bop, yeah. It's called "Boop Bop."
Herschel: Why Boop Bop?
Ben: Um... You know, it's kinda just like the trend, I guess, these days to give apps, like, silly names. You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and...
Ben: I guess I understand why you're a religious person. That makes sense for someone from your era. But I am not... I'm not very religious.
Herschel: You do not know Mourner's Kaddish?
Ben: Not anymore, no.
Herschel: How do you grieve for dead parents if you do not say prayer for dead?
Ben: I'm doing okay.
Herschel: I do not understand. You were raised Jew.
Ben: Yeah.
Herschel: Are you not still Jew?
Ben: Technically. I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah... It's not like I was that religious in the first place. Also, like, organized religion is very regressive.
Herschel: You will take down vanilla vodka... or I will do violence.
Herschel: You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops.
Ben: You don't understand how much pressure there is on this stuff. Okay? I'm trying to make it perfect.
Herschel: Blue. Green. Red. Who cares? Pick a color!
Ben: Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo!
Herschel: Let me tell you something. In Schlupsk, we have saying... If man says he is going to throw punch, but he does not throw punch, it is because this man secretly has polio arm. This is you. You have polio arm. This your polio arm. Throw your punch! Do something, Ben! Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops. Blue, yellow, green! Who cares? Throw your punch!
Liam: Look, consider this an opportunity. I mean, there's tons of other ideas. How long did it take to come up with this?
Ben: Five years.
Liam: Five years. That's--
Ben: Long time.
Liam: Yeah, that's a while. Sorry to disappoint you, I guess. Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter if the founder's a bad person. Like a social media thing.
Christian: Herschel, we heard the terrible news.
Kevin: Yeah, what happened?
Herschel: I was shut down by evil woman. They tell me I have to "bring things up to code." I do not know how to do this all by myself.
Christian: You could scale up the business, right?.. Maybe hire some workers...
Herschel: Cannot afford workers.
Christian: You could get interns!
Herschel: "Interns"?
Christian: Yeah, they're unpaid workers.
Kevin: Unpaid workers.
Christian: Right. You compensate them in education and experience.
Herschel: Like slave?
Christian: No, no, no. That's not what I mean.
Kevin: That's a little bit of an oversimplification.
Christian: Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small, ethically conscious...
Herschel: If you do not realize you need Herschel, you are stupider than Polish person. And they are the stupidest.
Ben: Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk?
Herschel: Forest.
Ben: What's the difference?
Herschel: Wolves.
Ben: Oh, wow.
Herschel: Sarah loved to chase wolf. She would club them with stick, hit them with rock, kill them. Very good time.
Ben: She sounds pretty amazing. I wish I could have met her. Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't.
Ben: You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days. You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries.
Herschel: They pickle fruit these days?
Ben: Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot? Wait till you hear what they're pickling.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
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