7 авг. 2013 г.

For the Sake of the Child

Two and a Half Men 7×5

& Alan: What are you doing?
    Jake: Driving.
    Alan: Both hands, 10 and 2.
    Jake: Twelve.
    Alan: No, no, like a clock. Ten and 2.
    Jake: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
    Alan: Put your left hand on the wheel.
    Jake: Fine...
    Charlie: You gotta like that he can add 10 and two.
    Alan: Yeah, and he did it in his head.

& Alan: I have to go to the bathroom.
    Charlie: You should’ve peed when he made that left turn, like I did.

& Charlie: Too far away.
    Alan: Ugh. Why don’t you wear your glasses?
    Charlie: I don’t need them.
    Jake: So why did your doctor prescribe them?
    Charlie: It’s a racket. I think they print those charts blurry then tell you it’s your eyes.

& Charlie: Why can’t you just sneak in candy like a normal cheapskate?
    Alan: Way ahead of you. Still got these left over from last Halloween.

& Alan: What the hell are you doing?
    Charlie: How am I supposed to have a rum and coke without the rum?


& Charlie: Boy, you really pissed him off.
    Alan: I pissed him off? What about you?
    Charlie: Hey, he likes me.
    Alan: Oh, please, nobody likes you. We only tolerate you because you have a lot of money.

& Charlie: Isn’t it past your bedtime?
    Alan: I don’t like to go to sleep angry.
    Charlie: Try drinking more.
    Alan: What will that solve?
    Charlie: Sobriety.

& Alan: Now your turn. Three things you admire about me.
    Charlie: Three? Really? All right. Uh... I like that you think I’m funny.
    Alan: Good one.
    Charlie: Still counts, right?
    Alan: Sure. Two to go.

& Alan: Name three things you would change about me.
    Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.
    Alan: Thank you.
    Charlie: Your voice, your face and again, your address.
    Alan: All right, heh. All right, all right.
    Charlie: Your haircut, your fruity little workbook and... your address!
    Alan: Just... Just needed three.
    Charlie: Oh, come on. We’re healing. Your cheapness, your smug arrogance and... your address!

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

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