Confrontation

Wilfred 3×9

“There can be no progress without
head-on confrontation.”
Christopher Hitchens

& Wilfred: I’ll just... mail my Christmas list to Santa. Want to hear what I’m asking for?
    Ryan: Sure.
    Wilfred: A Big Wheel, so I can drag Santa’s severed head through the streets of Venice. A Darth Vader action figure, so I can stick that plastic, tiny, little lightsaber into Santa’s urethra. A catcher’s mitt, so I can make cruel comparisons to Mrs. Claus’s vagina.
    Ryan: Why do you hate Santa so much?
    Wilfred: Santa is the mailman on steroids. I mean, this guy comes into your house— into your house— leaves packages covered with his scent, calls you “ho” three times. Keep in mind, this is a guy who has sex with reindeer.

& Catherine: Merry Christmas, poopy pants! Well, I know you’re all grown-up, but I will always think of you that way.

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& Kristen: I can get you a beer instead.
    Henry: I’m fine, pumpkin.
    Wilfred: Pumpkin? Okay, just so I understand, your dad nicknamed his daughter after the scent of her vagina? Cool!

& Ryan: Listen, I-I think it’s time someone told you the truth... Santa isn’t real.
    Wilfred: What? Because no one else can see him, that means he isn’t real?..

& Catherine: Well, this isn’t your drawing. You were a little more spontaneous than that. At least until your father stomped your imagination to death.
    Ryan: Then, who drew it?
    Catherine: Kristen.

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On the IMDb