Attack the Block

& Biggz: What the fuck was that?
    Pest: Some orang-utan type thing, I’m not even lying, bruv.
    Jerome: Hey, it’s breezin’, man. It looked like Dobby the house elf.
    Dennis: Moses got shanked by a Dobby.

& Elderly neighbor: What did the police say?
    Sam: Said it was one of the busiest nights of the year.
    Neighbor: Bet they don’t even turn up. Only it’s not like the kids are scared of ’em no more. Walking around with knives, great big dogs, like they own the block. Excuse my French, but they’re fucking monsters, ain’t they?
    Sam: Yeah. Fucking monsters.

& Dennis: Ah, she’s a nurse. They don’t get paid nothing, fam. Oi, Moses. Why you always picking the poor people, man?

& Gavin-’Probs’: Moses, let us roll with you. We’re bad boys.
    Jerome: Go away. This is big man business. You’re too tiny.
    Pest: Yeah, get in touch when you get your first pube.
    Probs: Go suck your mum.

& Brewis: No idea. Not a bloody clue...
    Ron: Maybe there was a party at the zoo and a monkey fucked a fish? ... Smells real though, don’t it? Smells like a shit did a shit.

& Ron: Oh, lovely fireworks.
    Dennis: Nah, mate, it’s a alien invasion.
    Ron: Course it is.

& Biggz: We gotta take them all out. Gotta catch them all.
    Pest: Calm down, Biggz, this ain’t Pokémon.

& Moses: Ain’t you gonna thank us for saving your life?
    Sam: My fucking hero.

& Moses: Yo, Hi-Hatz, it was a accident.
    Pest: Nah, trust, bruv. There’s bare creatures chasing us. Big alien-gorilla-wolf motherfuckers. I swear.

& Jerome: This is too much madness to fit into one text!

& Sam: We should call the police.
    Pest: You’d be better off calling the Ghostbusters, love.

& Ron: Even if it is an alien invasion, they’re four foot high, blind and got kicked to death by a bunch of kids. We got nothing to worry about.

---

& Sam: Whatever gang war you’re involved in, leave me out of it, please.
    Dennis: Hey, this ain’t got nothin’ to do with gangs.
    Pest: Or drugs. Or rap music. Or violence in video games.
    Sam: This is the worst night of my life.
    Moses: Feeling’s mutual.

& Dennis: Moses. Ninja!
    Jerome: Tango neutralized.

& Pest: See? Is that a dog?
    Sam: No.
    Pest: No, that is not a dog.
    Jerome: That’s black. Too black to see.
    Dennis: That’s the blackest black ever, fam. That’s blacker than my cousin Femi.

& Pest: This ain’t London-wide. This is localised.
    Margaret: Yeah, localised in your head.
    Tia: Localized in your dreams.
    Dimples: Drapsed by the feds? Yes. Big gorilla-alien-wolf monsters killing everyone? Uh-uh.
    Jerome: Maybe they only fell on these ends.
    Dimples: Please! What kind of alien, out of all the places in the whole wide world, would invade some shitty council estate in South London?

& Tia: How d’you know that woman?
    Moses: We met earlier.
    Sam: He mugged me.
    Dimples: Whey! For real? That part I believe.
    Tia: That true? You rob that woman?
    Pest: Yeah. But afterwards she fixed my leg and we saved her from the monster. So... we’re mates now and it’s all sweet. We’re heroes, innit?
    Sam: Heroes? Five of you and a knife against one woman? Fuck off!
    Pest: Raah. Cold.
    Dennis: Nah, nah, nah, don’t build it up, luv. It weren’t all that. We never even touched you.
    Jerome: The blade was to get it over with quick. We was as scared as you.

& Hi-Hatz: Better get the next one, blood.

& Sam: What’s Ron’s weed room?
    Brewis: It’s a big room full of weed. And it’s Ron’s. It’s good. It’s like Fort fucking Knox up there.
    Pest: Plan.

& Hi-Hatz: This is my block! Get me?
    Moses: Not really.

& Pest: Bare weed and no skins. This is my worst nightmare.

& Pest: Have you got a boyfriend?
    Sam: Yeah.
    Pest: Are you sure about him? Where is he? Cos he ain’t exactly looking after you tonight.
    Sam: He’s in Ghana.
    Pest: You go out with an African man?
    Sam: No, he’s helping children. He volunteers for the Red Cross.
    Pest: Oh, is it? Why can’t he help the children of Britain? Not exotic enough, is it? Don’t get no nice suntan. Raah.

& ’Mayhem’: What if it jumps at us?
    Probs: Then throw the banger.
    Mayhem: What if I miss?
    Probs: Then we run.
    Mayhem: What if it kills us?
    Probs: No one is gonna ever call you Mayhem if you keep on acting like such a pussy.

& Sam: Good luck, Moses.
    Pest: Moses versus the monsters. Kill ’em. Kill all them things.
    Moses: Allow it.

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