The One with All the Cheesecakes

Friends 7×11

Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there's a possibility for sex.

Phoebe: Okay, I can't just be a way to kill time till you meet someone better. You know, boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life.
Joey: Wow. I'm so sorry. I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Phoebe: It does.
Joey: Okay, can I make it up to you? Huh? I'm sorry. How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll pay for myself.
Phoebe: Okay, you wore me down.

Rachel: Are you serious? Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago... and you want more?
Chandler: Well, I've forgotten what it tastes like, okay?
Rachel: It was cheesecake. It was fine. It had a buttery, crumbly, graham-cracker crust... with a very rich... yet light cream-cheese filling. Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva. Ahem.

Rachel: Oh, my God, that is so good. I'm full. And yet I know if I stop eating this... I'll regret it.

Monica: I'm a relative and I didn't get invited, okay? A blood relative. Blood!
Ross: Stop saying "blood" to strangers.

Chandler: How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Rachel: What are you gonna do? Gonna run and tell Monica or Joey? No, you'd have to tell them what we did. We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.

Ross: Every time, on the lips!

—
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Виктор Пелевин — Гольденштерн все (2/5)

<< Начало

&  Маня избегала кукухотерапевтов. Все знали, что с ними лучше не связываться, поскольку они тоже люди, хотят выжить в сложное время, и не просто выжить, а выжить хорошо – и сразу найдут у любого кучу дорогостоящих расстройств, синдромов и болезней. Не зря слова «врач» и «врать» так похожи.

&  – Зачем ему это?
     – Он хочет, чтобы мы не просто на него работали. А для него жили. Вернее, он хочет заново жить через нас.

&  – Корпоративные философы видят в этом удивительную симметрию, даже красоту. Мозг устремился к бессмертию, покинув тело, а тело, освобожденное от идентичности, стало простым хозяйственным инструментом… Впрочем, философы за еду все что угодно наплетут. Знаете лучшую формулировку основного вопроса философии за последние пятьсот лет? «Как вписаться в водевиль…»

&  Понимание прошлого меняется чаще, чем женская мода – и становится настолько же обязательным.

&  – История человечества вообще страшна, – возвещал коуч, – но история России – так называлось прежде Доброе Государство – горька особенно… Это, наверное, единственная великая страна, центр тяжести которой все время лежал за ее пределами. Во всяком случае, в культурном и духовном смысле. Сейчас я поясню. Смотрите на экран… Русский национальный поэт и создатель нашего с вами литературного языка, вот этот самый смуглый человек с бакенбардами, написал когда-то по-французски другому русскому человеку, что правительство в России – единственный европеец… Как это понимать?
     Коуч предлагал понимать так: Россия под руководством единственных европейцев всю свою историю занималась совершенно не нужными ее обитателям делами, плоды которых пожинали другие страны и народы. Как деревенский идиот, которого зовут с улицы в приличный дом помахаться в общей драке, а потом снова выставляют на мороз.
     Что такое была история Добросуда на быстрой перемотке? Садомазохистический роман с доисламской Европой.
     Строить Северную Пальмиру (метко выбрали словечко, ...) – а зачем? Назло интеллигентным шведам, чтобы зауважали при французском дворе… И пошло-поехало: помогать Европе решать династические вопросы и делить колонии; воплощать передовые учения из немецких пивных и французских университетов; возводить Красную Утопию в надежде на придуманную немцами мировую революцию – чтобы потом из последних сил отбиваться от их же солнечных ликвидаторов на амфетаминах, а отбившись чудовищной кровью, продать окропленную ею империю на металлолом, чтобы начать строительство новой, близкой по духу, но слабее в десять раз, и все из тех же самых кабинетов…
     Такие трехмерные многоходовочки со средним счетом в пять русских жизней за одну собачью. Начальство – щедрая душа. Главное, мудрая необычайно. А двусмысленный глагол «заложить» – самая суть родной истории.
     Потом наступила эпоха вирусных эпидемий, гражданских и карбоновых войн, гуманного евроислама и искусственного интеллекта, ...

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The Nest (2020)

Rory O'Hara: They want to vilify deregulation and privatization, but it's gonna show the ordinary person how to expect more, how to want more, how to be their own boss. In America, everyone believes they can be anything. Here, you're supposed to settle for the station you're born into. This country needs to move with the times.
Arthur Davis: And that is why we've brought him in. Ruthless vision for the future.

Arthur Davis: We take the good with the bad when we marry. Although I think that's all changing. People seem to want everything from their husbands and wives, and expect every need to be fulfilled. Maybe that's why there's so much divorce. Too much expectation.
Allison O'Hara: Well, I hope you're wrong. I think people should want it all.
Arthur Davis: Looking closer, you are young enough to still be an idealist, but only just.

Arthur Davis: I've known you a long time you little bastard. So I'm gonna be honest with you. You have a great mind, and endless charm, but you don't pay attention to the detail. I thought you'd changed, but you haven't. Oh, you know how to ride a wave in an up market. Well that doesn't impress. What impresses me, is how you deal with a down market, because that's how you build a successful company. You focus on the one percent at a time. It's boring and it's ugly. But it's the bit of the business I love the most.
Rory O'Hara: There won't be any business, there won't be any company. We'll be finished within a year.
Arthur Davis: And we can have all the information in the world, and still be wrong.

Taxi Driver: Big night then?
Rory O'Hara: No, not really. Just been working too hard.
Taxi Driver: What line of work you in?
Rory O'Hara: ..... I pretend I'm rich.
Taxi Driver: Why do you pretend?
Rory O'Hara: I don't know.

Rory O'Hara: I had a million dollars once. I was living in New York City. I had one million dollars in the bank. I thought it'd just keep coming. I thought that was it, I was rich for the rest of my life. And then, over time it just, it went. Now I have nothing.
Taxi Driver: You have kids?
Rory O'Hara: Yeah I do, two.
Taxi Driver: What are you going on about then? That's all that matters. Everything else is nonsense. It's the only reason we're put on this Earth... Well, that and football.

Taxi Driver: You a good dad?
Rory O'Hara: Yeah, I'm the best. I keep a roof over their head, I give them the best of everything, and I've never laid a hand on them, never would.
Taxi Driver: That's the bare minimum mate, don't pat yourself on the back for that.
Rory O'Hara: Well that's more than I ever fucking had!
Taxi Driver: We have to give our kids more than we had, that's it, that's life. Sort yourself out mate, get a job. Make a wage, you'll be all right.
Rory O'Hara: I want more than that, thanks.
Taxi Driver: What do you want then, mate?
Rory O'Hara: .... I don't actually know. I don't know. I don't fucking know.

—
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El final del camino

Money Heist 5×1

Rafael: Well, it's not like our relationship has been ideal, Dad.
Berlín: Yes, but I forgive you.
Rafael: You forgave me, for what?!
Berlín: For being born. Your mother and I had an incredible relationship. Exceptional woman. And you stood in the way of our happiness. I wanted to take her to dinners, go traveling, make love to her in the most beautiful places in the world. And then you showed up and ruined it all. You were like a nuclear warhead. You completely destroyed our dreams.

Berlín: My love, the things that actually matter in life always come unexpectedly.

El Profesor: It's not the first time someone's threatened to shoot me.

Berlín: You want a boring life with schedules, meetings, emails, with those endless shifts that will completely exhaust your energy? Then give you a month-long holiday so you can get a glimpse of some freedom?
Rafael: You're gonna want a glimpse of freedom when you go to prison! In my job, you don't get killed or go to jail.
Berlín: Death is simply just a word, a priori. It comprises everything that doesn't exist. On the other hand, once you're dead, you won't remember you were alive.

Berlín: The things that are really important in life, Rafael, have a high price. Rebellion. Liberty. Ideals.

Alicia: Do you have any last words, Professor?
El Profesor: I'm sorry, Raquel. I'm really sorry, Rio. I'm so sorry, Palermo. I'm really sorry, Helsinki. I'm sorry, Manila. I'm sorry, Bogotá. I'm really sorry, Stockholm. I'm sorry, Denver. I'm really sorry, Tokyo. I'm really so sorry.

—
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Виктор Пелевин — Гольденштерн все

TRANSHUMANISM INC

  “Недалеко от фермы, где Маня встречала новый 206 год Green Power, затаилась в лесу старая шахта. ...

&  Все течет, все меняется и остается таким, как было.

&  Дважды войти в одну реку нельзя, а вот состариться и подохнуть на ее берегу без особого труда удается любому – и не надо даже особо вникать, тот это берег или нет.

&  Ведь был в букваре стишок: как резать правду-матку? А не играй с правдой в прятки. Не режь фигурно, не режь фактурно, а излагай прямо, как папа и мама. Или, если сказать взрослой прозой, система восторженного визга не понимает…

&  Как говорили на Истории Искусств, самое неловкое в дворянской захудалости – ее претенциозность.

&  В революцию плыли все. Человечество уходило от карбона, эмиссий, отходов, перепроизводства, перенаселения, инфекций. Цивилизация ужималась, становясь простой и экологичной; человек возвращался к природе, от которой так самонадеянно отпочковался – но уже со встроенным в голову социальным имплантом. Когда Маня слышала слова «зеленая революция» (иногда говорили «эколюция»), на ее глазах сами собой выступали слезы радости и она чувствовала приятное стеснение в груди.
     По этому легчайшему стеснению, кстати, можно было отслеживать эмоции, в которых поучаствовал имплант.

&  Разница была в том, что насчет живых крэперов сомнения еще возникали, а насчет баночных – уже нет. С этой разницы русский крэпер и жил: жирел, старился и копил понемногу на маленький плот в вечность.

&  Шанс для простого человека все-таки был.
     Другое дело, что рулетка была разборчивее, чем принято думать. Но кто ж не в курсе, что заведение не мечет костей перед свиньями. Вернее, мечет, конечно – но только специальные свинские кости, которые всегда падают как надо.

&  В конце концов, для социальной гармонии важно не только дать людям надежду. Еще важнее у всех на глазах кого-то ее лишить.

&  За [Шекспира] в любом случае не обижались... «Гамлета» ведь не уничтожили, а поменяли в тексте пару знаков. Кому, в конце концов, так уж важно, как именно звали какого-то выдуманного плохого парня, когда на театральной сцене этим шекспировским парням уже много столетий меняют и гендер, и ориентацию, и цвет кожи в любых возможных комбинациях. Да и в невозможных тоже.

&  Но Гольденштерн был нормальным прогрессивным парнем, не дурил, и мировая общественность смотрела на происходящее спокойно. Ведь что такое мировая общественность? Совокупность электрических разрядов в сети. А сеть сами знаете чья.

&  История, в конце концов – это просто назначенное людям прошлое. Оно бывает сегодняшнее, бывает вчерашнее, будет и завтрашнее. А жить, как учат нас сетевые гуру, следует исключительно в моменте, и рыпаться из него не надо, потому что он крайне узок, и места на всех может не хватить.

&  Так что никакого Гольденштерна в реальности не было.
     Просто потому, что так захотел сам Гольденштерн, а реальность в наше время – это платформа, находящаяся в частной собственности, и если вам что-то не нравится, вас никто не заставляет держать здесь свой аккаунт.

&  Ну а с окнами всегда возникает два вопроса – куда они выходят и как при этом выглядят. Стекла теперь что надо. А вот насчет того, куда они выходят…

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Downton Abbey 3×1

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: The family must never be a topic of conversation.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: I'm afraid Sybil's already made the Crawleys a permanent topic.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: All the more reason. If we can show the county he can behave normally, they will soon lose interest in him. And I shall make sure he behaves normally but he strikes me as a very interesting addition to the family.
Isobel Crawley: Oh, here we go. And why should he be normal as you call it? I say he should come here and fight his corner. I like a man of strong beliefs.

Anna Bates: Just remember what my mother used to say. Never make an enemy by accident.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her I'm reminded of the virtues of the English.
Matthew Crawley: But isn't she American?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Exactly.

Matthew Crawley: I sometimes think it's time we lived in a simpler way.
Isobel Crawley: I agree. Much cattle, much care.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Always supposing we have the choice.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, don't say that. It's our job to provide employment. An aristocrat with no servants is as much use to the county as a glass hammer!

Thomas Barrow: I'm sorry. I won't. And that's flat.
Mrs. Hughes: Then you'll have to do it, Mr Carson.
Mr. Carson: I'm not dressing a chauffeur.
Mrs. Hughes: He is not a chauffeur now. Anyway, you don't have to dress him, just see he's got everything he needs.
Mr. Carson: I'm not often as one with Mr Barrow, but no.
Mrs. Hughes: Then Alfred must do it.
Mr. Carson: Alfred? He wouldn't know what to do beyond collecting dirty shoes.
Mrs. Hughes: Well, he'll have to learn.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Is it an Irish tradition?
Tom Branson: What?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: She means not changing.
Lady Sybil Crawley: Of course it isn't, Granny.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: It might have been. You don't change on the first night of a voyage...

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Has some of my fortune been lost?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Some... All. Almost all.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Oh, my dear. How terrible for you.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: It's not so good for you.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Don't worry about me. I'm an American. Have gun, will travel.

Matthew Crawley: You don't make it easy for them. Do you really think you can recruit cousin Robert for Sinn Fein?
Tom Branson: I don't know what gets into me. I can see them staring and I know they don't want me here.
Matthew Crawley: Well, don't include me. Or Mary.
Tom Branson: She wasn't too keen on the idea of a chauffeur for a brother-in-law.
Matthew Crawley: Forget that. She's a pragmatist. She could be a tough fighter, too. Let's hope she's not tested. Forget this and walk back. We're brothers-in-law with high-minded wives. We'd better stick together.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Tom has been the victim of a cruel prank which I know you'll all be kind enough to forget.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Forgive, perhaps. Forget? Never.

Tom Branson: That's very kind, ladies. But I don't approve of these costumes. I see them as the uniform of oppression and I should be uncomfortable wearing them.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Have you quite finished?
Tom Branson: I have.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Good. Please take off your coat. Molesley, do help him.

Martha Levinson: Do explain again how exactly you are related to all of us, Mr Crawley.
Matthew Crawley: Rather distantly, I'm afraid. My great-great-grandfather was a younger son of a third earl.
Martha Levinson: My. I'm going to have to write that down, so I can study it.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Look at our page in Burke's. You'll find Matthew there.
Martha Levinson: Good. Because I would so like to understand why he gets to inherit my late husband's money.
Matthew Crawley: I know. It's funny, isn't it?
Martha Levinson: Not everyone shares your sense of humour.

Martha Levinson: Has he gone home to change?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, no, we won't see him again tonight. The groom never sees the bride the night before the wedding.
Martha Levinson: Nothing ever alters for you people, does it? Revolutions erupt and monarchies crash to the ground and the groom still cannot see the bride before the wedding.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You Americans never understand the importance of tradition.
Martha Levinson: Yes, we do. We just don't give it power over us. History and tradition took Europe into a world war. Maybe you should think about letting go of its hand.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: She is like a homing pigeon. She finds our underbelly every time. Dreadful woman.

Lady Mary Crawley: That's the point. He puts himself above the rest of us. Don't you see?
Anna Bates: What I see is a good man, my lady. And they're not like buses. There won't be another one along in ten minutes' time.

Matthew Crawley: I would never be happy with anyone else as long as you walked the earth.

—
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The One with the Holiday Armadillo

Friends 7×10

Monica: Skull?
Phoebe: Oh. Yeah, it's my mom's.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not my mom. It belonged to my mom. She used to put it out every Christmas... to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And you can put candy in it.

Ross: I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Monica: That's great! Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Ross: Nope. I know Susan does every year. I want to take this year to teach him about Hanukkah. And maybe I could teach Ben... about the Christmas skull and how people die.
Chandler: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.

Chandler: You know what I was thinking? When we get married, will you, uh... change your name to "Bing"?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Why not?!
Monica: Bing's weird.

Chandler: You could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Joey: What is rock 'n' roll about that?

Phoebe: Wow. Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here.
Monica: Come on, come on. We're lighting the candles.
Phoebe: Oh, oh. I understand why Superman is here... but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?

—
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Implosion

Billions 5×9

Bobby Axelrod: Get me to see Taleb. Gotta make sure this thing's a real black swan event.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': High priest. There's no profit at the end of this call sheet. No money to be made. My one job is to help you do your job. And right now...

Mike Wagner 'Wags': Can I talk to you like you talk to me? I'm gonna talk to you like you talk to me.
Bobby Axelrod: This is to what? Refocus my lens?
Mike Wagner 'Wags': That it is. ..... What I'm really searching for is a pattern in the madness. But all I'm seein' is the madness.
Bobby Axelrod: Hmm. The reason I can talk like that... Well, there are myriad reasons, none of which you'd understand. As you don't understand why my moves right now are the very acme of sanity. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Now do my bidding. And get me Taleb. Let's go.

Mike Prince: A second-tier event might as well not exist. Cancel it.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': But Prince is done. He's bled out. And you're calling in favors for what? So you can fuck a dead guy's skull? Michael Douglas only talked about it in The Bible. He didn't do it. Besides, skullfuckery is not even fun to watch... Okay. That part is a lie.
Bobby Axelrod: He's not dead till I say he's dead.

Chuck Rhoades: My mistake doesn't have to snowball into our mistake.
Mr. Moody: There's no legal basis for this...
Chuck Rhoades: No. It would be a favor.
Kate Sacker: Which we tend to repay.
Chuck Rhoades: No, not tend to. Always will, and always have. Favors are not asked lightly and will not be ignored.

Mr. Moody: You think this is the state that Pierre Samuel du Pont de Nemours built, with the cousin marrying and the wrestler murdering and all that French aristocracy nonsense? The glass shards on top of the wall, keep the lesser family out? No. This is the state that was built on corporations getting what they need, which is freedom from the yoke of tax burden.

Mr. Moody: I don't believe corporations are people. They're better than people, because they don't fuck up when they get so obsessed with one thing they can't see reality. So no, I'm not gonna participate in your agenda, while mine is part of a bigger economy... But do consider shopping for some tax-free, high-end electronics before you go.

Mike Prince: But who do you want in your corner? Someone who's never put money before humanity? Or do you want someone who knows the cost of putting humanity aside, and how it'll break you?

Mike Prince: Perfect people don't exist. But flawed people... who have taken a walk through their own wounded psyche, reforged themselves and come out stronger? We're the great hope for the species.

Mike Prince: It's your money. You can take it right now, and you could walk out this door. Leave while I'm down. .... But power is atomic. And eventually, this moment, this moment where one electron is slightly out of whack, will end, the world will right itself again. I'll be on top again. And the curious thing is that I will have forgotten your name. I don't believe in enemies. It's not that I don't have them, it's that when you become my enemy, my next move, my only move, is to continue to rise. While you will eddy. Sink. Not by my hand but by your lack of connection to me.
     So walk out with your money. It's yours. But you won't be done with me. As the song goes: "On every wall in place my fearsome name will be heard. I'm the atomic punk." I will remain so. And you, Matt, will simply evaporate.

Mike Prince: I'm not doing that again.
Roger 'Scooter' Dunbar: The save or the beat down? Because it was gorgeous.

Kate Sacker: I need to know: what is the plan, or the next move in the plan, or the next step in the move of the plan?

Chuck Rhoades: No, Moody is right. I made this shit soup, and now I have to sip it.
Kate Sacker: Fine. You want to act existential, does not mean that I have to.
Chuck Rhoades: No act. No, this right here, is what my alienist would call Anhedonia. The kind of paralysis that can only come when every move you make hurts. Wendy's gone. Her successor, also gone. Meanwhile, my enemies thrive.
Kate Sacker: If we can pause with the Freudian analysis...
Chuck Rhoades: Ribot came up with the concept. Freud got all the glory. So the least we can do is give ol' Theodule his credit where it's due.
Kate Sacker: Okay, back from Europe to here in NYC....

Mike Prince: I want a path back to goodness. A way to be a force for good again.
Brenda Fells: Yeah, I know you do, Michael.
Mike Prince: You do?
Brenda Fells: Yeah. But I can't be the subject of that, or the object, or the road map. I mean, I can point you in the right direction... Stop ruining good people because you think you're better than them. You're not better than anyone.

Roger 'Scooter' Dunbar: We can't take a billion dollar plus loss so you can assuage your guilt over something you can't go back and change.
Mike Prince: Right now, this company is the house built on a Native American burial ground. It doesn't matter how good the house is. We have to start from scratch.

Bobby Axelrod: There's no such thing as bad fucking luck, not when money's involved.

Ben Kim: Okay, this is a satellite snapshot of every ship at sea, updated every 20 minutes.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': So where the fuck are our pizzas?
Ben Kim: Forty-four degrees, 32 minutes, 23.8 seconds North by 25 degrees, seven minutes, 51.6 seconds West-- North Atlantic Ocean-- The ship carrying your pizzas broke down two hours ago.

Chuck Rhoades: Some would argue that by virtue of just how much money you have, you have by definition done much wrong.
Mike Prince: So because I'm so rich, I'm inherently guilty?
Chuck Rhoades: It's what I built a good chunk of my career on. Probably what drove me to that career. But I do believe you just said it better than I did.
Mike Prince: Wealth is always going to exist. Power along with it. People are so consumed with the idea that money buys freedom that they can't demand better of the powerful... or themselves. As soon as they gain some power of their own, they forget about better and just want to be rich. So the powerful have to demand it of ourselves. That's what I was trying to do. I can't save the world, but I was gonna leave it a lot better than I found it.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': I have been charged with delivering your pizza empire, so to speak, and deliver it I fucking will, on time.
Paul 'Manz' Manzarello: How?
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Now tell me. Why Italy?
Paul 'Manz' Manzarello: The ovens.

Bobby Axelrod: Ten million to not let Mike Prince win a round? Consider the money spent.

Chuck Rhoades: Okay, we're in.
Mike Prince: ... You knew. When you told me to blow, you knew I'd come back with something. I've seen Cop Land.
Chuck Rhoades: Did I? I thought I meant it at the time. But we're here now...

Mike Prince: Yeah, we'll need someone who's served on a bank board. Someone who's known for being tough on the institutions they're a board member of, not a yes man. Someone who won't care if they get booted a few months in due to politics. Someone who will go down swinging.
Chuck Rhoades: Oh, I have just the guy...

Chuck Rhoades: Positive reinforcement never has been your raison d'être. No, you love power via destruction, a motivation you have handed down to me.... The chance to be in the game, to fuck with someone else's power and take it for yourself, you can't deny that would feel good.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': Nothing is hard to believe if you have the will to make it happen.

Bobby Axelrod: Do we get to see a shortlist?... That is a short fucking list.
Mr. Moody: Charles Rhoades Senior has been selected and approved.

Bobby Axelrod: We'll appeal this decision. I'll sue you.
Mr. Moody: Oh, I imagine you will. Well, I guess I will see you across a courtroom to hash this out... in 18 months to two years, when the case finally comes up for trial. In the meantime, please see that Mr. Rhoades is welcome. Gentlemen.

Dr. Swerdlow: Nice fucking job getting him up the list. One month from now, these hospitals, they're gonna be overrun with that damn Chinese bug.

Chuck Rhoades: Axe delivered my father something that at this moment transcends even my familial bond. He gave him life. And so he became the son I couldn't be... My father is owned by him now.

Mike Prince: When he wants something, he's blind to everything else.

Mike Prince: I'm the bait, and the bank is the trap.

Taylor Mason: How are we taking down Bobby Axelrod?

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

You Say You Want a Revolution

Atypical 4×3

Paige: How? When? To do what?
Sam: How? I'm not sure. When? As soon as possible. To do what? Also not sure.

Doug: Can we please just spend the next 50 years or so having a nice, boring life?
Elsa: Yes, boring. I would love that.
Doug: Library trips... leaf collecting, anything redundant... monotonous--
Sam: I'm dropping out of school and going to Antarctica.

Doug: Wh... What do we make of this?
Elsa: I think we let it play out. Big ideas like this tend to go away on their own. I mean, why be the naysayers when time and logistics can do it for us?
Doug: That's good. I like that. A swift kick in the ass from life. You're devious.

Sam: Stay still.
Noelle: I can't. It's impossible. I'm a human.
Sam: Stop talking.
Noelle: I can't. It's impossible. I'm chatty.

Penelope: You know, people will buy anything if you market it properly. We're basically just highly evolved fish, you know? We like the sparklies.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Stillwater (2021)

Virginie: That's it. Kalliste. That's where she says Akim lives.
Bill Baker: Well, can we go look around?
Virginie: No. Not at this time. It's not safe for us.
Bill Baker: 'Cause we're white?
Virginie: 'Cause we're not from there.

Renaud: Seriously, for me, it makes total sense. People should be able to carry guns. You know, but they got freedom. It's basic freedom. I would love to have a gun. I'm sure you have a gun. Don't you, Bill?
Bill Baker: Yes, sir, I do.
Renaud: Yes!
Virginie: No, you do not.
Bill Baker: Why wouldn't I? I got two of them. I got a shotgun and a Glock.
Virginie: Oh, non, putain. C'est pas--
Renaud: Two guns! It's perfect!
Virginie: Non, non!
Renaud: It's okay. It's okay. It's-it's his... His-his... his culture.
Virginie: Culture.
Renaud: Culture is such a broad concept, huh?

Maya: You're my favorite.
Bill Baker: Favorite what?
Maya: Favorite American.

Maître Leparq: In fact, the judge has already agreed to reopen the investigation, which is almost unheard of. I think this could only happen in Marseille.

Allison Baker: I learned something new actually. It's helped me a lot. It's something called the "Mektub." ... It's about acceptance.
Bill Baker: Acceptance of what?
Allison Baker: Your fate. It's helping me to stop struggling so much. Stop questioning everything. You just embrace your fate and learn to live in peace with it. It's a Muslim idea. It's about... letting go of all of that... shame... and guilt that pushes you down and keeps you down and makes you feel so powerless.

Allison Baker: It doesn't matter that I'm innocent, Dad. It's not about justice. It's about finding peace.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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The One with All the Candy

Friends 7×9

Chandler: Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there.
Ben: Thanks, Daddy.
Ross: No, no. One daddy, two mommies.

Ross: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
Phoebe: No. But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. So I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard.
Monica: That is so unfair.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too.

Rachel: We stayed up all night coming up with a plan... so that us dating will not be a problem.
Monica: Oh, yeah? What's the plan?
Rachel: We... We are not... going to let it... be a problem.
Monica: Wow. It took you all night to come up with that plan?
Rachel: Oh, well, you know, we did other stuff too...

Rachel: Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe they didn't take it the way I meant it.
Chandler: Absolutely, you know? Because "tushy" can mean both ass... and good worker.

Tag Jones: I have a weird sense of humor. And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Christmas at Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey 2×9

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Lawyers are always confident before the verdict. It's only afterwards they share their doubts.

Daisy Robinson: Don't you believe in spirits, then?
Mrs. Hughes: Well, I don't believe they play board games.

Sir Richard Carlisle: Do you always play charades on Christmas night?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: This isn't charades, this is the game.
Sir Richard Carlisle: Do you enjoy these games in which the player must appear ridiculous?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Sir Richard, life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous.
Sir Richard Carlisle: Not in my life. ....
Lady Mary Crawley: Richard, your turn. Come on.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: How soon your maxim will be tested...

John Bates: Anna, you must prepare for the worst. I'm not saying it will happen, but you must prepare for it.
Anna Bates: I know it could happen. I do. But the time to face it is after it has happened. And not before.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I wondered why she didn't ask to come for Christmas.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Would you have allowed it?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Well, well. So we're to have a Fenian grandchild.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Cheer up. Come the revolution, it may be useful to have a contact on the other side.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Happy new year, Mama.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: 1920! Is it to be believed?! I feel as old as Methuselah!
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: But so much prettier.

Lord Hepworth: You'll concede there are many varieties of happy marriage.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Maybe. But they are all based on honesty.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Do you recall a Turkish diplomat who stayed here before the war?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I think I can be relied on to remember any guest who is found dead in his bed next morning.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Well, that's the thing...

Lady Mary Crawley: Wherever I go, the time we shared is over.

Sir Richard Carlisle: I'm leaving in the morning, Lady Grantham. I doubt we'll meet again.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Do you promise?

Thomas Barrow: My Ladyship, may I have the honor of this dance?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, it is a waltz. I'm far too old for that awful foxtrot.
Thomas Barrow: What about the black bottom, my Lady?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Just keep me upright. Then we'll try to avoid it.

Matthew Crawley: I haven't forgiven you because... I don't believe you need my forgiveness. You've lived your life and I've lived mine. And now it's time we lived them together.

Lady Mary Crawley: You must say it properly. I won't answer unless you... kneel down and everything!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Out of the Ashes

The Walking Dead 11×5

Eugene: "Eugene Porter. Work Detail... high-school teaching pool. Boarding Detail... Bungalow 13, Sector 1..."

Eugene: Wait. What jobs did you guys get?
Juanita: I-I was just curious 'cause they gave me "retail clerk." Made me wonder if they have a mall here, 'cause that'd be frickin' amazing. I used to love working in the mall.
Ezekiel: They put me in animal control. I imagine all of these are based on jobs from before the fall.

Negan: You know the only way this works is if we trust each other.
Maggie: Why would I ever trust you?
Negan: I don't know, Maggie. 'Cause you want to stay alive, same as me.
Maggie: If I stay alive, it'll be in spite of you, not because of you.
Negan: Jesus. You know, if... if that's how you feel, I don't understand why you haven't put me down yet-- Shit!
Maggie: ... I ask myself that question every day.

Negan: How long?
Maggie: How long would you want someone to wait for you?

Negan: Maggie, you need to know when to cut your losses.

Eugene: If you don't mind me saying, this place has all kinds of creature comforts I never knew how much I missed. I'm an interesting creature, so this is a fine day for me.

Yumiko: Look, just tell me one thing. Is this place really as good as it seems?
Tomi: Better.
Yumiko: So if I wanted to get help for people, I could do that here?
Tomi: Anything's possible, as long as you follow the rules. Want some cake?

Carol: Everything that I do, I carry that.

—
On the IMDb

Downton Abbey 2×8

Anna Smith: Lady Mary's right. It's a big thing, to give up your whole world.
Lady Mary Crawley: Thank you. Listen to her if you won't listen to me. I'm not giving up my world!
Lady Sybil Crawley: If they give me up, that's their affair! I'm perfectly happy to carry on being friends with everyone.
Lady Mary Crawley: Married to the chauffer?
Lady Sybil Crawley: Yes. Anyway, he's a journalist now, which sounds better for granny.

Lady Sybil Crawley: It's not such a good idea. We mustn't worry granny.
Branson: You asked me to come and I've come.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Would someone please tell me what is going on or have we all stepped through the looking glass?
Branson: Your grandmother has as much right to know as anybody else.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why don't I find that reassuring?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What on Earth is it?
Lavinia Swire: A gramophone. Some cousins of mine have given it.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You should stand well clear when you light the blue touch paper.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Don't worry. Your turn will come.
Lady Edith Crawley: Will it? Or am I just to be the maiden aunt? Isn't this what they do? Arrange presents for their pretty relations?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Don't be defeatist, dear, it's very middle class.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I do hope I'm interrupting something.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Now, Sybil, dear, this sort of thing is all very well in novels, but in reality, it can prove very uncomfortable and while I am sure Branson has many virtues... No, no, he's a good driver.
Lady Sybil Crawley: I will not give him up!
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Don't be rude to your grandmother.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No, she's not being rude. Just wrong.

Anna Smith: Mr Carson likes to serve two white wines which you should open and decant just before they eat. A light one for the hors d'oeuvres, a heavy one with the soup. Keep that going for the fish then change to claret which you need to decant now. There's a pudding wine and, after that, whatever they want in the drawing room with their coffee.
Joseph Molesley: It's a wonder they make it upstairs.
Anna Smith: They don't drink much of any of it. Let me show you the decanters. These four...

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Wasn't there a masked ball in Paris when cholera broke out? Half the guests were dead before they left the ballroom.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Thank you, Mama. That's cheered us up no end.

Major Clarkson: You don't need to worry about Mosley. He'll be fine in the morning. The others have Spanish flu. He's just drunk.

Mrs. Patmore: You never know people, do you. You can work with them for 20 years, you don't know them at all.

Horace Bryant: Ethel, consider this. In the world as it is, compare the two futures. The first, as my heir. Educated, privileged, rich. Able to do what he wants, marry whom he likes. The second, as the bastard son--
Mrs. Hughes: I think we've heard enough of that word for one day!
Horace Bryant: Very well. As the nameless offshoot of a drudge, you're his mother. Which would you choose for him?

Major Clarkson: It's bad, I'm afraid. Very bad. The worst.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I don't understand. When I was with her, she was fine.
Major Clarkson: It's a strange disease with sudden, savage changes.

Jane Moorsum: I'm not sure...
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: It would make me very happy.
Jane Moorsum: If I thought that, then I'd take it, gladly. Will you be happy? Really?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I have no right to be unhappy, which is almost the same.
Jane Moorsum: Almost. Not quite.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Well, if I can't stop you, I see no profit in a quarrel. You'll have a very different life from the one you might have lived, but if you're sure it's what you want?
Lady Sybil Crawley: I am.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Then you may take my blessing with you, whatever that means.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So, you've given in?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: She would have gone anyway. .... You'll think that's soft?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Not at all. The aristocracy has not survived by its intransigence. No, we must work with what we've got to minimise the scandal.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: But what have we got to work with?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You'd be surprised. He's political, isn't he? And a writer. I could make something out of that. And there's a family called Branson with a place not far from Cork. I believe they have a connection with the Howards. Surely we can hitch him onto them?...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs

Friends 7×8

Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys... but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well-educated adults... and Joey, can't name all the states. You ever see a map or one of those round colorful things called a globe?
Chandler: .... Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states.
Ross: What? That's impossible!
Joey: Well, who's well-educated now, Mr. I-Forgot-Ten-States?

Chandler: Okay, time is up.
Ross: Give me another minute!
Chandler: Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.

Monica: Why?
Chandler: Okay, it's, um...
Joey: Don't do it.
Monica: Don't do what?
Chandler: I have to. Okay? It's time. Okay, I hate dogs.
Monica: What?!
Phoebe: That's crazy!
Rachel: Why?!
Joey: Told you.

Rachel: Oh, wait, before you go, can I ask a question? Um, when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend... what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Monica: Oh, I'd say about a month.
Phoebe: Really? I'd say three to four.
Joey: Half-hour.
Rachel: Interesting...

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion.... It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

Joey: Okay, I'm in my sweatpants. Bring on the food.

Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't 50 states... Let me tell you something. I have 49 states. Now, there are no more. Now, I think I should be able to eat something.
Chandler: It's up to you...

Ross: Delaware! Delaware!!
Chandler: All right.
Ross: I want my turkey now.
Chandler: You got it... You got Nevada twice.
Ross: I know.
Chandler: Yeah...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Малкольм Гладуэлл — Разговор с незнакомцем (2/2)

<< Начало

&  Следовать презумпции правдивости – не преступление. Это одна из основополагающих человеческих склонностей.

&  Иллюзия прозрачности сродни презумпции правдивости. Проблема в том, что наши стратегии взаимодействия с незнакомцами глубоко ошибочны, но при этом социально необходимы. Нам нужно, чтобы система уголовного правосудия, наем на работу и выбор няни сохраняли человеческое лицо. Однако требование человечности означает, что приходится мириться с морем ошибок. В этом и заключается парадокс общения с незнакомцами. Мы сплошь и рядом справляемся с этой задачей просто ужасно.

&  ...причина заключается в иллюзии прозрачности. Мы склонны решать, искренен ли человек, глядя на манеру его поведения. Четко говорящих, уверенныхлюдей, отличающихся крепким рукопожатием, общительных и обаятельных мы считаем правдивыми. А нервных, уклончивых, заикающихся, неуверенных в себе, дающих многословные путаные объяснения, подозреваем в нечестности.

&  Дело не в том, что люди не умеют распознавать ложь. Они плохо справляются лишь в тех ситуациях, когда говорящий не вписывается в стереотип.

&  Алкоголь – не средство проявления человеческой натуры. Это средство ее трансформации.

&  То, что мы хотим выяснить о незнакомце, легко подвержено порче. Если ступать без оглядки, эта правда рассыплется в прах буквально у нас под ногами. И отсюда следует ... предостережение: нужно смириться с тем, что в стремлении разгадать незнакомца нельзя переходить определенную грань. Всей правды мы не узнаем никогда. Придется довольствоваться частичной. Верный способ успешно общаться с незнакомцем – делать это скромно и с осторожностью.

&  Первые два заблуждения при общении с незнакомцами – презумпция правдивости и иллюзия прозрачности – мешают нам понять саму личность чужака. Но трудности достигают критической точки, когда к этим ошибкам мы добавляем еще одну: непонимание важности контекста, в котором действует незнакомец.

  ... Когда мы не знаем, как правильно разговаривать с незнакомцами, то неизбежно возникают недоразумения. И что же мы делаем в таких случаях? Мы обвиняем незнакомцев.”

Election (1999)

Tracy Flick: You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's just gonna happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.

Tammy Metzler: Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's gonna change anything around here, make one single person smarter, or happier, or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one who gets elected.
     The same pathetic charade happens every year, and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college.
     So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college, and I don't care. And as president, I won't do anything. The only promise I will make is that, if elected, I will immediately dismantle the student government so that none of us will ever have to sit through one of these stupid assemblies again!....
     Or don't vote for me! Who cares? Don't vote at all!

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The One with Ross's Library Book

Friends 7×7

Monica: She also invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Chandler: You said no, right?
Monica: Huh?
Chandler: You said no, right?
Monica: She cornered me. She asked me if the wedding was in town. What was I supposed to do?
Chandler: Lie. How hard is that? "Your check's in the mail." "Oh, your baby's so cute." "I can't wait to read your book, Ross."

Chandler: You know what? It'll be okay. She's probably not gonna even want to come...
Monica: Really?!
Chandler: No, that was a lie. See how easy that was?

Rachel: Joey, I'm sorry. I just couldn't tell her all those things. And we got to talking, and I... We want you to marry her.

Ross: People are doing it in front of my book.
Joey: I'm sorry?
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school. I went to see it. And there were students making babies right in the paleontology section.

Erin: He's a really great guy, and I know you really want this to work out... but I just don't see this having a future.
Rachel: What? But you said that you liked him! What happened? Did you just change your mind?
Erin: Kind of.
Phoebe: Then change it back!

—
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Малкольм Гладуэлл — Разговор с незнакомцем:

Почему мы ошибаемся в людях и доверяем лжецам

  “Как-то раз, много лет тому назад, родители навещали меня в Нью-Йорке, и мне захотелось немного пошалить: я поселил их в гостинице Mercer. ...

&  Иногда лучший разговор между незнакомцами – тот, который и позволяет им таковыми оставаться.

&  Загадка № 1: почему мы не понимаем, когда незнакомец врет нам в глаза?

&  Загадка № 2: почему зачастую мы заочно судим о незнакомце более точно, чем после личной встречи с ним?

&  Пронин называет это явление «иллюзией асимметричной проницательности». Она пишет:
     «Убежденность в том, что мы понимаем окружающих лучше, чем они нас, и что мы можем знать о них нечто такое, чего не знают они сами (но это работает только в одну сторону, все прочие не настолько проницательны), заставляет нас говорить там, где надо бы послушать, и нетерпеливо отвергать жалобы других на то, что их неверно поняли илинесправедливо оценили».

&  Нам кажется, что мы легко можем заглянуть в душу другого человека, сколь бы поверхностно ни знали его. Мы без колебаний беремся судить об окружающих. Разумеется, по отношению к себе мы ничего подобного со стороны других не допускаем. Ну как же: мы ведь натуры тонкие, сложные и трудно постижимые. А у незнакомца всё как на ладони.
     Однако на самом деле незнакомцы далеко не так просты, как нам кажется, – вот едва ли не самая важная мысль, которую я хочу донести до читателей этой книги.

&  Шпионы обводят нас вокруг пальца не потому, что они необыкновенно умны. Просто что-то неладно с нами самими.

&  Правда у нас в приоритете: мы исходим из предположения, что все, с кем мы вступаем в контакт, ведут себя честно. В этом и заключается феномен презумпции правдивости.

&  Чтобы отключить презумпцию правдивости, нужен, как называет это Левин, «спусковой крючок». И тут просто подозрения или укола сомнения будет недостаточно. От презумпции правдивости мы отказываемся, только когда получаем явные свидетельства того, что наше исходное представление неверно. Иначе говоря, мы ведем себя не как ученые-скептики, кропотливо собирающие свидетельства в пользу истинности или ложности теории, прежде чем сделать вывод. Мы поступаем ровно наоборот: начинаем с веры и прекращаем верить, только лишь когда больше уже не можем отмахнуться от своих сомнений и опасений.

&  Сомнение – не враг веры, а ее спутник.

Окончание >>

Rickmurai Jack

Rick and Morty 5x10

Morty: Y-You're, like, looking, like, into crows...still.
Rick: Oh, uh, two crows, you remember Morty. Morty, two crows.

Rick: It's just that the battle for crows is kind of never-ending.
Morty: Huh. Right. A little pointless, then, right? That came out wrong, s-sounded judgy.

Rick: Time be goin' by, don't she?
Morty: That's your reaction to finding out you wasted your entire life?

Rick: Don't worry, honey. That's just Morty's middle age talking. He'll be less codependent once we get more of his life in front of him again.
Summer: Uh, I'd like him to stay 40 so he can keep buying my friends molly... I'd rather throw my vote away than use it to support a flawed system.

Morty: Rick?
Rick: Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!

Rick: See ya later, masturbators.

President Morty: "Evil Rick." I love it. Smartest man in the universe, with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick.

Morty: I'm sorry, Rick.
Rick: That apology and a screwdriver in my hand would be worth a screwdriver.

President Morty: You sellout Mortys kill me. I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship if there was any point. But you can't help it. You were bred for it. Wanna see?...

President Morty: There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty. He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man. And he's attached to us infinitely through his weakness and our forgiveness. This is why we're with him. This is why we're alive.

President Morty: Did you think my force field would be down the second time?
Rick: I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue.
President Morty: Disapprove all you want. Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering. Tonight, I do that thing I want to do with the curve thing.

Morty: Whoa. Dead wife?
Rick: Yes, now everyone can shut up about it.
Morty: Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better having seen all that.
President Morty: Of course that's the case. In their minds, they're the underdogs. And that's how they justify this.
Rick: Morty, I'm not responsible for every [bleep]-up Rick out there.
President Morty: They literally all say that. They all have that excuse. It's part of their system. None of them have to be responsible. They're all victims of themselves.

President Morty: Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is? They built a wall around infinity. They separated all the infinite universes from all the infinite universes where he's the smartest man in the universe. Every version of us has spent every version of all of our lives in one infinite crib built around an infinitebaby. And I'm leaving it.

Prof. Poopybutthole: I guess things went downhill from there. Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling, but then I guess I stopped, 'cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming. Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day, ultimately hurting the only people brave enough to love us.
     Wish I didn't do that. Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don't know. Maybe you should try it. We don't have as much time as we think. Ooowee.

——
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All In

Ozark 3×10

Jade: Is this what I think it is?
Sam Dermody: Even better. It's my mom.
Jade: It's your mom's?
Sam Dermody: No, my mom, pressed hard and firm, and... wrapped around your finger for life. Try her on.

Special Agent Maya Miller: I'm not gonna be compromised by you.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: It's not about me, and it shouldn't be about you, either. You know, it should be about all of us trying to do the good that we can do, right now. Your bosses understand that, you know? But you think you're above that. ... You're waiting for the world to change to fit your pristine belief system, and it's just never gonna happen. What will happen is that you're gonna lose your career, Maya. But hey, you'll be right.

Wendy Byrde: I can't do this anymore.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Okay. What do we do? You wanna run? You wanna... You wanna take the deal? You tell me what you need.

Wendy Byrde: Everything I've done, I've done for nothing.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: The kids are alive. And they love us, against all odds.

Wendy Byrde: What the hell are we gonna do?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: We can launder money for a Mexican drug cartel...
Wendy Byrde: That's not funny.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Your plan was right. Our security is tied to Navarro. We give him a future, he gives us a future. We just need to burrow right into the center of this thing. We can do that. And you made it possible.

Jonah Byrde: What's going on?
Charlotte Byrde: They're trying to make sure Helen doesn't kill us.

Darlene Snell: ...it's about time both of you understood the value of people from here having their own thing.

Omar Navarro: Today... Well, today is our beginning.

—
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Forgetting Sarick Mortshall

Rick and Morty 5x9

Rick: Wait a minute. Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum transport solution?

Rick: Two crows. You're fired!
Morty: You know what? Eat [BLEEP]. You're just trying to make me feel worthless.
Rick: I never said you're worthless. In fact, I've given you a very clear metric of your worth: Two crows. Note I didn't say three!

Nick: Break the cycle, Morty. Change the things that you can change. That's what I did. And now I'm free.

Rick: Ah, now I see. The real treasure is empathy. And that's worth way more than any knick-knack. You guys just earned yourselves another adventure! The adventure is, you're fired.

Crow Boss: Be your crows. Train yourself. Crows are then trained.
Rick: I'm open to what you're describing if it's easier than wiping an unearned smirk off my grandson's face. W-What do I do?
Crow Boss: Look at your crows. Be your crows.
Rick: God I am so glad I'm a primate. Fine. Looking at my crows...
Crow Boss: We train ourselves to stop training. The trained are untrained, we are untrained. All training is complete.
Rick: Because no training was needed... My God! I-I get it, now. We are gonna shove this crow shit down Morty's throat!

Morty: M-maybe this isn't a good idea. L-Like what if he catches us? He could trap me in a Matrix again.

Morty: Sorry, Dad, gotta go be heroes. G-Gonna take your car, love you!

Rick: Oh, my God, Morty. Here, here, come here, l-let-let grandpa fix you up, What do you want, a robot hand? A lizard hand? I can make it big again like that one time?

Rick: What we had was abusive. Don't you see? I'm a bad partner because I never made you a true partner. The crows made me see that. I thought they were a joke like you, but it turns out they're more enlightened than any of us.
Morty: O-Okay? And-And what's the undercut?
Rick: You're not hearing me. I will never be the same, so I need to leave with the crows and see what more they can teach me.

Morty: You know what, Rick? You really have changed.
Rick: Thanks, Morty. I'll always be your grandpa, Morty. Just kinda obsessed with crows now.

Rick: Aww, shit! Rick and two crows! Kicking off my new franchise! The galaxy is our telephone wire! We'll do a thousand seasons, 14 episodes each, 9-9 seconds a pop because that's the future of viewing... shows on your shoes... Sneaki! That's when you've got everybody's attention... when they're putting crap on their feet. That's when they wanna laugh. Cry. Or feel anything besides a shoe going on their foot! Watch sitcoms on your sneakers! The Rick and Two Crows Show, we're gonna be layin'... layin' walnuts on the road for car tires to open em' you know what I mean? Forever, it's Rick and two crows, forever!

——
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Blood Buffet

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Red Tide

10×4

Holden Vaughn: You know, back in the day, you'd walk downtown, and you'd see boys getting butt-fucked on front porches like some kind of perverted Norman Rockwell painting. It was true homosexual Americana. Now it's Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom and baby stroller gridlock all fucking summer long.

Holden Vaughn: Let's cut the bullshit. A big-city chemist looking for a quiet place with great ventilation in a town where the things that are most plentiful for eight months a year are methheads, choppy seas, and depression? That sounds like a woman looking to set up her own little meth lab.
The Chemist: I have a PhD from Harvard. Meth is well below my pay grade.
Holden Vaughn: Good. 'Cause the sheriff has a nose like a truffle pig for that junk.

The Chemist: I think the medicine has different effects on creative and noncreative people. It's almost like the noncreative ones can tolerate their lack of talent until they're confronted with it. Then their mediocrity drives 'em mad. So... Wanna try one?
Mickey: Fuck no!
The Chemist: Maybe you're one of the talented ones...
Mickey: Um... Thanks but no, thanks.

Belle Noir: I'm so happy.
Mickey: Uh, yeah, that's the drugs.
Belle Noir: Then I want more.
Mickey: Yeah, you see, it doesn't really work that way. First time's the best, and then, uh, you end up chasing that high forever, and you never catch it.

Mickey: Uh, you know, I, uh... I know someone that can give you something else. Something that can make you happy forever.
Belle Noir: How come you're not taking it?
Mickey: 'Cause it's, uh... it's not for me. It only works for people like you. Artists.

The Chemist: Mickey tell you what I'm offering?
Belle Noir: Making all my dreams come true. I'm in.
The Chemist: You wanna know about the side effects?
Belle Noir: I know I'm talented.

Belle Noir: Whatever it takes... To finding my destiny.

Pale Person #1: I need a coat. And I don't have a lot of money.
Lark: I got just the thing.
Pale Person #1: These look expensive.
Lark: They were, in the '80s. All the fashion gays from New York and Boston came out here to let their dicks and rainbow flags fly. Then they all died and left behind closets full of this high-fashion stuff. When the straight yuppies moved into town, they cleaned out the closets and donated all of it to us.

Pale Person #1: I don't know what happened. I'm a vegan. I don't even eat those Impossible Burgers, but the thirst for her was too much.

Pale Person #1: Why? I told you, I'm a pacifist.
The Chemist: You hate everyone because you now know the truth about yourself. You're not talented. You don't have what it takes. The talented ones need the blood, but their rage comes from their arrogance and certainty that they're better than everyone. The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big.

The Chemist: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company soon. Soon as word gets out about what I'm sellin' here, every asshole whose mother told him he could be the next Elvis or Tyler Perry gonna take a chance on that little black pill. Nine out of ten of 'em are gonna end up just like you.

Austin Summers: You know, men have been performing in women's clothing since the time of the Greeks. You all just appropriated it for gay culture.

Austin Summers: What's that?
Belle Noir: It's your new starter switch. It's the highway to your true self.
Austin Summers: Fuck it.

Belle Noir: You can't win 'em all. I'm full anyway.
Austin Summers: What do we do now?
Belle Noir: Now... we go write.

--
On the IMDb
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Downton Abbey 2×7

Sir Richard Carlisle: The train was late.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Welcome to the new world.
Sir Richard Carlisle: When a war is over, the first emotion is relief. The second, disappointment. Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: How sad. But how true.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I nearly came down in a dinner jacket tonight.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Really? Well, why not a dressing gown? Or better still, pyjamas?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: That's why I didn't.
Isobel Crawley: I like the new fashions. Shorter skirts, looser cuts. The old clothes were all very well if one spent the day on a chaise longue, but if one wants to get anything done, the new clothes are much better.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'll stick to the chaise longue.
Lady Sybil Crawley: Granny, you don't want things to go back to the way they were, surely?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Of course I do, and as quickly as possible.
Lady Sybil Crawley: What about you, Papa?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Before the war, I believed my life had value. I suppose I should like to feel that again.

Mrs. Hughes: But will you be happy there? That's what I want to be sure of.
Mr. Carson: If you're asking whether I'll regret leaving Downton... I will regret it every minute of every day. I thought I would die here... and haunt it ever after.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: You'll all stay for dinner, won't you?
Major Clarkson: I'm afraid I'm not dressed.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Never mind that. Who cares about that? What about you, Mama?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Certainly. All this unbridled joy has given me quite an appetite.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Tell me, how are things progressing at Haxby?
Sir Richard Carlisle: Quite well. I've put in a condition so the builders are fined for every day they go over.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Does that make for a happy atmosphere?
Sir Richard Carlisle: I want it done. They can be happy in their own time.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why the rush?
Sir Richard Carlisle: I like everything I own to be finished and ready to sell.

Lady Mary Crawley: The truth is, Ethel's made her choice and now she's stuck with it.
Lavinia Swire: That seems a little hard.
Lady Mary Crawley: Does it? Aren't all of us stuck with the choices we make?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Cousin, Matthew? May I come in?
Matthew Crawley: Please.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: .... No doubt you will regard this as rather unorthodox, my pushing into a man's bedroom, uninvited.
Matthew Crawley: Well, erm...
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: It's just I don't want us to be disturbed.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, it's all very admirable... and I give her full credit.
Matthew Crawley: And giving her that credit, do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk? To dismiss her, because I no longer have need of her services?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Spoken like a man of honour. And we will not fall out over this.
Matthew Crawley: But you don't agree.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I would just say one thing: Marriage is a long business. There's no getting out of it for our kind of people. Now you may live 40... 50 years with one of these two women. Just make sure you have selected the right one.

—
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The One with the Nap Partners

Friends 7×6

Monica: The reason I asked you to brunch... is because I've been thinking about my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh, my God. This is it. I hope it's you.
Phoebe: I hope it's you.
Rachel: Me too.

Monica: First of all, I love you both so much. You're both so important to me.
Rachel: Blah, blah, blah. Who is it?

Chandler: You know what they say, "Elephants never forget."... Seriously, good luck marrying me.

Chandler: I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person. And that is not the man you fell in love with.

Joey: First of all, I would like to say you both performed very well, okay? You should be proud. And I'd also like to say, in this competition, there are no losers. Well, except Rachel.

Rachel: You know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her... her vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower!

Joey: Boy, I tell you. That judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Ross: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah. Thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch...
Ross: Why would I care about that?
Joey: No reason. I'm just saying that... that's where I'll be.

Chandler: I think that I'm going to apologize for all the stupid things that I do.
Monica: Why don't you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldn't have to apologize.
Chandler: I'd love it if I could do both.

Rachel: I just want to apologize. I'm really sorry I was a baby.
Phoebe: That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once... Oh, you mean today.

—
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Copenhagen

Billions 5×1

Mike Wagner 'Wags': I spent the last 18 hours in a whirlwind of Mike Prince research-wining, dining, drugging, grooming, levering, horse-trading...
Bobby Axelrod: And the dividend?
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Prince keeps himself locked down Fort Knox-style. But one Roger Dunbar, known to you as Scooter, is our way in...

Bobby Axelrod: Nail him to the pyre, douse him with oil, and light his ass up.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Yes. Joan of Arc style. But first... a quick nap.

Wendy Rhoades: Just... if you're not used to it, the money talk from my colleagues can be relentless, shameless, suffocating.
Nico Tanner: Ah. You know, only rich people get embarrassed by money talk. The rest of us get embarrassed because we don't have any money.

Nico Tanner: How much you make?
Wendy Rhoades: Really?
Nico Tanner: Yeah. It'll clarify things.
Wendy Rhoades: My bonus was $9 million last year.
Nico Tanner: Jesus.

Wendy Rhoades: I guess I'm just saying, beware.
Nico Tanner: Yeah, I hear you. It's just that now that I have a little bit of it, that money, I... it's startin' to feel like freedom.

Rian: You're my boss, but not a king. You don't own my time. We have a work relationship. Let's keep it that way. Cool? Kewl. That time I said it with the K and W spelling. Could you hear it?

Mike Wagner 'Wags': Give up Prince.
Roger 'Scooter' Dunbar: Nothin' to give.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': He may be the best at bleaching. But no one gets to 11 figures clean. Go home. Remember the thing. Come tell Axe and me. And your life stays the same. Don't, and you lose everything you hold sacred.

Chuck Rhoades: I didn't like the circumstances you left under.
Merle Howard: Never bad to march with your conscience intact.
Chuck Rhoades: Not sure I agree with that. Conscience can be a little bit like those old nonstick pans. Flakes off under heat. Produces noxious fumes that ruin the whole enterprise.

Chuck Rhoades: The wisdom from down the road. I'm giving you the most valuable thing I have: perspective. You have the chance to live a life of honor. To sleep through the night--
Merle Howard: You know what? I already have a father who sells me his bad choices, his object lessons. You have a day to resign gracefully. After that, I'm blasting the picture out wide.

Chuck Rhoades: Does the election-tampering bother you? Kate Sacker: Nah, I'd have a bigger problem if you weren't in it to win it. Chuck Rhoades: I was on the right side of history, if that matters. Kate Sacker: Yeah, no, not much. Kate Sacker: As you'd say... "Let me work."

Chuck Rhoades: Ah, the things we do for those we love huh?...

Rhoades, Sr.: If the worst comes to pass, Wendy... if I hit the fucking wall and become a full gomer, I need you to be clear-eyed and punch my ticket. Can I count on you?
Wendy Rhoades: Sure, Dad. If it comes to it, I'll put you down.
Rhoades, Sr.: That's a good girl.

Mike Prince: You're trying to put a read on me? Steady hands, no micro-expressions, nothing there. So you can look as long and hard as you want at my life, past or present. There's nothing there for you to chew on.
Bobby Axelrod: You sure? When a man's bluffing, he looks a guy right in the eyes.
Mike Prince: I look people in the eye because I believe in myself. And I like to connect with them.

Mike Prince: ...one of the things I love about the Danes, their warmth. They have the most delightful demeanor and a wonderful word to describe their state of cozy well-being. Hygge. It's the contentment of feeling warm, being warm. Danes are hygge-like. And in the time I will be spending in their midst, I plan to embrace their way of life. While you will remain here... Cold, lonely, self-obsessed, and most assuredly not hygge-like.

Bobby Axelrod: You'll always be my guy, Wags. But don't make me have to get another guy that you report to.

Chuck Rhoades: You know, I always figured I'd keep growing in a real way. That the worst parts of me would recede over time, that I'd be able to will myself forward to the better.
Ira: Oh, instead?
Chuck Rhoades: As 50 looms, you come to see that those sub-optimal parts, the bugs, as it were... They aren't bugs. No. Turns out, they are you.

Bobby Axelrod: This is a strange fucking pep talk, Wend.
Wendy Rhoades: Because I'm not giving you one. Do you know how many sports movies I've watched over the last 20 years? All of them. Wendy Rhoades: So believe me, I know how to do 'em.

Bobby Axelrod: So what do you suggest I do instead?
Wendy Rhoades: Figure out who or what from your past you're still furious at, because that's where it always really comes from, and go hit that. Or finally decide to let it go.
Bobby Axelrod: The past... You're right. It's always the fucking past.

Dean Walker: You did do a good thing. Two, really. Merle Howard has a chance to be a productive member of society. And Yale is now protected from a mentor like you.

Chuck Rhoades: Well, I no longer need it. But I am in the mood to take someone down. Let's do it because it's the right thing to do.
Kate Sacker: Refreshing.
Chuck Rhoades: Old school. Move fast on this.
Kate Sacker: You know it.

Taylor Mason: I'm on the wrong side of our generation. Even just the four years between when Axe put the choice to me, and now...
Rian: No, yeah, you're old. I'm not. But I'm not sitting here like I'm better than you. Fuck. You chose something sturdy and real, and where, like, you could land. I'm still floating. That's what I've been thinking about since we last talked. How I'm caught between.

Rian: I'm gonna ditch the catering company.
Taylor Mason: Good. But I can't let you just go and do it without warning you what else you need to be ready for. What else one gives up to go on the journey.
Rian: Oh, so what else do you give up?
Taylor Mason: Nights, weekends, holidays. Your world will become a series of data sets, line items on a P and L. Everything broken down into basis points. And your victories will not be the money, the thing that anybody can measure, but the stuff they can't begin to appreciate. Looking beyond what's quantifiable, the subtle refinements, the elegance of success.
Rian: I'll quit the catering company. Then buy it. Turn it over to my friends.
Taylor Mason: Nice gesture. They won't appreciate it. But at least you'll know you did a good thing for them. Your real friends, few as they may be, will get it. And the ones that don't, don't have the capacity to be the kind of friend you need.
Rian: So instead of friendship, you have to use work to fill the void?
Taylor Mason: I guess I do.

--
On the IMDb

Master of Penguins

Atypical 4×2

Professor Judd: What's your plan, you know, after college?
Sam: After college? I have no idea. I never thought I would get this far.

Sam: At least you know what job you want. All I know is what job I'm terrible at: interviewer. Paige: Survey stuff was hard?
Sam: Yes. I had to ask all these people questions, and I was supposed to care what they had to say. It was horrible.

Paige: If I were a manager, would I still have to wear the potato?
Laird: Managers don't wear the potato.

Casey: Okay, fine, you win. You can help me. But no being annoying or overbearing or lovey-dovey or dumb.
Doug: Deal.
Elsa: I can't promise any of that.

—
On the IMDb
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