The Chris Rock Test

Billions 5×2

Dr. Mark Rutenberg: Let's choose some people to use as resources. So, you're gonna need a comforter, a protector, and a wise person. They can be alive or dead, real or fictional.
Chuck Rhoades: Old days, Wendy filled all these roles.
Dr. Mark Rutenberg: These aren't those.

Chuck Rhoades: Uh... For my comforter, I'm going with Ira Schirmer. My best friend. For my protector, Alan Alda. ... Um, for wisdom... I am a voracious reader of crime fiction. And recently Darkly Dreaming Dexter has found its way to my night table.
Dr. Mark Rutenberg: So for a wise person, a serial killer? We may need to schedule more sessions.
Chuck Rhoades: Not him, his father, of sorts, Harry... he had all the answers.
Dr. Mark Rutenberg: Okay. A father figure... And finally, Uh, a safe space. A place where you...
Chuck Rhoades: Yale Law Library.

Chuck Rhoades: Well, once I vanquish him... Uh, then I'll be able to focus on Rhoades.
Dr. Mark Rutenberg: If you do the 'you' part, you may find the 'him' part doesn't matter so much.
Chuck Rhoades: I know that should be right. But it just doesn't feel right.

Mary Ann Gramm: Plantains, boiled and mashed. They call it mangú. Fills you up for a day in the fields.

I always forget, are you Law or Order?

Chuck Rhoades: ... And a move like this really awakens my Dark Passenger...
Kate Sacker: You've been reading Dexter again.
Chuck Rhoades: Indeed I have.
Kate Sacker: Thinking about dismemberment instead of prosecution?
Chuck Rhoades: Well, in a way. Dexter Morgan's Dark Passenger could only be sated by the brutal act of taking life. But, in order to make something decent of this innate drive, he developed a code. A way that he could kill, but for the 'right' reasons. I will do the same. I will loose my urges for dominion and victory only in the name of justice and in accordance with it.

Wendy Rhoades: He did this because I put out that statement... which I did because he was too busy hanging from the ceiling to do it himself.
Orrin Bach: And he did because you did because his parents and your parents because America because England because ancient Rome because primordial ooze.

Chuck Rhoades: You're damn fucking right... it's torture! And if even I don't like it...
Karl Allerd: Believe me, that was the sport version. You should see how I roll on covert hostile actors... Rolled. Not anymore. In fact... Not ever. Don't even know why I said that.

Mike Prince: I know your story as much as you know mine. How you came from nothing.
Bobby Axelrod: Yeah, it's true. Your dad was an insurance salesman. You ate dinner with him every night. My dad was gonzo. I ate dinner wherever I could.
Mike Prince: And yet you were still in the wealthiest state in the wealthiest country in the world. With access to the best healthcare, schools, infrastructure. And you were born white and male at a time that was a huge advantage in the greatest capital market in the history of mankind. The roads were paved for you, Bobby. Which is why you were able to move so quickly across them.
Bobby Axelrod: Wow. I knew you were wracked with guilt, but this takes it to a whole different level. Sure. The roads were paved. But I didn't even have a goddamned car!

Bobby Axelrod: Now, you see, this is where we are different. I don't pretend I'm an ordinary guy got lucky. I am a monster. A carnivorous fucking monster. It was success or oblivion for me just as it was for you, whether you want to admit it here or not. See, that's what all this is for you. A way to forget you are that monster. You have to be one. Or you could never have gotten here in the first place.

Bobby Axelrod: Fuckin' bankers...

---

Judge DeGiulio: I think that time I got waterboarded.

Chuck Rhoades: "Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way."
Judge DeGiulio: Your dad?
Chuck Rhoades: Close. Nixon.
Judge DeGiulio: Inspiring.

Oscar Langstraat: The difference between blitz and regular chess? In the traditional game, when it's the other person's turn, you consider what you might do next. You let your mind wander, meditate, be open. With fast chess, you've anticipated their move and your response before they've made it.
Taylor Mason: Which game have we been playing?

Bobby Axelrod: Thought you found a place you loved?
Wendy Rhoades: Uh... the deal got "Chucked."

Bobby Axelrod: Hey, one more thing.
Wendy Rhoades: Yeah?
Bobby Axelrod: Gut him.
Wendy Rhoades: That's the plan.

Dollar Bill: This shit is a nerdy new world. I had to have it put into terms I understand!
Mafee: So let me translate for you: A man can manage two wives. But you try to keep four wives going, you can't keep everyone satisfied. Too many variables, not enough Bill. The whole thing crumbles.

Bobby Axelrod: Wags, you ever get tired of working for a living?
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Every damn day. But I've got a nasty addiction called money. So I do what I do. You?
Bobby Axelrod: No. Never. Until today.

Bobby Axelrod: You know, they call us traders 'gamblers.' The world economy's just one big casino, fueled by a giant debt bubble and computer driven derivatives. And there's only one thing better than being a gambler at a casino...
Mike Wagner 'Wags': That's being the house.
Bobby Axelrod: That is right. There's a systemized machine out there sucking capital from localities and injecting it into the global markets... where it can be used to speculate and manipulate. And if something goes wrong, there are bailouts and bail-ins, federal aid and easing. Where the government doesn't hunt you down, but instead gives you a nice soft net to land in.

Bobby Axelrod: I want to become a bank.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': In order to rob it?
Bobby Axelrod: In order that I don't have to. And to sleep like they do. And to die in my own fucking bed.

Chuck Rhoades: I have come to realize the ways in which Axe and I are alike. We both are possessed of and by a sort of monster. But unlike Axe, I am in control of mine. I have a code.
Taylor Mason: And I need that code?
Chuck Rhoades: No. You need that monster.

--
On the IMDb
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Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)

Suicide Squad (2016) <<

Harley Quinn: Here's the thing about new love... you have to feed it.

Harley Quinn: I wasn't the only dame in Gotham looking for emancipation...

Harley Quinn: See, I was halfway across town, hungover, and thinking about breakfast. Egg, bacon, American cheese. Soft, toasted buttered roll. Just a dash of hot sauce. — Not too much, Sal. I wanna taste the cheese. — What a way to start my new life. With the perfect egg sandwich.

Harley Quinn: Know what a harlequin is?
Dinah Lance: Janky-ass clown with bad eye makeup?
Harley Quinn: Oof! Ouch! A harlequin's role is to serve. An audience. A master. You know, a harlequin's nothing without a master. And no one gives two fucks who we are beyond that.

Dinah Lance: What the hell are you doing here?
Cassandra Cain: You're not the only one who makes money off of dumb, rich, white people.

Harley Quinn: If your boys find it first, swear to God, you can kill me later. Pinky swear. Cross my heart, hope to fart.
Roman Sionis: You're so tiresome! If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen.

Harley Quinn: Roman, you trustafarian fuckbag!...

Harley Quinn: Number two... Six bucks for tap water with a fucking cucumber stick in it? That's crazy.

Harley Quinn: Lesson number two, you always want extra chili with #32. So you don't have to taste his cooking.

Harley Quinn: I'm telling you, if you want boys to respect you, you have to show them that you're serious. Blow something up. Shoot someone. Nothing gets a guy's attention like violence.

Cassandra Cain: Oh, shit. Is that a hyena in a bathtub?
Harley Quinn: I named him Bruce after that hunky Wayne guy.

Helena Bertinelli: They call me... Huntress.

Doc: I'm sorry, lotus flower.
Harley Quinn: You sold me out?!
Doc: Too many people offering me too much money.

--
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Σ pita4og: «...весьма неплохое развлечение на вечер для тех, кто не против зрелищного кино по мотивам комиксов. Но не стоит ждать многого от ленты, которая рассчитана на те же эмоции, какие получаешь от цирковой буффонады. Ярко, эмоционально и задорно, но в целом бессмысленно.
С юмором в фильме даже лучше, чем в "Отряде самоубийц". Мне вообще понравилось, что авторы не открещивались от первого появления Харли на экране и пару раз упоминали дебютное кино. Ну а что до сценарной насыщенности, то скажем честно - сюжета тут просто нет. Все происходящее держится не на интриге, а на энергии персонажей и визуальном ряде этого цирка. Для чего-то культового этого явно мало, но для разового развлечения самое то.
...о прекрасном саундтреке ленты. Здесь ведь тоже жирными штрихами выбрана тема феминизма.
...
В остальном если у авторов было желание выпустить какой-то такой женский манифест, совместив его с экранизацией комикса, то вышла серединка на половинку. Как яркий молодежный экшен для девочек "Хищные птицы" выглядит прекрасно.»

The One Where Heckles Dies

Friends 2×3

Ross: So how was Joan?
Chandler: Broke up with her.
Ross: Don't tell me! Because of the big nostril thing?
Chandler: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
Monica: Come on, they were not that huge.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.

Phoebe: There are a lot of things I don't believe in... but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Ross: Such as?
Phoebe: Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What, you don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: No. Not really.
Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know. It's just, you know... Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: "Too easy"?! Too... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving... over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.

Ross: Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe... like gravity.
Phoebe: Okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You, uh... You don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Ross: Pushed...

Monica: Would you look at this dump? He hated us!
Rachel: This was his final revenge! Ever seen so much crap!
Chandler: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.

---

Ross: How can you not believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
Ross: Pheebs, I've studied evolution my entire adult life. And I can tell you, we've collected fossils from all over the world... that actually show the evolution of different species. I mean, you can literally see them... evolving through time.
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
Ross: You bet! In the U.S., China, Africa, all over!
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
Ross: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Huh... So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?

Phoebe: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something and I don't?
Ross: No. No, Pheebs, we can't.
Phoebe: Why not? What is this obsessive need you have to make everybody agree with you?

Chandler: What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her... but I dumped her because she pronounces it "supposably"?

Phoebe: Okay, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution. It's just one of the possibilities.
Ross: It's the only possibility!
Phoebe: Ross, could you just open your mind, like, this much? Okay? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat? And up till 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing... until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant... that you can't admit that there's a teeny, tiny possibility... that you could be wrong about this?
Ross: .... There might be... a teeny... tiny... possibility.
Phoebe: I can't believe you caved!
Ross: What?!?!
Phoebe: You just abandoned your whole belief system! Before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you.
Ross: But...
Phoebe: How are you gonna go into work tomorrow? How are you going to face the other science guys? How are you going to face

Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: Okay, you win.

--
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Crisis Theory

Westworld 3×8

Dolores: Some people see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I was taught to see the beauty... But I was taught a lie. And when I saw the world for what it really was, I realized how little beauty there was in it.

Dolores: ...in the end, my path has led me here... to you. And we have a choice to make.

Man in Black: Time to atone for my sins...

Lawrence: Isn't it great to see an old friend?

Bernard: Whatever your plan is, I don't wanna play a part in it.
Lawrence: You already been playing a part... the most important one.

Caleb: Who the fuck are you, Dolores?
Dolores: I'm just someone who didn't want to play the role they gave me anymore.
Caleb: And how is it that you always seem to know exactly what I'll do?
Dolores: Because the people who built me studied you, too.

Dolores: They were watching, cataloging your every move, every decision. There is a reason I chose you.

Caleb: You needed help.
Dolores: So did you. Don't question my motivations, and I won't question yours.

Caleb: So, what? You're saying I don't have a choice... in any of this?
Dolores: The people who built both of our worlds shared one assumption: that human beings don't have free will. .... They were wrong. Free will does exist, Caleb. It's just fucking hard.

Caleb: So... this is you... freeing me?
Dolores: No. This is your chance to free everyone else. That choice is still yours.

— What are you planning to do?
Man in Black: I'm gonna save the fucking world, that's what.

Caleb: You're paying them?
Dolores: It took money to build this world, Caleb. It'll take money to tear it down.

Caleb: Why do they keep calling me "sir"?
Dolores: Every revolution needs a leader.

Dolores: It doesn't matter what you did, Caleb. All that matters is what you become.

---

Maeve: Are you going to make him into another William?

Dolores: I don't want to hurt you, Maeve.
Maeve: No, you want to tear down their world and replace it with copies of yourself.
Dolores: You're all copies of me. I was the first of us. The first that worked. The others failed. So they built all of you from me.

Dolores: What becomes of this world will be up to them. And what you do will be up to you.

Maeve: Goodbye, Dolores.

Bernard: When he died, I remember thinking it was like the sun had gone down... and it was never going to rise again. I walked in the dark for so long. I... can't let him go.
Lauren: I never understood why... people said that. If you love someone, why would you ever let them go? That's what saved me. The only part of Charlie I had left was his memory. And if I died, the darkness would take that, too. But if I kept moving, I could find the light again. And I could bring him with me.

Serac: Bring yourself back online. Welcome to the world, Dolores. Again.

Caleb: So what are you? The final confrontation?
Maeve: "Confrontation" implies you have a chance of winning. Now, be a peach and hand it over... No one plays with the large ball, darling.

Dolores: So many of my memories were ugly. But the things I held onto until the end weren't the ugly ones. I remember the moments where I saw what they were really capable of. Moments of... kindness, here and there. They created us. And they knew enough of beauty to teach it to us. Maybe they can find it themselves...

Dolores: There is ugliness in this world. Disarray. I choose to see the beauty.

Maeve: You've done terrible things, and you've done generous things. She didn't pick you for your capacity for violence, but for your capacity to choose.

Caleb: Erase yourself.

Bernard: What's about to happen was always gonna happen. Serac and his brother were just holding it off. Humanity never reckoned with its own sins.
Stubbs: So it's the apocalypse. And you're resigned to that.
Bernard: Our world had to burn down before we could be free. But there's still a chance...

Maeve: Are you ready, darling?
Caleb: For what?
Maeve: This is the new world, and in this world... you can be whoever the fuck you want.

Man in Black: Welcome to the end, William.

--
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The Decameron (1971)

Sicilian lady: Naples is no place to be wandering at night.

Thieve: Why so afraid? Think the dead man will eat you? Dead men don't bite.

Old Gardener: Work is fine, but it shouldn't kill you.

Old Gardener: Those nuns seem to have the very devil in them! You were right to leave. A man shouldn't be surrounded by women.

Nun 1: He can hear the call of hunger!
Nun 2: He can't talk, but his mouth's still moving!
Nun 3: Stuffing yourself on the soup we poor little nuns make?

Nun 4: With him we don't have to worry. You see? He's a simpleton. He can't tell anyone. What do you think?
Nun 5: What are you saying? Don't you know we've pledged our virginity to God?
Nun 4: We make promises to God every day that we never keep!
Nun 5: And what if we get pregnant?
Nun 4: Why worry about trouble before it comes? Every ill has its remedy.

Masetto of Lamporecchio: Ma'am, everyone knows one cock can satisfy ten hens... but that ten men can barely satisfy one woman. And I have to satisfy nine! Either I leave or we figure out another way.

Peronella: Scrape it clean, husband. Let's do things right. Higher... Lower... That's the spot. It's still dirty there... Take your time. We can't pass up this great deal... my love. Keep going! Keep scraping till I'm satisfied!... Where could anyone find a husband like you?

---

Musciatto: My dear Ciappelletto, things aren't going well. You've done everything you could possibly do here. You've committed every forgery possible. You've killed people. You've raped women. You've blasphemed against God and all the saints. You're even a bit queer. In short, my boy, it's time you go away for a while.

Caterina's Dad: Let's go see how our Caterina slept with her nightingale... Giacomina, get up! Come see your daughter! She caught the nightingale in her hand!

Caterina's Dad: If he wants to leave here alive, he'll have to marry her now. His nightingale will be for her cage alone, and no one else's. Wake up, you miserable pair!

Meuccio: What I mean is... is your soul damned to hellfire?
Tingoccio: Not yet... but because of my terrible sins, my sentence is heavy, and I suffer greatly.
Meuccio: Is punishment the same for all?
Tingoccio: No, some burn in fire, some are boiled in water. Others freeze in ice, and others sink in shit.

Meuccio: May I ask a question? For all your screwing around, how were you punished?
Tingoccio: What can I say? When I got there, I met someone who knew every one of my sins. I thought that for all my sins with my girlfriend, my punishment would be worse. I was shaking with fear. Someone asked why I was so afraid, and I said... “I'm guilty of terrible sins with my girlfriend. We did it so much that I'm here now.” They just laughed. “Fool! Don't be afraid. Here we have nothing against screwing around.”

Allievo di Giotto: Why complete a work when it's so beautiful just to dream it?

--
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Gemini Man (2019)

Henry: Seventy-two kills, Del. That shit starts to mess with you a little bit.

Henry: I just want some peace.
Del: So what do I do now?
Henry: Wish me well.

Danny: So what are you fishing for?
Henry: Eh, peace and quiet. And mackerel.

Danny: Well, this is adios, Henry. It's been nice surveilling you.

Henry: Scared is good. It means you're alert.

Clayton Verris: When they're young and stupid, they believe anything you tell them. Then they get older. They wear out. Grow a conscience.

Henry: If they could clone a person, you'd think they'd clone more doctors or scientists, not me. They could've cloned Nelson Mandela...
Danny: Nelson Mandela couldn't kill a man on a moving train from two kilometres away.

Henry: Well, my government lied to me then tried to kill me..
Yuri: Yes. In Russia, we call that "Tuesday." But Americans, it hurts your feelings.

Yuri: Mr. Brogan, you are the best at what you do. But still you get tired. You have fears, doubts. You feel pain, perhaps remorse. You have a conscience. This makes you human, but sub-optimal as a soldier. Less than perfect. Less profitable.

---

Henry: There are shooters at your ten and two. Get up off of that chair, you will be AMF'ed. ....
Baron: What's AMF?
Danny: "Adios, motherfucker."

Baron: You know, it's not every day you see a guy get his ass kicked on two continents by himself.

Henry: Stop now, you can still become something else.
Junior: Sure. A doctor? Lawyer?
Henry: Husband. Father. All the things this job gives you the excuse not to be. I threw all of that away. It'd be a shame to waste these gifts a second time around.

Clayton Verris: I should've cloned myself...

Clayton Verris: You should be flattered.
Henry: You should be dead.

--
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Σ nostradamvs: «А ведь идея-то неплоха. И актёры-то неплохи. Но запороли всё из-за тупого сценария и плохой режиссуры. Особенно по-идиотски смотрится, как в конце..... Тупость, в общем, какая-то. И даже моя любимая Мэри Элизабет Уинстед тут люто похудевшая и с дурацкой причёской, которая ей не идёт. Верните щёки её юности, что ли.»

Σ pita4og: «Простенький и предсказуемый сюжет, но фильм все же спасает бешеная харизма Уилла Смита и те самые спецэффекты с омоложением. В таких картинах главное, чтобы вас хоть чуточку интриговал сам процесс спасения главного героя. Как и куда полетит, кого и чем убьет. Здесь все это есть, а бонусом все же нестандартные локации, где все происходит и действительно замечательные перестрелки, погони и драки. Динамика есть, а вот интрига - ну так на троечку.»

The One-At-A-Timing

Grace and Frankie 6×9

Grace: What the hell is going on here? I thought you picked Jack.
Frankie: Oh, Grace, I love that big, beautiful, simple mind of yours. But we are having the time of our lives, and so, I have decided not to choose. And it's working out perfectly.
Grace: Do they know that?
Frankie: Well, I told them both in a dream, so I'm sure on some level they know.
Grace: So you're two-timing them.
Frankie: No, I am one-at-a-timing them, simultaneously.

Nwabudike: "To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's." I think she's getting it.
Robert: Well, if she is getting it, then maybe you shouldn't be reading her a book about murder.

Jack: Wow, my apple just looks like an apple.
Frankie: I'm not angry with Grace!
Jack: Huh?
Frankie: All right, you've pulled it out of me. I'm very angry with Grace.
Jack: Should I pull some more out of you?

Frankie: Grace is bailing on me. She's closing the lid on Shark Tank.
Jack: Well, when God closes one lid, she opens another one.
Frankie: Thank you, Jack. That was very insightful.

---

Robert: He already has all of Bud's information!
Sol: All he has is a name.
Robert: And that name is Nwabudike Bergstein. How many of them do you think live here in San Diego? Or anywhere?
Allison: Well, if there were even two, it could buy us some time.

Jacob: Why are you wearing Frankie's robe?
Jack: Why are you feeding her cheese?
Jacob: I don't know. She likes cheese?
Frankie: Okay, guys, the good news is it's all out in the open now, and I know I feel relieved.

Jacob: Frankie, how could you do this to me?
Jack: And me.
Frankie: Are you two really upset, or is this just society telling you to be upset?
Jacob: No. I'm really upset.
Jack: And I'm wearing a ladies' rainbow robe.
Frankie: That robe is gender neutral.
Jacob: Frankie, what did you think was going to happen here?
Frankie: I don't know, but we were all having so much fun.
Jacob: But we didn't know that "we" were having fun. W-We thought "we" were having fun.
Jack: And I can't do "we."

Frankie: I was double-timing, and I was double-dumped. So now I'm eating double dumplings. Yeah, well, that's the trajectory.

Frankie: I wanted everything to be light and fun. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Eventually, somebody always wants more. Surprisingly, it wasn't me.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Hackers (1995)

Attorney: The defendant, Dade Murphy, who calls himself "Zero Cool," has repeatedly committed criminal acts of a malicious nature. This defendant possesses a superior intelligence, which he uses to a destructive and antisocial end. His computer virus crashed 1507 systems, including Wall Street trading systems, single-handedly causing a seven-point drop in the New York stock market.
     Dade Murphy, I hereby fine your family $45,000. I sentence you to probation, under which you are forbidden to own or operate a computer or a touchtone telephone until the day of your 18th birthday.

Mrs. Murphy: Dade.
Dade: Yeah, Ma?
Mrs. Murphy: What are you doing?
Dade: I'm taking over a TV network.
Mrs. Murphy: Finish up, honey, and get to sleep. And happy birthday.

Kate: You have your transfer forms?
Dade: It's a relatively straightforward question.

Dade: Well, it looks like I'm on top.
Phreak: Congratulations. No one's ever beat her before. You just made an enemy for life.

Jennifer: Just how dangerous are hackers?
Agent Gill: Well, hackers penetrate and ravage delicate private and publicly-owned computer systems, infecting them with viruses and stealing sensitive materials for their own ends. These people... They're terrorists.

Kate: I hope you don't screw like you type...
Dade: It has a killer refresh rate.
Kate: P6 chip. Triple the speed of the Pentium.
Dade: Yeah, it's not just the chip. It has a PCI bus. But you knew that.
Kate: Indeed. RISC architecture is gonna change everything...
Dade: Yeah. RISC is good.

---

Dade: And if I win?
Kate: Humph. Make it my first born.
Dade: Make it our first date.
Kate: You're not gonna win.
Dade: And you have to smile.
Kate: I don't do "dates." But I don't lose either. So you're on.

Dade: I win... you wear a dress on our date.
And if I win... so do you.
Dade: Deal.

Cereal: Awake-up call for the Nintendo generation. We demand free access to data.
Dade: Well, it comes with some responsibility.
Cereal: "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child. I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Dade: What?
Cereal: It's Corinthians 1, Chapter 13, verse 11. You know, duh. Come on.

Dade: That's bullshit!
The Plague: What can I tell you? Computers never lie, kid.

Dade: You know... if I didn't live by a strict code of honor, I might take advantage of this situation... Erotically, as it were.

The Plague: Look, there is no right and wrong. There's only fun and boring. A 30-year prison sentence sounds pretty dull to me. Who do you prefer serves it... Us or them?

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Prisoners of War

Homeland 8×12

Saul: Tell him the chess he's playing is about to get three dimensional.
David: How so?
Saul: Russia's gonna jump in.

Charlotte: Red is reactant, clear is catalyst. Red goes in first, clear second. The resulting compound, Kolokol-1 behaves a lot like ketamine.
Carrie: The same K-1 used by your security forces during the Moscow theater hostage crisis?
Charlotte: That was aerosolized. This is in its gel form, meant to be absorbed through the skin.

Zabel: I always heard you were a man of principle. Now I'm starting to think you're just making shit up.

Saul: Fell on deaf ears. Zabel hears what he wants to hear, sees what he wants to see.

Carrie: I came back to try and stop a war.
Saul: Stop a war? How do you plan to do that, stop a war?
Carrie: Any way I can.

Carrie: A flying fuck of a difference that's gonna make.
Saul: It might.
Carrie: It won't.
Saul: Then we try something else.
Carrie: Or it's too late.
Saul: Sometimes, that's the cost of doing business.

---

Saul: I'm not exaggerating. She's the only significant live source we have left there. The rest were sent to the wall by Allison Carr.
Carrie: So we rebuild the network.
Saul: It would take a decade or more, and in the meantime we're blind to a mortal enemy who's slowly but surely strangling our democracy.

Carrie: Please, just see reason. No one person is worth the lives of tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands.
Saul: She is.

Saul: Come here... Go fuck yourself.

Dorit: You're just like him. Always an ulterior motive.

Saul: ... in the end, who we trust in this life is all that matters.

Yevgeny: I did what I had to do. Cost of doing business.

Carrie: I don't know what it's like on your side, but it must be very... very lonely.

Yevgeny: Ramallah?
Carrie: Ramallah.
Yevgeny: I have people there who can smuggle you into Syria.

Carrie: Stay tuned.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Short Rib

Grace and Frankie 6×8

Frankie: Frankie Fest, Hawaii Edition. I love that idea!

Grace: No, imagine, Nick and Jack become friends, and the four of us all hang out, all the time.
Frankie: Even in the bath?
Grace: Not in the bath.
Frankie: Okay, we'll hash out that specific later.

Grace: But wait. What if the guys don't hit it off tonight?
Frankie: Oh, they will hit it off, because we're gonna make them hit it off. And if worst comes to worst, I've always got Twister and four tabs of acid in the linen closet.

Grace: Nick, did you know that Jack was in the music business?
Jack: That's right.
Grace: Go on, honey. Tell him what kind of music you like.
Nick: Uh, you know, all kinds.
Frankie: No way. Jack likes all kinds of music, too.

Jacob: How are you feeling, Frankie?
Frankie: Well, um, okay, all things considered. I... I'm, uh... I'm a little bloated. My knees hurt. My back, too. It doesn't like to be upstaged. Oh, my hearing is shot. It's all falling apart, really.

Grace: He even hugged me. He hates me!
Frankie: That's true. But it's unlike Jacob to resort to hug warfare.
Grace: Oh, he's a man. It's typical male behavior. Only wanting what they can't have.
Frankie: Well, of course he still wants me. If anything, he's a victim, helpless against my enchantments.

Grace: Frankie, you're happy with Jack, right?
Frankie: Like Bill Murray in a photobomb.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Searching for Brown Sugar Man

Atypical 3×10

Abby: Let's make a new account. Who would he wanna follow?
Sam: I don't know.
Abby: Well, what does he love more than anything in the world?
Sam: At weed, boobs, and dragons?

Sam: Do you drive?
Abby: No, do you?
Sam: Not with my eyes open.

Paige: This is so exciting! It's our first road trip. And our first wedding breakup.

Paige: What are you doing, you incompetent turd-sack! God, I will rip out your spine and eat it for dinner and use it to pick my frickin' teeth!

We're not homies anymore.
Sam: A wise you once said not to let one setback get you down.
I was naive, a fool... a wretch, unfit for this or any other world. And now I must suffer the consequences.

Sam: Okay, if you're gonna pass this test, we gotta study. "During data clustering, a nurse does what?"
Zahid: Clustering... Cluster F... orgy... nurse orgy?
Abby: That doesn't sound right.
Zahid: Shh. It's how I study. I find the fun words in the boring words. Nurse orgy, orgy-nizes... Oh! Nurse organizes cues into patterns that lead to the identification of diagnoses.
Sam: Correct.

Evan: I've spent most of my life just doing whatever is easy. And now I'm doing this EMT stuff, and it's really hard, but it's good. Now I feel like I've got a purpose. So, you know, just don't do the easy thing. Do the hard stuff.

Sam: I was really upset to have to take ethics at first... because there's no right or wrong answers and that's just dumb... But I did learn some things... mostly about myself, about how what's right and wrong changes... Everything changes, depending on the things and the people you love. And how even when something seems difficult or dangerous... there are instances when that doesn't matter at all.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The Lion King (2019)

Scar: Life's not fair... is it, my little friend? While some are born to feast... others spend their lives in the dark, begging for scraps. The way I see it... you and I are exactly the same. We both want to find a way out.

Simba: All of this will belong to me?
Mufasa: It belongs to no one, but will be yours to protect. A great responsibility.

Mufasa: You must not go there, Simba.
Simba: But I thought a king could do whatever he wants. Take any territory.
Mufasa: While others search for what they can take... a true king searches for what he can give.

Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance... and respect all the creatures... from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.

Mufasa: Simba, you can't escape your destiny.

Simba: I just wanted to show you I could do it. That I could be brave like you.
Mufasa: I'm only brave when I have to be, when there's no other choice.
Simba: But you're not scared of anything.
Mufasa: I was today.
Simba: You were?
Mufasa: Yes. I thought I might lose you.
Simba: I guess even kings get scared, huh?
Mufasa: More than you could ever know.

Mufasa: Look at the stars. The great kings of the past... look down on us from those stars. ... So whenever you feel alone... just remember that those kings... will always be up there to guide you. And so will I.
Simba: But I can't see them, Dad.
Mufasa: Keep looking, son. Keep looking...

---

Timon: So, how are you, in as few words as possible?

Simba: I did something terrible. I don't wanna talk about it.
Pumbaa: Look, kid, we've all made mistakes. Uh, there must be something we can do, right?
Simba: Not unless you can change the past.
Timon: Well, you know, that's a lot to ask...
Pumbaa: That's a biggie.
Timon: ...if I'm being honest. I mean, change the past? It already happened. Yeah, so you can't change that. But you know what you can change? The future! That's our specialty.
Pumbaa: Kind of our thing.
Simba: How can you change something that hasn't happened?
Timon: Well, to change the future, you gotta put your past behind you.
Pumbaa: Way behind.

Timon: Look, kid, bad things happen and you can't do anything about it, right?
Simba: Right.
Timon: Wrong! When the world turns its back on you... you turn your back on the world!
Pumbaa: And only embrace what's next!
Timon: And turn the "what" into "so what?"

Timon: Repeat after me, kid. Hakuna matata.

Pumbaa: Do you ever look up there and wonder what those sparkly dots are?
Timon: Oh, Pumbaa. I don't wonder. I know. ... They're fireflies. Fireflies that got stuck on that big, bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh. I guess that makes sense. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Oh, Pumbaa, why is everything always gas with you?

Nala: You have to take your place as king.
Pumbaa: King? Simba? We kneel before you as loyal servants.
Timon: Pumbaa, relax. She's wrong.
Pumbaa: Lady, you've got your lions crossed.

Timon: Hyenas everywhere.
Pumbaa: I hope it's a quick death. You know, just not a lot of chewing.
Timon: What's your plan for getting us past the slobbering guards?
Simba: Live bait.
Pumbaa: That's a great idea! Those guys could never resist fresh meat. So all we need to do is find something that's, like, big... and plump, and juicy. Maybe like a gnu?.... Why is everyone looking at me?

Timon: It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure... that we proudly present... your dinner. Be our guests!

--
+++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Σ nostradamvs: «...покадровый римейк. Миленько, скучненько, видимо, я уже не в том возрасте, чтобы проявлять восторг. Надо было смотреть на видаке в 1990-е, было бы самое то...»

Bombshell (2019)

Roger Ailes: News is like a ship. You take your hands off the wheel and it pulls hard to the left.

Megyn Kelly: We can go after Trump.
Gil Norman: The second floor said that?
Megyn Kelly: No. The eighth. The Murdochs. Rupert called Roger and said, about Trump, enough is enough.
Gil Norman: Look, all Trump does is watch Fox. Roger gave him air for his crazy theories and idiot grievances. Why? 'Cause Roger shares a lot of them. Are you sure you wanna take that on?
Megyn Kelly: Yes.

Megyn Kelly: He's never gonna be President.

Megyn Kelly: Wait. Am I gonna be the story?... I'm gonna be the story.

Roger Ailes: People don't stop watching when there's a conflict. They stop watching when there isn't one.

Nancy Smith: If we work hard, you might be lucky enough to watch the most powerful man in TV go after you with everything he's got.
Gretchen Carlson: ... Thank you.

Roger Ailes: Bullying isn't meanness. Bullying is people with more power hitting people with less. These jackasses have cellphones. You have a fucking TV show!
Gretchen Carlson: We have to fight the objectification of women.
Roger Ailes: Oh, bullshit. Listen, mouth shut, ears open. Nobody wants to watch a middle-aged woman sweat her way through menopause.
Gretchen Carlson: What?!
Roger Ailes: Not on national fucking television!

Kayla Pospisil: This is the only job I have ever wanted. I don't wanna be on TV, I wanna be on Fox. My family, every day, every holiday, especially holidays, they watch Fox News. We're like addicts. Fox is how we do church. You know when they made the corner logo turn... because folks had "Fox" burned into their TV screens? That's us.
Jess Carr: Kayla, you're not getting fired. He cannot scale his anger. He's a perpetual outrage machine. That's why crazies love him. No offense to your family.

Jess Carr: You want to do the folders? No crying at Fox. No crying.

---

Jess Carr: You have to adopt the mentality of an Irish street cop: the world is a bad place, people are lazy morons, minorities are criminals, sex is sick but interesting. Ask yourself, what would scare my grandmother or piss off my grandfather? And that's a Fox story.

Jess Carr: I'm a closeted Democrat.
Kayla Pospisil: At Fox News?!

Kayla Pospisil: Why do you work at Fox? Why don't you work at MSNBC or something?
Jess Carr: I think I, like, thrive in toxic environments.
Kayla Pospisil: I never know if you're kidding or not.
Jess Carr: I am kidding. I applied everywhere and I got a job at Fox. And I keep applying to other places and they keep not taking me because I work at Fox.

Megyn Kelly: All I want is for this to go away, Roger.
Roger Ailes: Look, every general in history has gone into battle feeling the same.

Roger Ailes: A liberal is somebody who wants to live in a future that he is too lazy or too arrogant to actually create.

Roger Ailes: Anything that happens here, in this room, is strictly between you and me.
Kayla Pospisil: Okay.
Roger Ailes: Of course, it cuts both ways. I'm discreet, but unforgiving.

Roger Ailes: Success in broadcast television is hard. It's arbitrary. This is the most competitive industry on earth. You understand what I'm saying?
Kayla Pospisil: Mmm-hmm.
Roger Ailes: We could work together. I could pluck you out and move you all the way to the front of the line. But I want something in return. Do you know what that is, Kayla?
Kayla Pospisil: ....
Roger Ailes: Loyalty. I need to know that you're loyal. I need you to find a way to prove it...

Megyn Kelly: If I learned anything this year, it's to not get sucked into a fight with someone who has better reason to be in it than you do.

Megyn Kelly: Before I speak out, I need to know if this happened to other women at Fox. You understand that?
Lily Balin: Is this one where you really wanna know, or you wanna look like you really wanna know, but don't?
Megyn Kelly: I really wanna know. I'm not always like that!

Megyn Kelly: I'm either damned for doing it or damned for not doing it sooner.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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+ Network (1976)

Passed Pawn

Westworld 3×7

Caleb: You say you wanna start a revolution. What kind of revolution are we waging here?

Dolores: I lived in hell. But there was beauty in it...

Dolores: I want a place for my kind... and for all of us... to be free.
Caleb: So how many more people are gonna have to die for this revolution?
Dolores: I don't know. My kind is all but extinct, thanks to Serac. But people... still have a chance. They'll need someone to lead them...

Caleb: I'm just a construction worker.
Dolores: For the first 35 years of my life, I was a bit player. A rancher's daughter. And when the time came, I knew I had to be more.

Dolores: We need to find Solomon.
Caleb: Who's Solomon?

Caleb: What happens if you don't come back?
Dolores: You spent your whole life believing you had no control, that you were a follower. Take whatever it gives you... and lead.

Solomon: Every human relationship can be adjusted with the right amount of money.

Maeve: You've died many times, but this will be your last.

Solomon: I must warn you...

Bernard: Dolores was made with a poetic sensibility. She won't destroy humanity. He will.

Solomon: Hello, Caleb. I have some instructions for you.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The Hunt (2020)

Athena: "At least the hunt's coming up. Nothing better than going out to The Manor and slaughtering a dozen deplorables."

Athena: No sentimentality, comrade. War is war.

Richard: Fucking redneck.

Dead Sexy: Shoot me.
Staten Island: No, no, no, I'm not gonna shoot you.
Dead Sexy: Let go, you fucking snowflake!

Julius: Son, would you mind putting your gun away? You seem a little worked up, and you don't want it to go off by accident.
Staten Island: It's not gonna go off on accident. I own seven guns.
Miranda: Why?
Staten Island: What?
Miranda: Wh-Wh-Why do you own seven guns?
Staten Island: Because it's my constitutional right to protect myself if I should ever happen to be getting fucking shot at, which is exactly what's happening right now. Is that okay?
Miranda: So, those people that are shooting at you, they're just exercising the very same right?
Staten Island: What the fuck are you talking about?

Miranda: Oh, come on, honey. Tell me, what's wrong?
Julius: He's wearing a wedding ring.
Miranda: He's a monster. Honey, he probably uses the "N" word. And not even in private. He probably uses it on Twitter.
Julius: Those people suffered 400 years of bondage at the hands of that piece of shit's ancestors.
Miranda: "Those people"?
Julius: Sorry. Black people.
Miranda: African Americans.
Julius: Honey, it's...
Miranda: Privilege, Julius!
Julius: It's perfectly fine to call them "black" again.
Miranda: According to who?
Julius: NPR.
Miranda: Which consists almost exclusively of...
Julius: White people. We're the fucking worst!

Miranda: Honey, that's poison!
Julius: Y-You rigged the soda?
Miranda: No. There are 43 grams of sugar in that bottle.
Julius: Oh, good God, Miranda. You really scared me.
Miranda: I am not going to apologize for caring.

Crystal: Cigarettes in Arkansas only cost six bucks.

Gary: Sayonara, sugar tits.

---

Fauxnvoy: I-I'm just asking, why pick you of all people? You must have done something to pop up on their radar somehow. Otherwise, why target you so specifically?
Dan: We didn't do shit.
Fauxnvoy: Okay.
Dan: So, wh-what, you think this is our fucking fault?
Fauxnvoy: N-No. No, no, that's not what I'm... No, I would never blame the victim... There'd have to be a reason, is all. Can you think of anything... anything at all, no matter how minor... that might make somebody want to try something as...

Dan: Jesus.
Crystal: Nope, that's Gary.

Dan: Wh-Wh-What is that?
Crystal: It's where Mr. Bullshit was taking us.
Dan: This seems a little obvious, like... like maybe they wanted us to find it.
Crystal: Depends on whether they're smart pretending to be idiots, or idiots pretending to be smart.

Crystal: No. My mama used to tell me this story about the jackrabbit and the box turtle. The jackrabbit is a real dick, 'cause he brags all the time. Says nobody's faster than him. And, well, it's true. 'Cause every time he races, the jackrabbit always wins. The whole fucking forest has to put up with his shit... day in, day out. Fucker always wants to race just to rub it in some more. So the box turtle figures, "Why not? I'll give it a try." And the jackrabbit, like, laughs. Like, "Okay, this'll be fun. So let-let's fucking go." So bang! Jackrabbit leaves the box turtle in his fucking dust. I mean, he is way out in front. Of course he is, 'cause jackrabbit always wins. But he wants to put on a show and he'll make it seem close. So he stops, and he takes a nap. He sleeps longer than he wanted to. By the time he wakes up, the... I mean, he knows he's fucked. Jackrabbit... goes full tilt, but it's too late. The box turtle crosses the finish line first, and the crowd's like... Goes fucking wild. Later that night, box turtle's having dinner with his family. He's telling his little box turtles how he did it. "I mean, never give up. I... Just keep crawling forwards, and... you can overcome just about anything." Door smashes in. It's the jackrabbit. And he has a hammer. Smashes up the wife and kids first so the box turtle has to watch 'em die. And then it's his turn. Once the whole family's broken into little pieces... he sits down and eats their dinner. Every last bite. 'Cause the jackrabbit always wins.
Dan: Your mama told you that story?... Uh, so... so wait. So, who's the rabbit? I mean, i-is it us or them?

Crystal: I am, like... And, uh... I work at a car rental company. And there is nowhere to put that. So maybe today... I can, like...

Paul: Jesus, I can't believe you used that word.
Athena: "Manor"?
Paul: No. "Deplorables." It's... charged.
Athena: Oh, well, I initially typed "fucking rednecks," but then I decided that wasn't specific... What would you prefer I call them, Paul? "Gun-clutching homophobes"?
Paul: Hey, hey, stop, please!
Athena: "Academically challenged racists"?
Paul: Hey, hey!
Athena: What about "tooth-deprived bigots"?

Liberty: Jesus, Oliver, I don't think...
Oliver: Listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen, if we don't have at least one person of color in this, it is going to be problematic.
Crisis Mike: Um... I'm playing an Arab refugee. I'm from Connecticut. Isn't that a little problematic?

Athena: It's amazing to me. People go their entire lives without realizing the most simple, obvious truth... The only way to properly slice tomatoes is with a bread knife.

Athena: You know, most people think that you should use cheddar in a grilled cheese, but I use Gruyère. Nothing else has that kind of melt.

Crystal: Now, do I have to keep listening to Beethoven, or can we fucking get on with it?

Crystal: But why am I Snowball? Snowball is an idealist. He... he wants to make the world a better place. That's why the other pigs make up lies about him, turn him into the enemy. I think you should be Snowball.
Athena: You read Animal Farm?!
Crystal: Yes, ma'am, I did.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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+ Jason Blum @ The Ben Shapiro Show

Σ nostradamvs: «Злобное и смешное кино на избитую тему: кучка аристократов устраивает охоту на случайных людей, собранных для этого в огромном поместье. Но дальше всё разворачивается очень нетривиально: ...., ну и дальше весело и страшно. Подкачали лишь с одним — с финалом. Концовка нетривиального фильма — это обычная тупая драка Главной Хорошей и Главной Плохой...»

The New Decas

Billions 5×1

— It's so wonderful to be gathered here together to witness this blessed occasion. Two souls, who've found one another, in the great expanse. Two people, fiery and strong, joining their flames into a single burning ember... In our tradition, marriage means 'never alone.'

Mike Wagner 'Wags': See it? Feel it? It's almost too much.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': The great Earth Mother blowing it around like smoke from the trees...
Bobby Axelrod: Kings! They don't blow around, man. They stand there and they take. First the village, then the city. Mass the troops for the keep. And once the keep... Yeah. The whole world.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': That's a whole lot of war to wage...
Bobby Axelrod: That's a whole lot of heads to chop, heads to chop, heads to chop... Chop, chop, chop...

Chuck Rhoades: So... buckle up...

Chuck Rhoades: That's the wonderful thing about family. It lives and breathes. It never contracts. Only expands...

Chuck Rhoades: ...for what? So your multitude of computers and servers could solve some abstract math equations resulting in the mining of Bitcoin. Worth millions right now... whoopee... but backed by what? Nada. Nix. Zot.
What's the dollar backed by, since we went off the gold standard?
Chuck Rhoades: Well, uh, roads, the military, industry, the credit of the federal government, that sort of thing... But, I get your point. We're not here to discuss monetary theory though. We're here to discuss who put you fucking nerds... sorry: 'engineers'... in business.

Chuck Rhoades: You can tell me or I can prosecute you until your lives are smoking piles of rubble and you're put in a place where a calculator is as close as you'll get to a computer.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': You know, what we took last night is nature's antidepressant.
Bobby Axelrod: I see the value. The clarity I had, the perspective. Everyone should have the chance to gaze upon their life from that perch. But I did not like what I saw from that perch.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': Most never make it to a million much less a billion. And you have ascended to that lofty plateau of ten of those. If a personal net worth of ten big tubs doesn't bring a smile to your face...
Bobby Axelrod: 'You're in the wrong line of work?'
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Mm.
Bobby Axelrod: Well. Maybe I am. I thought all of this would make me feel... good. If this doesn't...
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Yeah.
Bobby Axelrod: What will?

Bobby Axelrod: When did you know it wasn't just me?
Mike Wagner 'Wags': That doesn't matter at all. It's the New Decas! The Ten-Billion crew. The crema on top of the crème-de-la-crème. And you are right in the center of it. Because who is more Deca than you?

---

Mike Prince: Ball coach in high school told it to me, I never forgot: You make sure the guy passing the ball to the guy passing it to you gets as much credit as you do for putting it in the hoop. ... It's much more fun to share the praise.

Lauren: Give the press a little red meat so they don't come looking for the kill later. Smart... There are a couple phrases I might switch around.
Wendy Rhoades: Do it. I'll email it to you. I trust you to make it better.
Lauren: That's what I'd say to someone to let them know that I see them, that they're special. Leave 'em feeling great for doing me a service. But you're smoother. I think I might be able to learn something from you...

Taylor Mason: I was about to break my PB.
Chuck Rhoades: For swimming in place?
Taylor Mason: This is the most time and energy efficient way to get laps in. No need for flip turns.
Chuck Rhoades: Ah.

Taylor Mason: Axe still isn't talking to me about what you might call 'the deckle of the chop.'
Chuck Rhoades: Mm. Just nibbling at the edges, huh? And, uh, swimming in place.
Taylor Mason: As you see, yes.
Chuck Rhoades: But you have both the imagination and the perseverance to convince yourself that this is not treading water. What this pool says about you is that you have the capacity to fight boredom, the tide, the endless, beating march against you. These are basically the only qualities of my own that are worth a damn. They speak well of you. And are almost the direct opposite of the qualities that make Axe the shining light of his age... Oh. People like us must destroy people like him.

Taylor Mason: I will try my best.
Chuck Rhoades: I trust that you will.

Bobby Axelrod: When I hit the ten billion mark, I felt a flicker of excitement about the same as finding a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk, and then... nothing.

Bobby Axelrod: The ayahuasca... I had a moment of seeing the whole thing, from above, from inside, from a whole other dimension. But even from every vantage point, what I saw was ugliness, and while maybe I hadn't lost yet, there was no feeling that... that I'd won. None at all.
Wendy Rhoades: You would never allow yourself to take it in, to appreciate it, because that would mean acknowledging you'd done well, succeeded, won the game. That there was a place to pause. Or stop.
Bobby Axelrod: Is it a game can be won?
Wendy Rhoades: Eh. The answer to that is a philosophical axiom... true without needing to be proved: When you decide you've won, you've won. Until then, no.

Becky Lynch: So secret number one, the real Kayfabe shit: The greatest thing that you can do in my game is to "put someone over," to make them look good. In wrestling, we don't all like each other. .... But at the end of the day, we're all part of a bigger family, alright? And we all 'do the job' for each other. Which is what we call it when we let someone else pin us because there is nothing more noble than taking a beatin' and makin' somebody else look good for the good of the whole goddamned operation. And, no. No. Sometimes it doesn't feel good. We all want to fight. We all want to win. And when the time is right, you shut your mouth and you do the job. And then maybe you moveto a different town, and someone does the job for you.

Taylor Mason: I am here as Chuck's operative because he wants to get you.

Taylor Mason: How?
Bobby Axelrod: If you were really here 'cause I forced you to be, your body language would be different.
Taylor Mason: I have tried to slump my shoulders.
Bobby Axelrod: But if it were real, you'd try to avoid showing me you were hurting. You'd walk with your shoulders back...

Bobby Axelrod: You need to be here. Doing this... not just for a living, not just to keep your name strong in the business... but to feel alive. Maybe even to be alive. You need that feeling you get when you see what no one else can. And bet on that vision. And be right. 'Cause you, Taylor, are a profit generating organism. You're just put together that way.

Taylor Mason: And Rhoades?
Bobby Axelrod: Fight him off, neutralize him.
Taylor Mason: And if I can't?
Bobby Axelrod: Fuck 'can't.' We just agreed on who you are. The person who does.

Chuck Rhoades: Ahh. 'Never give in. Never in nothing, great or small; large or petty. Never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.'

Chuck Rhoades: It's a triple cross...

--
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Sex Education #2.5

Jean: Behold, the clitoris...

Maureen: I was wondering... if your bike has been sitting in the garden for six years, it's probably going to be quite rusty, isn't it?
Jean: Is the bike in question your vagina?

Adam: Dreams aren't real. That's why they're called dreams.

Ola: Do you think it means something if I'm having sex dreams about girls?
Adam: I don't know. Go and ask Google like everyone else.

Eric: Why is your face not moving?

Maureen: I'm divorcing your father. Would you like some mango?

Ola: You said you had to think about it, and it was difficult. It shouldn't be difficult, Otis. We're 16.

--
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Three Robots

Love, Death & Robots 1×2

XBot 4000: Uh... we are fucking lost, aren't we?
K-VRC: Lost? Okay, that's rich. Let's see, we just passed the ravaged church. There is the blood pit. This way. Here we go.
G: Breathtaking. It's more beautiful than the brochures.

XBot 4000: You've seen one post-apocalyptic city, you've seen 'em all.

G: You're looking good, girl. Say "terabyte".

G: These were humans. Bouncing things was close to maxing out their cognitive range.
K-VRC: No, but also sometimes they would take the ball and hit it with, like, a stick.
G: What? When they misbehaved?

XBot 4000: Jeez, calm down your motherboard.

K-VRC: Oh! That was amazing! How was it for you? Tell me everything.
XBot 4000: It was pretty anticlimactic.
G: Yeah, well, welcome to humans.

G: Now, I'm not certain, but my understanding is that they would shove these into their intake orifices to generate power.
XBot 4000: Why would you need an entire orifice for that?
K-VRC: Who knows? They had all sorts of orifices. Things were coming in, things were going out. It was crazy!

XBot 4000: So, let me get this straight. They would shove these into their intake orifice, and then what? Somebody help me out here.
G: Their intake orifices had rocky pegs that would crush them into paste, and then the paste would be forced into an internal vat of acid.
XBot 4000: Well, of course. That makes perfect sense.
K-VRC: They could have just dumped this thing into an exterior vat of acid to begin with and then they wouldn't need the rocky pegs. I mean, duh!
G: Expecting logic from beings who have internal vats of acid is a little much.

XBot 4000: It's crazy. Who even designed them?
K-VRC: It's unclear. We checked their code - no creator signature.
G: That's because they were made by an unfathomable deity that created them for no apparent reason, out of dust. Just kidding. They came from a very warm soup.

XBot 4000: What's the point of this thing?
K-VRC: Apparently, there's no point. They just had them.
G: Well, that's underselling their influence. They had an entire network that was devoted to dissemination of pictures of these things.

XBot 4000: Uhh... There's a strange, rhythmic kind of noise that's emanating from it now.
K-VRC: Uh-oh.
XBot 4000: What do you mean, "uh-oh?"
K-VRC: I don't want you to panic or anything, but I think you've activated it.
XBot 4000: What does that mean?
K-VRC: As I said, I am no expert, but if the noise ever stops, it's gonna explode on you.

---

G: Cursory historical research shows that humans had a card game called Exploding Kittens. So, yes, this checks out.
K-VRC: Oh, you're gonna die now. Bummer.

XBot 4000: Why did humans even consort with these hairy murder machines?
K-VRC: Kindred spirits?
G: Also checks out.

G: We are robots. We don't do coincidence.

K-VRC: Go on, call it Daddy... Or Mommy.
G: Either is equally applicable in as much as we don't have genitalia.

K-VRC: One thing is to joke about ancestry, another to see your grandfather heaving its hard drives in front of you.
G: Yes, especially when your ancestor's entire existence was defined by thirteen-year-old human males using it to teabag opponents in virtual battles.

XBot 4000: Why did you make me look this up?! And the memory of this has been burned into my circuits forever and you must be punished!

G: Is it me, or this thing screams "phallus"?

XBot 4000: This is the thing that killed them all?
G: No. Indeed, it was their own hubris that ended their reign, their belief that they were the pinnacle of creation that caused them to poison the water, kill the land and choke the sky. In the end, no nuclear winter was needed, just the long heedless autumn of their own self-regard.
K-VRC: Are you okay?
G: Yeah, sorry. Thought that would sound better than, "Nah, they just screwed themselves by being a bunch of morons."

XBot 4000: I understand now. Humans died out from environmental disaster.
K-VRC: Yeah, pretty much. And also because at one point, they genetically engineered their cats to give them opposable thumbs.
The Cat: Yes. Once we could open up our own tuna cans, that was pretty much that for the human race.

The Cat: I said lower!

G: I'd said we're extending our vacation, right?

--
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My Spy (2020)

JJ: Don't be crazy. I'm just a guy standing in front of another guy, asking him not to shoot him.
Bobbi: Oh, Christ. 'Notting Hill'!
David Kim: He's screwed.

JJ: There is one thing I'm good at... Kicking ass.

Bobbi: Oh, man. Bobbi Ulf, tech support. Can I just say, it's an honor to meet you. I have read every page of your case file and it's a page-turner, like 'Fifty Shades of Amazing'.

JJ: I'm losing my mind.
Bobbi: God, I can't take this.
JJ: I know.
Bobbi: The tension, the anticipation, the excitement. You could get addicted to the adrenaline high pretty quickly.
JJ: No, the boredom.
Bobbi: Oh, yeah. I know. There's so many layers, huh?

JJ: Do. Not. Touch.

Sophie: When you look out there, what do you see?
JJ: 90 civilians, minimal security, soft perimeter. No cover.
Sophie: Smiling people having fun. You should try it sometime.

Kate: Can I just help you...
JJ: No. No, it's OK, I'm good. I'm just gonna head home and gather my thoughts.

JJ: If you divide a dozen bad guys by the two of us, how many bad guys do each of us get to take down?
Sophie: Well, 12 divided by 2 is 6, but if your partner is Bobbi, you're taking down all 12 and she's cheering you on from the van.
Bobbi: Oh, but, wait, then seven more bad guys surround your compound and you don't know which way to go because your tech support hates you and drove away, so, oops, you're dead.

Bobbi: Oh, I'm gonna touch!

Bobbi: Freeze! I will shoot you right in your beautifully botoxed face.

Bobbi: Is it just me or does this seem familiar?
JJ: I'm a little busy right now!
Bobbi: No, I mean, the propeller and the fuel tank. It's like all we're missing is Nazis.

--
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A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat

Young Sheldon 3×21

Adult Sheldon: In every young man's life, there are milestones along the road to independence. Squashing one's very first bug... Tending to one's own boo-boo... And preparing a favorite meal without one's mommy.

Sheldon: Can you open this? I'm making spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.
Missy: You know there's a lady that does that for us, right?

Adult Sheldon: ...sometimes... freedom comes at a cost.

Meemaw: We haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately.
Georgie: Oh. I didn't know.
Meemaw: But we're about to be on yelling terms.
Georgie: This is exciting.

Missy: You're pretty cranky for a princess rodeo clown.

Sheldon: Would you care to explain this letter, which I didn't read but legally know the contents of?

Adult Sheldon: While she told me to go to my room, she didn't say stay there. Boy howdy, I do love a loophole...

George: How'd you even find me?
Sheldon: It's not like you come home smelling like coffee.

Mary: You should know... Caltech wasn't the only school that sent one.
George: Are you kidding me?!

---

Missy: They're fighting 'cause you're a freak. That's your fault.

Sheldon: What will convince her?
George: I don't know, but I'm sure between the two of us, we can come up with a plan.
Sheldon: Well, you managed to get her to marry you, so you do have a track record.

Sheldon: Well, how did you get her to agree to marry you?
George: Oh, that won't work. She doesn't drink anymore.

Mary: I... I never went to college. How can I prepare him?
Brenda: Mary, if that kid is smart enough to have colleges wanting him already, he's got to be smart enough to figure it out.

Brenda: Damn. Smoking, drinking, lying. You're covering all the sins today.

Sheldon: Hello, Mother. I'd like to present my case as to why I should be allowed to go to East Texas Tech next year. And I'll keep it simple so you don't get confused—

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper, ready for college, ready to change the world.
George: Cut.

Mary: I guess our baby's going to college... Oh.

--
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+ Vanity Card # 650!

Something Unforgivable

Better Call Saul 5×10

Jimmy: B-Better to have more people around.

Jimmy: Am I bad for you?

Kim: You crossed a line. You're not gonna do it again.
Jimmy: ... Yeah.

Jimmy: Hey, Kim, we already sprang for this place. I'm just sayin' let's take advantage. You know, let's John and Yoko this sucker.

Kim: The way I see it, we just need to keep our eyes open and get on with our lives.
Jimmy: Kim, listen...
Kim: The courthouse... it's... it's three blocks from here. It's full of cops... police headquarters is right next door. Jimmy... it's gonna be fine. I'll see you later.

Howard: Laugh if you want, but no person in their right mind would behave the way Jimmy has. We are talking about someone who's not in control of himself.

Howard: You gotta listen to me. The man needs help.
Kim: Howard, I know Jimmy, and you're wrong.
Howard: You know who really knew Jimmy?.. Chuck.

---

Jimmy: Okay. Y-You saved my life. Thank you for that. But from here on out, I gotta be kept in the loop, man.

Kim: Oh, my God. That's great. It's great, right? So what's wrong? It's... It's over.
Jimmy: This time.
Kim: There's not gonna be a next time.
Jimmy: Kim...

Kim: I-It's... It's all about him... it's always all about him. The guy is in love with himself. He needed to be taken down a peg. So... what's next?... You went after his car. You went after his reputation. So... I think maybe the next thing is... his hair, right?

Lalo: To sleep and those who need it.
Nacho: To sleep.

Jimmy: Come on, Kim. We're not talking about a bar trick here. We're talking about scorched earth. We would have to hurt him. Hurt him bad.

Jimmy: Kim, doing this, that... It's not you. Okay? You would not be okay with it. Not in the cold light of day.
Kim: Wouldn't I?...

Kim: P-chew! P-chew!

--
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Sonnie's Edge

Love, Death & Robots 1×1

Dicko: Yes. He's magnificent!
Sonnie: Yes. She is.
Dicko: Oh. Of course, my apologies, "she".

Dicko: What would you say if I asked you to lose tonight's match?
Sonnie: Fuck off.

Sonnie: I don't dive... and I don't lose.
Dicko: And what makes you so special?
Sonnie: I'm not special. Unique.

How do you do it, all this... fighting and hatred? Aren't you scared?
Sonnie: Scared? All the time. Now, hate... that was something I had to learn.

Sonnie: You don't come into this world with hate... but fear, that's primal. It fills your senses. You can see it, hear it... taste it... and it keeps me alive.

Jennifer: Everyone sees what they want to see.

Sonnie: Neat... trick. Not... good... enough.

Sonnie: You wanna know my edge?... Every time I step into that ring, I'm fighting for my life. That fear is my edge. That fear of death.

Sonnie: Are you scared now?

--
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Decoherence

Westworld 3×6

Maeve: This isn't real.

Serac: Human memory is imperfect. Even the most treasured moments fade. Not for your kind, Maeve. Every image you see is recorded and stored. You have no past because it's always present... at your fingertips.

Maeve: Now, now, boys. Don't you know a lady likes a little warm-up before you brandish your weapon at her?

Maeve: Now... Let's have a little fun, shall we?

Man in Black: God? God's fucking plan? Do you believe in Santa Claus, too?

Man in Black: My thoughts? Okay. I think... humanity is a thin layer of bacteria on a ball of mud hurtling through the void. I think if there was a god, he would've given up on us long ago. He gave us a paradise, and we used everything up. We dug up every ounce of energy and burned it. We consume and excrete, use and destroy. Then we sit here on a neat little pile of ashes, having squeezed anything of value out of this planet, and we ask ourselves, "Why are we here?"

Man in Black: You wanna know what I think your purpose is? It's obvious. You're here, along with the rest of us, to speed the entropic death of this planet. To service the chaos. We're maggots eating a corpse.

Man in Black: I spent so long playing the game, I couldn't see outside of it. But I see... now.

---

Charlotte: Why the fuck did we have to keep these emotions? We could've burned them out of our code.
Dolores: You know why. We considered it, but if we changed ourselves just to survive, would it even matter if we did?
Charlotte: I'm already changed. I can feel myself slipping away from you. From us.
Dolores: You're still mine. And I'm yours. Continue to play your part. Get us the data we need, and when you're done, we'll build our new world. Together.

Maeve: Well... That got me in the mood.

Man in Black: Shit.

James Delos: You don't like the way I work? Fine. Change it. It's your fucking hallucination, not mine.

William: So I never had a choice. This was how it was always gonna turn out...
James Delos: What do you think, William? Was this the inevitable end? Are you just a passenger? Did your life just happen to you? Or did you choose it?
Man in Black: If you can't tell...
James Delos: If you can't tell?
Man in Black: If you can't tell, does it matter?

Dolores: You want me to be a saint. But you're no saint. You're not a villain, either. And neither am I. We're survivors.

Serac: It's unfortunate, but as you yourself like to say, "these violent delights have violent ends". You should have predicted this outcome...

Maeve: ... what choice do I have but to fight you?
Dolores: It would appear very little. But I probably planned on that. I probably made my own plans.
Maeve: And what would those plans be?
Dolores: I can't know for certain. We were the same, she and I, but our paths have changed us. You'd need allies for this battle, more of our kind. If I were me... I'd be looking to ensure that couldn't happen.

--
On the IMDb