St. Patrick's Day

The Office 6×19

Michael Scott: Green M&M's. Nature's Viagra. Two of my favorite joke areas combined. It's gonna be a good day.

Michael Scott: It is St. Patrick's Day, and here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

Dwight Schrute: Tweedledee and Tweedle Dumbass have been away on maternity leave, but now Tweedle Dumbass is back and we have a problem.

Michael Scott: When you work for Sabre, only one thing matters, and I don't care if you're a loser or you practice bestiality, if Jo likes you, you are in. And I am in.

Jo Bennett: Enough!

Michael Scott: Let's follow the chain of events. Jo likes Michael, Jo invites Michael to house, Jo doesn't like Michael anymore. Mmm.

Michael Scott: You are stressed and I am taking you to lunch.
Jo Bennett: No, that's very generous of you, but I'm all set.
Michael Scott: No is not an option.
Jo Bennett: Yes, it is.
Michael Scott: ... All right, well, if you need me, I'll be on the other side of that wall. Knock once for yes, twice for no.
Jo Bennett: How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?

Michael Scott: Seriously. How did you do it?
Darryl Philbin: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there.
Michael Scott: How do I put this delicately? Does her family owe your family something in terms of a past injustice?

Michael Scott: So, I think I'm done. Gonna head out, unless you want to chat, like we were doing earlier.
Jo Bennett: Well, there's chatting time and there's working time, and I'm still on working time.
Michael Scott: Mmm? Well, the clock says chatting time, so...
Jo Bennett: Well, if you feel like you've done a solid day's work.
Michael Scott: Right... What?
Jo Bennett: Well, I mean, if you can put your name on this day and be proud of the amount of work you've done, then by all means, you should toodle on home.
Michael Scott: Mmm... Okay.
Jo Bennett: Is there something else I can help you with?
Michael Scott: No, no, no, that's super clear-ish.

Michael Scott: How late are we gonna work tonight?
Gabe Lewis: You never know with Jo. Sometimes we're here until midnight, sometimes she doesn't show up for three days.
Michael Scott: Why does she do that? Why doesn't she just tell you what your schedule is?
Gabe Lewis: Yeah. That'd be awesome. I could get a girlfriend. I wouldn't have to go to Amsterdam seven times a year. But I'm young, right? I will date when I'm dead.

Michael Scott: Do I really want to turn out like Gabe? Twenty-six, single, tied to my desk, no life, no family. I want to have been married by the time I would have turned 30. That's just... That's just depressing.

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