Fun Run

The Office 4×1

Michael Scott: This is going to be a very good year. Very good... Jan is at home. Jim is back. My protégé Ryan is at corporate. Good stuff. Andy and Dwight are rocking the sales team. I feel very blessed...

Michael Scott: So Ryan got promoted to corporate where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly... large pond. So, who is the real boss, the dog or a fish?

Michael Scott: I love my employees even though I hit one of you with my car, for which I take full responsibility.

Michael Scott: Look, I'm just trying to take everybody's mind off of this unavoidable tragedy and on to more positive things, so I thought we should plant a tree.
Jim Halpert: Oh, good. At least we don't have to work.

Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes, I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael Scott: I hate hospitals. In my mind, they are associated with sickness.

Michael Scott: You know what I was thinking might be sort of fun, is if you forgave me in front of everybody.
Meredith Palmer: Michael, I'm not going to do that.
Michael Scott: 'Cause you know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness? Forgiveness is next to godliness.

Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

Michael Scott: Man, what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident, and then... Prinkles! God... That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we need to do something about it.

Michael Scott: Well, I am taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car.

Michael Scott: I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious... Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?

Michael Scott: Is there a God? If not, what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus' dad?

Angela Martin: Pssst... I'm having relationship problems, and since you're always having relationship problems, I thought you'd be able to give me some advice.
Pam Beesly: What's wrong?

Jim Halpert: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam Beesly: Well, I'm going to start fast. Then I'm going to run fast in the middle. Then I'm going to end fast.
Jim Halpert: Why won't more people do that?
Pam Beesly: 'Cause they're stupid.

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+ Quotes on the IMDb