Beach Games

The Office 3×22

David Wallace: Michael? I am calling to see if you would come down and interview for a job we have opening up in corporate. ....
Michael Scott: Wow. I wish I had prepared something to say.
David Wallace: That's not necessary.
May God guide you in your quest.
Michael Scott: David Wallace: .... Yes.

Michael Scott: What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away?.. I will answer your question with a question. It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.

Pam Beesly: You want me to write down people's indefinable qualities?
Michael Scott: I want you to write down everything that people are doing all day and then type it up in a way that is helpful. All right?

Pam Beesly: I have the most boring job in the office. So why wouldn't I have the most boring job on Beach Day?

Michael Scott: We are all participating in mandatory fun activities. Funtivities. And there is a special secret prize for the winner.
Dwight Schrute: Yes! Funtivities!! I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach!!
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm's turning people off.

Michael Scott: Jim Halpert. Pros: Smart, cool, good-looking. Remind you of anybody you know?.. Cons: Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project, and he will finish the same project in half an hour. So that should tell you something...

Michael Scott: Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.

Michael Scott: Stanley, your team name?
Stanley Hudson: I don't care what you call my team.
Michael Scott: Then I will name your team the Red Team.
Stanley Hudson: No, the Blue Team.

Michael Scott: I am also considering Stanley because of all the good that black people have done for America.

Stanley Hudson: I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on.

Michael Scott: I knew that finding a successor would be difficult. I did not know that it would be impossible.

Michael Scott: Who's ahead in points?
Pam Beesly: I think they're even. At various times you gave Jim 10 points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs-up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.
Michael Scott: Well, check to see if there is a conversion chart in that notebook.
Pam Beesly: I really doubt it, Michael.
Michael Scott: Please, just check!

Michael Scott: You know what? If I had to pick my replacement based on today, it would be Mr. Outside Hire.
Angela Martin: Or Mrs. Outside Hire.
Michael Scott: Yeah. 'True.'

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