The Lunar Excitation*
Season 3, Episode 23
Howard: What for? It's not going to rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a "bazinga," right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?
& Howard: Oh, Raj, no. Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women, so we don't have to peep through windows.
Raj: It's not like that. I'm watching someone's TV. The Good Wife
is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy
.& Leonard: Hey, you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment? Penny.
Sheldon: I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing. Although, I suppose the retro-reflector left on the moon by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.
& Raj: Why don't you ask her to come up?
Leonard: I don't know, it's still a little weird since, you know...
Howard: She dumped you?
Leonard: She didn't dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.
Sheldon: I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographic location.
& Leonard: So, how'd you two guys meet?
Zack: My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: Your company?
Zack: Well... my dad, but... but me and my sister are VPs.
Leonard: So... menus...
Zack: I know it sounds easy but there's a lot of science that goes in designing one.
& Leonard: Let me explain what we're doing here. Um, in 1969, the astronauts on Apollo 11 positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon, and we're going to shoot a laser off one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier.
Zack: Oh! That's very cool. One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.
Sheldon 2 Leonard: See, now this is a man for Penny.
& Leonard: That's a great question, Zack.
Sheldon: No, it's not. It's not a great question. How could somebody possibly think we're going to blow up the moon? That's a great question.
& Zack: That's your big experiment? All that for a line on the screen?
Leonard: Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
Zack: What species is that?
Sheldon: I was wrong. Penny can do better.
& Raj 2 Leonard: I'm telling you, dude, the only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
Howard: Horse. The phrase is "get back on the horse," not "whores."
Raj: That's disgusting*, dude.
Howard: No, it's not... Never mind. He is right, though.
& Howard: If you want, I can turn you on to this great new dating site I found.
Leonard: No, thanks.
Howard: You sure? They say they can find a match for anybody.
Leonard: Have they found a match for you?
Howard: Tons. I've had, like, eight dates in the last month. And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left.
& Sheldon: I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: All right, let me restate that. It's very heavy, and I don't want to.
Leonard: I'll help you.
Sheldon: Thank you. Lift with your knees, not your back.
& Raj: You know what would be fun? Signing Sheldon up for online dating.
{ О.о Плохая идея. }
& Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard.
Leonard: Are you drunk?
Penny: Zack was a perfectly nice guy, and then you ruined him!
Leonard: How did I ruin him?
Penny: 'Cause in the olden days, I never would've known he was so stupid.
Leonard: Come on, he wasn't that stupid.
Penny: Yes, he was! He thought you were gonna blow up the moon!
Leonard: Okay, yeah, he's stupid.
Penny: He spent the entire night bragging about how he invented the word "appe-tease."
Leonard: How is that my fault?
Penny: You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots. Now, come with me.
Leonard: Wh-Where are we going?
Penny: We're gonna have sex.
Leonard: Why? I mean, okay!
Sheldon: What's going on?
Penny: Put on your noise-canceling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Sheldon: Oh! Not this again.
& Sheldon: Good morning, Penny.
Penny: What, do you have eyes in the back of your head?
Sheldon: When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as "one."
& Sheldon: FYI, my noise-canceling headphones proved ineffective last night.
Penny: Yeah, sorry about that.
Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say I've never heard the phrase "yee-haw" used in quite that context.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: "Oh, God." That I've heard on multiple occasions.
& Sheldon: This has to be the worst day of my life.
{ Если б только Шелдон знал, что ждет его впереди... }
& Sheldon: Good morning, Leonard.
Leonard: How many times have I asked you not to do that?
Sheldon: Counting this instance? 317.
Leonard: Where's Penny?
Sheldon: She returned to her apartment. I presume to shower and vomit. Not necessarily in that order.
Leonard: I wonder why she didn't say good-bye.
Sheldon: Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior?
& Penny: Leonard, last night was a mistake.
Leonard: When you say "mistake," do you mean a fortunate mistake, like the discovery of penicillin?
Penny: Look, I'm sorry. I was drunk, I was lonely, I hated Zack. Can we just forget it ever happened?
Leonard: No! It's pretty well imprinted on my brain. Especially the whole rodeo thing.
Penny: Oh, God!
& Penny: I said I'm sorry. Can't you please let it go?
Leonard: How am I supposed to let it go? You used me for sex! Khm. Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.
Mrs. Gunderson: Good morning, Leonard. Or should I say "yee-haw"?
& Raj: Come on, Sheldon, where's your scientific curiosity?
Sheldon: Well, most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you.
& Sheldon: I don't drink coffee.
Howard: All right, you can have a hot chocolate.
Sheldon: As I will not be engaging in this nonsense, my choice of beverage is moot*. But for the record, I only drink hot chocolate in months with an "R" in them.
Howard: Why?!
Sheldon: What's life without whimsy*?
& Penny: Oh. Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: I was a perfectly happy, geeky, little lonely guy, and you ruined me!
Penny: Are you drunk?
Leonard: Come on. We're gonna have sex, and it's not gonna mean a thing!
Penny: Are you out of your mind?!
Leonard: I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here.
& Sheldon: In a few minutes, when I gloat* over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so"? The classic "neener-neener*"? Or just my normal look of haughty* derision*?
Raj: You don't know we're wrong yet.
Sheldon: Haughty derision it is.
& Amy Farrah Fowler: Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.
Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?
{ O.O }
Amy Farrah Fowler: Tepid* water, please.
Raj: Good God, what have we done?
-- Dict:
Excitation — Возбуждение
disgusting — отвратительно
moot — спорный
whimsy — каприз; прихоть
gloat — злорадство; злорадствовать
neener-neener — Word of jest or teasing. Similar to saying "ha-ha" or sticking a tongue out at someone.
haughty — надменный; высокомерный
derision — посмешище; высмеивание
Tepid — Тепленький; Тепловатый
+ On Imdb.
До сентября! Ааааа, Good God, как дожить?!
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