The Big Bang Theory 3x22

The Staircase* Implementation

Season 3, Episode 22

& Leonard: It's just two degrees, Sheldon. I just want to turn up the thermostat two degrees!
    Sheldon: Let me point out that two degrees can be the difference between water and steam.
    Leonard: Yes, if we lived in a teakettle*.
    Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
    Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
    Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you!
    Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
    Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!


& Leonard: You agree, he's nuts?
    Penny: Well, not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him.
    Leonard: Believe it or not, he was worse when I met him.
    Penny: Oh, I do not believe that.
    Leonard: You are so naive. Just like I was seven years ago.


& Leonard: I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said...
    Sheldon: I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas?
    Leonard: What?!
    Sheldon: You said you're a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas?
    Leonard: Uh, radon?
    Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
    Leonard: Telling you? Telling you.
    Sheldon: All right, next question.

---

& Sheldon: ... Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, reestablishing a functioning government, procreating*, or preserving the knowledge of mankind?
    Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with... preserving the knowledge.
    Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.


& Sheldon: Are you fairly regular?
    Leonard: Uh, I guess.
    Sheldon: This isn't going to work if you're guessing. When do you evacuate your bowels?
    Leonard: When I have to.
    Sheldon: When you have to?! I'm sorry, I don't rent to hippies.
    Leonard: I-I'm sorry, uh, in the morning. Around 8:00.
    Sheldon: I can't give you 8:00. I can give you 7:30.


& Leonard: Is this it?
    Sheldon: No, this is my room. People don't go in my room.
    Leonard: So where do you sleep?
    Sheldon: I don't understand.
    Leonard: If people don't go in there, and you're people, and... You are people, aren't you? Making a joke.
    Sheldon: Do you do this often?
    Leonard: On occasion.
    Sheldon: Your room. { On the wall — DIE, SHELDON, DIE! } You may want to repaint.


& Sheldon: ... And next. "If either of us ever invents time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds." ..... /* After 15 seconds waiting */ ..... Okay. That's disappointing.


& Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that?
    Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable, and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way.


& Sheldon: I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement.
Specifically, section 8... Visitors, subsection C... females, paragraph 4... Coitus. "Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending* coitus."
    Leonard: But I didn't even know her 12 hours ago!..


& Penny: So, what, that's it? You've stayed with Sheldon all this time because he kept you from going to federal prison?
    Leonard: That was part of it. The other part is what happened with the elevator.


& Sheldon: Explain the couch.
    Leonard: Oh, well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for $100. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
    Sheldon: But what's wrong with the furniture we have?
    Leonard: They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.
    Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?
    Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas.
    Sheldon: But you didn't notify me by e-mail, so this is still a breach.


& Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
    Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano, entitled "This is funny."
    Raj: Oh, yeah, I saw that. That was hilarious.


& Sheldon: Why do I smell methacrylate?
    Leonard: Oh, uh, clear nail polish. I had a mani-pedi. Men can get those. Anyway, I may owe you an apology.
    Sheldon: There's doubt?
    Leonard: I did agree to the thermostat setting, and I shouldn't have tried to change it.
    Sheldon: That's not an apology. Simply an acknowledgment that I was right.
    Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry.
    Sheldon: There you go.
    Leonard: So, we're good?
    Sheldon: Good what?



--- Dict:
Staircase — Лестница
teakettle — чайник
procreating — размножаться
impending — предстоящий; грозящий



+ On Imdb.


? Что финал [сезона] грядущий нам готовит... В экспедицию они снова поедут, это как пить дать. Но должно быть и некое завлекалово, нет?