The Fight

The Office 2×6

Dwight Schrute: Where is my desk?
Jim Halpert: That is weird.
Dwight Schrute: This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.
Jim Halpert: Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk.
Dwight Schrute: I didn't lose my desk.
Jim Halpert: Hey, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?
Dwight Schrute: Okay, who moved my desk?
Jim Halpert: I think you should retrace your steps.

Dwight Schrute: Okay, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished--
Jim Halpert: Colder. Warmer. A little warmer. There you go. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Cold. Cold. Cold. Back up. Warmer. Hot. Red hot. Hot. Very hot.

Michael Scott: That's the problem with being a boss, is that when you are tough they resent you and when you are cool they walk all over you.
Ryan Howard: Catch-22.
Michael Scott: Catch-22. Yes.

Michael Scott: And this is more of a ying-yang thing. The "Michael" is all cursives, "Scott" all caps. Left brain, right brain, or duality of man.

Michael Scott: I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

Michael Scott: Lot of rules, lot of rules. On the street, we didn't have any rules. Maybe one. No kicks to the groin, home for dinner-- Hey, what the hell was that?!

Dwight Schrute: I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott.
Ryan Howard: Okay, to what?
Dwight Schrute: Just put "The Hospital." Contact number, just put 911.

Michael Scott: I told Dwight that there is honor in losing, which, as we all know, is completely ridiculous. But there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better, which is what I just did for Dwight.

Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me, and I think I proved that today at the dojo.

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