Father Stu (2022)

Stuart Long: I ain't doing no blue-collar bullshit.
Kathleen Long: Well, honey, what else is there?

Stuart Long: I got some good news for you. I figured it out.
Kathleen Long: Yeah? Seventh time's a charm?

Kathleen Long: Hollywood. You ain't been west of Missoula.
Stuart Long: You got a map, I'm gonna make it there.
Kathleen Long: You don't belong with L.A. folks. They're a bunch of carpetbaggers. Communist fucking fascist hippies.
Stuart Long: I ain't trying to belong. I'm trying to stand out.

Stuart Long: This town wants me to think that my job's at the mercy of some scumbag, and my dick's at the mercy of some slut's low standards? A real man earns a win on his own damn merits.

Carmen: You don't take "no" for an answer.
Stuart Long: I don't need a "yes" to know I'm right.

Carmen: I'm a Catholic. No sex before marriage.
Stuart Long: Ain't that what confession's for?
Carmen: I thought that'd be the case. Let's not waste either of our times.
Stuart Long: I'd wait 40 years in the desert for you.
Carmen: You can start with an hour in church.
Stuart Long: I'll be there... I'll be there.

Stuart Long: What's everybody waiting for? Let's pray.

Jesus C.: Life's gonna give you a gutful of reasons to be angry, kid. You only need one to be grateful.
Stuart Long: That's the most fucked-up ratio since the number of marshmallows in Lucky Charms.
Jesus C.: You ain't owed nothing. But you're getting a chance.

Carmen: I thought I could help. Answer your question, you know.
Stuart Long: Yeah? What you think I'm wondering?
Carmen: "Why me? Why did God make or allow this to happen?" He doesn't promise your stories will make sense, but he does promise they'll find their greater purpose. If we're patient.

Stuart Long: I did something I ain't supposed to do. Something I been thinking about, praying I could get to happen for months. Something I wanted more than anything else in this world. Then I had it, and all I could do was think about disappointing God.
Father Garcia: This is good news. It is in discovering the greatness of God's love that our heart is shaken by the horror and weight of sin.
Stuart Long: No, this ain't about fucking up. It's about being fucked with.
Father Garcia: .... Another term for that is "grace."

Kathleen Long: Is someone gonna tell me what's going on?
Stuart Long: I was gonna find a better time...
Kathleen Long: You're doing a porno?
Stuart Long: No, God, no. No, I'm gonna be a priest.
Kathleen Long: For Halloween?
Stuart Long: No, not for fucking Halloween. For real.

Stuart Long: You had to tell him?
Kathleen Long: It's a sin to lie.
Stuart Long: You ain't the Catholic here.
Bill Long: You've had some nutty ideas before, but this is like Hitler asking to join the ADL.

Doctor: The good news is you could have as long as a year before you'll need any assistance with basic daily activities.

Stuart Long: I'm praying for you.
Bill Long: Don't you dare! You're violating my rights as a man! As an American.

Stuart Long: We're not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human one. This body don't mean nothing to God. Therefore nor should it to you.

Stuart Long: You here to help? Play a hymn on the harp. Makes pathetic shit look poetic.

Stuart Long: Hear me out. All our outer nature's wasting away. But our inner nature is being renewed every day. This life, no matter how long it lasts, is a momentary affliction preparing us for eternal glory.
     We shouldn't pray for an easy life, but the strength to endure a difficult one. Because the experience of suffering is the fullest expression of God's love. It is a chance to be closer to Christ.

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