Star Mort: Rickturn of the Jerri

Rick and Morty 4x10

Rick: Garage, family therapy mode.

Rick: You never wrote.
Beth's clone: And never exploded?
Rick: What I'm hearing is that you think that's a bomb.
Beth's clone: So does every engineer that's seen it.
Rick: Engineer? Princess, I'm sure every caveman that sees a microwave calls it a rock cabinet. The point of inventing is to make things that don't exist.

Rick: You're fighting the Gromflomites?
Beth's clone: Dad, they're trying to take over the galaxy!
Rick: Everybody in the galaxy tries to take over the galaxy. The trick is to be left alone by whoever succeeds.

Rick: Eh, it's your hero phase. I had one, too. You'll outgrow it.

Dr. Wong: Jerry, do you agree that the use of puppets makes you seem dumb and crazy?
Jerry: I don't think "crazy" is a responsible word to use in...
Dr. Wong: It is now. This is crazy. You're being crazy.
Jerry: They do it in therapy on TV.
Dr. Wong: Well, TV gives British people prizes for baking, Jerry.

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Dr. Wong: I'd like to discuss that.
Rick: I don't discuss problems, I incinerate them.

Rick: Everybody in the car... Everybody in my family, not the world! Jesus, Wong. Boundaries.
Dr. Wong: I'm better than this job...

Rick: I know this is bad parenting, but if you stop fighting, you both get McDonald's—
Beth's clone: How about I just blow my brains out, starting with hers?
Rick: Okay, Wendy's. We love Wendy's!

Rick: Beth, if... if one of you is still alive, you're my real daughter. If you're both alive, don't hurt the other one. She's just a clone. She's not worth it. I'm coming, baby.
Beth's clone: That piece of [BLEEP].
Beth's: That piece of [BLEEP].

Rick: Never thought this was how I'd die. We're nowhere near Venice, and you're not a dwarf in a raincoat.

Rick: Holy shit. I'm a terrible father. At least I'm a pretty good friend.

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