— Of course that's the whole fucking point of asking me, is to stare at me while I say mine and then say his.
— Look, I do, I love my children, I love my wife, I wish I didn't. How awesome would that be to wake up one morning, "Fuck it, I don't feel nothing for these assholes," and just walk out the door. But so far, no such luck.
— It's hard, having kids and being married, it's difficult, and, you know, whatever, but one thing that's made me-- it's impossible for me to have any sympathy for single people. I just don't give a shit about single people. I don't dislike single people, but I don't get-- whenever single people complain about anything, I really want them to just shut the fuck up. Because first of all, if you're single, you life has no consequence on the earth. Even if you're helping people aggressively, which you're fucking not, nobody gives a shit what happens to you. You can die, and it actually doesn't matter. It doesn't. Your mother will cry, whatever. But otherwise, nobody gives a shit. I can't die, I got 2 kids and my wife doesn't fucking work. I don't get to die. I can't die.
— Single people, when you-- when you-- they complain, like, we don't complain. When you ask a parent, "Hey, how's the family?" we go, "Great." That's all we ever say. It's never fuckin' great, but we say great, 'cause we're not gonna tell you, "Well, my wife assassinated my sexual identity," and, "Uh, my children are eating my dreams." We don't fucking bother you with that. We just say, "GREAT." But if you ask a single person, "How's it goin'?" They're like, "Well, my apartment doesn't get enough southern light, and the carpeting getting a little moldy..." You know what you should do? Burn it down and kill yourself, 'cause nobody fucking cares.
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+ Quotes on the IMDb
— Look, I do, I love my children, I love my wife, I wish I didn't. How awesome would that be to wake up one morning, "Fuck it, I don't feel nothing for these assholes," and just walk out the door. But so far, no such luck.
— It's hard, having kids and being married, it's difficult, and, you know, whatever, but one thing that's made me-- it's impossible for me to have any sympathy for single people. I just don't give a shit about single people. I don't dislike single people, but I don't get-- whenever single people complain about anything, I really want them to just shut the fuck up. Because first of all, if you're single, you life has no consequence on the earth. Even if you're helping people aggressively, which you're fucking not, nobody gives a shit what happens to you. You can die, and it actually doesn't matter. It doesn't. Your mother will cry, whatever. But otherwise, nobody gives a shit. I can't die, I got 2 kids and my wife doesn't fucking work. I don't get to die. I can't die.
— Single people, when you-- when you-- they complain, like, we don't complain. When you ask a parent, "Hey, how's the family?" we go, "Great." That's all we ever say. It's never fuckin' great, but we say great, 'cause we're not gonna tell you, "Well, my wife assassinated my sexual identity," and, "Uh, my children are eating my dreams." We don't fucking bother you with that. We just say, "GREAT." But if you ask a single person, "How's it goin'?" They're like, "Well, my apartment doesn't get enough southern light, and the carpeting getting a little moldy..." You know what you should do? Burn it down and kill yourself, 'cause nobody fucking cares.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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