Hot Tub Time Machine (1/2)

& Doctor: Does he have any family?
    Adam: Lou's family all kind of hate him.
    Doctor: Okay. Well, then I guess it's up to you guys, his friends. You are his friends, right?
    Nick: It's like that friend who's the asshole. But he's our asshole, you know? Right.


& Lou: Who the fuck are you texting with?
    Jacob: Just a friend of mine.
    Lou: Male or fucking female?
    Jacob: For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones.
    Lou: You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.


& Adam: Great White Buffalo.


& Lou (on phone): Yes, I would like to get a hooker to fuck me and my friends. {...} What? Whatever, semantics. I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina.


& Nick: Dude is rocking a cassette player.
    Adam: Just relax. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all this shit.
    Nick: Don't fucking tell me to relax. Leg warmers? Jheri curl? "Where's the beef?" Excuse me, miss, what color is Michael Jackson?
    A girl: Black.
    Nick: Nooooooo!


& Lou: It's the fucking 80's guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!
    Jacob: That was the 60's dipshit.
    Adam: We had like Reagan and AIDS. Get the fuck outta here, okay. Do the right thing, Violator!


& Jacob: The tub is obviously some kind of energy vortex*, right? Like a black hole. But, instead of being in space... you know... it's in ...a hot tub. Time is not linear, we just perceive it that way!
    Nick: Like The Terminator! It's cyclical, right? The machines send Schwarzenegger back to kill Sarah Connor so that John Connor could never be born. But if John Connor don't send Michael Biehn back to protect her, then they never fuck, and John Connor ain't born in the first place! It checks out.

---

& Kelly: Let's get this party started! Who is carrying me home tonight?
    Jacob: Mom?
    Lou: Sweet fucking Lord.
    Adam: Kelly?
    Kelly: Hey, bro, Nicholas. Who's the geek?
    Nick: He's your son.
    Adam: That's not appropriate.
    Jacob: I'm sun... Sunshine.
    Adam: Sunshine.
    Jacob: 'Cause I'm here to brighten your day.


& Jacob: Hey, Adam? What she means is that she works at the ski rental place, right? And that's her job, is cleaning the poles.
    Nick: I could be off, but I think it's in reference to blowing a dude. Or fucking a dude. Because the wax, it can be interpreted either way. Or maybe she's the pole and there's two dudes that she's waxing.


& Nick 2 himself: It's not cheating. It's not cheating. It's 1986. You don't even know Courtney yet.


& Jacob: You know, it's okay if you're scared, Lou.
    Lou: I'm not scared, idiot. I'm fucking pissed.



-- Dict:
vortex — вихрь; водоворот; пучина

Ending