Massage Therapy
Season 7, Episode 4
& Chase: Dr. House, this is Dr. Kelly Benedict, your new fellow.
Kelly: Nice to meet you. Um, I just finished my psychiatry residency. And I loved studying the mind, but I thought I could make more of a difference, or at least...
House: Man, you're hot. I mean, seriously.
{ Seems like she'll not stay here too long. Amen. }
& Chase: She was nervous. Give her a break. Oh... And she's not like Cameron.
House: True. Cameron had much smaller breasts. By which I mean she was smarter.
& Cuddy could have adopted a golden retriever.
Wilson: Oh, yeah, things are definitely going great.
House: We'll get to it when we get to it.
Wilson: You really like these, or are you just avoiding a touchy conversation?
House: Nah. This one's too metrosexual. This one's too heterosexual.
Wilson: They're identical. Do you even want my input?
House: No.
Wilson: Then why did you invite me?
House: Who'd drive my car home if I buy a bike?
& Kelly: Dr. Foreman didn't seem to like me either.
Chase: Oh, well, he takes a little while to warm up. In my case, I'm hoping year seven does the trick.
& House: Come back. Just one more time. You'll love it.
Cuddy: My wrists are tired.
House: I can't defeat the new Decimator-98 all alone.
& House: Head shot!
{ Ha! This's the same game from "Epic Fail", Episode 2, Season 6. }
& House: I made you nervous. So this time, I'm gonna put you at ease. It's just you and old doc House. A couple of pals chittin' the chat.
Chase: Why not just place a chair above a trap door with a shark tank underneath?
House: Wednesday is when I get my shark tank cleaned. Also because I'm giving her a chance.
Chase: You're giving her a test.
House: This whole job is a test. I'm giving her the chance to fail it sooner rather than later. Or pass.
& Cuddy: I was just wondering, your masseuse*...
House: Brandi.
Cuddy: I'm sure I'm imagining this, although I'm not as sure now that I know her name, but she seems a little... How do I say this? I don't know. Um, a bit slutty*.
House: She is a hooker. If she's not slutty, she's doing something wrong.
Cuddy: What? Did you have sex with her?
House: Yesterday? Ah, you're getting confused by the hooker thing. No, of course not. I'm dating you.
Cuddy: But you used to have sex with her.
House: Well, it was a massage plus happy ending sort of thing. Now it's more of a sad ending. Because of you!
& Cuddy: So you really think that I would be okay with you getting a massage from a hooker you used to have sex with?
House: You don't mind the massage part, you mind the sex part, which doesn't exist anymore.
Cuddy: I know a great physical therapist. I will give you her number.
House: Why would I give up one who definitely works for one who might work?
Cuddy: Because I asked you to.
House: That's not really an argument, now, is it?
Cuddy: I won't see you until you stop seeing her.
House: Well, that's an argument.
& House: The principle is she's being irrational. If I give in on this, it sets the stage for the whole relationship.
Wilson: Putting up with irrationality is the foundation for every relationship. I agree with Sam when she's calling her father a monster. I agree with her when she's calling him a Saint. And in exchange, I get to have sex with her. And I'm sure she has similar tradeoffs with me. Relationships are hard. You have to make sacrifices. So sacrifice being crazy. Go get her a gift and apologize.
House: You finally made a good point.
Wilson: Which, clearly, you have misunderstood based on how quickly you agreed.
{ 'Relations for Dummies' is this Episode, huh? }
& Taub: Oh, no. Hold on a second. House... Is that...
House: That's baby Chase and his mom.
Taub: That's adorable*!
House: Never mind the baby, peep* the babe.
& Felipe: I have great fingers.
& Cuddy: How long have you been a masseur?
Felipe: What is that... "Masseur"?
Cuddy: A massage therapist.
Felipe: Oh, no, not long.
Cuddy: How did my boyfriend find you?
Felipe: Boyfriend? He is your boyfriend?
Cuddy: Why is that surprising?
Felipe: I just mean, if he found me, I do not think he's got no girlfriend.
& Foreman: Give her a break.
House: Oh, you've switched sides? Let me guess, Chase represents the dumb version of Thirteen...
Foreman: I realized if we all just keep pressuring Kelly, of course she's gonna get stuff wrong. It's irresponsible of me to let that happen.
House: You are a true leader of men.
& House: Why wasn't she frozen? Put a healthy person on a cooling blanket, they'd be chilled like a fine Chardonnay. She's a nice warm Merlot. 98.6 all day.
& Cuddy: What are you doing?
House: I got bored with the porn on my computer. You got any girl on girl on girl on vibrating object on girl stuff? I wouldn't have to do this if you gave me the name of that physical therapist you like.
& Cuddy: Let's stay at my place tonight, okay?
House: Will you get cable?
Cuddy: No.
House: Then we'll have to have more sex.
Cuddy: Okay.
& House: Aren't you adorable.
--- Dict:
masseuse — массажистка
slutty — распутная
adorable — восхитительный; прелестный
peep — подглядывать; заглядывать
On Imdb
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