The Zazzy Substitution*
Season 4, Episode 3
Sheldon: Oh, yes. You should've been here for the great Jenga tantrum* of 2008.
Leonard: You bumped the table and you know it.
Amy: Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.
Leonard: I'm going to my room.
Amy: Very good, Leonard. But next time, don't tell us where you're hiding.
& Leonard: Did you guys see the paper in The American Physics Journal on supersolids? It's pretty interesting. This guy's working from a hypothesis where...
Raj: Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert.
Leonard: What?
Raj: Don't ruin it for me, man. I printed out a PDF to read on the potty*.
& Sheldon: Sorry we're late.
Amy: I must take responsibility. I had to stop for feminine hygiene supplies.
Leonard: Aha. Okay.
Sheldon: I believe she's experiencing her menses.
Amy: Actually, I'm not. In order to avoid surprises, I wear them all the time.
Leonard: Aha. Okay.
& Penny: Hey, look, it's Shamy!
Amy: Shamy?
Sheldon: A juvenile amalgamation of our names. Sheldon, Amy... Shamy.
Amy: Oh. I don't like that. Don't do that.
Penny: All righty. What's new?
Amy: Well, just recently, I learned that you refer to us as Shamy, and I don't like that.
Penny: I got it. But what I was going for was, you know, how's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's. Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking.
& Leonard: So, this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat.
Amy 2 Sheldon: You're right, he's a festival of humdrum chitchat*.
Leonard: Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up.
& Amy: I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.
Sheldon: They can't function without me. I'm the social glue that holds this little group together. ... You're welcome.
& Leonard: Listen, can I talk to you about your girlfriend?
Sheldon: She's not my girlfriend. She's a girl and she's my friend, but there's no touching or unsanitary exchange of saliva*. Although, for the record, on one occasion, she licked her thumb to remove raspberry jelly from the corner of my mouth. It's an action we both regret to this day.
& Sheldon: I know what your point is. You're intimidated* by Amy's intellect. To that I say, buck up*.
Leonard: Okay, let me just get right to it. Amy is judgmental*, sanctimonious* and frankly... just obnoxious*.
Sheldon: So?
Leonard: So we already have you for all that.
& Raj: Penny, dear, why don't you shoot another silver bullet my way?
Penny: Get one yourself.
Raj: Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills.
Penny: God, he's an ass when he drinks.
Howard: Oh, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it.
& Howard: Gimme. Trust me. I do this for my mom all the time. See? With the grain.
Penny: Wow, that is better.
Howard: And someday, when you have varicose veins, I'll show you how to massage them.
& Sheldon: I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing.
Amy: It's very impressive, for theoretical work.
Sheldon: Do I detect a hint of condescension*?
Amy: I'm sorry, was I being too subtle*? I meant compared to the real-world applications of neurobiology, theoretical physics is... what's the word I'm looking for?.. hmm, cute.
Sheldon: ...
& Sheldon: We appear to have reached an impasse*.
Amy: I agree.
Sheldon: I move our relationship terminate immediately.
Amy: Seconded.
Sheldon: There being no objections... ...the motion carries. Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler.
Amy: Good day, Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: Women, huh? Can't live with them, can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.
& Leonard: Okay, fine. Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them. And do you know what happened after she died? They ate her.
Sheldon: You don't have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I'm already a fan.
& Leonard: Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming.
Sheldon's Mom: Now, when you said on the phone he broke up with a girl, you meant an actual girl, not something you kids whipped up in a lab?
Leonard: No, she's real.
Sheldon's Mom: Did they sin?
Leonard: No, no, it's not like that. It's, uh... I don't know what it's like.
& Sheldon: Mom, what an unexpected pleasure.
Mom: My, my, that's a powerful smell.
Sheldon: I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer, Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf...
Mom: Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats and you gave 'em cute Jewish names.
& Mom: Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk.
Sheldon: All right, but you're not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk, it means you want me to listen.
Mom: Then stop talking.
& Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Sheldon's Mom: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell 'em not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy* not to clear out the wood chipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward. Now, don't you move. I'll bring over all the food.
Leonard: No, no, no, I can do it.
Sheldon's Mom: Well, isn't that sweet?
& Sheldon: Thank you, Amy. Here's your cat. And here's your $20. Next! Thank you, Amy. Here's your cat. And here's your $20. Next!
--- Dict:
Substitution — подстановка; замещение
tantrum — истерика
potty — ночной горшок
humdrum chitchat — будничная болтовня
saliva — слюна
intimidate — запугивать
buck up — встряхнуться
judgmental — субъективный
sanctimonious — ханжеский; лицемерный
obnoxious — неприятный; отвратительный; несносный
condescension — снисходительность
subtle — тонкий; едва различимый; трудноуловимый
impasse — тупик
Stumpy — =A part, as of a branch, limb, or tooth, remaining after the main part has been cut away, broken off, or worn down. An artificial leg.
On Imdb.
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