24 окт. 2010 г.

The Big Bang Theory 4x5

The Desperation Emanation

Season 4, Episode 5

& Leonard: All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably just make an actual Hulk.


& Leonard: So what's going on with you two?
    Sheldon: Well, the status is as it always was. She's a girl. She's a friend. She is not my... please forgive me for doing this... "girlfriend."


& Sheldon: May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy.
    Leonard: Jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?
    Sheldon: I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female. You have none.
    Leonard: Oh, right. That.
    Sheldon: Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster... not unlike the Hulk... who, by the way, also has a girlfriend. In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly, whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, a feel-good romp* if there ever was one.


& Sheldon: You know, it just occurred to me, if there are an infinite number of parallel universes, in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.
    Leonard: Probably. What's your point?
    Sheldon: No point. It's just one of the things that makes one of the mes chuckle.


& Sheldon: What makes you chuckle, Leonard?
    Leonard: Hmm, recently? Not much.
    Sheldon: Is it because of the conflict that arises from your desperate need to pair-bond with a woman, and the apparent collective decision of all womankind to deny you that opportunity?


& Leonard: Hey, guys.
    Howard: Hey.
    Raj: Hey.
    Sheldon: All right, I'll bow to social pressure: Hey!


& Leonard: You have a girlfriend? How could you have a girlfriend? You can't even speak to women.
    Raj: Two words... deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk, because she can't hear me.
    Leonard: What?!
    Raj: That's what she said.


& Amy: That was rude.
    Sheldon: He does it all the time. He's a cornucopia* of social awkwardness.
    Amy: Cornucopia. What a mellifluous* word.
    Sheldon: Let's make that our word of the day.
    Amy: Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.
    Sheldon: Well, I have to void my bladder. It was nice spending this time with you.


& Sheldon: Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard...
    Leonard: Yeah, what?
    Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother. What does that mean?
    Leonard: Well, you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who's your friend, and not your girlfriend?
    Sheldon: Uh-huh.
    Leonard: You can't say that anymore.


& Sheldon: Wait! What am I supposed to do?
    Leonard: Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?
    Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
    Leonard: All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined* plane wrapped helically* around an axis?
    Sheldon: Screwed.
    Leonard: There you go.


& Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, get the door!
    Howard: Why can't you get it?
    Mrs. Wolowitz: You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy! I'm like an upside-down volcano here.


& Sheldon: We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles. We now live at 311 Los Robles.
    Leonard: You changed the address on the building? What about mail?
    Sheldon: Oh, no worries... I explained my predicament* to our letter carrier. He was sympathetic. His exact words were: "Got your back, Jack. Bitches be crazy."


& Sheldon: Now, get my back, Jack.
What do you want to do?
    Sheldon: Tell her I'm not here.
    Leonard: Okay, where are you?
    Sheldon: I don't know. You'll have to devise a scenario that plausibly* explains my absence, keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.


& Leonard: So, Bernadette tells me she knows you from self-defense classes?
    Joy: Yeah. Israeli Krav Maga. Lots of fun. Basically, a hundred different ways to rip a guy's nuts off.


& Joy: This lobster's good on the way down and the way up.
    Leonard: Should be... it's $30 a pound.
    Joy: Hey, this is a date, right?
    Leonard: Yep, it is.


& Joy: Excuse me, I have to go to the little girls' room... and take a wicked whiz.
    Bernadette: I'll go with you.
    Joy: Fair warning: I had the asparagus. My pea is gonna stink up the place.


& Joy: Good news: I made lots of room for dessert.


& Mrs. Fowler: It's nice to meet you, too, Sheldon. I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
    Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
    Mrs. Fowler: What?!
    Sheldon: Oh, yes. We're like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
    Mrs. Fowler: Amy... what is he saying?
    Amy: You wanted me to have a boyfriend, Mother. Well, here he is. Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins*.
    Sheldon: Oh, yes, it's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.
    Amy: Thank you, Sheldon, that went very well.
    Sheldon: Agreed. Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship.
    Amy: ...
    Sheldon: Bazinga! Bedtime. Please show yourself out.



--- Dict:
romp — шумная игра; возня
cornucopia — рог изобилия
mellifluous — сладкозвучный; медоточивый; ласкающий слух
inclined — склонный; предрасположенный
helically — спирально
predicament — затруднительное положение
plausibly — правдоподобно
loins — поясница; филе; филейная часть; чресла



On Imdb.


Они-таки обошлись без Пенни. Бедная-бедная Пенни.

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