Cop Out

& Paul: Happy anniversary, Jim.
    Jimmy: I don't celebrate anniversaries.
    Paul: Jim, open it up. I wanna see the expression on your face.
    Jimmy: Wanna see the expression on my face? The expression you're gonna see on my face is "Fuck you." I hate anniversaries, Paul.
    Paul: Animal.


& Paul: How we gonna work this?
    Jimmy: Same way we always do. I interrogate him, you write it down.


& Paul: Oh, so you making decisions now? I'm gonna play the bad guy on this one.
    Jimmy: Doubtful.
    Paul: Undoubtful.
    Jimmy: Highly doubtful. And you know why? Because you don't play the bad guy. You just steal all the bullshit lines you hear on TV and the movies that you like. And that's not acting.
    Paul: And it's not stealing. It's called homage*.
    Jimmy: What?
    Paul: Homage. It's French for, "You better let me do this."

---

& Paul 2 prisoner: Don't waste my motherfucking time!
    Jimmy 2 himself: Jesus Christ, now he's doing Al Pacino from Heat.
    Paul 2 prisoner: I killed a cop for it. And I took his goddamn phone. You fuck me on this, and I'll blow your head off. Because King Kong ain't got nothing on me!
    Jimmy 2 himself: Who's this? Now you're doing Training Day?
    Paul 2 prisoner: Get the information, let's get out of here... and go get something to eat. Or somebody's gonna die, bitch!
    Jimmy 2 himself: Like a Reuben.
    Paul 2 prisoner: I got the death penalty in 12 systems.
    Jimmy 2 himself: Star Wars?
    Paul 2 prisoner: Tell us about the chicken.
    Jimmy 2 himself: Schindler's List?
    Paul 2 prisoner: Lord knows I love Harpo. But if he hit me, I'll kill him dead.
    Jimmy 2 himself: The Color Purple?
    Paul 2 prisoner: The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. I got no place else to go! We're gonna need a bigger boat.
    Jimmy 2 himself: Everything on cable TV.


& Captain: Monroe and Hodges. Monroe and Hodges. You know, there's a right way of doing police work. There's a wrong way of doing it. Then there's a way that you two idiots do it.


& Paul 2 his wife: Baby, you my tenderoni*. I just get insecure.
    Deborah: I know that I'm lucky to have you. I love you and I married you because you're funny, and you're smart.
    Paul: And I'm orally fixated.
    Deborah: That's going too far. You have no need to be jealous of Henry or anybody else, okay?


& Paul: You gonna be my eyes, little bear.


& Jimmy: Whoa, ma'am. I need you to put that gun on the deck right now.
    Bruja: No. F that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm telling you, somebody's stealing my stuff, I've worked too G. D. hard.
    Bruja's son: You gonna smoke somebody, Mom?
    Bruja: F'ing A right I am.
    Jimmy: Ma'am, just please, put the gun down.
    Bruja: No F'ing way. I know my rights.
    Jimmy: Lady. Put the F'ing gun down on the ground right now... take your son across the F'ing street to your neighbor's house... and stay there until we come and get you. Jesus C.
    Bruja: You better not screw up any of my furniture. It's custom-made Italian.


& Jimmy: What's the fastest a human being can run?
    Paul: I don't know, but let's go for the record.


& Paul: You know the bonobo chimpanzee... is the only non-human primate that has oral sex?
    Jimmy: Where do you find the time to watch the Animal Planet? I'm with you 25 hours a day.
    Paul (pointing to his head): I have to feed this. I have to feed this, okay?
    Jimmy: Well, you're a compendium of fucking useless information.     Paul: Well, I don't wanna look at reality TV because that's the bowels* of Hollywood. I fucking hate reality TV. You're right, it fucking blows*. And I like to see chimpanzees getting head.


& Jimmy: Did you get him?
    Paul: His head's not there. Does that count?


& Poh Boy: Hey, the only thing keeping you guys here is the girl. And I just want my flash drive. So, what do you say we trade, huh?
    Jimmy: You ready?
    Paul: I'm ready. Let's go be great.
    Jimmy: Do you even listen to yourself sometimes?


& Poh Boy: Y'all ain't gonna shoot me.
    Jimmy: On three.
    Paul: That's one, two, shoot on three? Or one, two, three, then shoot?
    Jimmy: One, two, three, then shoot. Always one, two, three, then shoot.
    Paul: I'm not good at math.
    Jimmy: Are you ready?
    Paul: Yes.
    Jimmy: One. { Бдыжь! }


! Soul Brother by Patti LaBelle


--Dict:
homage — дань; почтение; клятвенное обещание верности сеньору; феодальная подать
bowel — кишечник
blows — дуть; взрывать; раздувать; сморкаться; хвастаться


On Imdb


! Хороший. И часто — смешной.
! Terry Williams — Эдди Мерфи наших дней. Тем интереснее будет смотреть 30 Rock, где он играет сам себя.
! Jason Lee незабвенный и даже, типа, цивилизованный с оочень правильной кармой.
! Bruce Willis — наше всё.
+ Seann William Scott aka Dave-паркурец — это нечто.
++ Soundtrack.