The IT Crowd 4x2

The Final Countdown

Season 4, Episode 2

& Roy: From this moment on, everything is going to be different. { bzzzz } Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?


& Jen: How did he even get in?
    Roy: Well, he was very persuasive*. I think... Well, I don't know how to get in touch with this guy. His stuff is cluttering up my hallway. I've had to start putting these up.
    Moss: My mum always says, you should never open the door.
    Jen: What do you mean?
    Moss: An unopened door is a happy door. So we never answer ours when someone knocks.
    Jen: What, so you all just sit there?
    Moss: Yes.
    Jen: So the doorbell goes and you all just sit there... until the person goes away?
    Moss: Yes.
    Jen: What if it's important? What if it's good news?
    Moss: This is London, Jen. It's not someone with cake! Unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives!


& Jen: I'm going to zone out at the heads of department meeting.
    Roy: I thought you were trying to avoid those.
    Jen: There's only so many times I can say there's a RAM emergency.


& Jen: Isn't this the heads of department meeting? Every Monday and Friday? Or has it changed?
    Douglas: No, no, yes, it is. You've missed a few though, haven't you?
    Jen: Yeah, there was a RAM emergency. The... office had too much RAM.


& Jen: They don't want me. They don't want me at the Monday-Friday!
    Roy: I thought you hated those meetings?
    Jen: I did hate those meetings until they didn't want me at those meetings. And now I love those meetings.

---

& Moss: That's Roger Black. That's Steven Pawlin.
    Prime: You know your ex-Countdown winners.
    Moss: Why are they all here?
    Prime: Why, for someone who knows how to add and subtract and multiply and divide lots of numbers to get one other number, you're not so good at putting two and two together, are you? This is Eight Plus! An exclusive club for those gifted few who make it through to eight episodes of Countdown.


& Jen: Does it not outrage you, Roy, as a member of this IT department, that I, your head, is not being represented at the Monday-Friday?
    Roy: Couldn't give a shit. {...} My neighbor just called. Turns out that window-washing Willie from West Gibberish is not now going to be able to pick up his window cleaning bric-a-brac. He was hit by a car or something. Just my luck!
    Jen: You shouldn't have agreed to mind it for him in the first place.
    Roy: Thanks, Jen. That's really helpful. That's really good advice. That's exactly what I'll do. In the past! When it happens again, last week. I have to give it back to him! It can't just live in my hallway!
    Jen: Don't give a shit!


& Jen: All right, something weird is going on in that room. They're wearing dressing gowns*. Roy, will you listen to me?
    Roy: I don't have to listen to you. I'm not married to you.


& Roy: I've got a lot on my mind right now, Jen. This bloke* thinks I'm a window cleaner. Bloke I went to college with. He's doing amazingly... The creature he was with... And he thinks that I am a window cleaner. A window cleaner!
    Jen: What's wrong with that? It's a noble profession.
    Roy: ...If your last profession was cleaning balls!


& Roy: Maybe they're getting some kind of executive massage treatment for being brilliant.
    Jen: Do you think they're getting massages? If they're getting massages, I think my human rights are being abused by them not letting me in.
    Moss: Why don't you wear a towel, hang around the door, and see if they let you in?
    Jen: I have my dignity*, thank you, Moss. No! Hang on. That might just work!


& Ivana: Will I see you tonight?
    Moss: Not now, Ivana.
    Roy: Did you have sex with that lady?
    Moss: If you call that mindless animalistic rutting* sex, then yes, I suppose we did.
    Roy: That sounds like sex!


& Moss: What is Street Countdown?
    Prime: It's more or less the same as normal Countdown, except we play it on the street.
    Moss: That doesn't sound that dangerous.
    Prime: It can get quite cold.
    Moss: I always wear thermals.
    Prime: Ah, then you're probably fine.


& Negative One: Hey, I is still standing here. What do you say, newbie?
    Moss: I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk.



-- Dict:
persuasive — убедительный
gowns — халаты
bloke — парень
dignity — достоинство
rut — половое возбуждение

On Imdb.

~ Pretty good episode.