The Secret

The Office 2×13

Michael Scott: Today is spring cleaning day here at Dunder Mifflin. And yes, I know it's January. I am not an idiot. But, if you do your spring cleaning in January, guess what you don't have to do in the spring... Anything!

Michael Scott: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well, I say an empty desk means an...
Dwight K. Schrute: Empty mind.
Michael Scott: No, that's not... No, that's not what I was gonna say.

Dwight K. Schrute: Oscar is out sick.
Michael Scott: On a Friday?

Dwight K. Schrute: Question. May I investigate?
Michael Scott: Yeah. Drop what you're doing. Make this a priority. Because an office can't function efficiently unless people are at their desks, doing their jobs.

Michael Scott: Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. But the fact that he told me his secret and no one else says everything about our friendship. And it is why I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can.

Ryan Howard: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget, too.

Dwight K. Schrute: How about this. I don't tell Michael, and in exchange, you owe me one great big, giant favor, redeemable by me at a time and place of my choosing.

Dwight K. Schrute: Should I have reported Oscar's malfeasance? Probably, but now I know something he doesn't want me to know. So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. Otherwise, it's just malfeasance, for malfeasance's sake.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack