Performance Review

The Office 2×8

Pam Beasley: Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were and it ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds.
Michael Scott: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam Beasley: Thank you.
Michael Scott: And a woman.

Jim Halpert: Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm gonna actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight Schrute: That is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim Halpert: Then I win.

Jim Halpert: Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon...

Stanley Hudson: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Michael Scott: Really?
Stanley Hudson: Oh, yes. Let's listen to it again, and this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael Scott: God, Stanley. That's freaking brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? I'm sorry.
Stanley Hudson: Oh, it's okay. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.

Michael Scott: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis, I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Is there any chance that you wrote any of my ideas down in a folder, like an idea folder?
Pam Beasley: Sorry.
Michael Scott: That's unfortunate. How about the suggestion box? There's tons of ideas in there.
Pam Beasley: What suggestion box?

Michael Scott: Jan Levinson's coming very soon and so we're gonna have our weekly suggestion box meeting. So you can all get in your constructive compliments ASAP.
Ryan Howard: Don't you mean constructive criticism?
Michael Scott: What did I say?
Kelly Kapoor: You said constructive compliments. That doesn't make any sense.
Michael Scott: Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment, so maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions, okay?

Michael Scott: Just keep it going. Yup. What do we have here?... We have somebody's piece of gum. Somebody put a piece of gum in there. This is not a garbage can. This is the future of our company. This is not a place for gum, okay?

Jan Levenson: You know, Michael...
Michael Scott: Am I too short?
Jan Levenson: Michael, it has nothing to do with your looks, okay? It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way. And I don't agree about the B.O., but you are very, very inconsiderate.

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