The Carpet

The Office 2×14

Michael Scott: Spamster!
Pam Beasley: Pam, plus Spam, plus...
Michael Scott: Hamster.
Pam Beasley: Right.

Michael Scott: You know what? I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.

Michael Scott: You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense.

Michael Scott: You know what? Today is not a good day for a sales contest. We're not doing this today.
Pam Beasley: That doesn't seem fair.
Michael Scott: You want to talk about fair? Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? You explain to me how that was fair and I'll explain to you how this is fair.

Michael Scott: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley Hudson: That's not what a hate crime is.
Michael Scott: Well, I hated it a lot, okay.

Michael Scott: You know what? If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment, we'd be done... Very well, then you're all punished.
Oscar Martinez: What's our punishment?
Michael Scott: You're all on a time out. Just sit there quietly.

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+ Quotes on the IMDb