E-Mail Surveillance

The Office 2×9

Michael Scott: There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them... His bed... And I am not going to tell them that I'll be reading their e-mails.

Michael Scott: So how do you search?
Sadiq: By keyword phrase.
Michael Scott: Try "profits." No, try "Michael Scott!" "Michael," "boss" and "funny."

Michael Scott: Oh, my God. Wow! E-mail from Stanley. Stanley, terribly nice guy... "Sorry I didn't write back sooner. I can't go to the game tonight because my boss, Michael, is an ass and making me stay late." Well, Stanley's an ass. Not one of our harder workers.

Michael Scott: You know what the problem is? I think I do. The problem is that when people hear the term "Big Brother," they immediately think it's scary or bad. But I don't. I think, "Wow, I love my big brother."

Pam Beasley: It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's going to be really gross... but I have to look and make sure that it's really dead.

Michael Scott: There is always a distance between a boss and the employees. It is just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly. It's the awareness that they are not me. I do think that I'm very approachable as one of the guys. But maybe I need to be even approachabler.

Michael Scott: Think about this. What is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun. Because you can't top it. You just can't.

Jim Halpert: Angela! Burger? Dog? Having fun?
Angela Martin: I got sap on me.
Jim Halpert: Chicken, hot dog, burger.
Angela Martin: I'm a vegetarian.
Jim Halpert: There is soda inside.

Pam Beasley: Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn't mean that they're together. You know, like, people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair of us to assume that there was anything else going on.

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