My Name Is Earl 1x12

O Karma, Where Art Thou?

Season 1, Episode 12

* Earl: One good thing about the cold is finding things in your coat pockets you forgot you put there a year ago.
   Randy: Hey, look! It's Mr. Fishy. That's where he was. ... Guess you were right, Earl. I'm not ready for a pet.


* Mr. Patrick, The Boss: You speak English?
   Earl: Yep, and I'm a quick learner.
   Mr. Patrick: Got all your fingers?
   Earl: ...
   Mr. Patrick: Do they bend? I've been fooled before.
   Earl: ...
   Mr. Patrick: All right. You're hired.


* Randy: What a jerk. You should report that guy to the manager.
   Earl: He is the manager.
   Randy: Oh. Then he already knows.


* Earl: Listen, Xena. Try not to get so worked up by Mr. Patrick. He'll get his payback. There's a thing in this universe, an uncontrolled force. It's called...
   Xena: I love you too, Earl. You'll be my first.

---

* Earl: It's amazing how humiliated you can feel... dressed as a hamburger, being poked by a balloon.
   Mr. Patrick: Now, you apologize to these children right now! See this, kids? This is why you stay in school. So you don't end up in a hamburger outfit, too stupid to bend balloons.
   Hickey, I told you to apologize. What's your problem? I want you to apologize to these kids right now. Are you too stupid to say you're stupid?


* Randy: Hey, Earl. I saw that mouse again.
   Earl: Want me to try and get him?
   Randy: No, I like him. I was thinking maybe we should name him, you know? And that way he'd be our pet and not just a mouse.
   Earl: How 'bout William?
   Randy: Nah. I don't like William.
   Earl: We could call him Bill for short.
   Randy: I never understood how Bill was short for William. If anything, Bill should be short for Billiam, you know?
   Good night, Earl.
   Earl: Good night, Randy.
   Randy: Good night, Billiam.



--- Словарик:
bend — гнуть, сгибать; изгибать


+ Еще quotes с Imdb.