The Big Bang Theory 1x03

The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Season 1, Episode 3

* Leonard: Hello, Leslie.
   Leslie: Hi, Leonard.
   Leonard: I'd like to propose an experiment...
   Leslie: Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500-kilowatt oxygen-iodine laser... to heat up my cup of noodles.
   Leonard: I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone. {...} Anyway, I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration... with a neurochemical overlay.
   Leslie: Wait, are you asking me out?
   Leonard: I was going to characterize it as the modification of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component.
   Leslie: But we don't need to quibble over terminology. What sort of experiment would you propose?
   Leonard: There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. I pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie. Probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents... of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
   Leslie: Interesting.
   Leonard: And would you agree the primary way we would evaluate... the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction...
   Leslie: ...during the good-night kiss?
   Leonard: Heart rate, pheromones, etcetera, yes.
   Leslie: Why don't we stipulate the date goes well... and move to the key variable?
   Leonard: You mean kiss you now?
   Leslie: Yes.
   Leonard: Define the parameters of the kiss.
   Leslie: Closed mouth, but romantic. Mint?
   Leonard: Thank you.
   Leonard: Shall I count down from three?
   Leslie: No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.
  { :-**-: }
   Leonard: What do you think?
   Leslie: Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. On the other hand, no arousal.
   Leonard: None?
   Leslie: None.
   Leonard: Ah. Well, thank you for your time.
   Leslie: Thank you.

---

* Howard: Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't... would you want me to tell you?
   Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
   Howard: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
   Sheldon: Okay. Uh, let me ask you this. When I learn that I'm a robot... would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
   Rajesh: You might be bound by them right now.
   Howard: That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being?
   Sheldon: Of course not.
   Howard: Have you ever harmed yourself, except in cases where a human being would have been endangered?
   Sheldon: Well, no.
   Rajesh: I smell robot.


* Sheldon: Oh, come on, Leonard... This is obviously about Penny.
   Leonard: It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me.
   Sheldon: Okay, look. Ahem. You have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny... as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of a black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.


* Leonard: How do I look?
   Sheldon: Could you be more specific?
   Leonard: Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
   Sheldon: No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely. What time is your date?
   Leonard: Six-thirty.
   Sheldon: Perfect, that gives you two hours and 15 minutes for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate.
   Leonard: Is it too much?
   Sheldon: Not if you're a rugby team.


* Penny: It's just me. I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt. And this thing with Doug would just be rebound sex.
   Leonard: Ugh. Don't get me started on rebound sex.
   Penny: It's just... It's my pattern. I break up, then I find some cute guy... and then it's just 36 meaningless hours of... you know.
   Leonard: I'm not sure that I do. Um... Is that one 36-hour experience or is that 36 hours spread out over... say, one glorious summer?
   Penny: No. It's usually over a weekend. And trust me, you do not feel good after it.
   Leonard: Well, chafing, right?
   Penny: Emotionally.
   Leonard: Of course, yeah. Emotional chafing.



--- Словарик:
Fuzzy — неясный, неопределённый; смутный, расплывчатый, размытый; не чётко определённый
Boots — [как компонент сложных слов] [разг.] человек, парень
Corollary — следствие, результат, итог
minestrone — мясной или куриный суп с овощами
quibble — игра слов; каламбур
stipulate — обусловливать, ставить условием, оговаривать в качестве особого условия
extraneous — 1. чуждый, посторонний; ненужный, лишний
spittle — слюна
arousal — возбуждение, (особ.) половое
rebound — воспрянуть, оживиться; поправиться (о здоровье, настроении)
chafing — раздражение; (мед.) опрелость



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