House M.D. 3x15

Half-Wit

Season 3, Episode 15

* House: You two shower together?
   Cameron: No.
   Chase: No.
   House: Double negative. That's a yes.


* House: Call radiology. We need a functional MRI on his brain.
   Foreman: FMRI's not gonna show trauma.
   House: We're not looking for trauma. I want to see the music.


* House 2 Cameron: Did you come for my feelings? 'Cause I left them in my other pants.


* House: You like your life?
   Patient: What life?

---

* House: A little whorish to kiss and stab.
   Cameron: You kissed back. I didn't want you to die without knowing the feeling.
   House: Actually, no woman should die without knowing the feeling.


* House: You know what my team is doing right now?
   Patient: No.
   House: They're trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
   Patient: What's wrong with you?
   House: Thanks for asking. They've found out that I'm dying.
   Patient: That's sad.
   House: Everyone's dying.
   Patient: That's sad.
   House: I told them to leave me alone. But did they?
   Patient: Did they?
   House: That one was rhetorical.


* House: Who the hell were you before you hit your head?
   Patient: Hell is a bad word.
   House: So is "ass" and "bitch." I could probably rattle off 50 much more complicated and disgusting ones, but then your dad would get pissed at me.


* Foreman: What if we do the EEG from inside his brain?
   House: I'm actually a little insulted. You were supposed to spend the last hour worrying about me.
   Foreman: It's risky and invasive.
   House: But that's why God invented the long consent form.


* Foreman: Sorry. You're an arrogant ass who makes it impossible for anyone to like him by punishing people who don't deserve...
   House: Can you get to the "but" part of this speech?
   Foreman: But I like you.
   House: No, you don't. You're just reacting to the perception of my death and the need to put things in order. Fear of guilt...
   Foreman: Just shut up.
   House: See? I annoy you.


* Cuddy: You want to remove half his brain?
   House: The right half. It would be irresponsible to remove the left.
   Cuddy: You don't remove half a brain and gain function!
   House: Not my brain. But his? Who knows? What?
   Let's say that I'm the left side of Patrick's brain. I'm quick-witted, I'm charming, I'm great looking.
   You're the right side of his brain. You're useless, old, damaged. We go to a bar for a drink. Now, I have the mad skills to be scoring all the hot babes, but instead I'm spending my time wiping drool off your chin and making sure you don't eat the tablecloth.


* Cuddy: House, I'm so sorry. I'm here if you need me.
   House: I need you. One small feel for man, one giant ass for mankind.
   Cuddy: Thanks. Good luck in Boston. Call the Make-A-Wish Foundation.


* House: I'm sure I'll regret asking, but why are you laughing?
   Wilson: It's ironic.
   House: Well, I'm sure I'll regret asking, but why...
   Wilson: Depression in cancer patients... It's not as common as you think. It's not the dying that gets to people. It's the dying alone. The patients with family, with friends, they tend to do okay.
   You don't have cancer. You do have people who give a damn. So what do you do?
   You fake the cancer, then push the people who care away.
   House: Because they're boring. Go home to your hotel room and laugh at that irony.
   Wilson: Start small, House. Take a chance. Maybe something that doesn't involve sticking stuff in your brain... Pizza with a friend. A movie. Something.



--- Словарик:
Half-Wit — слабоумный; дурачок
rattle off — отбарабанить; выпалить одним духом (стихи, список и т. п.)
Invasive — имеющий тенденцию к распространению
consent — согласие; разрешение


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