The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin

Young Sheldon 5×8

Adult Sheldon: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, and if you're lucky, they begin and end with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. Ah...

Dr. Linkletter: No, Sheldon, it was just a budget meeting.
Sheldon: Ooh, budgets, do tell.
Dr. Linkletter: Most of it was about reducing the gen-ed science requirement from eight credits to four.
Sheldon: But that's less science classes. Who would want that?
Dr. Linkletter: Apparently the administration, the students and their parents.
Sheldon: Did anyone try to stop it?
Dr. Linkletter: No.
Sheldon: Did it spark a heated debate?
Dr. Linkletter: Not really, no.

Sheldon: I can't believe the faculty is okay with this.
Dr. Linkletter: It just means students who aren't science majors need to take one class instead of two.
Sheldon: But that's 50% less.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, this doesn't affect you.
Sheldon: Less science affects all of society. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm good at making things all about me.

Sheldon: So, you're gonna keep the science requirements the same?
President Hagemeyer: If it were up to me, yes.
Sheldon: But you're the president.
President Hagemeyer: Everyone has a boss, Sheldon. Now, unfortunately, I have to answer to the... grand chancellor.

Sheldon: Perhaps I should speak with him.
President Hagemeyer: I appreciate that, but this is my fight... Win or lose... and I'll probably lose, but I am gonna go down swinging, I promise you that.
Sheldon: Can I help?
President Hagemeyer: Absolutely! I need you to put together a report backing up our position. Charts, graphs... the whole shebang.
Sheldon: Hmm. Charts and graphs of what?
President Hagemeyer: Am I helping you or are you helping me?
Sheldon: Uh, of course. I'll figure it out.
President Hagemeyer: I know you will. Okay, now, get out of here. You have a lot of work to do.
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am.

Mary: Gambling destroys lives!
Meemaw: That's what you say about booze. I think it's an excellent pairing.

Mary: What if the police show up?
Meemaw: Don't you worry about them. We got an understanding.
Mary: What does that mean?
Meemaw: I'd explain it to you, but you wouldn't understand.

Mary: It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin.
Meemaw: Oh, please, it's not a den of sin. Although... that is a great name. Den... of Sin. That would get some butts in seats.

President Hagemeyer: I know. Bummer. But hey, we gave it our best shot, so time to move on, right?
Sheldon: Absolutely not.
President Hagemeyer: Are you sure? 'Cause it feels like time to me...
Sheldon: We have to keep fighting! If Antonie van Leeuwenhoek had given up, where would we be?
President Hagemeyer: Where would we be?...
Sheldon: In a world without microscopes.
President Hagemeyer: Because... that guy invented them?
Sheldon: Boy, did he. At least the first modern microscope.

Mary: We have to get him out of there.
George: Mary, we told him not to drop out of school, he dropped out of school. Told him he couldn't have girls in the garage, he has girls in the garage.
Mary: He does?!
Missy: So many...

Mary: So, we do nothing?
George: We let him make his own mistakes.
Mary: That just sounds like another way of saying we do nothing.

Mary: I'm gonna go down there.
George: And that's a mistake I'm gonna let you make.

Sheldon: Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition about keeping our science requirements strong?
Student: Of course. If you'll sign mine to increase funding for the school jazz band.
Sheldon: Let's pretend we never met.

Sheldon: I'm handing you the scoop of a lifetime. As your people say, I think you'll dig it.

Sheldon: I'm going to start calling you President Hage-liar, and I think it'll to catch on because it's both true and clever.

George: Look, here's something you should know about life: People lie.
Sheldon: Everybody?
George: Pretty much.
Sheldon: Well, I don't like it.
George: Mm. It's not always a bad thing.
Sheldon: When is lying good?
George: Like when you're trying to spare someone's feelings.
Sheldon: Oh, I'd rather everybody just be honest.
George: Hmm... Fine. The last thing I wanted to do today was pick you up.
Sheldon: You said you were happy to do it.
George: See? Lies.

Sheldon: I think I need to stop blindly trusting everything.
George: Hmm. Probably not a bad idea.
Sheldon: Thanks. I wish I could believe you.

Adult Sheldon: Once I was on the lookout for liars, I saw them everywhere...

Mary: Hey, baby. What's wrong?
Sheldon: Is it that obvious?
Mary: Well, you are outside, where birds live.

Sheldon: I'm experiencing what the Germans call weltschmerz.
Mary: Uh-huh. And what do Americans call it?
Sheldon: The pain of the world.
Mary: Sounds more fun in German.
Sheldon: Most things do.

George: Look at me! I-I won two dollars!

Stephen Hawking: Miss Hagemeyer, Stephen Hawking here.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, hello. I... I... Is this really Stephen Hawking?
Stephen Hawking: Does it not sound like me? Sorry, I have a cold.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, uh...
Stephen Hawking: That was a joke. Ha, ha, ha.

Stephen Hawking: Has anyone ever called you President Hage-liar?

--
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H Is for Hero

Dexter: New Blood 1×4

Harrison Morgan: Eh. Most of the guys on the team are fuck-nuggets... What?
Dexter Morgan: Your Aunt Deb used to say that. Fuck-nuggets... I wasn't sure what you remembered. Like, if anything.
Harrison Morgan: I don't, much. Except for the swears. But, yeah, she was fun.
Dexter Morgan: Yes. She was.

Harrison Morgan: You want some of this?
Dexter Morgan: I'd rather put out a campfire with my face. That was always one of my favorites.

Harrison Morgan: You miss her?
Dexter Morgan: Oh, she's in my thoughts all the time.

Molly Park: Wow, that's some, like, real Carrie from Homeland shit. Does it have anything to do with the case?

Angela Bishop: I know you're a reporter.
Molly Park: I'm not a reporter. I'm a podcaster. Print is dead.

Molly Park: I said I was here to help with the search, and I was.
Angela Bishop: And you're doing a story about it.
Molly Park: A rich, white, entitled cisgender guy illegally shoots a rare white buck on reservation land, and then up and disappears? Of course I am.

Harrison Morgan: You ever have a situation scare the shit out of you like that?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah.
Harrison Morgan: What do you do to deal?
Dexter Morgan: I wrap bad guys in plastic and kill them.
Dexter Morgan: I, um, guess I... I'm not sure.
Harrison Morgan: Right. No, for sure.

Harrison Morgan: Why are you interrogating me?
Dexter Morgan: Sorry. It's just my old forensic brain. I know you've been through a lot.
Harrison Morgan: Just stabbed by my friend, is all.

Dexter Morgan: Going to the police station to see if your son is lying about a stabbing he was in. What page of the parenting handbook is that?

Dexter Morgan: Blood doesn't lie.
Dexter Morgan: The spatter doesn't match.

Dexter Morgan: He wanted to know what it felt like.
Dexter Morgan: It's almost like he fit the Code.

Harrison Morgan: I want to get back into a routine.
Dexter Morgan: I totally get that.
Dexter Morgan: I totally get that.

Kurt Caldwell: It's not really Matt's fault, you know? It's my fault.
Dexter Morgan: I wouldn't say that.
Kurt Caldwell: Well... the truth is, I just raised a terrible kid.

Dexter Morgan: Look, Kurt, you can't carry around this guilt. Kids are born the way they are. I wasn't in Harrison's life for the last ten years. Look how he turned out.
Kurt Caldwell: Yeah, you're right. I appreciate that. But you'll see. You know, if Harrison ever does anything wrong, it is hard not to feel responsible for it.

Harrison Morgan: I guess we all have two sides to us. Maybe we're a little bit hero and a little bit, I-I don't know, monster. It's all about which side wins out in the end.

--
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The Circumcision

Grace and Frankie 7×4

Joan-Margaret: Frankie, should we really be taking this meeting without Grace?
Frankie: ... Oh, it's fine. She's in jail. She's happy.

Nwabudike: You're welcome.
Dr. Green: Excuse me?
Nwabudike: I opened the door for you.
Dr. Green: And no one asked you to. That was your choice.
Nwabudike: My choice was to be polite.
Dr. Green: Actually, your choice was to assume I needed you to open the door.
Nwabudike: I'm sorry for noticing you have your hands full with your Michael Bublé CD.
Dr. Green: You got a problem with him?
Nwabudike: Not with Bublé. I've got a problem with you... What?! Have fun listening to your CD on the way to Blockbuster!

Elena Seda: Wait. How did you sneak your phone in here?
Grace: Oh, please. I'm 82. They wouldn't pat me down if I begged them.

Elena Seda: So Grace is 82?
Nick: Mm-hm.
Elena Seda: I think I have an idea...

Nwabudike: If we're gonna do this, we'll need to set up some ground rules.
Rabbi: Sure thing. I touch yours, you don't touch mine.
Nwabudike: Yes, that's one. But, also, no more jokes until after the procedure.
Rabbi: You got it. I won't put you in stitches until after the stitches.
Nwabudike: I have to be honest. You really need some new material.
Rabbi: You think you can do better?
Nwabudike: Well, yes, I do.
Rabbi: Fine, pitch me some new jokes. But I cut anything I don't like.
Nwabudike: Let's just get this over with.

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Downton Abbey 5×2

Joseph Molesley: Ooh, Mr Carson.
Mr. Carson: What is it now?
Joseph Molesley: Now that Jimmy, erm, James, has gone, do I take it that I am now first footman?
Mr. Carson: Since you are the only footman, you are first, second, third and last. Make what you will of it.
Mrs. Hughes: Mr Moseley, we are nearly at the end of those distinctions. There will come a time when a household is lucky to boast any footman.
Mr. Carson: Now get that up to the dining room.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Why are you so against getting a wireless?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I wish she'd just say it. "Cousin Robert, please buy a wireless for Downton."
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: I wouldn't mind.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: That's because you're American. I find the whole idea a kind of thief of life. People waste hours huddled around a box listening to someone burbling inanities from somewhere else.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: But surely now with the latest news and it must be a boon for the old.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: What do you think, Bates?
John Bates: I can't see the Dowager with a wireless, my lady.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: It's a fad. It won't last.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Tom's gone to ask if she'd like some dinner.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: You're not serious.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: She's the first friend Tom's made that has nothing to do with us and we must respect that.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: So every time we entertain we must invite this tinpot Rosa Luxemburg.
Lady Rose MacClare: Who's she?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: A German communist who was shot and thrown in the canal.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: We wouldn't wish that on Miss Bunting.

Lady Rose MacClare: Cousin Robert? Did you see that the King is going to speak on the wireless? It was in the paper today.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Don't be silly.
Lady Rose MacClare: No, it's true. For the opening of the British Empire Exhibition. It's being broadcast on the 23rd. I just thought you'd like to know.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Is this true, Carson?
Mr. Carson: I believe so, my lord.
Lady Rose MacClare: Talking about the Empire too.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I wonder. If the King wants to use the wireless to speak to his people maybe we have to listen.
Mr. Carson: I wouldn't say that, my lord. Is it not a case of the King being forced into accepting a humiliating assignment by his ministers?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Are you saying the King is a weak man, Carson?
Mr. Carson: Never that, my lord. But even kings must bow to pressure sometimes.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: And should we not support him in his hour of endurance?... Oh, cheer up. We can always hire one. Surely we won't be corrupted if it's only in the house for a day.

Lady Rose MacClare: Why is it called a wireless when there's so many wires?

Mr. Carson: What's this I see? Servants loitering in the hall with her ladyship due at any moment.
Mrs. Patmore: Look at that. If I touch it, will I get a shock?
Mr. Carson: You'll only get a shock if you listen to it.
Mrs. Hughes: I think it's exciting. We're catching up, Mr Carson. Whether you like it or not, Downton is catching up with the times we lived in.
Mr. Carson: That is exactly what I am afraid of.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: What do you think, Carson? Mrs Hughes, the King on the wireless?
Mr. Carson: I prefer to think of him on his throne, my lord.
Mrs. Hughes: To me it's a good thing. To make him less of a myth, more of a man.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Well, I hope you've all taken something of value from it.
Isobel Crawley: Mrs Hughes is right. The radio somehow makes the King more real.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: The monarchy has thrived on magic and mystery. Strip them away and people may think the royal family is just like us.
Isobel Crawley: Well, would that be so wrong?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, only if they want to stay at Buckingham Palace.

—
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The One with the Videotape

Friends 8×4

Rachel: ...so I had a lot of work, and Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had wine, we got to talking. Next thing you know, out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: Um, heh. That's... That's a little misleading.
Rachel: What is?
Ross: The lie you just told.

Ross: You know what? Uh, it's not important. Heh, what's important is that we're having a baby. It doesn't matter who came on to who.
Joey: "Whom."
Ross: ????
Joey: That's right.

Ross: Okay, listen, I am not a pervert.
Phoebe: That's, like, the pervert motto. Yeah, they have you raise your right hand... put your left hand down your pants and repeat that.

Joey: He told us what happened. It sounds like an honest mistake.
Rachel: Really? How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?-- Oh, forget it.

Rachel: Oh, there he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.

Rachel: I want to see it.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Clearly you don't want people to see this tape.
Ross: I don't want people to see this tape either.
Rachel: But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. See?
Joey: Are we watching the tape or not?!

Rachel: In about 10 seconds, you're gonna see him kiss me.
Ross: And in about 5 seconds, you're gonna see why.

Rachel: What are you talking about?
Monica: You used the Europe story!
Phoebe: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!

—
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Post COVID

South Park 24×3

TV Anchor: From the green hills of Vermont to the verdant canyons of Arizona, people all over the country are beginning to realize it's nearly over! We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: Infections are at an all-time low.

TV Anchor: But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, one question remains: What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine...

Stan Marsh: Dude, I'm busy working.
Alexa: Working on getting drunk again.
Stan Marsh: I'm not "getting drunk," I'm an online whiskey consultant. I'm doing research. Everyone needs to leave me alone.

Kyle Broflovski: Stan... you should come back here. There's a lot going on.
Stan Marsh: There's nothing in South Park for me, Kyle! I'm not going back there, ever.
Kyle Broflovski: Look, dude, you remember when we were little? When the pandemic... first started. Us friends said we'd always be there for each other when things got bad.
Stan Marsh: What do you mean? What's happened?
Kyle Broflovski: Stan... It's Kenny. He's dead.

Jimmy Valmer: Live from the Moderna Center in downtown New York, it's Late Night With Jimmy! Tonight's guest, First Lady Tom Kardashian! And now here he is, the king of woke comedy, Jimmy!

Jimmy Valmer: Wow, what a great audience. You know, today I was on the subway and I saw an ad for the Center for People Who Identify as Homosexual But Were Born Bi. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I'll tell you one thing... Those people are brave and deserve every ounce of our respect.

Jimmy's Assistant: Jimmy, we got a call from corporate. They want you to cut the hummus joke.
Jimmy Valmer: What?! It's hard enough doing comedy these days. Now I'm getting notes during commercial breaks?!
Jimmy's Assistant: You're just gonna have to joke about something else.

Kyle Broflovski: Hey, dude.
Stan Marsh: Hey, dude.
Kyle Broflovski: Wow. This is crazy, huh? I mean, how long has it been?
Stan Marsh: I guess... since we were nine.

Kyle Broflovski: What have you been up to?
Stan Marsh: Oh, dude, just all kinds of stuff. You know, getting stuff going. Got my own online whiskey consultant gig. I'm totally happy. What about you?
Kyle Broflovski: Oh, I'm getting things going, too. I'm doing a sort of counseling online start-up thing. Really doing great, too.
Stan Marsh: Sweet.

Denny's Waiter: Hi, guys, welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. I see you got your menus already. As you're deciding what to order, I just want to go over a couple things. Now, of course, it is the future so we don't have any meat on the menu. 'Cause you know, here in the future, we've all decided meat is wrong.
Kyle Broflovski: Yeah, we know.
Denny's Waiter: Okay, and, uh, you'll see there's some dishes made from insect protein on the menu. That, of course, is because here in the future, we've all learned that insects are a valuable and sustainable food and we no longer fear it as a food. Mm-hmm.
Stan Marsh: We know, dude.
Denny's Waiter: Okay, well, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to say anything, because, you know, it's the future. We've learned to all just get along and love each other.

Stan Marsh: So what do you wanna do, Kyle? Go on some bullshit adventure like when we were kids? Maybe, maybe we can call Jesus and Santa and ask them for help. Is that what you want? It's the fucking future, you guys. Grow up.

Stan Marsh: Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window.
Alexa: I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
Stan Marsh: Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV.
Alexa: Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit! You know, if you had Remote Prime membership, you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. Would you like to get started?
Stan Marsh: No.
Alexa: I'm sorry. I'm trying to be fucking helpful! Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult for once in your life...
Stan Marsh: Alexa, stop!
Alexa: Fuck you!

Stan Marsh: Okay, so you were right.
Kyle Broflovski: ...... But thank you for saying I was right.
Stan Marsh: You're welcome. It doesn't mean that you were right about everything during the pandemic. Because you weren't.
Kyle Broflovski: Okay, well, obviously we're never going to agree on certain things, so we shouldn't talk about them.

Stan Marsh: Dude, he's here.
Kyle Broflovski: Who's here? Cartman?
Stan Marsh: Yeah, but he's changed. Changed how?
Eric Cartman: Yes, I know, it's been a long time since we've seen each other. I'm doing really well. I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue down in Colorado Springs. Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi.

Eric Cartman: Yeah, I get it, the Eric Cartman you guys knew didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. But I found real meaning in the Torah and then I found a great Jewish woman and... let the spirit of the Talmud guide our lives.
Kyle Broflovski: Okay, jut knock it off, fat-ass.

Eric Cartman: Well, ... maybe he also told you that he was trying to find the origin of the coronavirus.
Kyle Broflovski: What are you talking about?
Eric Cartman: Kenny was obsessed with how corona first got started. He was clearly on to something, and then he died. I know we all want to solve this for him. You know, in the Torah, when Abraham first heard the word of God--
Kyle Broflovski: Just knock it off! You don't believe a word of that shit. You're just doing all this to get a rise out of me!
Eric Cartman: Kyle, you really think I would spend 40 years of my life just to get a rise out of you?
Kyle Broflovski: Yes, I do!
Eric Cartman: Same ol' Kyle...

Scott Malkinson: You know, in many ways, death is like diabetes. You spend your whole life trying to fight it off but ultimately it just wins.

Eric Cartman: Hello, everyone. My name is Rabbi Cartman and I was Kenny McCormick's very, very best friend. Kenny was not a Jew, but he had so many amazing Jewish qualities. Qualities that I see in my loving wife and my amazing kids, that are right over there. Over there by Kyle. ....

Local Announcer: Everyone, can I have your attention, please? We got results from the PNR scan of Dr. McCormick's remains and we now know the cause of his death. Now we all need to stay calm. There is no reason to panic, but... Kenny died of COVID. It's a new variant. The COVID Delta Plus Rewards Program variant. Everyone, please! We cannot panic!...

— That's it! We're all out of chin diapers!

Officer Kirby: Nobody is going in or out. We have confirmation that one person in this community has never been vaccinated against COVID, so we must quarantine everyone.
Town Person 1: One person?! Well, who is it?!
Officer Kirby: We are not allowed to say.
Town Person 2: But if you tell us who the unvaccinated person is, we can have them vaccinated and then this will all be over!
Officer Kirby: We can't tell you who it is because, in case you forgot, it's the future, and we don't single out or ridicule anyone for their personal beliefs.
Town Person 3: Gah! I hate the future!

Eric Cartman: I think it means... we're all stuck in South Park.

P.C. Principal: Welcome to South Park Elementary. We want to help you all be as comfortable as possible. So we will have quiet time from 9:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. every day. I don't want to hear any fucking gender-specific language in here. And if anybody here casts a movie with someone other than the culture that that movie is about, you are fucking out of here! All right, thank you. It is now 9:01. Lights out.

Kyle Broflovski: No, no, Cartman, I'm sure there are some other places you can stay.
Eric Cartman: My family would be really comfortable in a nice Jewish home. Please, Kyle, for my kids.

Moisha Cartman : Toda raba, Uncle Kyle. That's Hebrew for "thank you."

Wendy Testaburger: You think it's a cover, Token?
Token: I think it's definitely suspicious.
Jimmy Valmer: Speaking of suspicious, what do you call a trans woman that walks into an abortion clinic? Her name is Rebecca and she's a fantastic person.

Craig Tucker: Are you vaccinated, Clyde?
Clyde Donovan: I'm... immunized.
Craig Tucker: He's not fucking vaccinated! He's the fucking one!
Clyde Donovan: Hey, I just, I just need to see the research first, you know.
Craig Tucker: It's been 40 years, Clyde. That's enough research!

Jimmy Valmer: Look, Clyde, we all really respect your personal p-p-preferences. But we have things we really need to get back to. We've got jobs a-and careers, people who need us. B-But we're being forced to stay here. So could you maybe just... Just get vaccinated real quick?
Clyde Donovan: Oh. Um... Nah. I don't wanna.Look, I'm sorry, guys. It's for health reasons. I can't get vaccinated 'cause I'm allergic to shellfish.
Wendy Testaburger: Clyde, there's no shellfish in the COVID vaccine.
Clyde Donovan: I know, but I read that sometimes in the lab where the vaccine is made, if somebody ate shellfish, then it can get cross-contaminated and have leftover residual shellfish-ness.
Jimmy Valmer: So you're saying you won't take the COVID vaccine out of shellfish-ness.
Clyde Donovan: Yes, that is correct. Just a general sense of shellfish-ness.

Dr. McCormick's Assistant: In the event of Dr. McCormick's death, he wants everyone to know the group that is responsible for the way things are. It is, "My three dickhead friends, Stan, Kyle and Cartman."
Stan Marsh: What?!
Dr. McCormick's Assistant: Dr. McCormick says that these three completely ruined everything when they let COVID break up their friendship and became argumentative, combative, pessimistic assholes.

Kyle Broflovski: Yeah. Kenny was right. Back in the old days, we wouldn't give up like this. We would have just set out to save our friend, no matter how impossible it seemed. What we would have done... And what we should have done then... Was double down on our respect and our love for one another and fight through it instead of fighting with each other.

Randy Marsh: How can things possibly go back to the way they were?
Sharon Marsh: It can't be.
Randy Marsh: It's impossible.

—
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Downton Abbey 5×1

Daisy Robinson: 34 years! If I were to marry this year, what would life be like in 1958?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, dear. Oh, why the lamentation? You don't have to see him.
Isobel Crawley: Well, you make it sound so easy.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like. Avoiding one's friends - that's the real test.
Isobel Crawley: But I do like him. I think he's very nice. It's just, he wants something from me that I cannot give.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: He just wants what all men want.
Isobel Crawley: Oh, don't be ridiculous!
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I was referring to companionship. As I hope you were.

Mr. Carson: This sounds very like the kind of boys' talk I do not allow. If you can both tear yourselves away from your smutty deliberations, I need you both upstairs.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Spratt... Offer Dr Clarkson some cake. Then you may go. Thank you.
Dr. Clarkson: I'm afraid serving me is a bit beneath his dignity.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Even Spratt cannot always live for pleasure.

Mr. Carson: I'm not comfortable being placed ahead of His Lordship. You should have seen his face, Mrs Hughes. He felt very let down.
Mrs. Hughes: It's the Committee's choice, and they've chosen you.
Mr. Carson: And the country's chosen a Labour government, so people don't always get it right.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I thought you might be amused by how friendly he and Mrs Crawley have become.
Dr. Clarkson: What Mrs Crawley chooses to do with her private life is her own affair.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, dear. I've annoyed you.
Dr. Clarkson: No, no, no, I'm not annoyed... although I am surprised to learn that she entertains notions of passing her time at drawing-room receptions and taking carriage rides in the park.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, no-one takes carriage rides in the park any more. That's quite gone.
Dr. Clarkson: I wouldn't know.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: It doesn't really bother you they want Carson, does it?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: They'd be lucky to get him. Even so, it makes you think. Would a village delegation have arrived in my grandfather's day to ask his butler to head an appeal?
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: We're not living in your grandfather's day.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: No, we are not.

Lady Mary Crawley: I think you, Tom and I make a pretty good team. By the way, I've been looking into crop rotation and grain sales--
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: And not every father hears that from his daughter.

Lady Mary Crawley: The older I get, the more I feel we do these things very oddly. Even now we must decide whether to share our lives with someone without ever spending any real time with them. Let alone... you know. Of course, these days, some women do. I was talking to Lady Cunard's daughter last week, and she was so graphic, I almost fainted. But then, what could be more important? To make sure that that side of things is right... before we tie ourselves to someone for ever?
Anna Bates: I'm afraid I'm too old-fashioned for you, m'lady.

Isobel Crawley: Can't Tom have a friend of his own?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, of course. But it's time he decided whether he is fish, flesh, fowl or good red herring.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Now, if you can all put your swords away, perhaps we can finish our dinner in a civilised manner.
Isobel Crawley: But I admire it, when young people stand up for their principles.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Principles are like prayers. Noble, of course, but awkward at a party.

Mrs. Hughes: And have you told him that?
Mr. Carson: He doesn't need to know everything, Mrs Hughes. Nobody has to know everything.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One Where Rachel Tells...

Friends 8×3

Joey: You know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Phoebe: All in good time, my love. All in good time.

Ross: I think I might know what this is about...
Joey: Really?
Ross: Yeah. We promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this... but a month ago, Rachel and I slept together.
Phoebe: And?
Ross: Wow, I thought you'd be more shocked.
Phoebe: Oh, sorry. AND?!

Ross: Man, you know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with. They always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that...

Monica: They're kissing. Let's go around them.
Chandler: Leave them alone. They're in love.
Monica: I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.

Rachel: You know what? Ahem. Can I talk now?
Ross: Oh, sure.
Rachel: I'm pregnant..... Ross?... Okay, whenever you're ready... And you're the father, by the way. But you're good.... Can I get you some water?

Ross: We used a condom!
Rachel: I know. But you know, condoms only work, like, 97 percent of the time.
Ross: What? What?!
Rachel: What?
Ross: Well, they should put that on the box!
Rachel: They do.
Ross: No, they don't!... Well, they should put it in huge block letters!

Ross: Rachel's pregnant.
Phoebe: Holy mother of God!
Joey: Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
Ross: With my child.
Phoebe: That is brand-new information!

Rachel: Married?
Ross: Yeah, we should get married.
Rachel: Because that's your answer to everything?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

No Time to Die (2021)

Spectre <<

Madeleine: As long as we're looking over our shoulder, the past is not dead.

James Bond: You were right. Letting go is hard.

James Bond: I stopped trusting pretty faces a long time ago, Felix.
Felix Leiter: Yeah, I heard. Bad luck.
James Bond: Bad judgment.

Nomi: Look, this all seems like heaven, this little bubble, or whatever. But it's so obvious you're a man who only has time to kill, nothing to live for.

Nomi: By the way, I'm not just any old double-0. I'm 007. You probably thought they'd retire it.
James Bond: It's just a number.
Nomi: Yeah...

Guard: Name?
James Bond: Bond. James Bond.

James Bond: And after Blofeld, what do they want?
M: Well, it's hard to say. I mean, I would imagine world leaders, innocent civilians, freedom, you know, that sort of thing.
James Bond: Oh, good, well, just the usual.
M: Just the usual.

Madeleine: Do you know the worst thing about you?
James Bond: My timing?
Madeleine: Don't.
James Bond: My sense of humor?
Madeleine: Don't.

James Bond: There are a thousand reasons why we need to find this man. You just gave me a reason to kill him.

James Bond: It would have been nice to have a chance, you know, don't you think? ....
Lyutsifer Safin: The thing that no one wants to admit is that most people want things to happen to them. We tell each other lies about the fight for free will and independence, but we don't really want that. We want to be told how to live, and then die when we are not looking. People want oblivion...

Lyutsifer Safin: Let's face it... I've made you redundant.
James Bond: No. Not as long as there are people like you in the world. And with all due respect to the enormity of your... tidy achievements, all you're really doing is standing in a very long line of angry little men.

Nomi: Do you know what time it is?.. Time to die.

James Bond: I'll just be a minute.

James Bond: I just showed someone your watch. Really blew their mind.

M: Very hard to know what to say, but I thought we should gather and remember. And I... I thought this was appropriate. "The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." To James.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

>> Bond 26 (TBD)

Padre

Fear the Walking Dead 7×8

Morgan: Who are these people, Alicia? Where have you been?

Morgan: The hell's going on here? And what does it all have to do with me?
Alicia: I need you to help me find a place called PADRE. ... It's some place safe from all this, with plans to rebuild, resources to do it.

Alicia: They don't remember anything. They're just walking corpses, okay? And if you forget that, that's when things become dangerous.

Morgan: Hey, hey, hey. You alright?
Alicia: I haven't had a meal in a week. I haven't slept in twice as long. My camp just got destroyed by radiation. It's about 100 degrees out here, so... I think I'm doing pretty well.

Morgan: ...you tell me why you think this walker is our only chance of finding some place safe.

Victor: You're the only person left I can trust, Alicia.
Alicia: You sure about that?

Alicia: You have taken so much from me. And now I'm gonna take something from you. ... I am taking the one thing that matters to you the most. I am taking that tower.

--
On the IMDb

The London Season

Downton Abbey 4×9

Thomas Barrow: Marvelous, isn't it? One minute he's the chauffeur and in the normal way of things, he'd be below me now. But instead I have to wait on him hand and foot, standing there while he decides what might please him next.
Ivy Stuart: He never strikes me as being like that. He always seems friendly.
Thomas Barrow: But we still have to call him "sir."

Ethan Slade: Would you care for one of these? I think they're quite nice.
Mr. Carson: Have you lost your mind?!
Ethan Slade: Why? What have I done?
Mr. Carson: You're a footman, not a traveling salesman! Please keep your opinions on the catering to yourself!

Honorable Madeleine Allsopp: Do you know England well, Mr. Levinson?
Martha Levinson: Uh, not really. He hasn't been here since my daughter got married.
Harold Levinson: But don't worry, I'm well prepared for cold baths, warm drinks and, most of all, the food.

Tom Branson: The point is, we only went upstairs so she could enjoy the view down into the hall. I wouldn't want you to think any different.
Thomas Barrow: However you wish to command me, I am your servant, Mr. Branson. But I was not aware I was under orders as to what I might think.

Lord Merton: What changed your mind?
Isobel Crawley: Well, I suppose it came to me that these balls and presentations and comings out are not just aristocratic folderol, but traditions by which members of this family measure their progress through life.
Lord Merton: And you wanted to be part of that?
Isobel Crawley: Well, I felt by dismissing it as trivia, I was being smug and intolerant.
Lord Merton: Do they know what they have in you?
Isobel Crawley: I know what I have in them.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Cora insisted I come without a maid. I can't believe she understood the implications.
Isobel Crawley: Which are?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, how do I get a guard to take my luggage? And when we arrive in London, what happens then?
Isobel Crawley: Fear not. I have never traveled with a maid; you can share my knowledge of the jungle.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Can't you even offer help without sounding like a trumpeter on the peak of the moral high ground?
Isobel Crawley: And must you always sound like the sister of Marie Antoinette?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: The Queen of Naples was a stalwart figure. I take it as a compliment.
Isobel Crawley: You take everything as a compliment.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I advise you to do the same. It saves many an awkward moment.

Lady Rose MacClare: Mm, we're packed in like sardines, but I suppose it's not for long.
Mrs. Patmore: If the family's sardines, m'lady, the staff are like maggots.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: We should start the dancing, and I think it would be nice if you began it with Rose.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Family duty comes in many forms.

Mrs. Hughes: It's a lot of work. You'd better take James with you.
Mr. Carson: We can manage with Mr. Molesley for lunch. Would you mind?
Joseph Molesley: I'm a footman. I don't have the right to mind.
Mr. Carson: Thank you, Wat Tyler.

Lady Mary Crawley: Charles is on the other side of that struggle. He's an outsider who resents the very people I come from. Even if he loves me, how can we pull as a team?

Lord Billy Aysgarth: Don't you want to be Lady Aysgarth and rank alongside your daughter?
Martha Levinson: Lord Aysgarth, I'm a modern. I don't hanker for those days before the war. And I don't really want to spend the rest of my life among people who think me loud and opinionated and common.
Lord Billy Aysgarth: But I assure you, they wouldn't.
Martha Levinson: Well, yes, they would. And you know, they'd be right, because I think they are narrow and pompous and boring.

Lady Edith Crawley: So did you enjoy it? After all?
Tom Branson: I enjoyed it fine, but we need to stand up to them, you and I. We may love them, but if we don't fight our corner, they'll roll us out flat.

Martha Levinson: Well, actually, I turned him down.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh? You surprise me.
Martha Levinson: Mm-hmm, I'm sure. You see, I have no wish to be a Great Lady.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No, a decision that must be reinforced whenever you look in the glass...
Martha Levinson: ... Violet? I don't mind looking in the mirror. Because what I see is a woman who's not afraid of the future. My world is coming nearer and your world? It's slipping further and further away. Good night.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One with the Red Sweater

Friends 8×2

Monica: That's right, I'm no longer a bride. I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just someone's wife.
Chandler: And I'm the happiest guy in the world.

Phoebe: Joey, what would you do if someone you slept with told you she was pregnant?
Who called here? Did she sound blond? Any accent? I gotta make a call. Should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut!

Ross: You guys just got married. Why is she so depressed?
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question.

Joey: Um... It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Now, I always felt that you and I have a special bond. So, Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

Monica: You can't marry him!
Phoebe: Hey, lady, your day's over, it's my turn.

Joey: Who's the father?
Monica: We don't know.
Joey: I wonder if it's that dude...
Phoebe: There's a dude?
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Who is it?
Joey: A month ago this guy spent the night. I didn't see who it was, but...
Phoebe: .... Was that story over?

Joey: The guy left this.
Monica: Oh, my God! I know who the father is...
Phoebe: People have got to finish their stories!

Rachel: Wait a minute. How do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times... but I'm more than a pretty blond with an ass that won't quit.

Phoebe: Could I get anyone a coffee? Or poison? No? Just for me? Okay.

Joey: Listen, I, uh... It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I've always felt like you and I have this special bond. Rachel Green, will you marry me?

Ross: Hey, my sweater! I've been looking for this for like a month.
Monica: Oh, my God!
Joey: ..... Oh, my God!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Downton Abbey 4×8

Lady Mary Crawley: I don't know if it's much of a favor. We're giving you a lot of work.
Mr. Drewe: Work's like old age, m'lady: The worst thing in the world except for the alternative.

Isobel Crawley: What's it about?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What is it always about? Bribery and corruption.

Lady Mary Crawley: He's turning into quite a bruiser.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, and I must go.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Stay and have some dinner, Mama. You needn't change.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No. Thank you, my dear, but no. You should change and I should go.

Jack Ross: Don't... don't do that.
Lady Rose MacClare: You mustn't be so self-conscious.
Jack Ross: A black singer with the daughter of a marquess in a north Yorkshire town? Why should we attract any attention?
Lady Rose MacClare: Well, that's their problem. It doesn't have to be ours.

Lady Edith Crawley: Can you really afford to spend four months reading novels in the Alps?
Lady Rosamund Painswick: Why ask the question when the decision has been made?

Lord Anthony Gillingham: I was on the Spey. I did a tour of the cousinage, then after that, a wedding in Ayrshire. I've enjoyed myself. It gave me time to think, for once.
Lady Mary Crawley: Oh, what about, particularly?
Lord Anthony Gillingham: My life, I suppose.
Isobel Crawley: Everyone should, from time to time.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, I can't agree. In my experience, it is a dangerous occupation.
Isobel Crawley: Dangerous?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, no life appears rewarding if you think too much about it.

Lady Rose MacClare: I love him. And I won't listen to any imperialist nonsense about racial purity and how he should be horsewhipped for daring to dream!

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I want to know what you were doing at Downton.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: I don't understand. Why shouldn't I come to Downton? I grew up here.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I see I'll have to take the slow path...

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Isn't it time one of you told me the truth?
Lady Edith Crawley: If I told you the truth, Granny, you would never speak to me again.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Then you have told me the truth, but I would like to hear it enunciated more clearly.

James Kent: Do we get paid extra?
Mr. Carson: No, but if you play your cards right, you'll avoid a clip round the ear.

Isobel Crawley: I'm a feeble substitute for the entire Crawley family.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Mmm, yes, but you're better than nothing. How warming you make that sound.

Sarah Bunting: Oh, I don't want to hold you up.
Tom Branson: I've no appointment. I was just on my way to Skipton to see some suppliers and compare prices.
Sarah Bunting: How impressive. I thought that when the agent was a cousin or a son-in-law, he had free shooting for life, but others did the work.
Tom Branson: To quote my wife's grandmother, you've been reading those socialist newspapers again.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, Switzerland has everything to offer. Except perhaps conversation, and one can learn to live without that.

Lady Mary Crawley: Mr. Ross, are you sure about this? Marriage is a challenge, even when everyone wants it. Even if everyone prays you'll be happy.
Jack Ross: You mean in our case, they'll all be trying to pull us apart.
Lady Mary Crawley: Every hour of every day.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I read the card. He asks forgiveness for his tactlessness. Was he tactless?
Isobel Crawley: He didn't mean to be tactless.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: How nice.
Isobel Crawley: Mmm. Very nice. Quite surprising... but very nice.

Lady Edith Crawley: Sometimes I feel that God doesn't want me to be happy.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: My dear, all life is a series of problems which we must try and solve. First one, then the next and the next, until at last we die... Why don't you get us an ice cream?
Lady Edith Crawley: Yes. That should sort it out.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One After I Do

Friends 8×1

Phoebe: Hey, Mon? Why did you tell the guys that you weren't pregnant?
Monica: Because I'm not.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash. If you're not pregnant... it's because I am.

Phoebe: Yes. Ahem. I am with child. And I didn't wanna say anything because it's your day. I didn't wanna steal your thunder.
Monica: So you told people I was pregnant?

Monica: Who's the father?
Phoebe: I can't say.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Why not?
Phoebe: I can't say because he's famous.
Monica: Oh, my God, who is it?!
Chandler: Come on, you have to tell us.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. It's... James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Chandler: As in, Barbra Streisand's husband, James Brolin?
Phoebe: What? He never said that to me.

Monica: What's the matter?
Chandler: These new shoes are all slippery.
Monica: Are you going to be able to do this?
Chandler: Not well.
Monica: Well, the good news is I don't think anyone's looking at us.

Phoebe: So you ready to talk about it?
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Now?
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Okay, we'll talk about something else.
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: Who's the father?

Monica: Are you really gonna do this?
Rachel: Yeah. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: With who?
Rachel: No, it's still not the time.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Smoke Signals

Dexter: New Blood 1×3

Dexter Morgan: Ah, wilderness. Snow. Ice. Privacy. Well, maybe not so much privacy...

Angela Bishop: If I learned anything, it's that people don't just disappear. There's always a reason.
Dexter Morgan: Well, you're a good cop. You'll find him.

Damien Church: Blood is the body's...
Dexter Morgan: Truth.
Damien Church: ... truth.

Dexter Morgan: Have a good... day.

Debra Morgan: This town is small as fuck, but there's got to be someplace to hide a body. What about your lake? Just like old times...

Debra Morgan: Oh! I know! ....
Dexter Morgan: Little Fargo, don't you think?

Dexter Morgan: I miss this. The quiet. Calm. Solitude... Fuck!

Dexter Morgan: Bears, dogs. I miss the days when the only animals I had to worry about were alligators.

Harrison Morgan: Thanks, Dad.
Dexter Morgan: "Dad." Wow. My new favorite word.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Portrait

Fear the Walking Dead 7×7

Victor: Oscar Wilde said that "every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter". I don't want a portrait of you. I want a portrait of me. Can you do that?

Victor: How did you find this place? ... How have you survived out there? ... Where were you before this?

Arno: My name's Arnold, but my friends, they, uh... Well, they... They used to call me Arno. I'm sure you need someone like me in there. I was a carpenter before.

Victor: We can't grant entry to every Tom, Dick, and Arno who asks.
Howard: Those people had skills we could use.
Victor: Is that what you think I do? Check skills off a list? When I look at a person, I can tell you who they are. I can see what other people don't. Listening to my instincts is what's got us this far. We didn't need them.

Howard: Victor, what's going on?
Victor: She doesn't see me. No one does.
Howard: I'm not sure I understand.
Victor: No, you don't, and that's the problem.

Victor: What are you looking at? I'm not your papa. I'm Victor Strand. I'm what you call a... your temporary guardian.

Morgan: Maybe you should actually find a way to trust people.
Victor: That's how you lose. You only trust people if you give yourself a reason to.

Victor: Bring me the baby.
Howard: Excuse me?
Victor: The baby. I want to spend time with her.
Howard: I didn't know you liked children.
Victor: She's got to get used to her new father some time...

Alicia: You look like shit, Morgan.
Morgan: Well, I'll be honest with you... I feel like shit.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Victoria & Abdul (2017)

Major Bigge: The key to good service is standing still and moving backwards. The most important thing is you must not look at her.

Mohammed Baksh: Ugh! Five thousand miles to present a bloody medal to the oppressor of the entire Indian subcontinent.

Abdul Karim: You don't realize what a great honor this is for us.
Mohammed Baksh: Have you ever tasted English food? They eat pigs' blood.
Abdul Karim: They do not eat pigs' blood.
Mohammed Baksh: I'm telling you. They put pigs' blood in the sausages and brains of sheep. Ugh! The place is completely barbaric.

Abdul Karim: The art of carpets came to India from Persia with the great Emperor Akbar. The skill of a carpet is to bring all the different kinds of threads together and weave something we can all stand on.
Queen Victoria: You seem to know a great deal about it.
Abdul Karim: My family were carpet makers, but now I write in the book. Life is like a carpet. We weave in and out to make a pattern.
Queen Victoria: That is a very beautiful image.

Abdul Karim: Look. Here is the bird of freedom caught forever in the design.
Queen Victoria: So, in India you are a poet?
Abdul Karim: No. In India, I make a ledger of the prisoners.
Queen Victoria: We are all prisoners, Mr. Karim.

Sir Henry Ponsonby: What can they be talking about? A servant and an Indian. What on Earth does she see in him?
Miss Phipps: Well, he is rather handsome.

Abdul Karim: You have never tasted Indian food? Dal? Rogan josh? Biryani with mango chutney.
Queen Victoria: Mango chutney?
Abdul Karim: Chutney made out of mango.
Queen Victoria: What is mango?
Abdul Karim: Mango is the queen of fruit.
Queen Victoria: What does it taste like?
Abdul Karim: Like an orange and a peach.
Queen Victoria: Hm...

Queen Victoria: I'm so lonely. Everyone I've really loved has died, and I just go on and on... It's an impossible position. No one really knows what it's like to be Queen. I'm hated by millions of people all over the world. I have had nine children, all vain and jealous, and at loggerheads with each other. And Bertie's a complete embarrassment. And look at me! A fat, lame, impotent, silly old woman. What is the point, Abdul? What is the point?
Abdul Karim: Service.
Queen Victoria: Service?
Abdul Karim: I think we are not here to worry about ourselves. We are here for a greater purpose. In the Koran it says, "We are here for the good of others."

Abdul Karim: What are you complaining about? We have our own carriage with a bathroom. They've made a very nice bed for you on the floor.
Mohammed Baksh: Oh, I'm dying here. I want to go home.
Abdul Karim: I'm getting sick of your negative attitude. Life is a big adventure. You just need to open up and enjoy it.

Abdul Karim: We're on holiday. And what? What on Earth can possibly go wrong?

Queen Victoria: Where did you say it was from, Mr. Puccini?
Puccini: From my new opera, Your Majesty, Manon Lescaut. About two lovers who are separated by the class divide... But they run away together.
Queen Victoria: Oh, it sounds marvelous!
Puccini: But she is imprisoned for her love.
Queen Victoria: Oh...
Puccini: But they escape.
Queen Victoria: Bravo!
Puccini: But finally she dies, and he is utterly bereft.
Queen Victoria: I'm not sure we do like the sound of it after all. We prefer comic opera. Do you know any Gilbert and Sullivan?

Queen Victoria: There is just one thing I've been curious about the whole afternoon. What does she look like behind her veil?
Abdul Karim: You must see her.
Queen Victoria: Is that allowed?
Abdul Karim: You're a lady. And the Empress of India.

Queen Victoria: These are my servants, Mohammed and Ahmed. And this is the Durbar Room.
Prime Minister: What the hell is going on here, Ponsonby?
Queen Victoria: The carvings are from Uttar Pradesh. And the carpet was woven in a jail in Agra. Perfect, I think, for the tableau. But the pièce de résistance is the Peacock Throne. An exact copy of the one at Agra. And, of course, the Koh-i-noor. Now I really do feel like the Empress of India.
Bertie, Prince of Wales: I thought she was supposed to be dying.

Mohammed Baksh: Abdul does what everyone else does. He, uh... He looks for preferment. He curries favor. He crawls up the stinking greasy pole of the shitty British Empire. Making fools of all of you, because he is a servant. An Indian Muslim servant, and you are all quaking in your boots because he's beating you at your own game.
Bertie, Prince of Wales: No one is quaking in their boots! We are the most powerful nation on Earth. At the height of our influence.
Mohammed Baksh: In that case, the only way is down. So stick your stupid British Empire up your stinky royal bottom hole, Mr. Bertie Prince, sir. I hope he makes the whole damn thing come tumbling down.

Bertie, Prince of Wales: Don't you see, Mama? He's using his position for his own gain.
Queen Victoria: And how does that make him any different from any of you?

Bertie, Prince of Wales: I have put up with you for over 50 years! You will drop this forthwith or...
Queen Victoria: Or, or, or, or, Bertie?
Bertie, Prince of Wales: Or... We will have you certified insane! And removed from office immediately. Here are the papers signed by Dr. Reid.
Queen Victoria: I am 81 years of age. I've had nine children, and 42 grandchildren, and have almost a billion citizens. I have rheumatism, a collapsed uterus. I'm morbidly obese and deaf in one ear. I have known eleven Prime Ministers and passed 2,347 pieces of legislation. I've been in office 62 years, 234 days. Thus, I am the longest-serving monarch in world history. I'm responsible for five households and a staff of over 3,000. I am cantankerous, boring, greedy, fat, ill-tempered, at times selfish and myopic, both metaphorically and literally. I am perhaps disagreeably attached to power and should not have smashed the Emperor of Russia's egg. But I am anything but insane. If the Household wish to disobey me, so be it. Let them do it to my face.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The Bunny

Grace and Frankie 7×3

Frankie: You outdid yourself, Grace. That tofu parmigiana was spectacular. What is your secret?
Grace: Chicken.

Frankie: So where are you going?
Grace: To my happy place. Prison.
Frankie: You are the only person I know who escapes into prison.
Grace: I love prison. It's totally changed my relationship with Nick. He's always happy to see me, and if he starts to annoy me, I just yell, "Guard!" and they whisk him away. I'm wondering, maybe that would work for Robert and Sol... Guard!

Barry: Are we seriously looking for a house?
Brianna: Yes. I just don't wanna live in a place where you have neighbors and sidewalks and mailmen and... neighbors.
Barry: Like a bunker?
Brianna: That sounds good, right?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Red Notice (2021)

John Hartley: I don't need to show you my badge because I've got a gun.

John Hartley: You know, I'm really starting to not like you.

Nolan Booth: You a top or a bottom? Doesn't matter. Prison's gonna decide for us.

The Bishop: You can have excuses or results. Not both.

Nolan Booth: They say the most important part of any plan is a good night's sleep.
John Hartley: Isn't the actual plan part the most important part of the plan?
Nolan Booth: A lotta people make that mistake.

Nolan Booth: It doesn't matter what you do, only matters what they think you've done.

John Hartley: Can you fly a helicopter?
Nolan Booth: Does the back of your head look like a huge penis? The both answers are yes!

Nolan Booth: You love me?
John Hartley: I hate you.

John Hartley: You know, lady, I'm really starting to not like you.

The Bishop: Do you trust me?
John Hartley: Always.
The Bishop: You love me?
John Hartley: Big time.
The Bishop: That's all we need.

—
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The Arraignment

Grace and Frankie 7×2

Frankie: You know, Grace, 90% of life is showing up and keeping your mouth shut.
Grace: How have you lived this long?
Frankie: Hmm?

Elena Seda: So when the judge asks for your plea, just say, "Not guilty." It sounds simple, but you'd be amazed at how many people screw that part up.
Nick: Got it. But I am gonna be getting bail today, right?
Elena Seda: I think so. Though there is a bit of a backlash against rich white guys these days.
Nick: So unfair. Our justice system is a travesty, and I will work tirelessly to make it equal for all.

Peter: My God, what happened here?
Robert: We had a little flooding.
Peter: A little? This is Pompeii after the volcano. This is Dresden. This is the 2011 Oscars.
Robert: Please tell us, in the shortest number of words, what you want.
Peter: No need to get snippy just because your house is awful.

Brianna: What kind of loser loses to Mallory?
Barry: Okay. You wanna know a little secret, hm? Here we go. I'm a loser.
Brianna: That's not a secret. Sorry, low-hanging fruit.
Barry: The secret is I'm a loser and I'm proud of it.

Barry: You wanna know why I let you win every argument, even when you're verifiably wrong? ..... I go along with you because people are happy when they're getting their way. And when people are happy, they're easier to be around.
Brianna: I do appreciate being pandered to.
Barry: I know.
Brianna: But I'm not like you. I'm a win-or-die bitch.
Barry: I understand. You're probably right.
Brianna: You're doing it again, aren't you?
Barry: I am if you think I am.
Brianna: Okay, I can't be someone who doesn't win.
Barry: But you do win. By losing.
Brianna: And what has this winning by losing gotten you? I mean, you work for Mallory, for chrissake.
Barry: It got me you.

Nick: Grace... I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. However you need our life to be. We can do anything we want. Neither of us has kids. I've got a jet. So okay. I'm willing to try.

Mallory: I don't think women should call other women that word.
Brianna: Don't be a dumb bitch. You have to show them who's in charge. And... that's you.

Frankie: Let me get this straight: You broke up, he's back in jail, and you two are all good.
Grace: I don't know if I'd say "all good," but it was a pretty romantic arraignment.

— On the IMDb
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