& Stewardess: Honey, don’t worry about anything. Those seat belts are not gonna help you. Nothing out there can help you. If we go down, we go down. So you might as well fuck me! Okay, concentrate and then fuck me.
& Sandee: We’d like to try something new, maybe work for you guys.
Tanya: You want me to pimp your fiance?
Sandee: Yes.
& Charlie: Will he do dudes?
Sandee: What?
Charlie: Your fiance... Will he fuck men?
Sandee: Yes, I think that can be arranged.
& Ray: Okay, so nothing strange, no break-ins?
Yael: I think 69-ing on the dock is strange, Ray, but what do I know?
& Yael: Maybe it was the lady with the crazy hair who’s always yelling... Maybe it was the cop who arrested you in front of my house last week... Maybe it was the redhead who liked to walk around in the nude... Miss Fire-Crotch, right?
& Ray: Is Lenore here?
Chinese Woman: Foot massage?
Ray: No-no, we need Lenore Bernard.
Chinese Woman: Don’t do that here! Just massage.
& Tanya: We’d bring Jason on as an additional consultant and then take a percentage. Kind of like a merger.
& Lenore: Ray, you’re an asshole. I am dealing here with people with real problems, okay? All you have is a big dick and a missing shoebox. And right now I don’t care about either.
& Charlie: You’re holding her back, Ray.
Ray: I’m what?
Charlie: You’re a stubborn middle-age ho who don’t do dudes.
Ray: Come on.
Charlie: You wanna listen up and just let the truth permeate? Because this ain’t about you. It’s about dollars and cents. You got to open yourself to the economics of the situation.
Lee Fields & Sugarman & Co. — Stand Up
♪ Stand up... let’s get it right. ♪
♪ Stand up... let’s keep it tight. ♪
♪ Stand up... let’s get it together. ♪
♪ Stand up... let’s make it other side. ♪
& Charlie: Your dick got an expiration date, Ray. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but sometime. And the smart move would be to think ahead, maybe see this Jason kid as your 401k.
& Ray: You know you’re living with a pimp, right?
Tanya: Yeah, I know.
& Lenore: Kyla, this new girl who’s on a date with Ray, she wanted me to tell him... but I’ve just been so busy... I meant to, but I didn’t even know if it’d be a problem for him.
Tanya: All right, what is it?!
Lenore: The woman Ray’s on a date with is a man. She’s a man.
“— Та волна чуть не смыла меня однажды в октябре. ...
& — В моем случае это была волна... Не знаю, как будет с вами, но так вышло, что в один злополучный день оно предстало передо мной в облике гигантской роковой волны.
& Рисунки выглядели намного искусней, чем их образ в моей памяти. Глядя на них, я почувствовал, какое сердце билось в груди малолетнего К., и понял, какими глазами он смотрел на мир. Рассматривая картины, я сцена за сценой отчетливо вспоминал, что мы делали, где бывали вместе с К. Ведь то были и мои детские глаза, безоблачные и живые, которыми я в то время смотрел на мир.
& — Вот что я думаю. Самое жуткое в нашей жизни — не страх. Он был всегда, он и до сих пор является нам в разных обличьях, иногда портя жизнь. Самое жуткое — повернуться спиной к страху и закрыть глаза. И тогда мы невольно уступаем ЧЕМУ-НИБУДЬ свое самое сокровенное. В моем случае...
& Jake: That’s a cool snake tattoo on your back.
Isabella: Thanks. That’s Anacoth, the demon who eats human souls.
Jake: My friend Jeffrey has a dog that eats his own poop. He tries to lick our face, but we don’t let him.
& Alan: Isabella, I hate to be a fuddy-duddy, but we try to keep the house smoke-free.
Isabella: I’m sorry. Charlie didn’t say anything when I was smoking in bed last night.
Alan: Yeah, well, Charlie’s lungs aren’t always on the same page as his penis.
& Charlie: Isabella’s taking me to a party. She said it’s going to be out of control. Can you imagine what this girl considers to be out of control?
Alan: Well, let’s see... Uh, biting the head off a live chicken?.. Vivisecting homeless people and playing hacky-sack with their still-beating hearts?..
& Alan: Morning.
Berta: Morning. Great googly-mooglies! What the hell happened to you?
Alan: I’m not sure.
Berta: Looks like you got bit on the face by one of them ebola monkeys.
Alan: I don’t think so Berta.
Berta: I mean, you weren’t exactly eye candy going in, but... now, woof! You could scare the flies off a manure truck.
Alan: Thank you. Until you said that, I was feeling a little self-conscious.
& Berta: Hey, Vampira... tell Count Humpula to get out of bed so I can change his sheets.
& Servilia: Atia of the Julii, I call for justice.
& Mark Antony: You tell your eminent friends to shut their mouths. Tell them to go look on Cicero’s hands in the Forum and remember what happens to those that prattle of tyranny.
& Mark Antony: What are you proposing?
Octavian: I suggest we divide the territory of Rome into three. Each one of us shall assume command of one region.
Mark Antony: ... Sounds reasonable. Who gets what?
Octavian: I haven’t considered that yet.
& Pullo: This was a mistake. This never happens again.
Gaia: Shame. You and me go nicely together, don’t you think?
& Newsreader: All citizens be aware that the vassal Prince Herod, Tetrarch of Galilee, has come to the city. By order of the Triumvirate, during his residence here, all mockery of Jews and their one God shall be kept to an appropriate minimum.
& Mark Antony: That is what I call a good morning’s work.
Posca: Indeed. A good morning’s work. May I inquire what my share will be?
Mark Antony: Share? Share of what?
Posca: Of Herod’s gift.
Mark Antony: What gift? {...} Let me be clear. There was no gift. Herod came here today to discuss administrative issues of taxes on olive groves, of border defenses against the Parthians. There was no gift.
& Levi: He’s worse than his father. He’ll make our people slaves and idolaters. He should die. The bastard should die!
Timon: Well, it would be a mitzvah, no doubt.
Levi: I’m serious.
Timon: Come on. Us?
Levi: If not us, then who? Herod is here. We are here. The future of our people is in our hands.
& Octavian: This arrangement of ours cannot work if you seek every opportunity to aggrandize* yourself at my expense.
Mark Antony: Aggrandize myself? This from the boy who... whose so-called father has been declared a god.
Octavian: An honor he well deserves.
Mark Antony: You only did it so that you might be known as the son of a god. You have no accomplishments of your own, so you seek to borrow the glory of others.
& Mark Antony: I’ll have the newsreader say something, “Renewed vows of amity” and so forth.
Atia: No one believes what the newsreader says.
Octavian: You have some notion you wish to suggest?
Atia: I do. If a marriage was to happen between our two houses... no one could doubt all was well.
Mark Antony: Well, I don’t care if all Italy burns, I’ll not marry him.
& Atia: What?
Octavian: If we are to discuss a marriage contract, it’s inappropriate for a woman to be present.
Atia: Yes, sorry. Carry on. Be sure to leave enough time for my dressmaker to make me something nice.
& Agrippa: Why did Octavian do this?
Maecenas: Simple. Octavia is more likely to provide children. And what is marriage, if not a machine for the production of babies?
& Octavian: Please try to see beyond your own desires. I couldn’t very well let you marry Antony. Everybody knows you were lovers. The public would assume it was a marriage of mere sentiment, of lust*. Whereas this match is clearly a political statement of unity.
& Mark Antony: You cannot stay in here. Our guests will wonder where you are.
Atia: Well, our guests can go and fuck themselves!
& Mark Antony: There was no choice. Your son would have it no other way.
Atia: And he is your master?
Mark Antony: He is my political partner. Policy dictates that...
Atia: Policy be damned. Speak plain. You love power more than you love me.
Mark Antony: They are two completely different things. This marriage has nothing to do with us. It changes nothing. Love, and you and I... It changes nothing.
Из всех убитых деревьев это я помню лучше всех. Из неубитых тоже. ...
& В простой физической работе безусловно тупеешь. Достижение цели не подвергается сомнению. Цели может здорово не повезти, когда ты ее достигаешь. И цель сопротивляется и мстит тебе как может.
... А потом ужасно печально, что когда делаешь дело, некогда быть добрым, зато всегда есть время быть неумным.”
Фото с мальчиком
Мне дали в бригаду шесть пацанов, и это были совсем молодые пацаны. ...
& Прошел ливень, а грязь неромантична.
... Через месяц пацаны фотики куда-то закинули.”
АРХЕОЛОГИ
Сухой закон
Народ у нас пьющий, но археологи были — это что-то особенное. Возникало впечатление, что все, что они не могут выкопать, они просто высосут. Оботрут, пронумеруют и опишут. ...
& Сухой закон держался в России с 1914 по 1922 год. В порядке исторической компенсации этому полезному начинанию произошла Мировая война, Гражданская война и две революции. Сухой закон в Америке кончился всемирной Великой Депрессией.
Поэтому мы на острове Березань сопротивлялись грядущим катаклизмам и крушению державы как могли. Мы были историки, и мы спасали будущую историю страны.
& Вечером пили «вермут». Самодельное же местное, но крепленое. Перебродившее с сахаром, настоянное для забористости на табаке и курином помете. Это была штука посильнее «Фауста» Гете.
... Такое впечатление, что люди были сражены собственным пафосом.”
Лейтенант Шмидт
На Березани расстреляли героя революции 1905 года лейтенанта Шмидта. Петра Петровича. Не всей революции, только ее черноморского филиала. ...
& Озлобленные и измученные борьбой с настоящим, археологи хамски отзывались обо всем, что имело отношение к революции.
& Ему было сорок лет, он был призван по случаю войны из торгового флота, он спер корабельную кассу и бормотал смехотворное на суде чести, он не пожелал воспользоваться револьвером с одним патроном, он был уволен с флота, чтоб не поднимать шум позора. Забузившие в 1905 году матросики решили пригласить его в командиры восстания: он офицер, он обижен, он свойски держался. Шмидт, уволенный на пенсию с повышением в следующий чин, как тогда было принято (но без права ношения формы), надел мундир с погонами капитана второго ранга и поехал по кораблям агитировать офицеров. И был сброшен с борта в шлюпку с вырванными погонами.
... Прилично и романтично погуляв, пары сворачивали в густую траву по пояс и там исчезали.”
Бандера Росса
Начальником же экспедиции был профессор Ленинградского Института археологии. ...
& Старый профессор был коммунист. И вообще археологи были советские люди. Но с юмором. И обозленные на советскую власть за разные трудности.
Дядя расправил свои красные знаменные трусы и стал носиться по поляне, как паровоз. Он хорошо играл.
& Raj: What choice did the university have? He snapped*.
Leonard: It happens to theoretical physicists all the time.
Howard: I wonder how long Sheldon’s got...
Sheldon: These shrimp are all the same size! There’s no the logical order to eat them in!
Leonard: Can’t be very long.
& Amy: I wanted to get you something you didn’t have.
Penny: Wow! I... I don’t know what to... Wow.
Amy: Do you like it?
Penny: Do I like it? Wow.
& Sheldon: President Siebert?
President Siebert: Can’t this wait?
Sheldon: I’m sorry. We just need a word.
President Siebert: Now? You realize I’m your boss, and I am holding my penis?
& President Siebert: Gentlemen, there’s a task I’m trying to accomplish here, and I’m having trouble doing it.
Sheldon: Oh, my. President Siebert, I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but difficulty initiating a urine stream could be a symptom of benign prostatic hyperplasia. If you’re interested, I can send you a link to a YouTube video that’ll show you how to perform your own rectal exam. Uh, helpful hint... trim your nails first.
& Sheldon: He’s just trying to butter you up! And for the record, butter is an excellent lubricant for your rectal exam.
& Bernadette: That is big.
Penny: So big.
Bernadette: And ugly.
Penny: So ugly.
& Bernadette: You can’t take it down. You’ll break her heart. Look at that face... That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.
& Raj: Would you look at this?! I paid $25 to some kid on eBay for a handcrafted Harry Potter wand. He sent me a stick. He went into his backyard, he picked up a stick.
Howard: It’s numbered.
Raj: Ooh, limited edition. Nice.
& Kripke: Let’s get down to brass tacks.
Sheldon: Fine. In the interest of preserving our friendship...
Kripke: We’re not friends.
Sheldon: Well, that’s a little hard to hear, but all right. As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind, I propose the following... I will take Rothman’s office, and you will find a way to be okay with that.
Kripke: How about I take Rothman’s office, and you go suck a lemon?
& Kripke: What the frig* is that?
Sheldon: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock was created by Internet pioneer Sam Kass as an improvement on the classic game Rock-Paper-Scissors. All hail Sam Kass.
— Hail!
Kripke: How does it work?
Sheldon: Oh, it’s very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Kripke: ........... I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?
Sheldon: Well, of course. Scissors cuts paper, paper...........
& Amy: Oh, what a great movie.
Penny: I cannot believe you’ve never seen Grease.
Amy: My mother didn’t allow me to watch it. She was afraid it might encourage me to join a gang.
& Bernadette: I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get up early. My company’s testing a new steroid that supposedly doesn’t shrink testicles, and the last one there has to do a measuring.
& Amy: Our friendship is fundamentally asymmetrical. I clearly like you more than you like me.
Penny: I don’t think you can put a number on how much one person likes another.
Amy: I bought you a painting that’s 12 square feet in area. There’s a number.
Penny: Amy, come on...
Amy: If you don’t like feet, you can try dollars. The painting set me back three grand.
& Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I’m trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt.
& Leonard: Why is there a hole here?
Sheldon: Why is there a hole in my new office? I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: “There was something in the wall that someone outside the wall wanted,” or the more disturbing, “there was something in the wall that wanted out.”
& Amy: Originally we were painted nude... But I had him add clothes, ’cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But if you ever change your mind, all it would take is... some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You’re talking... about the... painting, right?
Amy: Sure.
& Leonard: Why would you do that?
Sheldon: It’s called scientific curiosity! Now go get butter.
& Chase: Patient makes a living telling men to behave more like women. I’m surprised you didn’t throw psych symptoms into the differential.
& House: The patient’s philosophy makes perfect sense. Its only flaw is that it’s impossible. Evolution does not work that way. You can’t talk legs onto a fish. We’re gonna go extinct, and we’re gonna do it drinking scotch and driving muscle cars. Am I right?.. Am I... thank you.
& Adams: Who’s that?
Chase: His wife.
& Dominika: Our green card interview is in four days. They come to the apartment, they ask questions about marriage, vacations, family history, what side of the bed each sleep on.
House: ... We’ve never taken a vacation, I don’t like your family, and on top.
& House: I hear Kiev is lovely this time of year.
& Dominika: Can it be that genius doctor is afraid to take on a silly government apparatchik?
House: Well, I would say more not interested than afraid, but why quibble?
Dominika: Then I go to plan “B.” Make you an offer that cannot be refused.
& House: Need my apartment key back.
Wilson: If you’re breaking up with me, can we at least talk about it first?
House: Maybe if you weren’t all nag and no shag.
Wilson: I don’t sleep with married men.
& Wilson: What’s in this for you?
House: This is what men do for the women they pretend to love. Also... she’s paying me 30,000 bucks once we pass.
& Patient: Do you know what’s wrong with me?
House: Nothing that The Golden Girls couldn’t have handled in 23 hilarious minutes.
& Chase: It’s not a plumbing problem. Means it’s probably neurological.
House: And?..
Chase: And... name Dominika’s three brothers.
House: Uh... Volodymyr, Oleksiy, and...
Adams: Low testosterone is off the table as a symptom. {...}
House: Fjodor.
Chase: It’s Fedir.
& Chase: Is Fedir the one who married Mykola?
House: Mykola is Dominika’s uncle.
Adams: How is it you can retain every detail of our habits and personal lives, and none of this?
House: ’Cause I find it hard to remember things I don’t give a crap about.
& Park: So nobody cares about the job till I apply, and suddenly it’s the last limited-edition lightsaber at Comic-Con.
Chase: Just seems like it should go to someone with more... Seniority.
Adams: Meaning you.
Chase: I said “more,” not “most.”
Adams: Meaning you or Taub.
& House: Your grandmother’s kind of sexy.
Dominika: That is Taras Shevchenko, the greatest Ukrainian poet.
House: Is he the guy behind “There once was a man from Kremenchuk”?
& Dominika: Help me move coffee table.
House: Well, then where will we have coffee? And by “coffee” I mean scotch.
Dominika: Coffee and booze are artificial high for me. High is in exercise.
& Park: Amy Grant?!
House: I know. But there’s a hot girl jumping up and down in my living room, so...
& Park: Welcome to my wheelhouse.
House: You brought a protractor?
Park: You never know when you might need to make a pie chart. {...} We’ll be using a basic alphabet technique with a mnemonic multiplier. In high school, they called me “The Bookie Monster.”
& Adams: You really think this guy’s gonna hulk out once the hormones kick in?
Taub: Some male lizards do push-ups to attract mates. When scientists gave them extra testosterone, they did push-ups until they died. Same drive you took advantage of to get Chase to carry a box of files down to your car yesterday.
& Taub: What happened to not letting House get to you? You’re like lemmings, marching off the cliff of competitive humiliation.
& Park: Does Dominika still communicate with her high school friends?
House: Uh, Vasyl, yes. Oksana, no. Not since she kissed Pavlo. ’Cause that bitch knew that Dominika liked him.
Wilson: Wrong.
Dominika: Oh, Oksana is a slut. Dead to me.
Wilson: The right answer is the wrong answer. No husband would pay that much attention to his wife’s friend dramas.
Park: Haven’t you been divorced three times?
Wilson: In-between those divorces, I was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total, which is 12 years longer than anyone in this room.
& House: Can we hurry this up? I have a government to defraud at noon.
& House: I have to get home before my fake wife gets real annoyed.
& House: There’s a simple explanation.
& House: I know, it sounds like a phone, but it’s a timer to remind me to pee before our meeting.
& Dominika: Please, I am begging, do not send him back to jail.
& Dominika: It was fake, but... It felt real. This man... My husband. I want to stay with him, but if I cannot, please send me away, and let him be free. I love him.
& House: What you just said in there...
Dominika: Don’t worry. I’m much too smart to be falling in love with you. I will be needing extra shelf in bathroom.
& House: Even your attempt to get your balls back lacks balls.
& House: You were smart not to enter. Never in, never lose. And since you no longer have stones...
Taub: I’ll split the 50 a week with you.
House: Deal.
Amy Grant Every Heartbeat
♪ I’m simple, but I’m no fool ♪
♪ I’ve got a witness happy to say ♪
♪ every hour, every day ♪
♪ every heartbeat bears your name ♪
♪ loud and clear, they stake my claim ♪
♪ my red blood runs true blue ♪
♪ and every heartbeat belongs to you ♪
& Hershel: You want me to cover Glenn?
Rick: You missed all that gun training. It could’ve come in handy now.
Hershel: Nah, I can shoot. I just don’t like to.
& Hershel: Rick wants you to try for the car.
Glenn: Try?!
Hershel: You’ll try and succeed. I’ll cover you.
Glenn: That’s a great plan.
& Shane: You know what? I’m gonna go get him some flowers and candy. Look at this, folks... We’re back in fantasy land.
& Lori: Shane thinks I’m his. He thinks the baby’s his. And he says you can’t protect us, that you’re gonna get us killed. He’s dangerous, Rick, and he won’t stop.
♪ Brothers, hold the line ♪
♪ Till we got something ♪
♪ This world is way too small ♪
♪ To feel like nothing ♪
& Laura LaCarubba: Hey, get off of that thing. It’s Saturday night.
Adam Richman: Well, it’s Sunday in Korea, and those motherfuckers don’t stop working. They make the Japanese look like Jamaicans.
& Eric Keppler: Hey, you two, get a room or get a video camera!
& Eric: While this will be the most spectacular and insane party any of us have taken part of, it’s not gonna be a big thing. It’s just gonna be us... It’s gonna be small, intimate, special. {...} We’re gonna have... an orgy.
Adam: Who?
Eric: Us.
Willow Talbot: Where?
Eric: Right here. Labor Day weekend.
Laura: Us? A naked... sex... orgy?
Alison Lobel: You’re kidding, right?
Eric: No, I’m not. Why not us?
& Eric: People used to have them all the time.
Mike McCrudden: All the time.
Eric: What happened to our generation?
Mike: What happened?
Eric: I’ll tell you exactly what happened. AIDS.
Mike: AIDS.
Eric: AIDS hit right when we hit puberty. And it scared the shit out of all of us. It turned sex into this big, frightening thing.
Doug Duquez: He’s right. Kids today are freaks, our parents were freaks, we’re a bunch of fucking pussies.
Mike: We’re the lamest generation.
Eric: This is our chance. Our chance to do it right. Take back what’s been taken from us.
& Eric: We need to think outside of the box.
Mike: ...And inside the box.
& Eric: Fine, but other than social awkwardness, give me one reason.
Adam: Oh, very well. How about I give you several reasons? Like, oh, I don’t know, chlamydia, the herp, gonorrhea, syphilis, papilloma.
Mike: The Steve McQueen movie?
Adam: No, that’s Papillon. The virus that causes genital warts.
Eric: Ugh. Why do you think of this stuff?
& Laura: What do you think?
Alison: Insane, idiotic and self-destructive.
& Marcus: What have you done to your vagina?!
Alison: I shaved it.
Marcus: Why?
Alison: I don’t know. Because I thought it would be something different, sexy.
Marcus: Women are supposed to have pubic hair! Why would I find it sexy? You look like a prepubescent girl. I’m not a child molester!
& Eric: She is a tough cookie...
Mike: Her? Please, dude, you’re the king. A little winey-diney, she’ll be your humble wench* servant.
Eric: Keep friends close, but enemies closer.
Mike: Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense. Just go fucking charm her, okay?
& Kelly: Tell me which party we met at.
Eric: Was it one of my parties?
Kelly: Mm-hm.
Eric: Okay. What, um... Oh, was it the Cuba Libre party because I was in mojito haze that whole day and I just...
Kelly: Nope.
Eric: No. Oktoberfest in July?
Kelly: Nope.
Eric: Oh, oh, no, no, I know. I know. Uh, it was the Star Trek versus Star Wars Battle for the Universe Party and you were dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Kelly: How drunk do you get at these parties?
Eric: Uh, pretty drunk. It’s kind of a social obligation.
& Duquez: This is not rock ’n’ roll.
& Glenn: What the fuck, are you stoned?
Mike: No. No, no, no, better. I’m wearing a thing called The Yank. From Adam & Eve. One end straps around your leg, the other end around your wang. The brochure says, “With every stride, it gives your member a gentle tug.” Ahh.
Glenn: What are you doing with a rope on your cock at my wedding?!
& Eric: So, Vic, as someone that’s clearly done this type of thing thousands of times, I’m guessing, we could really use your expertise. How do we make sure that the women are into it?
Vic: The women?.. Don’t worry about the women, worry about you guys.
Eric: Us? What?!
Vic: Women are in touch with their sexuality. Guys are much more likely to freak out at the sight of someone else’s junk.
& Eric: Okay, so how do we make it happen?
Vic: You can’t make an orgy happen. It has to evolve organically. Just because you have a bunch of naked people in the room doesn’t mean you’re all going to get it on. You might just need a really intense conversation. Sometimes a girl just wants to have a heart-to-heart, and she ends up pulling a train.
Eric: Uh, pulling a train?
Vic: Mm. Yeah, you know. A train. Gawk, gawk, gawk. Chicka-chicka-chicka. Whoo-whoo! That’s a choo-choo train.
& Vic: One more thing. Every wolf pack has a leader. I take it you’re the lead wolf?
Mike: Fucking A.
Eric: Uh, yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.
Vic: Well, then it’s all on your shoulders. If you don’t run, nobody behind you can run.
Mike: Oh, that’s good.
Eric: What does that mean? What do I do?
Vic: You have to get naked.
Eric: Okay. Uh... I get that.
Vic: Mm-hm. Not just your body. You’ve gotta get naked in your mind, in your heart, in your soul. You’ve gotta be honest with yourself and everybody about what you want. If you’re a pegger, be honest about that.
Eric: Okay.
Vic: If you’re polyamorous, put it out there. You want to put on a diaper, embrace it. But trust me, if you put up walls, everybody’s gonna put up walls. The whole thing is dead in the water.
Mike: What is a pegger?
Vic: Chick fucks a dude up the ass with a strap-on... Yeah, not really my bag, but like I always say, I’m willing to try anything twice.
& Vic: Oh, one more thing... Buy some scented candles. It helps hide the smell of ass.
& Kate: What’s going on?
Glenn: First of all, they’re dressed like Indians from India.
Kate: That makes much more sense.
& Laura: Just so you know, um, I’ve never been able to orgasm, so no pressure. I’m all about giving pleasure.
Adam: This is so much better than porn.
& Adam: Wow!
Eric: I saw that.
Adam: You see that?
Eric: It looked like a little flash of light. I know. I think I just... God.
Adam: I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I’m gonna take a break from this girl-on-girl-on-girl action and check the score of the Yankee game.
& Laura: We could, uh, take a dip in the pool or something...
Adam: Oh, the... Yeah. I don’t know about the pool after what happened in there last night...
Laura: Ew.
Adam: But you wanna do the crossword with me?
Laura: I’d love that.
& Adam: So this is the beach, huh? Pretty beautiful. Who knew?
Telekinesis — Gotta Get It Right Now
♪ I always do what I am told ♪
♪ Jesus Christ I’m gettin’ old ♪
♪ And I gotta get it right now ♪
♪ I gotta get it right now ♪
♪ All my friends are so locked down ♪
♪ And I’m 23 ♪
♪ I should be screwin’ around ♪
♪ And I gotta get it right now ♪
♪ I gotta get it right now ♪
♪ Gotta get it right now ♪
& Lydia: I’m there thinking I’m gonna have sex with your penis and get another penis instead?!
& Ray: She won’t talk to me. She’s talking about a different penis. Last time I checked, I only got the one.
& Darby: Mom! Your boss is here... again.
& Tanya: I have no idea what to do.
Charlie: I will tell you what not to do: Do not chase after a damn cop who just arrested your ho. Cut him loose, T.
& Ray: He looks like an okay guy.
Lydia: Yeah? He’s not okay. We’re married three years... tomorrow.
Ray: You’re married? You’re married. That’s great.
Lydia: What’s so great about it?! He’s an angry, self-centered prick who likes to fuck 20-year-old prostitutes. You want to meet him?
Ray: You mean, for dinner?
& Jason: Ow! Stop it!
Lenore: Oh, did that hurt? I’m sorry. You know what really hurts? Taking something fragile and breaking it, like someone’s trust or... this beautiful television.
& Ray: Come on, guys. Come on. We’re on the same team here. We can’t turn against each other. We’re family. We’ve got to stick together. We’re Dreckers.
Damon: Not mom. She’s a Haxon.
Ray: Damon, cut it out. You love your mom. We love your mother.
& Damon: Where were his shoes?
Beth Thornley — Wash U Clean
♪ U run it rich ♪
♪ that carburetor ♪
♪ u gotta open ♪
♪ open that choke ♪
♪ ’cause when you’re here ♪
♪ the air, it won’t clear ♪
♪ ’cause you’re just blowin’, just blowin’ smoke... ♪
& Tanya: I think I might know who the other penis is.
Ray: What?
Tanya: The other penis... It was Jason.
& Ray: Lydia, listen, don’t do this! Lydia, I was a husband!! Some secrets aren’t meant to be shared, Lydia!!!
& Tanya: I’m just a woman, Lydia, just a woman. We are all just women... except for men, who aren’t women at all. But we are women, Lydia. We are women.
& Ray: You wanna fuck?.. It’s the least I can do. No cops and robbers. No money. Just you and me.
& Ray: Hey, no one said orgasmic living was easy. People aren’t easy. They fall in love, get married... Drive each other nuts. We’ve all been there... Most of us just don’t have a badge and a gun.
& Stephen Meyers: I’m not a Christian, I’m not an Atheist. I’m not Jewish, I’m not Muslim. My Religion... What I believe in is called The Constitution Of The United States Of America.
& Tom Duffy (by Giamatti): You know, I’m trying to remember if the Democrats have ever nominated an Atheist before.
Paul Zara (by Philip Seymour Hoffman): Well, we know they’ve nominated a jackass before.
& Meyers: The truth is... He’s the only one. That’s gonna actually make a difference in peoples lives. Even the people, that hate him. If Mike Morris is President, this is more about us... then it does about him.
Ida Horowicz (by Marisa Tomei): I don’t give a fuck... if he can’t win.
Meyers: He has to win.
Ida: Or what?.. The world’s gonna fall apart?.. It won’t matter. Not one bit... To the everyday lives of the everyday fuckers, who get up, and work, and eat, and sleep, go back to work again. If your boy wins... you get a job in the White House. He looses, you’re back at a consulting firm on K-street. That’s it!
& Meyers: You think there’s any truth, in this... Pullman having investments in diamond mines in Liberia?
Ben: Still checking on it. But, we got it from a blog, who the fuck knows.
Meyers: I don’t care, if it’s true. I just wanna hear him denying it. If it’s true... Great! Find out. If not... let them spend the day, telling The Post, that he doesn’t own a diamond mine in Liberia. Win-Win.
& Duffy: Put yourself on my shoes, Steve. You’re opponent has the best media mind in the country working for his team. What are you gonna do? You’re either gonna hire him for yourself... Or you’re either gonna work it, so, you can’t have him? The other team can’t either. This is a win-win situation for me. And you come work for me, great! Paul doesn’t have you. But, then again... Paul fires you, don’t want you... fine. Paul still doesn’t have you. Either way, I win. And the moment, I got you sit down on that chair... I know, I’ve won.
Meyers: This is... It’s my life, that you’re talking about.
Duffy: It doesn’t make me happy, doing this kind of thing. Don’t think, it gives me any kind of pleasure. No, I’m sorry for you. I really am.
& Governor Mike Morris (by Clooney): Why would I do that?
Meyers: Because, you wanna win. Because, you broke the only rule in politics. You wanna be President. You can start a war, you can lie, you can cheat, you can bankrupt the country... but you can’t fuck the interns. They’ll get you for that.
& Paul: Look at you. All grown up with tits and all.
Meyers: I learned from the best.
Paul: Well, one day we’ll grab a beer and... you could tell me, what you had on the Governor that put me out.
Meyers: ...How do you know I didn’t have something on you?
& Ida: Any chance of you confirming now?
Meyers: No press behind this point. She’s press.
& Ida: Hey, Steve. I’m still your friend, right?
Meyers: You’re my best friend, Ida.
& Jake: Jenna, I need to speak with you.
Jenna: Jack, I did not hit that Asian page! I was just swinging my arm and she walked into me. Twice.
& Liz: Right now, I should be standing in a toilet stall so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch. God, I miss it...
Emily: I was an investment banker for 15 years. 80-hour workweeks, corner office, secret candy drawer... And a decoy candy drawer to throw others off the trail.
Liz: Smart.
Emily: The point is you get addicted to the stress. Think it gives your life purpose. And then when you stop... You see how stupid you were. It just takes time to realize there are much better ways to be happy.
& Jake: Kenneth, what can I do for you?
Kenneth: Well, sir, I recently learned that company policy requires that employees disclose their relationships with their cowkers to their immediate supervisor.
Jake: I am not your immediate supervisor. There are perhaps 40 people between us. Pete, for instance.
Kenneth: Oh, I just don’t trust Mr. Hornberger, sir. He has a ridge on the section of the skull associated with deviousness.
& Kenneth: I don’t know if this is harassment... But someone at the today show made me eat an unripe banana in front of her.
& Tracy: Let the problem solving begin.
& Jeffrey Weinerslav: Well, I know how eager you are to return to work.
Liz: I guess so.
Jeffrey: But coming back to work isn’t always easy. Work means stress. And stress can make you fall back on old behavior. So tonight, I want you to really think about the returning back. Visualize everything that’s facing you. Think about walking through that door and immediately dealing with 100 different problems and responsibilities. Your coworkers’ demands on you, the long hours, the pointless meetings and endless phone calls. Think of the frustration, the futility, and the time that you will never get back as you creep closer and closer to the grave... Okay. Any questions for me?
Liz: Just one. Why don’t you drop those dockers and gimme a piece of that sweet ass?!
& Liz: What’re we doing today,ladies?
Erin: More of the same.
& Jenna: Oh, Jack, this’s just the greatest night of my... What the hell is that?!!
Jake: Well, it’s you. What’s the problem?
Jenna: It has the year I was born on it. The real year, not the actress year. Now almost a million people are gonna know that I’m f... f...
& Liz: I’m back.
Jake: What did it turn out to be? Lesbians?
Liz: No. Fight club.
& Brody: North. So not Langley. No blindfold or anything?
Galvez: We trust you.
& Brody: What’s he doing?
Carrie: He’s waiting to see if Hamid will say something first.
& Brody: One question.
Carrie: Go ahead.
Brody: Will he be tortured?
Carrie: We don’t do that here.
& Saul: What did you do to Sergeant Brody, Afzal?..
Carrie: If you have a detail we could use.
Brody: He beat me with a stick wrapped in barbed wire, and he pissed on me.
Saul: You beat him with barbed wire and urinated on him... So you’re a religious man and a torturer. What are you, Catholic?
& Carrie: Come on, asshole, pick up the damn crayon!
& — We sent a phantom e-mail to the one Hamid gave you. Whoever it is will never actually receive the e-mail or know that it was sent. So far, it’s bounced off of a server in Rio, where it went through a re-encryption filtering protocol, then to Johannesburg... same drill... then to Thailand, then Finland, and now, nearly an hour later, your guess is as... I’d say you owe me dinner, Carrie. Possibly even sex.
Carrie: Holy fuck!
— I wouldn’t go that far.
& Logan: You’re welcome to join... if you want.
Ray: Well, what do you want?
Logan: I want an apartment in Paris. I want new parents. I wanna go back inside and get another drink. Why, Mr. Drecker? What do you want?
& Tanya: It doesn’t make sense. Why would a cop dress up as a cop?
Charlie: It makes more sense than some of these motherfuckers... wanna wear diapers and get fed baby food.
& Charlie: Man, why do you ask me this shit? I mean, you come to me for advice like I’m some kind of magical Yoda Negro, but you don’t listen.
Tanya: I listen... to the essence of your advice.
& Jessica: I wanna do a good job.
Matt: You are. Look, and you’re running yourself ragged doing it. You’re sick... physically, not mentally. Nothing wrong with you mentally.
& Ray: Where are you going?
Logan: I’m gonna take a shower, maybe go back to bed.
Ray: What are you doing, uh, later today?
Logan: I’m gonna take a shower... and maybe go back to bed.
& Lenore: Jason, your going rate is $200.
Jason: How much did they pay you to fuck me?
Lenore: How much does your boss pay you to bus tables? Hmm?.. Yeah.
& Lenore: Pick a TV, Jason. Thank me later.
& Tanya: Lydia... Lydia, let’s be civil.
Lydia: Fuck civil. You know that thing that I wanted to do? Well, I wanna do it tonight.
& Tanya: She’s a scary woman, Ray. I don’t wanna go to jail. Ray, where are you?
& Ray: Hey.
Jessica: I was in the area...
Ray: Well, yeah, it’s... it’s a good area to be in.
& Ray: What are you doing?!
Lydia: Ray Drecker, you’re under arrest.
Ray: Arrest?! For what?!!
Lydia: Prostitution, motherfucker!
The Vaccines - Wolf Pack
♪ You’ve seen the world, what did it look like? ♪
♪ you took a plane, I’ll take a push bike ♪
♪ run with the wolves, calling all the wolf pack ♪
♪ when did you go and when did you get back? ♪
♪ I don’t even know you ♪
♪ you’re just someone new ♪
♪ I don’t want to talk to ♪
♪ you’re wild ♪
♪ I don’t find you crazy at all ♪
♪ you’re on the rocks ♪
♪ would you like to get some? ♪
& Mathayus: With all due respect, Your Highness, I have a few vessels of wine and a small army of harem girls to conquer tonight. Can we just skip to the part where you tell me who you want killed?
& Horus: We brought him into our ranks because of his unique skill set.
& Olaf: Nobody touches my stuff! Crime doesn’t pay!
& Olaf: I’ve heard tales of such beasts. They look hungry.
Mathayus: Don’t run.
Olaf: I’m running!
& Olaf: We need a plan.
Mathayus: Really? I thought we’d just run down there yelling and thumping our chests, try and scare them to death.
Olaf: That’s not a bad idea.
& Olaf: Let’s get the gold.
& Talus: If you succeed, there will be more gold than your beast can carry. To fail is to die. To refuse my offer is to die. So what say you then?
& Olaf: I’m gonna make some falling water of my own... Adventure of a lifetime my arse.
& Olaf: With friends like you, who needs women?
& Silda: Stop.
Mathayus: Or what? You’ll say “stop” again?
& Silda: Fight with me and we can stop him. And maybe, in some small way, you can forgive yourself for the past.
Mathayus: I will never forgive myself for the past.
Silda: Then you will never have a future.
& Talus: An invitation. To a wedding! Or an execution. Either way, it’s a feast.
& — Вы не катаетесь на лыжах?
— Нет, не катаюсь. Мне достаточно просто читать книги, поглядывая на снег.
& Он совершенно не уступал мне в неумении поддерживать разговор.
& Мы даже не сыграли свадьбу. ...мы просто решили, что поженились. Купили маленький торт и съели его вдвоем — вот и вся свадьба.
& А изводила меня — скука. Особенно тяготила рутина, в которой я ощущала себя тенью своего же повторения. & — Это просто сон, — успокаивает меня он. — Сны — они приходят из прошлого, а не из будущего. Не сны тебя беспокоят, а ты их, понимаешь?
... В ледяном доме на далеком и холодном Южном полюсе.”
Тони Такия
“Настоящее имя Тони Такия... действительно — Тони Такия. ...
& Любой странник в этом мире рано или поздно остается один.
& «С ним я стану счастливой», — думала она. И они поженились.
... Из дома исчезла гора пластинок — Тони Такия теперь точно остался совершенно один.”
& Driver: There’s a hundred-thousand streets in this city. You don’t need to know the route. You give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I’m yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you’re on your own. Do you understand?
& Shannon: You look like a zombie kid. You get any sleep? Can I offer you some Benzadrine, Dextradine, Caffeine... Nicotine?
& Irene: What do you do?
Driver: I drive.
Irene: Like a limo driver?
Driver: No, like for movies.
& Shannon: Mr. Rose, I wouldn’t come to you with this. Unless, I’m absolutely sure about it!
Bernie Rose: How can you be sure, Shannon? What do you got that the professional race team don’t?
Shannon: I got a driver.
& Driver: You see the bad guy?
Benicio: Yeah.
Driver: How can you tell?
Benicio: Because he’s a shark.
Driver: There’s no good shark?
Benicio: No...
& — I’ve got a sweet job coming up.
Driver: ... How about this? You shut you mouth. Or I’ll kick your teeth down your throat and I’ll shut it for you.
& Shannon: You know, a lot of guys messing around with married women... but you’re the only one I know who robs a joint, to pay back the hausband.
& Bernie: So, this is what I would suggest. We conclude our deals... we shake hands. You’ll start the rest of you life. Any dreams you have, plans or hopes for the future; I think you got to put that on holds. For the rest of your life, you’re gonna be looking over your shoulder.
& Colleen: I think I love you, Charlie Harper.
Charlie: Thank you. I’ll see you later.
Colleen: ... Wait a minute. Did you just say “thank you”?
Charlie: Did I?
& Jake: Hey, guess what happened at school today.
Charlie: You made the honor roll.
Jake: What’s that?
Charlie: Forget it. What happened at school?
Jake: Well, there’s this girl...
Charlie: Okay, now I’m listening.
& Charlie: Let’s focus on today’s lesson. Never ever confuse cupcakes with love.
Jake: But I love cupcakes!
Charlie: We all love cupcakes. That doesn’t mean you have to love the baker.
Jake: Her mom baked it.
Charlie: You’re missing the point.
Jake: Robin just helped with the icing.
Charlie: Okay, okay.
Jake: She made a smiley face with Red Hots.
Charlie: I get it. I’m just saying that when someone freely gives you her cupcake, your only obligation is to enjoy it. There’s no reason to get emotionally involved.
Jake: Why not?
Charlie: Because, if you do, the next thing you know, you’ll be stuck eating the same damn cupcake for the rest of your life.
Jake: But it was a really good cupcake... I can’t stop thinking about it.
Charlie: Yeah. I’ve had cupcakes like that. But the thing you’ve got to remember is, there’ll always be other cupcakes.
& Charlie: We need to talk.
Evelyn: About what?
Charlie: About how I’ll never be able to have a meaningful relationship with a woman because of the way you screwed me up!
Evelyn: Oh. Well... sorry about that.
Charlie: Let me in!
Evelyn: There’s more?
Charlie: Yes!
Evelyn: Will this having children thing never end?
& Evelyn: Look, I’m sorry this is such a major inconvenience for you but...
Charlie: Oh, God! What are you doing?!
Evelyn: Downward Facing Dog.
Charlie: What?
Evelyn: It’s yoga, Charlie.
Charlie: Oh. Well, could your dog possibly face upward while we talk?
Evelyn: Fine.
Charlie: Aw, geez! What the hell is the mutt doing now?
& Evelyn: What did we call your penis?..
Charlie: It doesn’t matter! The point is, it isn’t working anymore. And somehow it’s all tied up in some sick twisted knot with you.
Evelyn: Mr. Peepee! That’s it. Well, you can see why I confused that with Mr. Pinky.
& Alan: His, uh, his little girlfriend dumped him.
Charlie: Really?
Jake: She said she needed her space.
Charlie: I’m sorry, buddy.
Alan: Want some advice?
Jake: Yeah. What do I do, Uncle Charlie?
Alan: I meant from me.
Jake: Oh. No, thank you. Well?
Charlie: ... Might as well listen to your dad, ’cause... I got nothing.
Jake: Less than him?
& Rose: Well, traditional therapy can help, but you’ll have to commit to a long, arduous* process of self-exploration over a period of years.
Charlie: Years?! I can’t go years without... Mr. Peepee.
Rose: Charlie, isn’t your long-term mental and emotional health more important than a few fleeting* orgasms?
Charlie: It’s not even more important than one!
& Rose: I suppose we could try a shortcut like hypnotherapy.
Charlie: You know how to do that?
Rose: I studied it. But for it to work, you’d have to trust me completely.
Charlie: You know, Rose, as strange as it may seem, of all the women I know, you’re the only one I trust at all.
Rose: Wow. Personally I find that very flattering, while professionally, it’s deeply disturbing.
& Jake: Hey, dad, want a cupcake?
Alan: Um, sure.
Uncle Charlie?
Charlie: Thank you.
Jake: Have as many as you want. I got another batch in the oven.
Alan: It’s, uh, it’s very tasty. What, uh, what prompted this?
Jake: I figured out I don’t need a girlfriend. If I want a cupcake, I just make it myself.
Charlie: Taking matters into his own hands. The metaphore is now complete.
Jake: Anybody want to lick the beater?
& Carrie: Service A’s today, Marine. Shirt first... Green pants... Khaki tie... You left it on the back of the bathroom door.
Brody: Hey, Jess, have you seen my tie?
Jessica: In the bathroom, behind the door.
Carrie: ... And smile for the cameras.
& Brody: What can I tell you that you don’t already know? Not much. But here goes. This is what I learned over there. Friendly fire isn’t. In an ambush, shoot for the knees. Never lie. Never leave a man behind. And if you pick it, it will not heal.
& Gaines, Vice-President advisor: So, if we looked under the hood, what would we find?
David: Well, we weren’t exactly vetting him for national office. That is why you’re here, isn’t it?
Gaines: In the most preliminary sense. Then again, if his psychological profile checks out, and his politics are correct... why not? I sure know a lot of folks who would open their checkbooks to him right now.
& David: So, tell me what’s so important that it couldn’t wait.
Saul: Abu Nazir, David, remember him? Two horns, long tail, a strong scent of sulfur?
& Saul: First chance you get, you will remove the cameras and microphones from Sergeant Brody’s house, and cover your tracks. Are we clear?
& Brody: I appreciate that, Mike. You looking out for the family... And for Jessica... Like you did while I was gone.
Mike: You’d have done the same for me.
Brody: You know what?.. I’m not sure I would have.
& David: You know, you don’t look like a Galvez.
Galvez: I take after my mother, sir. She’s Lebanese.
David: And your father?
Galvez: Guatemalan. They met at the DMV. My mom refused to take off her headscarf for the photo, my dad was the guy taking the pictures.
David: America.
& David: I didn’t put you with her by accident.
Galvez: I don’t understand.
David: {...} You want a taste of Operations? Find out if Carrie’s running something on the side.
Galvez: Sir... I’m not sure I-I’m comfortable with...
David: Spying?
& Dana: You know, it’s customary to wait for someone to say, “Come in” before you actually come in.
& Carrie: Guy hasn’t broken the speed limit once.
Galvez: Does that make him more or less suspicious?
Carrie: Makes him boring as shit.
& Carrie: Why are you being nice to me?
David: Do I need a reason?
Carrie: Not unless you want me to believe a word you’re saying.
& Raqim: I still think we should leave.
Aileen: Our instructions were to sit tight. In the meantime, we owe it to ourselves not to panic.
& Marty: Four shots of Patron, please. No, leave me out of that.
Jeannie: Just a diet Coke, please.
Marty: Jeannie, you’re really gonna need something a little stiffer* than that, okay? Because for the next three days we are knee-deep in Mormons.
& Marty: Optics: how things look to the client. We are basically telling companies to change the way they’ve been doing business forever. And who the fuck are we? Just some people they met a few days ago. All they have to go on is what they can see. And what they need to see is people who have their best interests at heart. People who are just like them. Especially when we’re selling them a mountain of bullshit.
& Clyde: Guys, we all saw it, so we can talk about it. She was smiling at me.
Jeannie: She was smiling at all of us.
Clyde: At your faces, yes... but she was smiling at my cock.
Marty: You really are a dickhead.
Clyde: I sure am.
& Brant Butterfield: You must be Marty.
Doug: Oh, God, no. I wish.
Clyde: Oh... Guys, I’m straight on fire today.
Butterfield: Oh, Marty!
Clyde: Clyde... actually.
Marty: Marty Kaan.
Butterfield: ... Nice to meet you. Of course.
& Marty: Listen, um, if you shit the bed on this one, you are gonna get a one-way ticket right back to whatever bumfuck whistle-stop you came from and are working so hard to scrub from your existence. We straight?
Jeannie: Mm-hmm. Okay. Thanks for the support.
& Clyde: She’s a devout Mormon, which means she doesn’t do this. She’s a virgin.
Doug: Wait a minute. Actual virgin or technical virgin?
Clyde: What does that even mean?
Doug: Uh... rear entry is a very common practice for women who want to keep their, uh, temple pristine*.
& Jeannie: Do you know what would work for me?
Clyde: What?
Jeannie: If we shared a really good bottle of wine, and then, um, he kissed me gently but soulfully...
Clyde: Of course.
Jeannie: And... kind of caressed my hair, and then whispered sweetly, “I would really love your feces on my dick.”
& Jeannie: There’s a crack somewhere. There’s always a crack, and I’ll find it.
Doug: I’ve looked. Jeannie, I’ve looked. There’s no crack. What if there’s not a crack?
Jeannie: Then we’ll get a fucking sledgehammer, Doug, and make one.
& Roscoe: So how come you didn’t go to Fiji?
Monica: Because the dickhead that I’m dating decided to take his ugly wife instead.
Roscoe: You shouldn’t say “dickhead.”
Monica: Yeah, well, he shouldn’t be one.
& Monica: I arrange an internship for his fat as fuck daughter. I even let him f... Do you know what a “golden shower” is?
Roscoe: When it’s sunny and it rains?
Monica: Oh, that’s magical.
& Roscoe: Breaking into his house and stealing?
Monica: Uh-uh. Appropriating replacement value, sweetie. And it is not breaking in when you have the pass code.
& Rebecca: When I was a kid, we went to Spain. It was incredible.
Clyde: I love Spain.
Rebecca: Really?
Clyde: The beaches, the museums, the people... they’re called Spaniels, right?
& Doug: Oh, my God... and corn? You know what they say about corn.
Clyde: No.
Doug: You never really own it, you just borrow it. ... That’s it, good girl, get every last kernel.
& Jeannie: Did you seriously not fuck her in the ass? You are such a pussy.
& Paul: Uh, actually, hang on a second... That number seems off to me.
Marty: Uh-oh. The most dreaded words a consultant can hear. One bad number throws all your numbers into question. Everything up to that point doesn’t matter. All the client can see is an incompetent boob* with 40 PowerPoint pages full of garbage.
& Paul: That spending figure strikes me as high. Where... where did you get that?
Jeannie: I...
Marty: That’s FCA. From Calvin’s ass. Calvin Sobel is something of a consulting legend. The term’s an homage, and when uttered with absolute certainty, it is a surprisingly effective answer to, “Where’d you get that number?” It’s also FMA. From my ass.
“I Go Away” by MNDR
How did I get here
Without feeling anything?
Stay true, see it through, they say
Ticktock, time just slips away
I’ll go away, I’ll go away
I’ll go my own way
