Two and a Half Men 3x5

We Called It Mr. Pinky

& Colleen: I think I love you, Charlie Harper.
    Charlie: Thank you. I’ll see you later.
    Colleen: ... Wait a minute. Did you just say “thank you”?
    Charlie: Did I?

& Jake: Hey, guess what happened at school today.
    Charlie: You made the honor roll.
    Jake: What’s that?
    Charlie: Forget it. What happened at school?
    Jake: Well, there’s this girl...
    Charlie: Okay, now I’m listening.

& Charlie: Let’s focus on today’s lesson. Never ever confuse cupcakes with love.
    Jake: But I love cupcakes!
    Charlie: We all love cupcakes. That doesn’t mean you have to love the baker.
    Jake: Her mom baked it.
    Charlie: You’re missing the point.
    Jake: Robin just helped with the icing.
    Charlie: Okay, okay.
    Jake: She made a smiley face with Red Hots.
    Charlie: I get it. I’m just saying that when someone freely gives you her cupcake, your only obligation is to enjoy it. There’s no reason to get emotionally involved.
    Jake: Why not?
    Charlie: Because, if you do, the next thing you know, you’ll be stuck eating the same damn cupcake for the rest of your life.
    Jake: But it was a really good cupcake... I can’t stop thinking about it.
    Charlie: Yeah. I’ve had cupcakes like that. But the thing you’ve got to remember is, there’ll always be other cupcakes.

---

& Charlie: We need to talk.
    Evelyn: About what?
    Charlie: About how I’ll never be able to have a meaningful relationship with a woman because of the way you screwed me up!
    Evelyn: Oh. Well... sorry about that.
    Charlie: Let me in!
    Evelyn: There’s more?
    Charlie: Yes!
    Evelyn: Will this having children thing never end?

& Evelyn: Look, I’m sorry this is such a major inconvenience for you but...
    Charlie: Oh, God! What are you doing?!
    Evelyn: Downward Facing Dog.
    Charlie: What?
    Evelyn: It’s yoga, Charlie.
    Charlie: Oh. Well, could your dog possibly face upward while we talk?
    Evelyn: Fine.
    Charlie: Aw, geez! What the hell is the mutt doing now?

& Evelyn: What did we call your penis?..
    Charlie: It doesn’t matter! The point is, it isn’t working anymore. And somehow it’s all tied up in some sick twisted knot with you.
    Evelyn: Mr. Peepee! That’s it. Well, you can see why I confused that with Mr. Pinky.

& Alan: His, uh, his little girlfriend dumped him.
    Charlie: Really?
    Jake: She said she needed her space.
    Charlie: I’m sorry, buddy.
    Alan: Want some advice?
    Jake: Yeah. What do I do, Uncle Charlie?
    Alan: I meant from me.
    Jake: Oh. No, thank you. Well?
    Charlie: ... Might as well listen to your dad, ’cause... I got nothing.
    Jake: Less than him?

& Rose: Well, traditional therapy can help, but you’ll have to commit to a long, arduous* process of self-exploration over a period of years.
    Charlie: Years?! I can’t go years without... Mr. Peepee.
    Rose: Charlie, isn’t your long-term mental and emotional health more important than a few fleeting* orgasms?
    Charlie: It’s not even more important than one!

& Rose: I suppose we could try a shortcut like hypnotherapy.
    Charlie: You know how to do that?
    Rose: I studied it. But for it to work, you’d have to trust me completely.
    Charlie: You know, Rose, as strange as it may seem, of all the women I know, you’re the only one I trust at all.
    Rose: Wow. Personally I find that very flattering, while professionally, it’s deeply disturbing.

& Jake: Hey, dad, want a cupcake?
    Alan: Um, sure.
    Uncle Charlie?
    Charlie: Thank you.
    Jake: Have as many as you want. I got another batch in the oven.
    Alan: It’s, uh, it’s very tasty. What, uh, what prompted this?
    Jake: I figured out I don’t need a girlfriend. If I want a cupcake, I just make it myself.
    Charlie: Taking matters into his own hands. The metaphore is now complete.
    Jake: Anybody want to lick the beater?

--
arduous — трудный
fleeting — мимолетный; скоротечный

+ quotes on the Imdb.

Homeland 1x4

Semper I

& Carrie: Service A’s today, Marine. Shirt first... Green pants... Khaki tie... You left it on the back of the bathroom door.
    Brody: Hey, Jess, have you seen my tie?
    Jessica: In the bathroom, behind the door.
    Carrie: ... And smile for the cameras.

& Brody: What can I tell you that you don’t already know? Not much. But here goes. This is what I learned over there. Friendly fire isn’t. In an ambush, shoot for the knees. Never lie. Never leave a man behind. And if you pick it, it will not heal.

& Gaines, Vice-President advisor: So, if we looked under the hood, what would we find?
    David: Well, we weren’t exactly vetting him for national office. That is why you’re here, isn’t it?
    Gaines: In the most preliminary sense. Then again, if his psychological profile checks out, and his politics are correct... why not? I sure know a lot of folks who would open their checkbooks to him right now.

& David: So, tell me what’s so important that it couldn’t wait.
    Saul: Abu Nazir, David, remember him? Two horns, long tail, a strong scent of sulfur?

& Saul: First chance you get, you will remove the cameras and microphones from Sergeant Brody’s house, and cover your tracks. Are we clear?

---

& Brody: I appreciate that, Mike. You looking out for the family... And for Jessica... Like you did while I was gone.
    Mike: You’d have done the same for me.
    Brody: You know what?.. I’m not sure I would have.

& David: You know, you don’t look like a Galvez.
    Galvez: I take after my mother, sir. She’s Lebanese.
    David: And your father?
    Galvez: Guatemalan. They met at the DMV. My mom refused to take off her headscarf for the photo, my dad was the guy taking the pictures.
    David: America.

& David: I didn’t put you with her by accident.
    Galvez: I don’t understand.
    David: {...} You want a taste of Operations? Find out if Carrie’s running something on the side.
    Galvez: Sir... I’m not sure I-I’m comfortable with...
    David: Spying?

& Dana: You know, it’s customary to wait for someone to say, “Come in” before you actually come in.

& Carrie: Guy hasn’t broken the speed limit once.
    Galvez: Does that make him more or less suspicious?
    Carrie: Makes him boring as shit.

& Carrie: Why are you being nice to me?
    David: Do I need a reason?
    Carrie: Not unless you want me to believe a word you’re saying.

& Raqim: I still think we should leave.
    Aileen: Our instructions were to sit tight. In the meantime, we owe it to ourselves not to panic.

--
On the Imdb.

House of Lies 1x5

Utah

& Marty: Fucking Utah.

& Marty: You’re not as blonde as you look.

& Marty: Four shots of Patron, please. No, leave me out of that.
    Jeannie: Just a diet Coke, please.
    Marty: Jeannie, you’re really gonna need something a little stiffer* than that, okay? Because for the next three days we are knee-deep in Mormons.

& Marty: Optics: how things look to the client. We are basically telling companies to change the way they’ve been doing business forever. And who the fuck are we? Just some people they met a few days ago. All they have to go on is what they can see. And what they need to see is people who have their best interests at heart. People who are just like them. Especially when we’re selling them a mountain of bullshit.

& Clyde: Guys, we all saw it, so we can talk about it. She was smiling at me.
    Jeannie: She was smiling at all of us.
    Clyde: At your faces, yes... but she was smiling at my cock.
    Marty: You really are a dickhead.
    Clyde: I sure am.

& Brant Butterfield: You must be Marty.
    Doug: Oh, God, no. I wish.
    Clyde: Oh... Guys, I’m straight on fire today.
    Butterfield: Oh, Marty!
    Clyde: Clyde... actually.
    Marty: Marty Kaan.
    Butterfield: ... Nice to meet you. Of course.

& Marty: Listen, um, if you shit the bed on this one, you are gonna get a one-way ticket right back to whatever bumfuck whistle-stop you came from and are working so hard to scrub from your existence. We straight?
    Jeannie: Mm-hmm. Okay. Thanks for the support.

---

& Clyde: She’s a devout Mormon, which means she doesn’t do this. She’s a virgin.
    Doug: Wait a minute. Actual virgin or technical virgin?
    Clyde: What does that even mean?
    Doug: Uh... rear entry is a very common practice for women who want to keep their, uh, temple pristine*.

& Jeannie: Do you know what would work for me?
    Clyde: What?
    Jeannie: If we shared a really good bottle of wine, and then, um, he kissed me gently but soulfully...
    Clyde: Of course.
    Jeannie: And... kind of caressed my hair, and then whispered sweetly, “I would really love your feces on my dick.”

& Jeannie: There’s a crack somewhere. There’s always a crack, and I’ll find it.
    Doug: I’ve looked. Jeannie, I’ve looked. There’s no crack. What if there’s not a crack?
    Jeannie: Then we’ll get a fucking sledgehammer, Doug, and make one.

& Roscoe: So how come you didn’t go to Fiji?
    Monica: Because the dickhead that I’m dating decided to take his ugly wife instead.
    Roscoe: You shouldn’t say “dickhead.”
    Monica: Yeah, well, he shouldn’t be one.

& Monica: I arrange an internship for his fat as fuck daughter. I even let him f... Do you know what a “golden shower” is?
    Roscoe: When it’s sunny and it rains?
    Monica: Oh, that’s magical.

& Roscoe: Breaking into his house and stealing?
    Monica: Uh-uh. Appropriating replacement value, sweetie. And it is not breaking in when you have the pass code.

& Rebecca: When I was a kid, we went to Spain. It was incredible.
    Clyde: I love Spain.
    Rebecca: Really?
    Clyde: The beaches, the museums, the people... they’re called Spaniels, right?

& Doug: Oh, my God... and corn? You know what they say about corn.
    Clyde: No.
    Doug: You never really own it, you just borrow it. ... That’s it, good girl, get every last kernel.

& Jeannie: Did you seriously not fuck her in the ass? You are such a pussy.

& Paul: Uh, actually, hang on a second... That number seems off to me.
    Marty: Uh-oh. The most dreaded words a consultant can hear. One bad number throws all your numbers into question. Everything up to that point doesn’t matter. All the client can see is an incompetent boob* with 40 PowerPoint pages full of garbage.

& Paul: That spending figure strikes me as high. Where... where did you get that?
    Jeannie: I...
    Marty: That’s FCA. From Calvin’s ass. Calvin Sobel is something of a consulting legend. The term’s an homage, and when uttered with absolute certainty, it is a surprisingly effective answer to, “Where’d you get that number?” It’s also FMA. From my ass.

“I Go Away” by MNDR

How did I get here
Without feeling anything?
Stay true, see it through, they say
Ticktock, time just slips away
I’ll go away, I’ll go away
I’ll go my own way

--
stiffer — жесткая
pristine — нетронутый; чистый; неиспорченный
boob — досадная ошибка; болван

On the Imdb.

__ Jeannie's call.

Михаил Иосифович Веллер — Мишахерезада

ОХОТА ПУЩЕ НЕВОЛИ

Неосторожное обращение

Охотники работали от госхоза «Таймырский». ...

&  В коридоре барака на Талнахе висела выколотка по латуни: олененок сосет олениху. Московский художник изобразил ей ветвистые рога, и таким образом теленок сосал у быка.
    — Вот так и мы! — хмыкали охотники. — Художник-то дурачок, а картина-то со смыслом...

  ... Мы готовились принять баржу с сезонным припасом: соль, консервы, мука, водка и патроны.”

Разделка

На берегу стоят вешалá — навес с поперечными балками на высоте поднятых рук. ...

&  В первый день от этой работы мутит и тошнит.
    Через месяц я вдруг поймал себя на равнодушной мысли, что точно так, теми же действиями, могу разделать и человека. Отделить голову, выпотрошить, печень налево, сердце направо, кишки в яму. Ничего особенного в работе палача нет. Ополоснуть руки, вытереть о штаны, закурить, уже позвали:

  ... — Миша, иди чайку хватанем! — Револь заварил и сел на ящик.”

---

Паучок

Вот после этого я с охотой завязал. Как отрезало. Не то желание исчезло, не то воздух вышел. ...

&  Я презираю охоту. Когда много убивал, и знаешь, что можешь, знаешь как, и как это просто, то хочется по возможности этого не делать, и жизнь каждой твари ты любишь как свой ей подарок. Больше отрады дарить жизнь, чем отнимать. Если сознаешь свою власть убить — то не убить это дважды поступок, дважды действие. Хотя я допускаю, что сначала надо насытить в себе жажду убийства...
&  Инстинкт охотиться и убивать заложен в любом плотоядном животном. Цивилизация лишает его выхода. Охота — это сублимация, эрзац, экстрим, искусственные проблемы, игра с убийством. Игры взрослых мальчиков. Суррогат настоящей жизни.
&  Если ты знаешь, что можешь убить — зачем ты убиваешь?
&  Я думаю, это потому что жизнь такая. Агрессивная.

  ... А паучок был хороший.”

The Big Bang Theory 5x16

The Vacation Solution

& Sheldon: Gentlemen, I think I’ve come up with a fun way to get young people interested in science. Physics Mad-Libs.

& Sheldon: Now, give me ... a funny Greek letter.
    Raj: Gamma.
    Sheldon: I said funny!
    Raj: Upsilon?
    Sheldon: Good one.

& Howard: I haven’t seen him laugh that hard since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.
    Sheldon: Oh, Oh, Lord, that multiplication error! He thought he carried the one. But he didn’t.

& Leonard: Hey, guys, guys, President Siebert is headed this way. I wonder what he wants. Doesn’t look happy, so I’m guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.
    President Siebert: Dr. Cooper?
    Leonard: Told ya.

& Sheldon: I don’t need a vacation.
    President Siebert: You’re obligated to take one.

& Sheldon: But if I don’t come into work, what am I supposed to do with myself?
    President Siebert: Read, rest, travel... I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year.
    Sheldon: Sarcasm?
    Howard: No. You should go.

& Penny: I’m so glad you talked Howard out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon.
    Bernadette: Turn it over. I’m hoping my relatives think it’s Hebrew.

& Amy: This is really happening... I’m gonna be a maid of honor. I’m gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle and, finally, I will have my special day.

& Bernadette: I just don’t know how I’m gonna break it to him.
    Penny: You know, I’m a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you’re in bed with him. That’s how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother... That’s how I told his brother the same thing.
    Bernadette: I don’t know, I don’t want to manipulate him with sex.
    Penny: Oh, sweetie, that’s what sex is for.

& Amy: You know, the connection between marriage and money is nothing new. In fact, the term “wed” referred to the money and livestock that the groom paid the bride’s father. For example, you’re adorable, intelligent and a good earner. I could conservatively see you going for at least two oxen and a goose... You would fetch a unicorn.

& Leonard: Sheldon, there are a million great vacations you could take. What about Hawaii?
    Sheldon: Hawaii is a former leper colony on top of an active volcano where the disappointing ending to Lost was filmed. Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.

---

& Sheldon: It’s like I’m living in a dictatorship. “You must take a vacation, you must have fun, you must enjoy life!”
    Howard: I don’t think you have a good handle on dictatorships.

& Penny: Hey, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anybody?
    Leonard: It doesn’t matter what I say, you’re gonna tell me anyway.

& Leonard: So, you think about us getting married?
    Penny: I think about a lot of things. I think about us getting married, I think about us breaking up. Once in a while, I think about how I didn’t leave a note on that Mercedes I dinged in the parking lot last month... but then I have a glass of wine and it passes.

& Penny: Well, tell you one thing, if I ever do get married, no Klingon invitations.
    Leonard: Good luck catching a man with that attitude.

& Sheldon: Boy, oh, boy! This vacation is off to a wonderful start. The smell of formaldehyde... the whir of the centrifuge... the distant chatter of lab animals being dispatched for dissection... Mm, I can already feel my cares just melting away.
    Amy: I’m excited to work with my boyfriend! It’s gonna be romantic...
    Sheldon: Way to kill the mood.

& Sheldon: Excuse me, you have Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab! You’re gonna make him do the dishes? That’s like asking the Incredible Hulk to open a pickle jar.
    Amy: Sheldon, you’ve never worked in a lab like this before. You have no experience in the field of biology.
    Sheldon: I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998. And... it’s still alive.

& Leonard: Where’s Howard?
    Raj: No “Hi, Raj”? No “How are you, Raj?” Just straight to “Where’s the other white guy?”

& Sheldon: Here you go. This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
    Amy: Soap spots. Wash ’em again.
    Sheldon: Y... You’re being ridiculous! Those are perfectly clean.
    Amy: Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis. If it’s, in fact, perfectly clean, drink from it.
    Sheldon: Biologists are mean.

& Sheldon: This is preposterous! I think you’re giving me these tasks because you’re afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do, I’ll show you up.
    Amy: Really? Is that what you think?
    Sheldon: Yes, that’s what I think. And I’m super smart, so it’s probably true.

& Amy: Oh... are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
    Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.

& Howard: What are you doing here?
    Sheldon: I’m on vacation. Social convention dictates that I let my hair down at a local watering hole. Social convention is stupid.

& Howard: What happened to your thumb?
    Sheldon: You know, I have ten fingers and ten toes. If I tell you a story about each one of them, we’ll be here all day... let’s just move on.

& Howard: I’m not signing a prenup.
    Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else... speaking on behalf of all women, it is not gonna happen; we had a meeting.

& Amy: Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here after the way you behaved yesterday?
    Sheldon: I was not myself. I had lost a lot of thumb blood.
    Amy: That’s not an apology.
    Sheldon: That is your opinion.
    Amy: I want a real apology.
    Sheldon: I’m sorry that you weren’t able to...
    Amy: No.
    Sheldon: ...that my genius...
    Amy: No.
    Sheldon: ...that the soap was...
    Amy: Sheldon.
    Sheldon: Fine. Sorry.

--
On the Imdb.

House M.D. 8x12

Chase

& House: If she likes crippled guys, I’m free for the next six minutes.

& House: I’d apologize again, but I’m still waiting for you to accept the first one.

& Chase: I don’t know when I’m coming back. I don’t know if I’m coming back. Got a problem with that, fire me.

& Chase: I was a seminarian.
    Moira: Who obviously didn’t take his vows.
    Chase: Cassock* made my ass look fat.

& Wilson: I didn’t tell him!
    House: You were cagey about where you were going. And Chase being cagey in general. Good chance I’d find the two of you in the same cage. So I had Park follow you.

& Chase: I don’t want your help.
    House: You got stabbed. You blame me. But what did you learn about me that you hadn’t known for years?
    Chase: Maybe I was an idiot before and I’m not one now.
House: Or maybe the reverse is true.

& Park: I’m... I’m sorry I led House to you.
    Chase: It’s part of the job.

& Chase: Can we get to my patient sometime soon?
    House: As soon as you admit that you’re a confused mess, sure.
    Chase: You’ll help me. ’Cause even though you don’t find my case interesting, you find my interest in it interesting.
    House: Well, when you put it that way...

---

& House: He tried to tongue-kiss Park when you were closer. You think his sexuality is normal?

& House: Your overreaction to your stabbing is to blame me even as you are drawn to me. Taub’s is to take moronic self-defense classes that won’t defend him against anything!
    Taub: Krav maga. Which helped me block your shot and will continue to help me defend myself in a building full of drugged-up strangers.

& House: Taub has to accept that by instinct and genetics he is a coward, who’s better off running and hiding at the first sign of danger.
    Taub: I’ve already fended off six of your blitzkriegs in a row.
    House: And the seventh? And the eighth? And the nth?..
    Chase: If you get him, what’s that gonna prove?
    House: That unexpected things happen. By definition, no class can teach you to expect them. Which is why Taub is idiotic to study them, and you’re idiotic to attach any significance to them.

& Chase: Is that why you wanna be a nun? Someone broke your heart.
    Moira: No. I’m just looking for something more.
    Chase: ... So am I.

& Chase: Really? George Washingbaum?
    Taub: He was a character in the Flintsteins.

& Taub: He’s annoying, he’s maddening. But he makes us all better.
    Chase: Note to self.

& Chase: So are we gonna spend the rest of eternity in a lake of fire while pointy-tailed demons poke at us with sticks?

& Taub: You slept with a nun?!
    Adams: Forget nun, you slept with a patient?
    Chase: Former, to both.
    House: Internal neck trauma... that’s impressive. It’s happened to me a few times. Up high.

& House: Great thing about assigning Taub fraudulent lab work is you know exactly where he’s gonna end up. Great thing about assigning Taub obviously fraudulent lab work is you get to watch his inner paranoiac at work. And then... Two to the head.

& House: Oh, my God. Taub is interrogating the janitor. He must think that I hired him to attack... actually, why didn’t I do that?

& House: Lock and load. Boo-yah! Pfft!
    Taub: Boo-yah to you too.

& Adams: You’re gonna get away from him by turning into him?

& Chase: I always wanted to believe. Would have made my life a lot easier. It never took.

& House: “Noradrenaline and near-death experiences...” Oh, dear. You saw God?
    Chase: She did. She wants to go back to the monastery.
    House: So now you’re preparing a Powerpoint presentation to keep her in your garden of earthly delights. You’re an idiot.
    Chase: Because I found someone I love?
    House: Because you’re an idiot.

& Chase: Her feelings are based on a chemical process. They’re gonna wear off.
    House: You just slept with her. Your brain is exploding with oxytocin. You think that’s gonna last through the ages?

& Chase: You’re incapable of human connection, so you want everyone to be like you!
    House: If I wanted you to be like me... I would be urging you to make a stupid, stubborn decision that blows up your life and leaves you lonely and miserable. You reassess your life when you’ve made mistakes. You didn’t. You just got stabbed.

--
Cassock — Ряса

On the Imdb.

The Walking Dead 2x8

@ last!

Nebraska

& Lori: His family’s dead, Rick.
    Rick: Well, he doesn’t believe that. He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood.

& Andrea: We bury the ones we love and burn the rest.

& Carol: Why?
    Daryl: ’Cause that’s your little girl.
    Carol: That’s not my little girl... That’s some other thing.

& Dale: I’m telling you... I knew guys like him, and sooner or later... He’s gonna kill somebody else.

& Hershel: Who’s with you?
    Rick: Glenn.
    Hershel: Maggie sent him?
    Rick: He volunteered. He’s good like that.

& Hershel: And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face... I knew you knew it too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don’t you? There is no hope for any of us.

---

& Rick: You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It’s always been there, whether it’s from a heart attack, cancer, or a Walker. What’s the difference? You didn’t think it was hopeless before, did you?

& Dave: To better days and new friends. And to our dead... may they be in a better place.

& Glenn: Nebraska?.. Low population, lots of guns. Kinda makes sense.
    Dave: Ever been to Nebraska, kid? A reason they call ’em Flyover States.

& Dave: Walkers? That what you call them?
    Glenn: Yeah.
    Dave: That’s good. I like that. I like that better than lamebrains.
    Tony: More succinct*.

& Rick: The farm is too crowded as is. I’m sorry. You’ll have to keep looking.
    Dave: Keep looking... Where do you suggest we do that?
    Rick: I don’t know. I hear Nebraska’s nice.
    Dave: Nebraska... This guy.

Clutch - The Regulator

♪ Oh, I see that lantern ♪
♪ trimmed low ♪
♪ burning in our home ♪
♪ and though I feel like crying ♪
♪ I swear tonight ♪

--
succinct — краткий; сжатый

On the Imdb.

The Devil's Double

& Uday Hussein: I want you, Latif. I want you to be my fidai. I want you to be my brother... Don’t say anything. Take 10 minutes. Think it over.
    Latif Yahia: What happens if I say no?
    Uday: ... Ten minutes.

& Munem: His grandfather was a Kurd. It’s a pity.

& — These pretty girls will get you anything you feel like. Strawberries in winter, figs in July. Just ask. But lay a finger on one of them without prior permission... and you’ll never walk upright again. And these are Uday’s rooms... He wants you to use them, now that you are to be his brother. Leather sofas, Italian marble, all designed by Gianfranco Giannelli... Handmade shoes, suits, Brioni, Versace, Armani, of course. Silk ties, watches. Breitling, Cartier, Rolex... Silk pajamas. These are very nice. Poor child never knows what to wear. He changes his mind every five minutes. Depends on what car he’s driving. Honestly, habibi, that boy, he wears me out.

& Munem: When you say your prayers tonight, when you turn out the light and close your eyes, this is what you should be saying to yourself, “Latif Yahia is dead. He died in Iran. May God have mercy on him. Now I am Uday Saddam Hussein.”

---

& Latif: He is insane. You know it, Munem. He’s insane. You turn a blind eye. You have no choice. I understand that. You are a good man in a bad job.

& Uday: Who wants to sleep with me tonight? You?

& Latif: Kuwait has stolen our Iraqi oil! Millions of dollars a year from the oilfields at Rumaila! Our country is losing more than a billion dollars a year! What is Kuwait? Who made up this country? The thieving British! In 1935 they picked up a pen and drew a line in the sand. Kuwait is a fantasy!
    Uday: Look, Mother. It’s me.
    Latif: Kuwait is a lie! Kuwait is the province of Iraq! The age of the sheikhs is over!

& Uday: Qusay?
    Qusay: Uday.
    Uday: Are you watching?
    Qusay: He didn’t fool me, my brother.
    Uday: You can tell? How?!
    Qusay: For one thing he’s sober, and second he’s not foaming at the mouth.

& Uday: Allahu akbar? Allah gives me nothing. Everything I want I just take for myself. Look at me. I’m a fucking war hero.

& Uday: I will never let you go. I love you too much.

& Latif’s Father: I’m going to say this once, and it’s my final word. You will do as I tell you or you are no longer my son. Tell this evil son of a bitch to go to hell.
    Uday: Speak up, Latif. What is it to be?
    Latif: ... Go to hell.

--
On the Imdb.

! Dominic Cooper.

Дмитрий Липскеров — Сорок лет Чанчжоэ (2/2)

Начало

&  – Право, какой странный был человек этот Ягудин. Вся жизнь напоказ. И смерть напоказ! Сначала создает идеалы, а потом рушит их на веки вечные!
    – У него найдется преемник.
    – Вряд ли. В Башню Счастья можно поверить единожды. А когда ее создатель смеется над поверившими глупцами, миф рассеивается безвозвратно. Народ не прощает оскорблений!
    – Вы плохо знаете свой народ. Тем, кого толпа любит и боготворит, она прощает все, и прощает заранее. Вот увидите, что Ягудина будет хоронить весь город и его имя останется в чанчжоэйской летописи навечно.

&  Девушка поддалась ..., глаза ее были столь глубоки, а руки так требовательны, что как только они оказались сокрыты от случайных взглядов сухими зарослями, напряжение оставило Шаллера, сознание растворилось, и он отправился в короткий путь безумия.

&  – Хватит ютиться в пещерах и думать, как блоха, что ослиный зад – весь мир!

&  – Жаль! Мне хотелось донести до тебя эту новость первым.
    – Почему?
    – Потому что я люблю приносить новости. И плохие, и хорошие.
    – Странное удовольствие.
    – Не думаю, что в этом вопросе я исключение. {...} Просто человек любит приносить новости первым. Ему нравится потрясти, послушать в ответ: "Да что вы! не может быть! как это произошло?.."

---

&  – Как больно, Господи!!!
    – Страдания облегчают душу, – поддержал дух Теплого Генрих Иванович. – Они облагораживают и подтверждают, что человек еще жив. Вы живы, и вас можно с этим поздравить!

&  – Так оно в жизни и бывает. Чем больше повседневной рутины, тем жизнь беззаботней! А для философских мыслей нужна скука отчаянная! От скуки и мысли все светлые...

&  Да что об этом думать! Сколь ни думай, жизнь все равно распорядится по иному...

&  Так, вероятно, в жизни всегда. Жизнь – она как роза ветров. Есть Юг и Север, как Добро и Зло. Но есть и восток и запад, есть юго-запад и северо-восток.
    Скорее всего, нет абсолютного Добра и нет абсолютного Зла. Есть юго-запад и северо-восток. Ну, и другое, в таком же духе!..

&  Ее вскоре поймали и всяческими снадобьями пытались успокоить. Девушка и подышала нашатырем, и глотнула отвара мяты... Но лишь обильные слезы с частичками души сделали свое дело и лишили ее сил.

&  Она взяла со столика поэтический сборник какого-то французика, раскрыла его наугад и погрузилась в зарифмованные слюни романтизма.

&  – Это кара Господня!.. Где же я согрешил, где виноват перед Господом?!
    – Не стоит так себя бичевать! – успокаивал доктор Струве. – Почему кара Господня?.. Может быть, это испытание?!
    – Ах, оставьте!.. – всплеснул руками митрополит. – Бог уже испытал человека! Уж он знает, на что способен гомо сапиенс! Это – кара! Я вам говорю! Поверьте мне! Кара!!!

&  – Знаете, иногда кто-нибудь скажет что-нибудь эдакое, умное, так что оскомина на зубах, как будто лимон целиком сожрал! И в харю хочется такому умнику дать!..

&  Митрополит и губернатор еще пытались что-то сделать, кого-то удержать, кому-то подставить подножку, но все было тщетно. Народ обрел единое сознание и единую цель, а потому устремился в слаженном порыве учинять бойню.

&  – Вам действительно кажется, что я изо всего этого выпутаюсь?
    – Муха не бьется в паутине вечно. Она либо выпутывается из нее, либо погибает.

&  Постарайтесь поскорее прийти в себя и ни о чем не жалейте! Каждая минута нова, и с каждой новой минутой в нас родится новый человек!

&  Г-н Персик переключал рычаг скоростей, говоря себе, что жить нужно только в столице. И не обязательно в российской!

  ... Юный лось безразлично задрал к небу голову, а потом вновь опустил ее к земле.”

Snowtown

& John: It’s good? It’s what they call a green curry.
    Jamie: Is that because of the peas?
    John: It’s probably because it’s green.

& John: Do you like being fucked?
    Jamie: What?
    John: Do you like being fucked?!
    Jamie: No.
    John: So why not do something about it?

---

& John: Do you wanna shoot it? Yeah? Shoot it.
    Jamie: At what?
    John: Shoot the dog. {...}
    Jamie: No.
    John: No? Why not? She’s my dog, mate. I don’t really give a shit. You don’t even have to look at her... You just shoot it.

--
On the Imdb.

__ Talented, deep, serious, honest, insightful movie. Unusual, strange, disturbing. Very talented. But you'll not like it. You just can't. Just as you can't to stop viewing.

Дмитрий Липскеров — Сорок лет Чанчжоэ (1/2)

  “Капитан в отставке Ренатов сидел на маленькой деревянной табуреточке, стоящей на цветном, с азиатскими узорами, покрывале и, щурясь, слегка улыбаясь, смотрел на небо. ...

&  От голоса жены, скатывающегося бубенчиком вниз, от заботливости супруги в Семене Ильиче неизменно всплескивалось ощущение счастья, тихого и навсегда.

&  Лишь только его просыпающееся сознание столкнулось с новым утром, как в мозгу снова всплыла фраза: "Каждый член ищет свое влагалище". И мозг незамедлительно начал работу.

&  – Почему мужчины должны быть инициаторами даже в поцелуях?
    – Потому что, если бы мужчины ждали поцелуев от женщин, не рождались бы дети.

&  Ведь это тоже способность – спокойно довольствоваться тем, что дадено Богом: никому не завидовать и спать спокойно, видя во сне благопристойные сны.

&  Когда разгоряченная орава вывалилась на площадь в корейском районе, разгромив по пути несколько магазинов и пустив кишки их хозяевам, когда пролитая кровь захмелила рассудки погромщиков и катастрофа, казалось, была неизбежной, навстречу извергам из мясной лавочки вышел седоволосый старичок по имени Сим Бин Ген и, вознеся руки у небу, на русском языке обратился к озверевшим боевикам. Он успел сказать лишь несколько слов, после чего камень величиной с грецкий орех, выпущенный из пращи, размозжил ему голову. А слова были вот какие:
    – Мы не отбилай васы денески! Мы не тлавим васых детисек! Вы залабатывай мало мало денесек, потому сто мало мало лаботать и мало мало думать!.. Мы холосый и доблый налод! Мы длузно зыть с лусскими!..

---

&  ... Таким образом и произошло название Интерната для детей сирот имени графа Оплаксина, павшего в боях за собственную совесть.

&  – А вы сами что-нибудь сочиняете?
    – Нет, – ответил Генрих. – Не сочиняю. Не чувствую за собой талантов.

&  Он держался обеими руками за горло, выпучив глаза, и ждал, когда сердце последний раз ударит в колокол души и та, лишившись равновесия, сдернется с места и устремится в неизведанное.

&  – Господа, господа! Образумьтесь! – Митрополит схватился за крест. – Нельзя попасть на небеса по лестнице! Если бы такое было возможно, то всякая нечисть греховная поползла бы в рай! На небеса есть лишь один путь – через смерть и отделение души от плоти!
    – Успокойтесь, святой отец. Никто не подвергает сомнению, что только душа может попасть на небо, но никак не тело. Суть дела не в этом. Надо дать народу возможность совершить поступок, пусть он и абсурден.

&  Полнота любовных эмоций одинакова как в юности, так и в старости, с той лишь разницей, что к старости ты знаешь, как может твоя душа любить, как готова страдать она от неразделенной страсти, а юность лишь тычется слепцом, нащупывая пути для слез, и удивляется радости страданий. Старость должна иметь плод любви, который принесет ей умиротворение. Любовь в старости – это как динамо-машина, которая не подсоединена к лампочке, а просто распыляет электричество в пространство...

&  "Вероятно, я наблюдал то, о чем мне не хотел рассказывать Супонин. Теперь я знаю, что происходит между женщиной и мужчиной. То же самое, что и между курами. Экая мерзость – жизнь!" Джером еще раз заглянул в щель.

&  – Велик русский народ в своем стремлении к иллюзиям!

&  – Вы хотите счастья? – спросил человек.
    – Хотим! – дружно отозвалась толпа.
    – Вы верите, что по Башне можно перейти в райские кущи?
    – Верим!
    – Верите?
    – Верим!!!
    Человек на вершине на мгновение замолчал, а потом вдвое громче заорал:
    – Ну и идиоты! Кретины! Быдло!
    После этих слов Ягудин чуть присел, затем расправил руки, словно птица крылья перед полетом, оттолкнулся ногами от свежей кирпичной кладки и с диким криком полетел...
    – Быдло-о-о!..

Окончание

Colombiana

& Marco: You know who Don Luis is, right?.. He was like a father to your father. That makes you family too. But when someone is good to you and you’re not good to them back, then bad things happen.

& Marco: You’re a smart girl, and in this life, smart girls always get what they want. Hm? So just tell me. Just tell me, sweetheart. What do you want?
    Cataleya: Aah! To kill Don Luis.

& Emilio: You are very talented. Is this what you want to be, an artist?
    Cataleya: I used to want to be like Xena. Warrior princess.

& Cataleya: I want to be a killer. Can you help me?
    Emilio Restrepo: Sure.

---

& Agent Williams: What do you think? Hm?
    Don Luis: Coincidence.
    Williams: Twenty-two times?

& Agent Ross (by Lennie James): Have you covered all your bases?.. This whole place is wired with webcams.
    Cataleya: You mean these? Talk about covering all my bases... Your chair is pressure-wired. You move a single inch, it’ll be the last move you ever make.

& Cataleya: When your dinner’s ready, the timer in your chair will have expired. Don’t get up before.

& Agent Ross: It’s her. If you don’t give her what she wants, she’s going to redecorate your whole office... With you.

--
+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ As they say: 'pretty entertaining trash'. + Zoe Saldana.

30 Minutes or Less

& Chet: You’ve been watching the whole time?
    Nick: Yeah, the whole show. Really classy move there at the end. The kiss.
    Chet: If a woman is kind to provide me with fellatio services... I’m not gonna dart out of there like she’s an untouchable.
    Nick: And they say chivalry is dead. Have a beer. The alcohol should help wash the taste of yourself out of your mouth.

& Dwayne: If you weren’t a skinny bitch, you could be in the military.
    Travis: I don’t need to be. I taught myself how to do this. I went online and looked all this up.
    Dwayne: I hear you. I taught myself how to eat pussy and cut my own hair.
    Travis: I taught myself how to eat pussy hair.

& Nick: Tom Small is gay?! That kid used to beat me and Chet in grammar school.
    Kate: Tell me about it. He OTPF’d me at Junior High Formal.
    Nick: What the hell is that?
    Kate: “Over the pants fingered.”

& Kate: I’m moving to Atlanta. I’m gonna be working in their Special Events Department.
    Nick: In Hotlanta? I know a little about it from rap music... and it sounds like a fucked-up place.

& Travis: Where do all these leaves come from?
    Dwayne: Where the hell do you think, dude? From fucking trees.
    Travis: That’s what she said.
    Dwayne: No, “that’s what she said” jokes don’t work with that. It has to be in a sexual reference. Like, you know, “These leaves are hard.” — “That’s what she said.”

& Dwayne: You know why I sleep late, Travis? It’s not because I’m lazy. It’s on account of me having so many goddamn dreams. Big ones.

& Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big old cock... and slaps you right in the face.

& Nick: I’m off in 10 minutes. Where the hell is this?
    Chris: Here, let me check my fuck-you map... Yeah, it’s in... Thirty Minutes or Less Land or else the pizza comes out of your paycheck. Ticktock!

& Dwayne: Don’t do anything stupid like trip over your shoelaces*. That vest is packed with C-4. The C is for “chaos.”
    Travis: It’s actually for “composite,” but yeah, don’t bump into shit: Bufff!

& Chet: Damn it. I want to tell you to get fucked.
    Nick: I know.
    Chet: But I can’t. Because I’m a better man than you. And if I let you go and you explode... that shit will come back and eat at my conscience. And affect my relationships with other people. Like my future wife and kids, and shit. We’d be having a picnic or something one day and I would just be like: “Oh, damn it, I shouldn’t have let Nick explode that time.”
    Nick: That’s a very rational way to look at the situation.

---

& Chet: What if we saw off your arms... slip the vest over your head, then go to the hospital? They’ll reattach your arms... We’ll keep your arms on ice.
    Nick: Fuck that.
    Chet: I don’t know, man. These sites say different shit. Not a lot of consensus in the bomb-disarming community.

& Nick: It’s a local bank. It’s the Donner-Wells.
    Chet: The one by the Olive Garden? That’s my bank. Small, standard security. Totally manageable for one dude.
    Nick: One dude? You mean, you’re not gonna do it with me?
    Chet: No, but I’m happy to give tips, advice, motivational speeches.

& Nick: Okay. Guns... Masks...
    Cashier: You sure y’all don’t wanna grab some condoms?
    Nick: No. Why?
    Cashier: Because this is usually what men buy before they rape someone.

& Dwayne: Hell, you gay for this guy or something?
    Travis: What? Yeah. If wanting a lot of money is gay, yeah, I’m Elton John.

& Nick: I just want you to know that if today was the final day... of my brief and shitty existence... and I could only see one more person... it would be you.

& Dwayne: Yo, Juicy, what’s happening? This is King Dwayne. I have been thinking about you a lot. And I don’t know, I just feel cool inside. I’m excited to get this money and me and you to kind of start our thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about the polishing-the-scepter deal. I know that’s not really polishing. You’re talking about sucking my dick. But I just want you to know that it’s gonna be mutual. You won’t just have to polish my scepter, I will also lick your crown... which is a euphemism for, you know, eating your pussy. Give me a call when you get a chance.

& Chet: Which one of you assholes tripped the alarm?! Sandra, don’t tell me you did that too.
    Sandra: No, it was Mark. He pushed the button when you came in.
    Mark: Sandra, you bitch. They’re gonna kill both of us.
    Sandra: Fuck you, you’re the manager!

& Chet: Can’t outrun these guys in a Datsun.
    Nick: I can, I do this for a living.
    Chet: No, you don’t. You deliver pizzas. That’s nothing like this.
    Nick: Hang on.

& Travis: We’re gonna get the money like we planned. We just have to get the leverage back.
    Dwayne: How do we do that?
    Travis: We hit that pizza fuck where it hurts.
    Dwayne: What, in his dick?
    Travis: No, in his pussy.

& Chet: I should just become a bank robber. I was pretty good at it. Teachers don’t make shit. Bank robbers make bank.

& Nick: I got the cash, so give me the code and Kate.
    Dwayne: Or maybe we can chill out, wait for the money shot.
    Nick: That’s very funny. Now give me the fucking code.
    Dwayne: Fine, 69, 69, 69.
    Nick: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
    Dwayne: Man, don’t judge me. It’s my favorite sexual position.

--
shoelaces — шнурки

+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Pretty funny. Good team: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride & also Aziz Ansari as Chet.

Hung 3x3

Mister Drecker or Ease Up on the Whup-Ass

& Ray: How are you?
    Logan: I was like, no way. That can’t be him! You look like a secret agent in that suit.
    Ray: Well, don’t blow my cover.
    Logan: Come on, Mr. Drecker. I’m buying you a drink.
    Ray: What did you just call me?!!
    Logan: Mr. Drecker. Mr. Drecker, it’s Logan. Logan Lewis. I was in your history class. World history. You gave me a “D,” you jerk.

& Ray: I blew my cover, Tanya. I knew this girl from school!
    Tanya: Wait, you had sex with a student?!
    Ray: No, no, with a former student.
    Tanya: You had sex with a former student?!!

& Tanya: You just... you need a safe word.
    Ray: A what? A what?
    Tanya: A safe word. It’s something you say when a situation gets out of hand. Like “Bubble Boy” or “Chechnya” or something.

& Ray: Lydia... It was a little rapey if you ask me. Some women like to dress up as nurses, schoolgirls. What kind of woman likes to dress up like a cop?..

& Lydia: Well, you have a choice. You can go to jail or... you can fuck me.
    Ray: Well... I guess I’ll go to jail.
    Lydia: ............ Bad idea. Now you have to go to jail and fuck me. Hands behind your back, scumbag!

& Ray: Don’t throw stones, Tanya. It’s okay for you to fuck some kid in a bathroom, but I go out on a date with some younger girl that makes me suddenly a dirty old man? You’re sexist.

---

& Ray: I, uh... I do a... ahem... an outreach program. It’s for this wellness center. It’s kind of like a support group. I get... you know, I raise money for it and get paid sometimes to do counseling. Stuff like that. Anyway, the other night I thought that you were a patient... a client... a patient.

& Ray: “Logan, no matter who”... Jeez, I can’t even read my handwriting.
    Logan: “Logan, no matter who underestimates you, never underestimate yourself. Coach D.”

& Logan: Are you a prostitute, Mr. Drecker?

& Ray: Logan, I am your teacher!
Logan: And I want to fuck you.

& Lenore: Oh, sweetheart, you have entered a forest of lies and you forgot your fucking compass.

& Lenore: What I want is to sell Jason... to other women... for a profit. Do you understand what that means? It’s a terrific business opportunity for him. Will you make it happen or will you stand in his way?
Sandee: If I give you something I love... what do I get in return?
Lenore: What do you want?
Sandee: I want a hi-def flat-screen TV... and Blu-Ray.

& Jessica: Guys, why don’t you go play your dad that song?
    Ray: Song? What song?
    Damon: One, two, eff-you.

♪ Congrats on your job ♪
♪ don’t eff it up, don’t eff it up ♪
♪ Ronnie’s gone ♪
♪ don’t eff it up, don’t eff it up... ♪

& Jessica: I don’t need the money. I got a job.
    Ray: You got a job?
    Jessica: Yeah, with the doctor who treated my mom. You met him at the hospital.
    Ray: D-d-d-doctor?

& Tanya: Oh God. That’s Lydia! She’s really a cop. She’s a real cop.

& Logan: Give me a little credit.
    Ray: Well, I did give you that “D”.
    Logan: ... I want an “A”.
    Ray: How about a “C”?
    Logan: I want an “A”.
    Ray: ..... How about a “B”?
    Logan: I want a fucking “A”, Mr. Drecker! And I want it now.
    Ray: You got 600 bucks?

& Logan: Oh my God, Mr. Drecker. I knew it!

Dionne Bromfield — Move a little faster
♪ Yeah yeah... ♪

♪ You got to move a little faster ♪
♪ yeah, you’re too slow, boy, if you want to keep up ♪
♪ you got to move a little faster, yeah ♪
♪ your mind is always racing ♪
♪ so work it out, baby ♪
♪ got no time for faking ♪
♪ you got to step up ♪
♪ if you’re gonna do it right ♪
♪ you’re too slow, boy ♪
♪ if you want to keep up ♪
♪ you got to move ♪
♪ a little faster ♪

--
On the Imdb.

A Dangerous Method

& Carl Jung: What I don’t understand is why Freud, having proposed this radical therapeutic idea, this talking cure, this psychoanalysis, then lets years go by without giving even the barest outline of his clinical procedures?

& Emma Jung: Presumably he uses the method on his patients?
    Jung: I’ve no idea.
    Emma: So might you be the first doctor to try this out?
    Jung: It’s possible.
    Emma: Why don’t you write and ask him?
    Jung: I don’t know him.

& Herr Direktor: What are your particular interests?
    Sabina Spielrein: Suicide... Interplanetary travel.

& Emma: I’m sorry.
    Jung: Sorry?
    Emma: I promised you a son on Christmas Day. And here she is a day late and the wrong sex.

& Jung: Perhaps the terms themselves should be reviewed. If, for instance, we could come up with some milder term than “libido”, we might not encounter such emotional resistance. It would make the teaching side of things much easier.
    Sigmund Freud: Is euphemism a good idea? Once they work out what we actually mean, they’ll be just as appalled as ever.
    Jung: I take your point, but I still think it’s worth trying to sweeten the pill... when it comes to questions of sexuality.
    Freud: And, by the way, please don’t feel you have to restrain yourself here. My family are all veterans of the most unsuitable topics of mealtime conversation.

& Jung: She’s a walking advertisement for the effectiveness of psychoanalysis.
    Freud: Psychoanalysis.
    Jung: Oh?
    Freud: It’s more logical... And it sounds better.

& Jung: The masochistic aspects of her condition are much more deeply rooted... than any anal fixations we may have uncovered.
    Freud: The two are intimately connected.
    Jung: I can only tell you that she is rather disorganized, emotionally generous and exceptionally idealistic.
    Freud: Well, perhaps it’s a Russian thing.

& Jung: But might that not be caused by your insistence on the exclusively... sexual interpretation of the clinical material?
    Freud: All I’m doing is pointing out... what experience indicates to me must be the truth. And I can assure you that in a hundred year’s time, our work will still be rejected.

& Freud: Columbus, you know, had no idea what country he’d discovered. Like him, I’m in the dark. All I know is I’ve set foot on the shore and the country exists.
    Jung: I think of you more as Galileo. And your opponents as those who condemned him, while refusing even to put their eye to his telescope.
    Freud: In any event, I have simply opened a door. It’s for the young men like yourself to walk through it.

& Freud: There’s the added difficulty, more ammunition for our enemies, that all of us here in Vienna, in our psychoanalytical circle, are Jews.
    Jung: I don’t see what difference that makes.
    Freud: That, if I may say so, is an exquisitely Protestant remark.

& Freud: I wonder if you’re aware of the fact... that our conversation has so far lasted... 13 hours?

& Jung: There must be more than one hinge* into the universe!

& Jung: So you’re... not a believer in monogamy?
    Otto Gross: For a neurotic like myself, I can’t possibly imagine a more stressful concept.

& Otto: If there is one thing I’ve learned in my short life... is this... never repress anything.

& Jung: You think Freud’s right? You think all neurosis is of exclusively sexual origin?
    Otto: I think Freud’s obsession with sex probably has a great deal... to do with the fact that he never gets any.

---

& Otto: It seems to me, a measure of the true perversity of the human race, that one of its very few reliably pleasurable activities... should be the subject of so much hysteria and repression.
    Jung: But not to repress yourself... is to unleash all kinds of dangerous and destructive forces.
    Otto: Our job... is to make our patients capable of freedom.
    Jung: I’ve heard it said, that you helped one of your patients to kill herself.
    Otto: She was resolutely suicidal. I just explained, how she could do it without botching* it. Then I asked her if she didn’t prefer the idea of becoming my lover... She opted for both.
    Jung: That can’t be what we want for our patients.
    Otto: Freedom is freedom.

& Otto: Just take her to some secluded* spot and thrash* her to within an inch of her life. That’s clearly what she wants. How can you deny her such a simple pleasure?
    Jung: Pleasure is never simple, as you very well know.
    Otto: It is. Of course it is. Until we decide to complicate it. What my father calls maturity. What I call surrender.
    Jung: Surrender, for me, would be to give in to these urges.
    Otto: Then surrender. It doesn’t matter what you call it as long as you don’t let the experience escape. That’s my prescription.

& Jung: What I’m afraid of is his power to convince me. On the subject of monogamy, for example. Why should we put so much frantic effort... into suppressing our most basic natural instincts?
    Sabina: I don’t know. You tell me.

& Sabina: Who is it?
    Jung: A friend.

& Sabina: Don’t you love me anymore?
    Jung: Only as your physician.

& Jung: Why is this so important to you?
    Sabina: I want him to take me as his patient.
    Jung: Does it have to be him?
    Sabina: It has to be him.

& Freud: I’ve always been in two minds about America. Maybe we made a foolish error. Do they really want us there?
    — They postponed the Congress for 2 months, so that you could attend. Surely that gives you some indication.

& Freud: I had a most elaborate dream last night. Particularly rich.
    Jung: Let’s hear it.
    Freud: I’d love to tell you... but I don’t think I should.
    Jung: Why ever not?
    Freud: I wouldn’t want to risk my authority.

& Freud: You think they know we’re on our way, bringing them the plague?

& Freud: In general, I don’t care if a man believes in Rama, Marx or Aphrodite, as long as he keeps it out of the consulting room.
    Sabina: Is that what’s at the bottom of your dispute with Dr. Jung?
    Freud: I have no dispute with Dr. Jung. I was simply mistaken about him. I thought he was going to be able to carry our work forward after I was gone. I didn’t bargain for all that second-rate mysticism and self-aggrandizing* shamanism. Nor did I realize he could be so brutal and sanctimonious*.

& Sabina: He’s trying to find some way forward... so that we don’t just have to tell our patients, “This is why you are the way you are.” He wants to be able to say, “We can show you what it is you might want to become”.
    Freud: Playing God, in other words. We have no right to do that. The world is as it is. Understanding and accepting that is the way to psychic health. What good can we do if our aim is simply to replace one delusion with another?

& Freud: I’m afraid your idea of a mystical union with a blond Siegfried... was inevitably doomed. Put not your trust in Aryans. We’re Jews, my dear Miss Spielrein, and Jews we will always be.

& Freud: How sweet... it must be to die.

& Jung: I don’t want to just open a door... and show the patient his illness, squatting there like a toad. I want to try and find a way, to help the patient reinvent himself. To send him off on a journey at the end of which is waiting... the person he was always intended to be.

--
hinge — стержень; петля; шарнир; крюк; суть
botch — портить; делать небрежно
secluded — уединенный; укромный
thrash — бить; молотить; пороть; отлупить; взгреть
aggrandizing — превозносящее
sanctimonious — ханжеский; лицемерный

+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Keira Knightley for President Oscar!

Hung 3x2

Take the Cake or Are You Packing?

& Ray: It was gonna be an easy night.

& Tanya: Ray, women like to be fought over. I mean sometimes they’ll have sex with the guy that seems to want them the most. It’s a biological imperative.
    Ray: Thank you, Darwin.

& Tanya: You don’t listen to me. You have to listen to me.
    Ray: Since when?
    Tanya: Ray, every ship has a captain. And I’m the pimp.

& Ray: Cut the crap, Tanya. I have a problem with you saying that you’re the captain, okay, when we’re ... partners.
    Tanya: Well, we’re partners but, Ray, but... I mean, I call the shots.

& Ray: Oh, no, no cuffs. No! No cuffs. Suddenly every woman in my life wanted to be on top.

& Jessica: You know what? Ray is not the cake. We are not together. And last I checked, you were the one getting jerked off in the back of a car, not me.
    Ronnie: I... didn’t... come.
    Jessica: Fuck you. Fuck your fucking check.

& Jason: Saturdays are no good.
    Lenore: What are you talking about? Every Saturday?
    Jason: Yeah, kind of. And every other Wednesday is our alone time.
    Lenore: Who, you and your dick?
    Jason: No, me and Sandee.
    Lenore: Who the fuck is Sandee?
    Jason: My fiancée... Oh, I’m kind of engaged.
{ And who’s the Sandee? Oh, yeah! Analeigh Tipton known from a Crazy, Stupid, Love. }

& Tanya: I have a plan. I have a plan. It’s the broken window theory. If you have a house and there’s a broken window and you don’t fix it right away then you get a lot more broken windows. And you also get, like, graffiti all over your house.
    Ray: That’s your plan?

---

& Sandee: And what would you like your cake to say?
    Lenore: “I... fucked... your... boyfriend.”
    Sandee: ... That’s what you want the cake to say?
    Lenore: Yes.
    Sandee: I think that the company might have some sort of policy against using swear words.
    Lenore: Oh. “Screwed” is fine.
    Sandee: Yeah?
    Lenore: Yeah.
    Sandee: And is this for pickup or delivery?
    Lenore: Delivery. What’s your address?
    Sandee: I li— excuse me?
    Lenore: Where do you live?
    Sandee: I live at 323 North Deerfield Road, Apartment 5.
    Lenore: Great, put 323 North Deerfield Road, Apartment 5.
    Sandee: That’s where I live!
    Lenore: Yes. The cake’s for you.

& Lotte: It’s not heart attack. It’s chicken wings.
    Ray: What kind of pain is it, Lottie?
    Lotte: It’s chicken wing type of pain.

& Tanya: I’m Tanya. Does that name mean anything to you?
    Jason: Uh, I have a cousin named Tanya.
    Tanya: Yeah. Is your cousin a pimp?

& Jason: I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?

& Ray: You went behind my back when I specifically said I want to deal with the guy and you fucked him?
    Tanya: Um...
    Ray: That’s you being the captain?
    Tanya: Look, what I did is I made a calculated business decision for the two of us.

& Ray: I can’t believe you slept with that guy. He’s like 12.
    Tanya: He is not. He’s at least 20-something.

--
On the Imdb.

The Big Bang Theory 5x15

The Friendship Contraction

& Leonard: What the hell?!!
    Sheldon: Emergency preparedness drill.

& Raj: Why do you put six sugars in your coffee?
    Leonard: Because the cafeteria doesn’t offer little packets of methamphetamine.
    Howard: Emergency drill night last night, huh?
    Leonard: Uh-huh.
    Raj: How’d you do?
    Sheldon: I’ll tell you exactly how he did. “Readiness: unsatisfactory. Follows direction: barely. Attitude: a little too much. Overall: not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno, his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else’s day.”

& Leonard: I don’t care. I’m done.
    Sheldon: Hold on. Are you saying that you want to invoke Clause 209?
    Leonard: I don’t know what that is, but if it means I can go home and sleep, then yes.
    Sheldon: Think carefully here. Clause 209 suspends our friendship, and strips down the Roommate Agreement to its bare essentials. Our responsibilities toward each other would only be rent, utilities and a perfunctory chin jut of recognition as we pass in the hall. ’Sup?
    Leonard: Where do I sign?

---

& Sheldon: All right. That’s it. We are now no longer companions, boon or otherwise. We are not merely acquaintances. To amend the words of Toy Story... “You have not got a friend in me.”
    Leonard: I’m gonna go home and take a nap.
    Sheldon: Yeah, well, tell it to someone who cares.

& Sheldon: Hello, dear friends... And Dr. Hofstadter.
    Leonard: ’Sup?

& Sheldon: My apologies. I would’ve been here sooner, but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

& Sheldon: Hello, Stuart.
    Stuart: Oh, hey, Sheldon. Can I help you find something today?
    Sheldon: No, no. I was just sitting at home thinking about how it might be nice to catch up with my ninth favorite person.
    Stuart: Ninth?
    Sheldon: You moved up one. My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.

& Sheldon: Before you go, consider this. Not only do I have a deep-cycle marine battery power source which is more than capable of running our entertainment system, I also have all 61 episodes of the BBC series Red Dwarf... and Fiddle-Faddle. All yours if you’re willing to reinstate the Roommate Agreement.
    Penny: I’ve got wine at my place and some bubble wrap we could pop.
    Sheldon: ... Oh, he’ll be back. Wine and a girl in the dark... he’s gonna be bored out of his mind.

& Penny: Anyway, you want to make out?
    Leonard: I thought because our relationship’s in a beta test, you wanted to take things slow.
    Penny: Okay. Do you want to make out slow?

& Sheldon: Excuse me, Leonard.
    Leonard: Since when don’t you knock? It’s like the only good thing about you.

& Penny: Aw...
    Leonard: No, don’t “aw” him. He brought this all on himself.
    Penny: But he’s sad.
    Leonard: No, he’s crazy. Sometimes crazy looks like sad so it’ll suck you back in.

& Sheldon: What are you proposing?
    Leonard: That we go back to the way things were. But when I do something for you, you show a little appreciation.
    Sheldon: And how would I do that?
    Leonard: ... You say “thank you.”
    Sheldon: Every time?!

--
On the Imdb.

House M.D. 8x11

Nobody's Fault

& Cofield: Dr. House, this recording will be transcribed and published along with all supporting documentation and rulings. Do you have any questions before we get started?
    House: Yeah... Who the hell are you?
    Cofield: I’m Walter Cofield, Chief of Neurology, Mercy Hospital. I’ll be deciding your fate today.

& Cofield: What are you doing?
    House: Taking my vic-amins.

& Cofield: Were you taking Vicodin during this case?
    House: Uhh... Yes. And during about nine years of previous cases. My process is proven. Good things usually happen. Bad things sometimes happen.

& Cofield: And when bad things happen, we should figure out what went wrong, so we can learn from it and correct it.
    House: So that we can assign blame instead of recognizing that bad things sometimes happen. It was nobody’s fault.

& House: Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym. Those who can’t move their arms or legs teach us to laugh at others.

& Park: He thought Taub’s idea was stupid.
    Cofield: And what about your idea?
    Park: He thought that was stupid too.

& Cofield: Does Dr. House not attach importance to patient histories?
    Taub: No, he thinks they’re crucial. He just doesn’t think being in the same room as the patient is crucial. House thinks avoiding patients allows him to stay as objective as possible... He’s not wrong.
    Cofield: Sounds like a very diplomatic way of saying he’s lazy.
    House: ... That’s also true. Either way, I’m covered. If you want an accurate patient history, don’t ever talk to the patient. Everybody lies... Except me... To you. Would never do that.

& Cofield: Your patient was doubled over in pain and coughing up blood, and you found that interesting?
    House: Why, is that bad?
    Cofield: ... It’s interesting.

---

& Park: But that’s only experimental!
    Cofield: It’s never actually been used before.
    House: Not true. Been used in sheep.
    Cofield: Uh-huh.

& Cofield: So you busted out the sulfur dioxide stink bomb?
    House: It was a team-building exercise.
    Cofield: No. It was manipulation. You were pressuring your team into coming up with unsafe medical ideas just to get out of that room.
    House: You say pressure, I say inspire. The usual safe ideas were not gonna work.

& Cofield: In light of what happened, you still think it was the perfect diagnostic moment?
    House: ... Yes. My theory accounted for all the medical outcomes... It did not account for the disobedience of my own team.

& Taub: Which artery?
    Adams: It’s his heart.

& Cofield: So he just walked out?
    Taub: There really was nothing for him to do.
    Cofield: Speaks to a certain callousness* on Dr. House’s part, don’t you think?
    Taub: Who cares if House was callous? Are you gonna punish callousness?

& Cofield: ... How do you work with a guy like that?
    Chase: {...} He wanted to check on me. But he needed an excuse. Otherwise, he could be accused of caring.
    Cofield: So your testimony is that Dr. House’s complete lack of concern is evidence of his deep concern?

& House: We’re going off the record because this is irrelevant, or are you gonna hit me?

& Cofield: Dr. House is obviously brilliant...
    House: Well, I think we’ve heard enough.
    Cofield: ...but Dr. House is also a fiasco.

& Patient’s wife: I came to speak with Dr. House. {...} I thought I should say something. I mean... He wasn’t the nicest doctor I’ve ever met...
    House: Well, I think we’ve heard enough.
    Patient’s wife: ...but he was right.

& Cofield: Congratulations, Dr. House. This unfortunate [cencored] incident is officially nobody’s fault.

& House: How’d you get the firing wire into the Vicodin bottle without me noticing?
    Chase: Why’d I even have to? What was the point of the orange hair?

& House: I found a way to let you know to not be late.
    Chase: You couldn’t just ask me to stop being late?
    House: What fun would that be?

& House: They’re wrong... I’m sorry.

--
callousness — бессердечность; грубость; бесчувственность

On the Imdb.

Hung 3x1

Don’t Give Up on Detroit or Hung Like a Horse

& Tanya: Ladies, sex is not a job. It’s a way of life. My name is Tanya Skagle. Welcome to Orgasmic Living.

& Tanya: Berbig— Ber— Berbigs? Berbiglia? Ber— uh— I can’t— I can’t read this, Cammy. No more cursive, all right? God, it’s not even English!

& Tanya: It’s not all about your dick, Ray.
    Ray: Okay, so it’s not all about my dick.
    Tanya: All right, what is what’s this place about, Ray? What do you think? What’s Starbucks about?.. I mean, nobody needs coffee so bad that they’re willing to pay $5 a cup for some caramel macchiato.

& Tanya: Happiness consultants. It’s a wellness center for women, coming to a storefront near you... Thanks to Judy Pearson and the Certified National Bank.

& Ray: We’ve got something special to offer Detroit and we’d like to focus on that...
    Tanya: It’s very special.
    Ray: ...Full-time.
    Judy: But what is your product? Can you tell me that? Can you give me an example, please, of what it is that you are selling?
    Tanya: .............. Hand creams... Organic hand creams.

---

& Tanya: About the hand cream... I know nothing about hand cream. I don’t know why I said it. What I should have said is that... women don’t orgasm enough. ... The thing is we can orgasm more, both in the bedroom and in life in general. Sex can be better, Judy. Our lives can be better— you, me, the fucking country. In fear is where our orgasm lies...

& Ray: The whole thing was nuts, from beginning to end. But banks and women, well, they work in mysterious ways.

& Ray: The vulva?! Of all the parts of the human body to pick, why the vulva?!
    Tanya: It’s a vulva!
    Ray: You think that’s gonna get us a loan?

& Ray: It’s the word, vulva... not sexy.

& Ray: It was starting to look like the greatest date of my professional career.......
    Judy: Thanks, Ray. We’re good.

& Tanya: The cunt as temple, tomb, cave or flower. I’d like to announce that the wellness center... we also offer private consultations... very private, with a therapist. It’s a female therapist, or a... or a male... it’s a male therapist. He’s very male. And very private.

& Tanya: That’s... Richard.

& Jessica: And all this is... is from substitute teaching?
    Ray: Yeah. Mostly. And you know, some odd jobs here and there.
    Jessica: Odd jobs... Wow, what kind of odd jobs? I mean I send my resume out 50 times a day, nobody ever calls me back.

& Lenore: Oh, I think I torqued my neck.
    Jason: Oh, I think that was the chair. Your ass is just too delicious.

& Lenore: What’s your name?
    Jason: Jason.
    Lenore: Jason... I’m glad I found you, Jason. I’ve been looking for you for a long time. Like they do in Tibet for the Dalai Lama.

& Lenore: You only have to kill one person to be a killer, baby.

& Tanya: Hey hey hey, let’s go to Windsor. Let’s cruise this puppy all the way to Canada.
    Ray: How about around the block?

1,2,3 — Work

♪ I work, I work ♪
♪ I work, I work for you ♪
♪ for you, for you ♪
♪ for you I work ♪
♪ I work, I work ♪
♪ if you work too ♪
♪ for you, for you, for you ♪
♪ gold card, platinum card ♪
♪ plastic card too ♪
♪ I don’t really give a damn about you ♪
♪ I keep all my earnings in a box marked shoes ♪
♪ I’d try to run heaven all to give you proof ♪

--
On the Imdb.

__ Wow, completely restart. In series, in happiness consulting business, in family. So refreshing. A right positioning is our all.