Secretary's Day

The Office 6×22

Erin Hannon: What was maternity leave like?
Pam Beesly: Oh. How do I explain it? It rocked. It rocked my ass off.

Gabe Lewis: The beginning here has been a little bit of a fiasco. Either they don't respect me, or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I'm the IT guy. This Cookie Monster thing is an opportunity to show people that I'm an authority figure.
Gabe Lewis: Hello, everyone. If I might have a moment of your time. It's come to my attention that people have been watching and laughing at a hurtful parody video. It is now forbidden to talk, joke about, or email this around. Yeah. And that's straight from corporate, so... Not to be scary, but, yeah, I would listen to me. And that's all.

Jim Halpert: What's up?
Dwight Schrute: Her milk is coming in. She's getting uncomfortable.
Jim Halpert: Dwight, don't be gross.
Pam Beesly: No, no, he's right.
Dwight Schrute: Same thing happens with my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk them, or else they'll moo like crazy.

Dwight Schrute: All right, this is gonna traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you, believe me.
Pam Beesly: You know what, Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first. Okay?
Dwight Schrute: Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you.

Andy Bernard: Okay. As some of you may know, I have a very special connection to Secretary's Day in the form of that 115-pound moonbeam over there named Erin Hannon. To a lot of you she may just be the person who brings you your fax confirmations, but to me, she is my girlfriend... in addition to being the person who brings me my fax confirmations. So, I wrote a little ditty that I would like to play for all of you right now. It's a little tune called Secretary of Love. One, two, one, two, three...

Erin Hannon: It was Andy, wasn't it?
Pam Beesly: No, no, it wasn't Andy. It wasn't. It doesn't matter. It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with... Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.
Erin Hannon: ... I hope you find what you're looking for.
Pam Beesly: Thank... you.

Gabe Lewis: That was ugly. I'm sorry that you had to see that.
Kelly Kapoor: Well, do they still get paid?
Gabe Lewis: It's tacky to discuss finances. It's best to pretend that this never happened.
Oscar Martinez: Sounds like they just got to go home with pay.

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