Sherlock 3×1
& Lestrade: Bollocks!
Phillip: No, no, no, no, it’s obvious. That’s how he did it. It’s obvious.
& Lestrade: Let it go, Sherlock’s dead.
& Lestrade: A bungee rope, a mask,
Derren Brown... Two years and the theories keep getting more stupid. How many more have you got for me today?
Ω Bazinga!
& Lestrade: Do you honestly believe that if you have enough stupid theories, it’s going to change what really happened?
& Sherlock: I didn’t know you spoke Serbian.
Mycroft: I didn’t. But the language has a Slavic root. Frequent Turkish and German loan words. Took me a couple of hours.
Sherlock: Hmm, you’re slipping.
Mycroft: Middle-age, brother mine. Comes to us all.
& Watson: I’ve er... I have met someone.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh! Ah, lovely.
Watson: Yeah. We’re getting married. Well, I’m going to ask, anyway.
Mrs. Hudson: So soon after Sherlock?
Watson: Hmm, well, yes.
Mrs. Hudson: What’s his name?
Watson: It’s a woman.
Mrs. Hudson: A woman?! Yes, of course it’s a woman. You really have moved on, haven’t you?
Watson: Mrs Hudson, how many times? Sherlock was not my boyfriend!
Mrs. Hudson: Live and let live, that’s my motto.
Watson: Listen to me — I am not gay!
& Sherlock: I think I’ll surprise John. He’ll be delighted.
Ω Bu-ha-ha.
& Zoe: Welcome back, Mr Holmes.
Sherlock: Thank you...
Blud.
& Sherlock: Interesting thing, a tuxedo. Lends distinction to friends and anonymity to waiters.
& Mary: John? John, what is it? What?
Sherlock: Well, the short version...
not dead.
& Watson: I don’t care how you faked it, Sherlock. I want to know why.
Sherlock: Why? Because Moriarty had to be stopped. Oh. Why, as in...? I see. Yes. Why? That’s a little more difficult to explain.
Ω Yo. They bullied us!
& Sherlock: The next of the 13 possibilities was...
Ω We’ll never know, right? No, not right!!
& Sherlock: I don’t understand, I said I’m sorry, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?
Mary: Gosh, you don’t know anything about human nature, do you?
Sherlock: Hmm, nature?.. No. Human?.. No.
& Phillip: Oh, ho!
Laura: What?!
Phillip: Are you out of your mind?!
Laura: I don’t see why not. It’s just as plausible as some of your theories.
& Phillip: I founded ’The Empty Hearse’ so like-minded people could meet, discuss theories! Sherlock’s still out there.
& Watson: I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes.
Mary: You should put that on a T-shirt.
Watson: Shut up.
Mary: Or what?
Watson: Or I’ll marry you.
& Mycroft: Don’t be smart.
Sherlock: That takes me back. “Don’t be smart, Sherlock, I’m the smart one.”
Mycroft: I am the smart one.
Sherlock: I used to think I was an idiot.
Mycroft: Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on, until we met other children.
Sherlock: Oh, yes, that was a mistake.
Mycroft: Ghastly. What were they thinking of?
& Mycroft: I am not lonely, Sherlock.
Sherlock: How would you know?
& Mrs. Hudson: Sherlock?
Sherlock: Hmm?
Mrs. Hudson: Talk to John.
Sherlock: I’ve tried talking to him. He made his position quite clear.
Mrs. Hudson: What did he say?
Sherlock: F...
Mrs. Hudson: Oh, dear.
& Molly: “How I Did It, by Jack the Ripper.”
Sherlock: Uh-huh.
Molly: That’s impossible.
Sherlock: Welcome to my world.
& Sherlock: I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.
Lestrade: No, please, insult away.
& Sherlock: I hope you’ll be very happy, Molly Hooper. You deserve it. After all, not all the men you fall for can turn out to be sociopaths. No? No.
Molly: .... Maybe it’s just my type.
& Watson: Those were your parents?
Sherlock: Yes.
Watson: Well... that is not what I...
Sherlock: What?
Watson: I mean, they’re just so... ordinary.
Sherlock: It’s a cross I have to bear.
& Sherlock: Sometimes a deception is so audacious, so outrageous that you can’t see it even when it’s staring you in the face.
& Sherlock: I don’t understand.
Watson: Well, that’s a first.
& Sherlock: Please, John, forgive me, for all the hurt that I caused you.
Watson: No, no, no, no, no, no, this is a trick. No. Another one of your bloody tricks.
& Watson: I wanted you not to be dead.
Sherlock: Yeah, well, be careful what you wish for.
& Sherlock: Neat, don’t you think?
Phillip: Hmm...
Sherlock: What?
Phillip: Not the way I’d have done it.
Sherlock: Oh, really?
Phillip: No, I’m not saying it’s not clever, but...
Sherlock: What?
Phillip: Bit... disappointed.
Sherlock: Oh. Everyone’s a critic.
Ω Bazinga!
& Phillip: Hang on. That doesn’t make sense. How could you be sure John would stand on that exact spot? I mean, what if he’d moved? And... how did you do it all so quickly? What if the bike hadn’t hit him? And anyway, why are you telling me all this? If you’d pulled that off, I’m the last person you’d tell the truth to!.. Sherlock Holmes!
Ω Definitely.
& Sherlock: There’s an off switch. There’s always an off switch. Terrorists can get into all sorts of problems unless there’s an off switch.
& Watson: I’m definitely going to kill you!
Sherlock: Oh, please. Killing me, that’s so two years ago.
& Watson: Did you...?
Sherlock: I’m not saying a word.
Watson: No, best not.
& Watson: You love it.
Sherlock: Love what?
Watson: Being Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock: I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.
& Watson: When you were dead, I went to your grave... I made a little speech. I actually spoke to you.
Sherlock: I know. I was there.
Watson: I asked you for one more miracle. I asked you to stop being dead.
Sherlock: I heard you.
& Sherlock: Anyway, time to go and be Sherlock Holmes.
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Brilliant. As usually. And this mockery of the fans. It was gorgeous.
So right they didn’t lift the curtain. For A, as Sherlock said a zillion times — ’It’s a trick. Just a magic trick.’ For B, ’Никогда не стремитесь проникнуть в тайны волшебства. Изнанка многих фокусов может испортить полученное от них удовольствие.’ For C, People don’t you have the real life you need to waste over this trick? Etcetera. Etcetera.
