Тропический гром (или Солдаты неудачи)

Tropic Thunder (2008)

* From Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown trailer: ...the world called on the one man who could make a difference. When it happened again, the world called on him once more. And no one saw it coming three more times! Now, the one man who made a difference five times before, is about to make a difference again. Only this time, it's different.
Scorcher (Tugg Speedman):



* From The Fatties: Fart Two trailer, Jeff Portnoy: In some countries, it's considered a compliment.


* From Satan's Alley trailer: I've been a bad, bad boy, Father.


* Tugg Speedman: This is insane! Are you really going to abandon this movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit!

* Les Grossman: This is Les Grossman. Who is this?
Some Viet Cong: This is Flaming Dragon!
Les: Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you better think again. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to head down there, and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you. You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!

---

* Kirk Lazarus: Cover me, you limp dick fuckups!

* Alpa Chino: That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker!

* Les Grossman, producer: You know how you handle an actor? They whine about anything, you pull down their pants and you spank their ass.
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Spanking a child turns him into a little snot. Fear makes him a man. I know a place where a man's worth is measured in the ears hanging from his dog tags. The real deep shit. You wanna make this movie right? That's where you take your pansy-ass actors.

* Les: Who is this guy?
Some assistant: Les, that's Four Leaf.
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. I wrote the book.
Les: You're a great American. This nation owes you a huge debt. Now shut the fuck up and let me do my job!

* Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: When the herd loses its way, the shepherd must kill the bull that leads them astray.

* Cockburn, director: I could shoot the whole thing guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty. Get them away from their helpers and ass-licking assistants. Put them in the real shit.
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Real shit.
Cockburn: With real fear in their eyes! Real fear, real emotion! Yes, Four Leaf, yes!
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Take them off the fucking grid!

* Kevin Sandusky: ... Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo where Hollywood was split into schisms, some studios backing Blu-ray Disc, others backing HD DVD. People thought it would come down to pixel rate or refresh rate, and they're pretty much the same. What it came down to was a combination of gamers and porn. Now, whichever format porno backs is usually the one that becomes the most successful. But, you know, Sony, every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it.
Kirk Lazarus: You talking to me this whole time?
Kevin Sandusky: I... I was talking to whoever was listening to me.

* Cody, fireworker: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: I have no idea. I've never been outside the States.
Cody: Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding me? Did you make this whole goddamn thing up? Dude, were you even in the fucking service?
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Yes. Of course. Coast Guard.
Cody: Coast Guard.
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: Sanitation Department.
Cody: Oh, my God! You're a fucking garbage man! Damn it. F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole goddamn U.S. of A.
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot!
Cody: Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots, okay? You lied about fighting the Vietnam War. God, and to think I believed in you!

* Kirk Lazarus: ... The point is they did something.
Alpa Chino: Then what are we supposed to do, huh? 'Cause he's cleaning a gun with no bullets. Yeah, that's a plan.
Kirk Lazarus: I'm just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he's nervous.
Jeff Portnoy: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I got an idea. This might be a little crazy--
Kirk Lazarus: Crazy's better than nothing.
Jeff Portnoy: Back in '98, I did a low-budget titty comedy for Skinemax. Sex Camp. Remember it?
Kevin Sandusky: Yeah.
Jeff Portnoy: Anyway, me and the campers from the uncool camp had to break into the rich girl camp. So, what we did, we built a catapult out of logs and underwear, and they shot us over the wall, and we parachuted down.
Kevin Sandusky, Alpa Chino, Kirk Lazarus: долгая-долгая пауза, затем:
Kevin Sandusky: Look, you guys, we already know the plan--
Jeff Portnoy: Fine.
Kevin Sandusky: We do it just like in the book, Chapter 26, the Wet Offensive.
Kirk Lazarus: The book of Tropic Thunder.
Kevin Sandusky: Yeah, did you guys read the book?
Jeff Portnoy: The flap, I read the back flap and saw the pictures.
Kevin Sandusky: Well, it's okay. It's exactly the same as in the script.
Kirk Lazarus: Cool.
Kevin Sandusky: You guys all read the script, right?
Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script, script reads me.
Kevin Sandusky: What the hell does that even mean?
Kirk Lazarus: What you getting at with the books, scripts? Spit that shit out, man!
Kevin Sandusky: All right. The Wet Offensive. Osiris and Fats go undercover as a diversion. Motown and Brooklyn sneak in via the river.
Alpa Chino: Yeah. But those dudes was trained soldiers.
Kirk Lazarus: Yeah! And we trained actors, motherfucker. Time to man up. And I ain't gonna sugarcoat. Some of us might not even make it back.
Jeff Portnoy: What do you mean? Like not on the same flight?

* Les: Les Grossman.
Flaming Dragon: We not get money yet. Price now 100 million! You pay now, or tomorrow Simple Jack die.
Les: Great. Let me get this down. 100 million. Wait! I got a better idea. Instead of 100 million, how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese? Then you kill him! Do your thing! Skin the fucking bastard! Go to town, man! Go to town!
Rick Peck, agent: No...
Les: In the meantime, and as usual, go fuck yourself!
Rick: No...
Les: We don't negotiate with terrorists. (Долгие, продолжительные апплодисменты. Все встают.)

* Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, are you insane? They're gonna kill him!
Les: And we'll weep for him, in the press. Set up a scholarship in his name. Eventually, and I'm talking way, way down the road, we file an insurance claim. Preferably before the end of the fiscal year. Actually, the claim alone would net us more than the movie would lose.

+ Ben Stiller реабилитирован. Однозначно.

++ Том Круз. Дауни мл. Да и остальные тоже.

Imdb: 7.3/10 (~69,600 голосов по состоянию на 11/2/9).