21 янв. 2010 г.

Zombieland

* Columbus: It's amazing how quickly thing can go from bad' to 'total shit-storm'.

* Columbus: Woulda? Coulda? Shoulda?

* Columbus: I've always been kind of a loner, I avoided other people like they were zombies, even before they were zombies. Now that they are all zombies, I kinda miss people.

* Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, the consistency.

* Columbus: I have a case of chronic anxiety. It is... I've always been kind of phobic... I find lots of things disturbing. Like undertoe, or department store centers, being alone with a baby. But the thing I fear more than anything else, even more than zombies is... Fucking clowns.

* Columbus: You see, you just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

* Tallahassee: You know, you're like a penguin on the north pole, hear the south pole is really nice this time of year.
   Columbus: There are no penguins on the north pole.
   Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?

* Tallahassee: Time to nut up or shut up!

* Tallahassee: Would you rather be smart or lucky?

* Tallahassee: They're in the back, aren't they?
   Little Rock: Just me.
   Columbus: I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger.
   Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a twelve year old?
   Columbus: Well, girls mature faster than boys. She is way ahead of where I was at that age.
   Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.

* Colambus: Ok, let me begin my three-part apology by saying that I think you're a wonderful human with great potential...
   Tallahassee: FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
   Colambus: I'm sure...
   Tallahassee: You get 45% power.

* Te: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to La Menzion de Murray.
   Colambus: Oh, Bill Murray.
   Wichita: God, no way.
   Tallahassee: This guy has a direct line to my funny bone, I mean every...
   Little Rock: Boy, who's Bill Murray?
   Tallahassee: I have never hit a kid before, but I mean that's like asking who Gandhi is.
   Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?

* Wichita: Oh, Free parking, which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland.
   Colambus: No, best thing about Z-land: No Facebook status updates. You know "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday". Who cares. The best thing is no more flushing, epic.
   Wichita: And worst thing? About Z-land?
   Colambus: You mean other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?

* Tallahassee: I haven't cried like that since Titanic.

* Tallahassee: My mama always told me, someday I'll be good at something. Who'd have guessed that something'd be zombie killin'.
   Columbus: Probably nobody.


* Columbus: Why am I alive, when everyone around me had turned to meat? It's because of my list of rules.
  • Rule#1 for survival in Zombieland... is "Cardio":
    When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first one to go were the fatties.
  • Rule#2 "The Double Tag":
    In those moments when you're not sure that the 'undead' are really dead-ed don't get off stingy with your bullets. I mean one more clean shot to the head.
  • Rule #3 "Beware of Bathrooms":
    When you are at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it. Don't let them catch you with your pants down.
  • Rule#4 "Fasten your seatbelts":
    It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
  • Rule #7: "Travel light":
    And I don't mean just luggage.
  • Rule #17, maybe the most important of all: "Don't be hero."
  • Rule #22: "When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out."
  • Rule #31: "Check The Back Seat."
  • Rule #32: "Enjoy the little things."

* Columbus: Of course, it had to be a clown. No, it had to be a clown. And it had to be Wichita for me to finally understand that some rules are made to be broken.

* Columbus: So until next time remember: Cardio, seat belts and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I'm Columbus, Ohio, from Zombieland saying: Good night.


stingy — скупой, скаредный
anxiety — тревога, беспокойство, боязнь; страх

7.9/10 on Imdb

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