Angel Has Fallen (2019)

London Has Fallen (2016) <<

Mike Banning: You don't train like it's real, then you're dead when it is.

Neurologist: You're a disaster waiting to happen.

Mike Banning: So you run off your own power source, water, everything?
Clay Banning: Sure. Why not? You stay attached to their tentacles, they own you for life.

Mike Banning: All right, you stay here. I'm gonna go and draw them out.
Clay Banning: No, no, I wouldn't.
Mike Banning: Why?
Clay Banning: Old bull, young bull.

Clay Banning: You're right, son, I did give up. But sometimes it's better to know when to quit instead of lying to yourself... and hurting the ones you love.

Mike Banning: Don't worry about finding me. I'll find you.

Clay Banning: This wasn't the way I wanted to introduce myself...

Wade Jennings: I am what I am.

Mike Banning: We're lions...

Mike Banning: You know, someone said to me once... it's better sometimes knowing when to quit... instead of lying to yourself and hurting the ones you care about the most.

President Trumbull: Mike... it's our moments of struggle that define us. How we handle them is what matters.

Clay Banning: And you thought this was gonna be a bonding experience? Oh. I'm gonna pee in here.

--
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The World Before

The Walking Dead 10×8

Dante: It's okay. In nature, sometimes parents eat their young.

Dante: Places like this are cruel promises to their people, and they crumble at the smallest nick.

Dante: No one is actually kind. We are selfish. We are brutal.

Luke: I'm whistling one of the most whistle-able... is that even a word? It is now... whistle-able sections of Rachmaninoff's variations on a theme of Paganini. It's like one of the greatest pieces of music ever. It's my favorite. And I can only hear it in my head nowadays.

Judith: Russian-English dictionary for Eugene. Satellite parts.

Luke: This guy just came in out of nowhere. He saved my life. He just ran out! Who the hell does that?!

Gabriel: I remember this passage from my studies. Written by a scholar centuries ago who was trying to understand the impossible... "Let me live if life is better for me and take my life if death is better for me." He had surrendered himself to fate because his world defied logic. Defied justice.

Gabriel: We created you from it... and return you into it... and from it we will raise you a second time.

---

Rosita: Thanks.
Eugene: No expressions of gratitude required.

Eugene: I only wish there was more I could offer than to pay my respects and to bash a few vexatious walkers in their flame-blistered crania.

Rosita: Maybe Dante was right about us. We're not as strong as we think we are...

Michonne: You're gonna answer our questions. Who are your people?

Gabriel: Do we deserve a second chance? I don't know. But sometimes we get one, anyway.

Virgil: Your daughter's a little demon with a sword.
Michonne: Yeah. Like mother, like daughter. Only mine wouldn't leave anything to heal.

Virgil: No way you make it this long without being comfortable with violence.

Michonne: You just reminded me of something a friend of mine used to say... "My mercy prevails over my wrath."

Luke: Michonne, I don't want you to worry. We got Judith looking after us.

--
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So Long, Marianne

This Is Us 4×9

Kevin: It's gonna be perfect, trust me. Okay?

Toby: There will be plenty of firsts, right? Like his first Thanksgiving... This is your first one, buddy. It's gonna be awesome...

Kevin: Think about it. All right? What could be less scary than coming out to a-a plastic clown head?

Kate: How about this: you tell me your evil feeling and I'll tell you mine.

Kate: I hate CrossFit Toby.

Beth: If you're only going to other people about what's happening in your marriage, it's... it can be dangerous territory.

Randall: Oh, man, my dad used to love this song. "So Long Marianne". Loved listening to it. Loved explaining it to us even more. Over and over...

Nicky: No, no, no, no. Leave it. It's Leonard Cohen. He's a poet.
Jack: Nicky, if I wanted a poem, I'd read a book.
Nicky: No, you wouldn't. Just listen.

---

Nicky: He's singing about the love of his life moving on from him, but there's no bitterness in him. He's just grateful to have loved her.

Randall: He was lost before he met her and then she became his home. And in the chorus, listen, he's saying goodbye, but he can't quite let go.

Nicky: He's sending her away and calling her back in the same breath... I just hope that she came back to him and that they laughed again.

Randall: I hope she went back to him and they laughed together again. Something my dad would always say whenever he listened to this song. Uh, nope, he called it a poem. He'd give us all kind of hell if we called it a song.

Randall: Uh, Nicky, this is Shauna. She's our, uh, adopted daughter's biological mother.
Nicky: Okay.

Nicky: Well, I've learned that, uh... traditions inspired by Jack Pearson are sort of the backbone of this shindig. So... So, uh... here goes.

Jack Damon: Have some shrimp. There's five pounds.

Kevin: I think that's what's next for me. Yeah. For sure. Absolutely. By the time I'm 40, I'm gonna have a wife, I'm gonna have a kid, the whole shebang.
Randall: You should probably date somebody first. You know, it's only nine months till our birthday.
Kevin: Why you always got to be a buzzkill? Huh?

--
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The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Young Sheldon 3×8

Dr. Sturgis: You'll notice that your grades are lower than expected. That's because Sheldon did so well, he broke the curve, turning your A's and B's into B's and C's.
Sheldon: .... They don't seem happy about it. Maybe you can give them candy.

Dr. Sturgis: Na zdrowie! That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian.
George: This is not the place to talk Russian...

Dr. Sturgis: They're looking to sweeten the pot. That's a gambling metaphor. A lesser-known version is "sweeten the kitty." I assume the difference is regional, but I'm no etymologist. This beer is yummy. Mmm!

George: I'm a football coach. Does the school even have a team?
Dr. Sturgis: Oh, yes, they do. They-they don't win much, but they lead the league in injuries.

Mary: I don't know, George... There are more important things than money.
George: That's cute. You should knit that on a pillow.

Mary: What's Goober?
Missy: Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Think about how much time we'd save.

Georgie: What's for dinner?
Mary: Meatloaf.
Georgie: Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.
Mary: No, you are not! We're having dinner as a family.
Georgie: Yeah, but I got money now and I can do what I want. And what I want is a chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.

Mary: Missy, let this be a lesson to you. The love of money is the root of all evil.

---

George: Let me discuss it with my family, and I'll get back to you. Bye.
Wayne: What was that about?
George: Are you my family?
Wayne: I don't know. I like to think of myself as your work wife.

Pastor Jeff: What's the buzz? Tell me, what's a-happenin'?... Jesus Christ Superstar. It's a great show.

Pastor Jeff: In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out. Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."
Mary: I know, but it seems like the whole world is sending the opposite message.
Pastor Jeff: Don't I know it. Just the other day, I was at the mall and a toaster oven caught my eye. Next thing you know, I was in line to buy it, and I realized I have a toaster and I have an oven. What am I doing?

Pastor Jeff: Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out in honky-tonks and casinos. Sometimes he's in the appliance section of Sears.
Mary: Well, if it's everywhere, how can we fight it?
Pastor Jeff: We may not be able to control the world, but we can control our homes. It's up to us to create an environment where the sin of greed can find no purchase.
Mary: Is that what you've done in your home?
Pastor Jeff: Well, I do make my toast vertically, two slices at a time. Take that, Satan!

George: Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting.

Sheldon: Star Trek in school? Wowie Zowie.

Mary: I think this show is teaching you bad lessons.
Missy: Don't worry. I'm a slow learner.

Mary: That is it! I am taking this house back from the devil.

Pastor Jeff: Lord, give me strength.... I'm sorry, God. I'm weak.

--
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The Zookeeper's Wife (2017)

Antonina Zabinska: I don't want to run away. ... People always want to run when they don't know what's coming. It's their first instinct, always to run.

Lutz Heck: We'll give them sanctuary. You know you can trust my word on this. And when the war is over, I can return them to you.
Antonina Zabinska: But what if the war comes to Germany?
Lutz Heck: A terrible thought, I know, and a personal nightmare for me, but I must tell you the Allied forces are very weak. I expect this to be over very soon.

Maurycy Fraenkel: We're going to go where they want us to go, that's all. And when the war is over, we'll come home again...

Antonina Zabinska: And for how long?
Jan Zabinski: They'd be our guests until we found them refuge.
Antonina Zabinska: A human zoo...
Jan Zabinski: We have to keep the grounds in operation, or we're lost. But whatever it is, whatever we do, we have to hide it in plain sight.

Lutz Heck: What do you propose, Frau Zabińska?
Antonina Zabinska: A pig farm, Herr Heck.
Lutz Heck: A pig farm? Is this a joke?

Lutz Heck: I'm sure Göring will be pleased with the idea. And what an irony, a trayf farm fed by Jewish garbage...

Antonina Zabinska: We were running for so long. And no one knows how hard it is, a life in hiding. You can never tell who your enemies are, or who to trust. Maybe that's why I love animals so much. You look in their eyes, and you know exactly what's in their hearts. They're not like people.

Antonina Zabinska: Bring them out. Bring as many as you can.

--
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The Answer

The Good Place 4×9

Chapter 48

Michael: It's not that easy. He lived a whole life and then 802 afterlives, and a second life, then a second afterlife, and then a third "first" afterlife. His psyche is like a giant bowl of M&M Peep chili. I gotta make sure all the memories go in the right place in the right order.

Chidi: ...more importantly, I proved once and for all that you can always find the answer.
Uzo: The answer to what?
Chidi: To anything. Every problem has an answer. If you just read enough books and think hard enough, you can figure out the answer to any question.
Uzo: I know you're really smart, but that sounds wrong.

Chidi: It's the reason I got into philosophy. The biggest questions and the biggest answers, you just gotta find them.

Michael: Janet knows the answers to all the questions in the universe. Ask her anything.
Chidi: I mean, which answer do I want? I mean, something profound, obviously. It shouldn't be trivial or salacious. Or maybe I should start small and maybe ramp up. Or... I can't... What's the biggest fish?

Jason: Chidi, here's the thing with stuff. You can look at a problem from every angle and drive yourself crazy, but sometimes, you just gotta huck a Molotov cocktail at a drone and see what happens.
Chidi: Is what happens that the drone blows up?
Jason: Usually. I mean, where I'm from, most things blow up eventually, so I learned that when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down.

Jason: If you're always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you'll miss your opportunity and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.

---

Chidi: I can't just open a door and walk through without knowing what's on the other side. Even with eternity to try, I just don't think that can happen.
Janet: Well, I never thought I'd ever be able to get married. I thought I was too old. I'm infinity, but strange things happen in the afterlife.

Tahani: The confidence comes from failure... You live through the failure and you learn from it.

Eleanor: Okay. I'll take those one at a time, I guess. Um, it was a kiss. I did it because I wanted to... And as far as who it was, it was me, weirdo.

Chidi: Can I ask you a question? Soul mates aren't... real, are they?
Michael: Chidi, in all honesty, I don't know, but I don't think so. ... If soul mates do exist, they're not found. They're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship...

Chidi: I never knew they went to counseling...
Michael: Yeah, kids are idiots. If they knew half the stuff their folks were up to, they'd lose their minds.

Chidi: Turns out life isn't a puzzle that can just be solved one time and... and it's done. You wake up every day and you solve it again.
Michael: Terribly inefficient.

Michael: Hi there, Chidi. Welcome back.

Chidi: I think it might be some of the best writing I've ever done... There is NO "Answer"... But Eleanor IS the Answer.

--
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Maximizing Alphaness

Silicon Valley 6×4

Richard: Look, I don't wanna use Hooli shit anymore than you guys, but this is for the greater good of the company.

Hoover: Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses. This is about your experience at Hooli?
Gavin: No, no. It's a coming-of-age story about a lost, yet handsome teen growing up one fateful summer in Maine.

Gavin: Editors are for people who can't write correctly the first time.

John: Okay, here they are. The push-to-talk HooliPhone 13-X. Here's a HooliPhone right here...

Dinesh: You ran a brute force search on a sorted list?

Richard: I think people were just excited to, you know, razz the CEO. It's all in good fun.
Dinesh: I did not have fun. I watched you get kicked in the balls for 90 minutes. My balls hurt sympathetically for your balls.

Dinesh: Do you know why the gorillas respected Jane Goodall?
Richard: Jane Goodall studied chimpanzees.
Dinesh: Wrong! It's because she could kick their ass, and they knew it. You need to assert dominance like Jane Goodall.

---

Gavin: I didn't fail tech. Tech failed me. Tech failed all of us. Look. We should be in a Waldenbooks, but we're here, in this decrepit shithole, and why? Because people buy books online, thanks to Hool... Amazon. So, don't point fingers at me.

Gavin: I didn't write about tech because tech destroys worlds, and I, I wanted to create them.

Ethan: [It] makes me happy, and... if you had as much managerial experience as I do, you'd know that keeping your star coder happy is how you get the best work, and you guys need me to do really good work because I'm kind of the only person here that can do it, so...

Tracy: So, it's complicated. You were the clear aggressor in this incident, but you're also the only one who got hurt.
Ron Laflamme: You hit him in the forehead, which is the single hardest part of the human body.
Tracy: I would never advocate violence, but when you make a fist, you wanna keep your thumb on the outside.

Tracy: You need to go talk to Ethan and give him a sincere and honest apology.
Ron Laflamme: Without admitting any fault or describing what happened in any way.

John: Bishop to E6... Checkmate.
Gilfoyle: Fuck.
John: Okay, so that's... 42 games for me, and... zero for you. You wanna play again?

--
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The Word

Castle Rock 2×7

Annie: I don't know why a crazy woman does what she does. I don't know, and I don't care.

John: Real soldiers don't tell war stories... Real soldiers know that nobody wants to fucking hear them.

Ace: We're a group of like-minded individuals fostering accord between two communities, Castle Rock and Salem's Lot, all on the eve of our 400th anniversary. Are you going to the parade?

Pop: Something's wrong. Something bad is coming.

Ace: Let me tell you a story about starting over... Someone once said that every good story ends where it begins. Well, this one begins right here in Castle Rock, and it will end here too.

--
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407 Proxy Authentication Required

Mr. Robot 4×7

Fernando Vera: I'm all emotional and shit. Told myself I'd keep it cool, you know. Told myself I wouldn't do no fanboy shit like this, but I'm sorry, dude. I just have so much respect for your ass, it makes me all... Yo, what's that word those weird-ass Hasids use for this shit?
Javi: Mm, "verklempt"?
Fernando Vera: That's it, verklempt.

Mr. Robot: Settle in, this looks like it's gonna be a long one...

Fernando Vera: ...And then it hit me why I was feeling empty that whole time. Home isn't where you from. It's... where you supposed to be.

Fernando Vera: So tell me, how do we get him out? How does this voodoo shit work, exactly? Do we say "Mr. Robot" three times in the mirror? Rub a lamp? Roll your eyes back, play Bob Marley, light some candles?

Mr. Robot: You wanna talk? Let's talk.
Fernando Vera: How do I know it's you? I didn't see no puff of smoke.

Peanuts: What kind of name is Mr. Robot anyway? Some Nickelodeon bullshit, man.

Mr. Robot: I'm not someone you push around with a gun. I am the gun. So yeah, you gotta convince me.

Fernando Vera: I wanna own every corner of this city. I want them all pushing my product. And I mean everyone, not just no drug dealers. Every business, every storefront, every billboard in this city, every train in every tunnel, every pig in blue. From the night whores walking the streets to the day whores on the Upper East Side, from the rapists down in lockup to the ones in the high-rises. I wanna roll five boroughs into one Dominican blunt, smoke that shit as I count my cash and ash on these Warbuckses' white, bald heads. That is my master vision, and that... Mr. Robot, is what I want. I wanna own this island.
Mr. Robot: So let me see if I got this... You wanna get into real estate. Is that it? Is that what all this is about?

Mr. Robot: In your word salad, I heard something about drug dealing. Thing is, Pfizer and Eli are a few billion ahead of you, and they can buy your death with the same half-cent it costs them to make a pill.

---

Mr. Robot: You wanna get into billboards? Download Photoshop. Make yourself a cute portfolio. Stores, with the debt everyone's in, I'm sure they'll gladly give 'em to you, in which case, you'll just be owned by their banks. Trains are even more bankrupt, and don't even get me started on the NYPD. Even that blunt you wanna roll is gonna be marked up by Big Tobacco itself. Point is, this city's one big, fat credit card bill, and you wanna pay it, all so you can, what, be another suit with a mortgage? Unless you're after a monopoly on stupidity, please tell me you have more.

Fernando Vera: How much we talking?
Mr. Robot: Even asking that means you're thinking too small. Behind every great fortune, there lies a great crime. That is the corporate motto of these United States. You wanna oink-oink with all the other capitalist pigs? It's not about how much money. It's about robbing money itself...
Fernando Vera: And you can do that for me?

Elliot: I don't give a shit about money. I just wanna take it from them.

Mr. Robot: He's not supposed to know!
Elliot: Know what?

Mr. Robot: I can't protect you anymore...

Fernando Vera: This ain't a death. Elliot, you've been reborn.

Fernando Vera: ...And now that you know the truth... You can use it.

Fernando Vera: This shit you went through, most people don't know pain like that. They never will. And if they did, it would end them. But the people who dig in, the ones who keep surviving, those are the ones you can't beat. Those are the ones no one can beat. Because once you've weathered a storm like yours... You become the storm. You are the storm. And it's the rest of the world that needs to run for cover.

Elliot: I just... I don't wanna be alone anymore.
Fernando Vera: Hey. You're not alone. I see you now.

--
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Open Your Eyes

The Walking Dead 10×7

Carol: Alpha drew a line, and you need to choose which side you're on.

Carol: Let's get started.

Carol: So, what's it gonna be?... Honey or jam? Strawberry or apple?

Siddiq: I did, uh, check out a few of his baby tips. The poop chart... that shit was on point. I mean, literally. Eugene is a bona fide shit-ologist.

Cheryl: Know how I know a man's lying? His lips are moving.

GammaWe walk in darkness, we are free. We bathe in blood, we are free...

Alpha: We are always being tested. We must remain strong.

Dante: I'm sorry, bro... ain't how it works. This place is special... It... It works 'cause it's a village. It takes everyone here to build, grow, and fight, raise rug rats and heal people. Everyone carries equal weight. So, when something happens, it's all our fault, yeah? And when one of us is suffering... we're here to help.

--
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The Mustang (2019)

Henry: You know, riding a mustang, that's the easy part. The hard part is getting your hands on him in the first place.

Henry: All right, cowboy, look. It's real simple. When both ears are pointing one way, to the front, he's happy. When they're both pointing to the back, he ain't so happy. You see his ears?
Roman: Just tell me what to do, all right?
Henry: You gotta be patient, man. You gotta be patient if you wanna get your hands on him.

Psychologist: How long have you been in prison?
Roman: Twelve years.
Psychologist: And how long from the thought of the crime to the actual crime?
Roman: .... A split second.

Myles: You have to remember something... I've worked with horses a long goddamn time. And some you can break, and some you can't.

--
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Standing Sam

Atypical 3×2

Sam: Molting looks painful...

Zahid: I wear suspenders now. You can always trust a guy in suspenders.

Sam: I'm not a penguin. I'm a bee.

Sam: I wonder if molting penguins stand in front of other penguins and get embarrassed about all their feathers falling out.... The thing is, as a penguin, you really have no choice.

Sam: I'm Standing Sam.

Sam: The thing about molting is... you just have to get through it.

Elsa: Dorms? On campus? Not home?

Sam: When a penguin molts, they're no longer waterproof... forcing them away from the place they feel most at home.

Sam: Molting requires that you look a lot worse before you can look better.

Sam: Even though every penguin molts, they rarely molt together. It's universal but lonely.

--
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Best Laid Plans

Atypical 3×1

Paige: Sam, I want a summer of love. Every day packed with adventure and romance, every moment dreamy and perfect.
Sam: Okay.

Sam: While any expedition can be physically grueling... the most challenging aspects are mental, dealing with the fear, the isolation, the doubt.

Sam: I'm completely prepared for normal registration. Roald Amundsen said, "Victory awaits him who has everything in order."

Sam: Feast your eyes. My official Denton student ID. You can now call me Denton student 9783210.

Officer: Are you okay, miss?
Julia: I think I'm having contractions. Do you have a room where my water can break?

Sam: The thing about any expedition, even a walk around the block, is that you can never be fully prepared.

Paige: Sam... I know you're gonna be the one out of five. 'Cause you're my one in a million.
Sam: That doesn't really make sense.

--
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Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Young Sheldon 3×7

George: What's a modem do?
Sheldon: It allows me to connect my computer to other computers that also have one.
George: Why would you need to do that?
Sheldon: So I can share my scientific ideas with academics all over the world.

Sheldon: It's like the cybernetic version of the Algonquin Round Table.
George: I don't know what that means.
Sheldon: That's okay, you're still my dad and I'm genetically obligated to love you.

Georgie: What the hell's a modem?
Sheldon: It links my computer to an interconnected web of other computers in order to facilitate the exchange of ideas.
Georgie: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

Sheldon: This is completely anonymous. I can say whatever I want without fear of physical retaliation. Thanks.
Adult Sheldon: And on that day, my sister created the first Internet flame war.
Sheldon: Ooh, that is as cruel as it is grammatical... And send.

Meemaw: Sheldon has friends he talks on the phone with?!
Mary: Well, his computer was talking to another computer.
Meemaw: Oh. And the world makes sense again.

Sheldon: It's just so easy. All you do is type in the Usenet address: "sci... dot... theory... dot... physics... dot... research... dot... quantum." Press enter, and it comes right up...

Sheldon: That was one of my classic jokes; feel free to laugh.

Mary: Do something. Break it up!
George: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

--
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The Golden Glove (2019)

«...лента, которая не получила никаких наград, хотя шуму наделала немало. Одни постеры чего стоят – жуткий персонаж с перебитым носом и дикими глазами на красном фоне. Картина, у которой есть не только визуальный ряд и звуковой ряд. Кажется, что всю картину ощущаешь даже запах: душный перегар и сигаретный дым, смрад гниющей еды и нечищенного унитаза, запах разлагающихся в квартире главного героя трупов.
.....
Гораздо проще назвать с десяток причин, почему этот фильм смотреть не нужно. В первую очередь его смотреть чисто физиологически очень тяжело – режиссер так умело показывает быт и «развлечения» Хонки, что все два часа фильм приходится с трудом сдерживать подкатывающую тошноту. И все-таки это кино не про маньяка, не про трупы, не про разложение и смрад. Это фильм про забытых людей, которые на фоне экономического расцвета, который наступил в Германии спустя 30 лет после окончания войны, оставил на обочине людей, которые так и остались жертвами той войны. Бессмысленными, опустившимися, жестокими и изломанными.»

Teacher: Only when you learn something will you become something. If you have learned nothing, you will become nothing.

Fritz Honka: Yeah, life's a hurdy gurdy.
Siggi Honka: No, it goes like this: "Life's a barrel organ, and the Lord God turns the crank. We're all but dancers to His tune, and have our fate to thank."
Fritz Honka: Can't say anything against that.
Siggi Honka: Yeah, or this one: "Life's a card game. If you want to play, you have to take the hand you're dealt."
Fritz Honka: Yeah, my brother knows all the best sayings.
Siggi Honka: Right. Like this one: "Flowers are like people: The fatter, the dumber."

Gisela: Every little worm does its best.

Fritz Honka (jung): Why are the curtains closed?
Herbert Nürnberg: So people don't see the sun. People don't drink when the sun is shining.

Wolter: I must say, you couldn't be more on time!
Fritz Honka: Punctuality is not everything, but without it, all is nothing.
Wolter: Whatever.

--
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The Funeral to End All Funerals

The Good Place 4×8

Chapter 47

Eleanor: Tell us what happened. Did we win, did we lose?
Tahani: Is humanity saved forever?
Jason: And did you find my Nintendo? I can't find it any... whoop. Never mind. I'm holding it.

Eleanor: Hang on. I worked my ash off running this neighborhood for a full year...

Tahani: Hang on. This is how we take our minds off the Judge's ruling. Let's throw ourselves the funeral to end all funerals.

Eleanor: We are here to celebrate the afterlife of Tahani Al-Jamil, in the place she felt most comfortable... the cabin of a Gulfstream G650 private jet.

Tahani: Jason, at the risk of getting an answer that might thoroughly depress me, what made you choose this setting?

Janet: I could see something special inside him that no one else could see. It was a multi-colored blob of positivity right behind his sternum. That's my Jason, a big, colorful, rainbow blob stuffed inside a hot, life-size action figure.

Eleanor: I gotta say it was nice to have a true dirtbag buddy so I could talk about what really mattered in life. Wrestling, semi-legal drugs, and Jason Statham.
Jason: Statham forever!

Shawn: If humans can't be good with their needs magically met, maybe they're just not that good.

Michael: ...so that's six people. That's the number of friends in "Friends." Are you gonna sit there and say that every single Friend belongs in hell? I mean, maybe Ross and Rachel, and Monica and Joey, and definitely Chandler... but Phoebe?...

Shawn: If he gets to bring in random good people into it, I should be able to bring in random bad people. Call up Elizabeth Holmes. No, Henry Kissinger. No... PewDiePie.

Michael: This is it, Your Honor. This is the whole story. No one is beyond rehabilitation.

---

Eleanor: Chidi was a... rootin', tootin', rackin' frackin' varmint.

Eleanor: Canceling Earth... but doesn't seem a bit drastic?
The Judge: It's just too much of a mess down there, you know? I mean, the simplest solution is to erase everyone that ever lived and restart with a bunch of amoebas or whatever. Then human life will evolve again, or maybe even something better. Maybe this time they won't have baby teeth, you know? That whole thing is so weird, like they fall out and then the bigger teeth just grow out of that same hole. Gross.

The Judge: How are you guys surprised? I mean, what did you think was gonna happen if you won?
Michael: I don't know. I thought we could just give, like, give three points for eating an apple instead of two.

The Judge: Where did I put that human wiper outer thingy?...

Shawn: Wow, you won. And you still somehow failed. Classic.

The Judge: Michael, Shawn, Janet, see you in maybe a billion years. It has been one crazy ride, you guys.

Michael: Okay, so what's the plan? Plan, plan, plan. Step one, get a plan. Step two, do the plan. Yeah, yeah. This is working.

Eleanor: There is literally only one person here who is smart enough and thoughtful enough to save humanity. ... Designing a better afterlife is the ultimate ethical question.

Michael: You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and then tell him he has, like, 45 minutes to save humanity? You think that will go well?

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Final Girl

American Horror Story. 1984

9×9

Montana: We were forgotten. Something else must have gotten their attention.

Montana: I'll tell you, but you first. What's going on out there? What's the music like? What do people do to stay in shape? Who's the president? Uh, what did people think of the '80s? Did Judd Nelson ever get his Oscar?

Bobby: The '80s are having a little comeback now. I mean, people like the clothes and the music, but aerobics is kind of a joke these days.

Montana: It's a long story.
Trevor: It was Halloween 1989...

Margaret: Trevor, darling, haven't you heard? People can run from me, but they never get away.

Montana: Dude, he freaking made it through, because Billy Idol is a survivor! Come on, think about it. You can't sing "rebel yell" and not be a rebel.

Ramirez: I'll come back. I'll come back... For all of you.

Montana: For 30 straight years, that's exactly what we've given him. A literal death watch. There are over 40 souls here. We all take turns. The second he wakes, we're on him like flies on shit.

---

Donna: She was thorough. I'll give her that. Opportunistic. Smart. A straight up psychopath. Put all that into a blender, and you got one of the most vicious serial killers of the 20th century.

Shoot her over the property line!

Montana: Actually, the brain can live on for about 30 seconds after decapitation...

Bobby: So you were the last one. The only one.
Donna: The final girl.

Bobby: There must be someone else who knows... Someone else who made it out. Maybe you weren't the final girl after all...

Bobby: You did what all good parents do. You... You sacrificed yourself for your child.

Benjamin: Forget this place and go live.

Margaret: I win! I am the final girl. I am always the final girl!

Montana: Get out of here and never come back. But don't forget us. Tell our ghost stories to your children, and we'll live on forever. The '80s will never die.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Burning Man

Mr. Mercedes 3x10

Bill Hodges: It's time to start scarin' people.

Morris Bellamy: Tick, tick, tick. That's what I am. A ticking fucking... bomb!

Lou Linklatter: My caseworker's saying that I should find something autonomous and flexible. I'm hoping she doesn't mean hooker.

Morris Bellamy: Do not tell me anything is simple. Nothing turns out to be simple. Things we think are simple turn to shit! And while Jimmy Gold said "shit don't mean shit," sometimes it does. Sometimes it means deep fucking shit like this.

Bill Hodges: Look, you're worthless from a thinking standpoint, Tom.

Lou Linklatter: Killer? It's okay, you can say it. Former best friend and killer. Current killer. He, uh, he's currently killed, so I'm currently the... the current killer. Presently current killer.

Morris Bellamy: Fuck! I'm killin' dead people now.

Bill Hodges: Maybe you were right.
Jerome Robinson: Which time?

Bill Hodges: I'm perfectly fine. Everybody's fine. Peter's fine. The mother's fine. The father's fine. Bellamy's better than fine. He's fuckin' well done.

--
On the IMDb
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Sorry

This Is Us 4×8

Nicky: I thought you were trying to help the poor kid fix her marriage, not destroy it... You're like a human wrecking ball.

Toby: Here's a theory. Maybe baby doesn't like banana...
Kate: Everybody likes banana. It's the healthy snack that comes in its own wrapper.

Nicky: Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. I don't have bacon. I don't have eggs. But I got coffee...

Rebecca: ...So, if you could, uh, picture me grocery shopping with three toddlers, you'll understand I know all about multitasking.

Rebecca: My son, the congressman...
Randall: It's, uh, councilman, Mom. I'm a councilman.

Beth: Okay, you two, just pretend I'm not here. But also remember, I will be here the whole time...

Kevin: No, no, I don't have to look for trouble. Trouble always finds me. Like a human wrecking ball, actually.

---

Gregory: I'm happy you came by. Really.
Kate: Are you? 'Cause you don't act like it.
Gregory: Yeah, I know. Ever since the stroke, I have trouble making my voice and face express empathy and gratitude. Doesn't mean I don't have any.

Kevin: It's a funny story.
Cassidy: Did you win?

Kevin: "I'm sorry" is like a... It's like a magic word when you're a kid. Doesn't matter what you did. Say you're sorry and it all goes away. Then you grow up, and it just... doesn't work anymore, does it?

Nicky: I was wrong. I wasn't broken. I was sick. And when you're sick, you, uh... you got to let the people who care about you help.

Beth: I'm going to the pantry. You'll be unsupervised for the next 30 seconds.

Randall: You just seemed so down on yourself. I just want people to see you the way I do.

Rebecca: If you want to say something, go ahead and say it!
Randall: Mom, the only thing that I want to say is that I love you. And I'm concerned.

--
On the IMDb

Board Girls

South Park 23×7

P.C. Principal: Okay! Okay! We know... "Mulan" is outdated in creating straw dog characters to talk about trans issues. Daddy's turning it off.

VP Strong Woman: We've really come a long way breaking down gender binary bigotry, and I hope I can especially inspire some of my girl students here.
P.C. Principal: Or those who identify as girls.
VP Strong Woman: Yes, or those who identify as girls.

Heather Swanson: I'm not here to talk about my transition. I'm here to kick some fucking ass... I'm gonna roll up the other women here, and I'm gonna smoke 'em. I am the strongest woman this state has ever seen!

VP Strong Woman: Uh, good luck, Heather.
Heather Swanson: Luck is for dudes.

P.C. Principal: I guess she... just started identifying as a woman a few weeks ago. Doesn't really s-seem fair.
VP Strong Woman: Just don't. You'll upset the PC Babies.

Eric Cartman: Every single game we play, they, like, figure out all the rules and they use the rules to, like, make us look stupid.
Butters Stotch: In "D&D," they killed the dungeon master! We didn't think it was even possible to kill the dungeon master.
Eric Cartman: Shut up, Butters. It's not possible.

Eric Cartman: It's just that, we play board games for the theme. We want to be pirates or Vikings. You know what the girls think about? They think about red cubes versus blue cubes and how much of this equals that many victory points. They're just doing math!
Mr. Mackey: So, they're smarter than you and beating you at all the board games.

Heather Swanson: Oooh, sounds like someone here is a transphobe.
P.C. Principal: Don't you dare! I'm trans peoples' biggest supporter. What I think you are is a terrible sport!
Heather Swanson: Transphobe!

---

P.C. Principal: Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
VP Strong Woman: What do you mean?
P.C. Principal: I don't know what it is but... something about that woman just doesn't seem right.

Eric Cartman: Yes, inclusion is wonderful, but we have to admit that boys and girls are simply different in some ways that can sometimes make competitions unfair. Have you ever seen how girls do their homework?...

Heather Swanson: I didn't count on being the best since identifying as a woman.
P.C. Principal: Yeah, no shit, 'cause you went through puberty as a male, so your body is completely different.
Heather Swanson: And that's exactly what a transphobe would say!

P.C. Principal: How am I gonna look my kids in the eyes, Strong? Since they were born, we've taught them to accept and fight for those who are marginalized, that there's no grey area when it comes to inclusion and acceptance. When I go back, all they are going to see is a big fat hypocrite. And now I just used a word to shame people with weight issues.
VP Strong Woman: "P"... you can't just shut down because you're afraid of how the babies are going to react.
P.C. Principal: But they're right, Strong. I shoved a trans person. No matter what, I have no right to judge her.

P.C. Principal: Could you try to explain it to the babies?
VP Strong Woman: You know how they are. They're babies. Their minds are made up before anyone says anything.

Heather Swanson: You see, people don't look up to losers. They look up to champions. And every time I beat another woman, I feel better.
Eric Cartman: Dude, I really like this person.
Heather Swanson: And that's why I'm the best! Because Heather Swanson doesn't get beat. I work to be the best at everything! And Heather Swanson will beat any other woman any time, anywhere!

--
On the IMDb
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